Tow the Confusion


Scene: Rachel's hospitol room

Joey: Ok, what?
Rach: What are you doing down there, Joe?
Joey: i found this ring in Ross' coat
Rach: Oh my god. put it back.
Joey puts it back, walks to the door and turns around to say: don't forget what i said. i'll always be there for you.
Rach: i won't.

Rach is alone in the room for 20 secs when Ross walks in

Ross: (hands her the flowers) These are for you.
Rach: they're pretty, but i can't drink them.
Ross: What?
Rach: i asked you to get me a soda.
Ross: sorry, i just thought you'd like flowers better.
Rach: thinking again, huh Ross?
Ross: Are you okay?
Rach: i'm just peachy.
Ross: I know i forgot your soda, but geeze
Rach: i'm sorry. but i'm tired, thirsty and--
Ross: and i'll go get your soda.

Scene: Nursery
Chandler: isn't it scary to think that we could be having a baby in like 9 months.
Monica: God that's a long time. I wish we already had a baby. hey, oh nevermind.
Chandler: What?
Monica: do you think we could borrow a baby?
Chandler: What? are you crazy people get arrested for that.
Monica: no, actually, they get arrested for stealing a baby. we are just going to borrow one. We intend to give it back.
Chandler: you're nuts.
Monica: but there is nobody watching. just walk up and take one.
Chandler: i don't think so.
Monica: GO!
Chandler: alright, alright. but if i get cought-
Monica: you won't get cought, so go. get a good one.

Scene: Cafeteria
Joey: and i went to get tissues and a ring fell out of Ross: jacket. i showed it to Rachel and i think that she thought that i was proposing.
Pheebs: What'd she say?
Joey: she said okay, but i think she realised that i wasn't proposing and she tried to cover up and asked what i was doing.
Pheebs: this really sucks for Ross b/c i talked him into proposing to Rachel.
Joey: i won't say anything to Ross if she won't. maybe we just won't tell him what happened. so, you don't say anything either.
Pheebs: don't get all floopy! i won't say anything.

Scene: Cafeteria
Monica: look, we have a baby!
Pheebs: how long have we been here?
Chandler: no, we borrowed it.
Pheebs: how could you borrow a baby? you guys better give it back or you'll get in trouble!
Monica: We will, but when we are good and ready.
Chandler (to Pheebs): just don't tell anyone and we won't get in trouble.
Pheebs: excuse me, but who are you?

Scene: Rachel's hospitol room
Ross walks in with a soda: enjoy the soda
Rach: sorry about before
Ross: what are you sorry for? for not being appreciative that i gave you flowers, b/c it's okay. you haven't-
Rach: no it's not okay. i knew you were gonna defend my actions, but there was not excuse for the way i was acting, okay?
Ross: fine. look, i'm gonna be heading off
Rach: no, i don't want to be alone.
Ross: you are so tired. you need sleep and i'll be back early in the morning, okay?
Rach: okay. bye
Ross: byeScene: Hallway
Ross: when will Rachel and the baby be able to come home?
Doctor: Everything looks great, so i would say sometime tomorrow around noon.
Ross: Great. i'll tell her father to visit us around the day after tomorrow.
Doctor: you are kidding, right?
Ross: not so much. her father hates me.

while this conversation is going on, Monica is listening in the background.

Monica (to Ross): i'm just gonna say good bye to Rachel.
Ross: Fine. are you gonna come back tomorrow?
Monica: Well, one of my best friends just had a baby, what do you think?
Ross: a "yes" or a "no" would have been great, but thanks.

Scene: Rachel's hospitol room
Rach: thank god Mon. i really need to talk to you.
Monica: What? is everything okay?
Rach: joey was here and her was being really sweet to me b/c i had this talk w/Janice and she freaked me out so one thing lead to another and before i knew what happened, i thought Joey was proposing to me and i kinda said okay, but--
Monica: you said okay?!?!
Rach: i didn't mean it. i was just freaked out b/c Janice was here and said that sooner or later Ross was gonna meet someone and i would be all alone with Emma.
Monica: why were you even talking to Janice, especially about such a sensative subject?
Rach: Well, i tell ya, it was either talk about this or talk about her kid and Emma getting married.
Monica: the babies are like hours old. What is wrong with her?
Rach: well back to my problem, i think i fixed what i said b/c i said 'okay, what are you doing down there, Joe?' i mean, i think i fooled him.
Monica: i just- i just thought that you wanted to be with Ross.
Rach: i do. i don't know if he'll propose to me. i hope he does.
Monica: why don't you propose to him?
Rach: what? when?
Monica: you could propose tomorrow night b/c i overheard the doctor say that you would be able to come home sometime around noon tomorrow.
Rach: don't you think that's kinda soon?
Monica: soon? you just had his child and you think that proposing to him tomorrow is soon? what kind of calender do you live by?


Scene: Rachel's hospitol room Rach is still sleeping
Mrs. Geller: How did you guys arrive at the name Emma? i thought you would name the baby after me.
Ross: see mom, we didn't know that. Monica gave it to us.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, how lovely. did you give Rachel the ring yet?
Rach just waking up: what ring? (even though her knew)
Ross: yeah mom, what ring?
Mrs. Geller: nevermind, so how are you doing Rachel?
Rach: i'm fine. i heard i could go home today. thank god. those damn nurses kept waking me up. how would they like if i woke them up like ever 3 hours?
Ross: they do that with all patients in a hospitol. it's just to make sure that you're not unconsious or something.
Rach: couldn't they just hitch me up to some kind of fancy machine?
Mrs. Geller: well, don't worry sweetheart, you'll be in your own bed tonight. If you 2 don't mind, i'm gonna go call your father, Ross.

The doctor comes in

Doctor: Rach, since you slept until 10, you only have 2 hours to wait until you can be checked out. here is Emma.
Rach: great.
Doctor: now if you 2 will excuse me, i have paperwork to fill out. (she walks out)
Rach: so seriously, what ring?
Ross: i have no idea what she was talking about.
Rach: oh
Ross: oh, and i have a surprise for you.
Rach: what is it?
Ross: if i told you, it wouldn't be a suprise, now would it?
Monica, Chandler, and Pheebs walk in and all say: good morning
Rach & Ross: good morning
Ross: i'm kinda hungry. anyone want to come to the cafetreria with me?
Pheebs & Chandler: sure
After they leave, Rach says: Mon, i've got news.
Monica: what
Rach: Guess
Monica: no, just tell me
Rach: fine, well Ross says he's got a suprise for me.
Monica: do you think he could be proposing?
Rach: no.(sarchasticly) that thought never entered my mind.

Scene: Hallway
Pheebs to Chandler: so, did you work out the whole baby thing
Ross: what whole baby thing?
Chandler: well, Monica and i kind of borrowed a baby from the nursery and yes we worked it all out.
Ross: how could you guys take a baby. that is just so wrong.
Pheebs: as long as they returned it, i don't see anything wrong
Ross: you don't see anything wrong? you guys probably scared the crap out of the hospitol b/c all hell breaks loose when a baby is missing
Chandler: and you are such an expert when it comes to babies dissapearing from a hospitol.
Ross: well, i'm going to change the subject to my suprise for Rachel
Pheebs and Chandler: what suprise?
Ross: well, when Rachel was still in labor, i called one of my students and hired him to paint the nursery and put in a carpet.
Pheebs: oooh, what colors
Ross: the walls are light rose colored and the carpet is a light maroon.
Chandler: so it's pink and purple
Ross: no it's light rose colored and light maroon
Chandler: sure, whatever you say there
Pheebs: did you also get someone to put together the furniture, b/c you can't put the baby on boxes, ya know.
Ross: really? (sarcastically)

Scene: Rachel and Ross' apartment
Rach: i know we just got home, but i was wondering if maybe tonight you want to go out for dinner. sort of a welcome home thing.
Ross: i guess, but first i have a surprise for you
Rach: what is it?
Ross: just follow me (he shows her the nursery)
Rach: Ross, it is so beautiful. when did this happen?
Ross: i'm just gonna keep that my little secret, okay?
Rach: this is the most beautiful room ever. thank you
Ross: don't mention it. i mean, it's the least i can do.
Rach: it's stunning. Look Emma, this is your room!

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment
Monica: do you think it's positive
Chandler: it takes time for these things to happen. you just don't get pregnant over night.
Monica: the box says that if the stripe is blue, it's positive and if the stripe is pink it's negative. there is still 10 seconds left
Chandler: what does it say?
Monica: it's a purple stripe
Chandler: great, now what does that mean?
Monica: it means... it doesn't say. Chandler it doesn't say!
Chandler: why don't we just go to a doctor and find out
Monica: no, i'm scared of doctors.

Scene: Joey's apartment
Pheobe: it turns out that Cliff is a real creep. he's a cross between Roger and Parker.
Joey: so he's "Rarger"
Pheobe: this is serious. i'm 32 and i am not even close to having a relationship
Joey: try having your heart smashed-twice
Phoebe: Why would i want to do that?
Joey: nevermind
Pheobe: i'm just really down in the dumps
Joey: look, maybe we could go on a pretend date, i mean just to get you out of the dumps.
Phoebe: Joey, it would be weird, and isn't that how you fell in love with Rachel. Wait, sure, let's go out on a pretend date.
Joey: it's a date!

Scene: Rachel & Ross' apartment
Rach: i want you to know something
Ross: what is it?
Rach: i know about the ring that you carried around in your pocket
Ross: oh. speaking of which, where is it?
Rach: i've got it
Ross: why?
Rach: well, if you don't plan on asking me to marry you, i'll ask you to marry me.
Ross: (stunned) Huh??
Rach: i mean, we've known eachother for a long time, you aren't gonna see anybody. i won't see anybody. we have a daughter together and we live together. it's just all so perfect.
Ross: is this like the trick you played on me when i had to pee? Cause if it is, it's just mean.
Rach: it's no trick, will you marry me? (as she leans in to kiss him)
Ross pulls away: let me think about it
Rach: what? (angrily)
Ross: i've thought about it and yes! i would love to marry you.

end of episode

next episode: The One With the Multiple Fetuses

Scene: doctor's office
Monica: i hate being here.
Chandler: i know but we have to find out what that purple line meant
Monica: i know i know
Dr. Frandler walks in: how is everyone today
Chandler: we're a bit confused
Dr. F: i heard about your little problem and i don't know what a purple line means. anyway, i wouldn't trust those things. they're hardly ever right
Monica: that's funny b/c my friend just gave birth and she found out she was pregnant using one of those things-- the same brand infact!
Dr. F: yeah, okay. well i had my nurse give you the test and --
Chandler: is that what that was? (sarchastically)
Dr. F: yes, we should have the results by next week.
Monica: what do you mean next week? can't you do a sonogram or something. what the hell kind of doctor are you?
Chandler: Mon, stop freaking out.
Dr. F: i didn't think of a sonogram and you are my first patient ever. aren't you lucky?!?
Monica whispers to Chandler: i knew we should have gone to Rahcel's doctor.

Scene: resterant
Joey: so, what do you do on a date?
Pheebs: well, i usually make small talk, we eat, desert, and desert
Joey: whoa, sounds good to me
Pheebs: how about you?
Joey: you do not want to know what i do on a date.
Pheebs: why not?
Joey: look, there's Ross, Rachel and Emma!
Pheebs: don't change the subject!
Joey: seriously! turn around
Pheebs: you're right. they must be celebrating being home. Hey guys! come on over!
Rach: hey look! we're engaged!
Ross: finally
Pheebs: now remember Ross, no divorce... no divorce
Rach: very funny Pheebs. so, what are you 2 doing here?
Joey: we're going out on a pretend date b/c Pheebs is all sad.
Ross: why are you sad
Pheebs: that guy that i meant in the hospitol is a creep. i just don't meat any good guys anymore. i mean i want someone who isn't looking for a one night stay
Ross: so you're going out with Joey?
Pheebs: yeah, why
Ross: no reason
Rach: well, we'll let you 2 get back to your pretend date

Scene: doctor's office
Monica: so, what do you see
Dr. F: i see like 3 fetuses
Chandler: wow, i'm good
Monica: you mean like triplets?
Dr. F: you got it
Chandler: ouch
Monica: what
Chandler: we are going to need a bigger place. maybe somewhere in Connecticut.
Monica: why can't we just-- wait, Doctor, are you sure you see 3, b/c you didn't even think to try a sonogram.
Dr. F: i may not have remembered that part, but i definentely see three circle things. you may get a second opinion if you wish
Monica: we will.
Chandler: if you're wrong, can we sue you?
Monica: huh?
Chandler: well, one can always use some extra cash


Written by Angelina Kozak <>