FRIENDS Fan Fiction
Episode – 705
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and to Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
Note: This storyline is mainly about Rachel’s new assistant. There are some bits about Phoebe and Will. The main idea was to just give you an idea of how in love they are. It’s kind of like a lead up.
Cast – Jennifer Aniston as Rachel, Courteney Cox as Monica, Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe, Matt LeBlanc as Joey, Matthew Perry as Chandler and David Schwimmer as Ross.
Skeet Ulrich is Stanley Wilson
Nicole Kidman is Ann Harper
Kerr Smith is Taylor Riggs
Christina Ricci is Smith Walker
(guy who plays Cohen in Dawson’s Creek) is Connor Tall
…………… is Will Jay
…………… is Dr. Driscoll
Scene 1 – Midday. Ross is in Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are there also.
Chandler: So what are we waiting here for?
Ross: We’re waiting for Carol.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, because that’s a group activity.
Ross: You guys can go. She’s bringing Ben here then I’m taking him to visit my dad in hospital. Oh and then I’m going to take him to FAO Schwartz.
Joey: (smiling) Cool!
Ross: Yeah, look here she is.
(Carol enters with Ben. Ben goes and hugs Ross. Ross picks him up).
Ross: Come on Ben. We’re going to see your Grandad.
Ben: Do we have to?
Ross: Well, yeah. And then afterwards I’ll take you to FAO Schwartz.
Joey: (trying to be, but unsuccessfully, subtle) Hey Ben. Here’s my number. When your dad says he’s taking you to FAO Schwartz, you don’t think you could notify me.
(On Ben’s confused look it fades to)
Scene 2 – Rachel is in her office and is sitting there looking through a catalogue when she gets a knock on the door.
Rachel: Come in.
(A guy enters. Quite sexy looking; Skeet Ulrich. I’m sorry if anyone thinks he’s ugly but he is still kinda sexy looking anyway)
Stanley: Hi, I’m Stanley Wilson. I’ve come for the interview for assistant.
Rachel: Right, the assistant. (And then her thoughts are audible) Just be as subtle as you can. Just look to the right and check that you look ok. (As Rachel says this she looks to the right. It’s not THAT subtle though. Still in her head) Right, now make sure that you don’t smudge your make-up. Did he just check you out? No! Maybe!
Stanley: Is something wrong?
Rachel: What? No, nothing. So, right, the assistant. Well, let’s see your resume. Hmmm, very good. You’ve been through a whole year of Bloomingdale’s. Oh, you know, I started in that exact job.
Stanley: Really? The coffee?
Rachel: Yeah. If I hadn’t quit the job before that, I might not be here now.
Sorry, right. So, you’ve worked in fashion before?
Stanley: Yeah, I’m a model.
Rachel: (to herself) No kidding.
Scene 3 – Phoebe is in bed with Will. He has his arm around her and they are looking up at the ceiling.
Will: So, when am I going to meet these friends of yours?
Phoebe: Soon, but not now, I am now.
Will: Oh, ok. Well, can we have dinner at 8?
(She gets up and goes into the bathroom)
Scene 4 – Rachel is in her office. She is just finishing her interview with Stanley.
Rachel: Well, this all looks very good. (under her breath) Well, it would if you had any other qualifications. (to Stanley) Thank-you very much.
Stanley: Ok, thanks a lot.
Rachel: Oh, could you tell the next person to come in please.
(Ann Harper enters)
Rachel: Hi, I’m Rachel Green. And you are…?
Ann: Ann, Ann Harper.
Rachel: Great. So, let’s see. You’ve gone through Fashion College. That’s great, oh and you’ve worked as an assistant before. What was your reason for leaving?
Ann: I felt that I needed to move on my career. Where I was the promotion wasn’t so much of a promotion.
Rachel: Right. And you’ve worked in Ralph Lauren I see.
Ann: Yes, I was an assistant in a lower department. That was about 3 years ago.
Rachel: Ok. Well, everything sounds great. I’ve got about 13 other candidates but I think you will have a good chance.
Ann: Ok. Thanks.
Rachel: Call the next person in.
Rachel: High-achieving bitch!
Scene 5 – Ross and Ben are in the waiting room. Ross is looking slightly worried.
Ben: Dad, why are we waiting so long?
Ross: They’ve just got to check up on him.
What’s wrong with Jack?
Ross: Well, your Grandad, Jack had a heart attack and he has to be fed very carefully so they have to keep him in hospital. And also in case he has another attack they can be close at hand.
(Dr. Driscoll comes out)
Dr. Driscoll: Mr Geller? You can go into your father’s room now.
Ross: Oh good. Come on Ben.
Cut to: Jack’s room.
(Ross and Ben enter).
Ross: Go on Ben. You can go and say hi.
Ben: I don’t want to. He looks dead.
Ross: Oh come on Ben! He’s not dead. He’s just resting. Look. (He goes up to his dad and rests his hand on Jack’s shoulder. Jack stays still but breathes). See, he’s not scary. (Jack moves) Aaaaaaaaaah!
Ben: (laughing) Such an idiot.
Ross: No, Ben. You mustn’t speak to me like that. And especially not in front of anyone else.
Ben: Aw, you’re such an idiot!
Ross: Ben, sshhhhhh!
Ben: Can we go to the toy store now?
Ross: No, you’ve got to say hi to your granddad.
Ben: But he’s in Long Island.
Ross: No, he’s here.
Ben: No, that’s Jack. Granddad is in Long Island. I spoke to him yesterday on the phone.
Oh. Does your mom not teach you anything?
Ben: Toy store! Toy store! Toy store! Toy store!
Nurse: Is everything ok?
Ross: Yes, everything’s fine.
Ben: Toy store! Toy store!
Nurse: I’m sorry but if there’s too much noise then you’ll have to leave. Mr Geller is in a weak condition.
Ross: No, it’s ok. He’ll be quiet. He doesn’t want to miss out on saying hi to his granddad.
Ben: (gets a scheming look on his face) Toys! Toys! Toys!
Ross: (giving up) Ok. We can go to the toy store. But don’t tell Joey.
Ben: Yay! Thank-you daddy!
Scene 6 – Rachel is standing opposite 4 applicants…Stanley Wilson, Taylor Riggs, Smith Walker and Ann Harper.
Rachel: Now, out of 14 applicants, one of which who didn’t turn up, you are the remaining 4. I am going to be asking you some quick questions.
(a man enters. It is Connor Tall)
Connor: Hi, I’m sorry I’m late. My train was delayed.
Rachel: Well, I’m not sure I’ll be able to…(sees Connor)…to…um…choose without interviewing you. Hi Connor. Well, the rest of you, could you give us 5 minutes?
(the 4 applicants leave)
Connor: I’m so sorry. I understand it might delay you but I am really grateful that you are letting me have this interview.
Rachel: So, reason of delay…train was delayed. Where were you coming from?
Connor: Brooklyn, I spent the night at my girlfriend’s house…
Rachel: Really? Well…
Connor: …but then we broke up.
Rachel: (trying to hide a smile) Oh.
Connor: Yeah, so excuse me if I look tired. We were up all night…talking.
Rachel: Well, enough chatting.
Connor: Yeah, well, here’s my resume. (hands her a sheet of paper).
Rachel: Great. (looks at the paper) Wow! This is a great resume. Nice, nice, nice.
Connor: I’m pleased you think so.
Rachel: I know I’m not supposed to tell you but I think you’ve got a very good chance at the job.
Connor: Oh, well, I really want the job. I really want to get into law school.
Rachel: Oh, you want to be a lawyer?
Connor: Yeah, the thing is, my family’s not exactly the Gates.
Rachel: Oh, well. I hope you get the job. And I hope you become a successful lawyer.
Rachel: Now, let’s call the others in.
Connor: I’ll get them. (He goes to the door and beckons the others in. They enter).
Rachel: Now, you are the last 5. I’m going to ask you some questions one by one. I’ll start with you, Ann. Who designed the dress of the year?
Time lapse: They are still there. Rachel is on the last question.
Rachel: Who is the designer known for vintage chic?
Rachel: Right, I’m going to ask three of you to stay. Could Taylor, Connor and Smith remain. Stanley and Ann, thank-you for your time. (Ann picks up her bag and she leaves with Stanley)
Rachel: Right, now, Taylor. I just need to take your details and then I’ll go through the applications. Oh and I’ll need to take your photos. Thank-you.
Taylor: Taylor Riggs, double G.
Rachel: And, age?
Rachel: Really? You look younger. And now, you’re picture.
(she takes a camera out of her desk and takes a picture)
Rachel: You can go now, I’ll get back to you within three days.
Taylor: Thanks. (he leaves)
Smith: Yeah, Smith Walker.
Ok, Smith Walker. Age?
Rachel: And photo. (she takes a picture). You can go now.
Thank you. (she leaves)
Rachel: And last but not least, Connor.
Connor: Tall, Connor Tall.
Rachel: Whoa? You obviously use good face cream.
Connor: Thanks, I hope.
Rachel: Ah, now you’re picture. (she takes a picture) Could you turn your head to the side and look at the wall. (he does. She takes a picture). And now put your hands on your hips. And look at the camera. (he does this. She takes a camera) And now could you look at me and bite your lip?
Connor: Why is this important?
Rachel: Uh…nothing. I think there’s some people downstairs who are looking for people like you as well. So, I could show these to them if you don’t get the job.
Rachel: Well, thank you.
Connor: Thanks. (he goes out)
Rachel: Of course you are going to get the job. So, I think I’ll just keep these.
Scene 7 – Central Perk. They’re all there. They’re just talking, Monica, Chandler and Rachel are on the sofa, Phoebe on the armchair, Joey and Ross at the table.
Well, anyway, so this guy comes into the kitchen and starts telling me how his
food was cold. It’s not long before Renee comes in and sees him and explains
that he was drunk and he was talking about the food at the place across the
Phoebe: I did the same thing.
Monica: Oh, ok…Hey Rach, have you chosen an assistant yet?
Rachel: Yeah, I chose Connor. He’s just so perfect for the job. And he’s really cute.
Chandler: Yeah…you’re not allowed to go out with your assistant.
How do you know?
Chandler: Don’t you remember Nina? No-one found out but I know what people would say.
Rachel: Oh, well, perhaps Ralph Lauren has different rules.
Monica: (sarcastically) Yeah, course they will.