TOW it all falls apart

This fan fic takes place in the 7th season. It does not spoil anything about the season and is written purely for fun by me and I have no connection to the show at all

Mon and Chan's-everyone except Rachel is there watching "Street Smarts"

ANNOUNCER: what continent is the U.S. on?

CONTESTANT: Ummm... Asia

MONICA: what a nitwit

ROSS: No kiddin, even my pet turtle Marcus could have answered that one

CHANDLER: Ok Man I gotta ask. When the hell did you get a turtle and why Marcus?

ROSS: Ok so I don't have a turtle, but if I did i'd name him Marcus cause it's a good turtle name

CHANDLER:Hey whatever butters your toast

PHOEBEE Where's Rach?

MONICA: She had to work late, all the new clothes are coming in for the spring line and she has to do inventory

CHANDLER: Well it's not like she's missing much, I mean besides laughing at the morons on this show

Rach and Joey's- it's around one A.M and Rach has just gotten home, she looks extremely exhausted and sits on the couch and begins to do paperwork. At about 4 am, Joey comes out of his room to use the bathroom

JOEY: Rach, what are you doing?

RACHEL: I"m waxing my cadillac, what the hell does it look like i'm doing?

JOEY: Whoohooo somebody is crabbbby

RACHEL: Yeah well if you had to put together 100 plus pages of paperwork and inventory on the spring line I think you'd be crabby too

JOEY: (backs away slowly as if he's afraid)Ok Rach, it's ok. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and then back to bed, no cause to be alarmed

RACHEL(totally preoccupied) yeah ok Joey, whatever

Couple of hrs later-Rach and Joey are both Eating Breakfast when Monica walks in

MONICA:Hey Im having dinner at my place tonight, Pheebs and Ross are coming too

JOEY(points to a bracelet on Monica's arm) nice bracelet, what did ya do rob a bank?

MONICA: No, Chandler got it for me, he came home from work and surprised me with it, he is so romantic

RACHEL: (looks at her Watch) I have to get to work(leaves)

Rachel's work- shes sitting at her desk trying to calculate the inventory shipments and keeps messing up the numbers

RACHEL: Errrrgh,I hate numbers(throws the calculater across the room and almost hits Jana-a fellow RL employee)

JANA: You ok Rach?

RACHEL:Yeah, i'm just trying to get these reports done and I haven't slept in two days i'm soo tired and all the numbers are blending together

JANA: Isn't your assistant supposed to help with that

RACHEL: Yeah but Tag took a week off to go on vacation

JANA: Oh, well I have something that can help you wake up, if you want it that is

RACHEL: At this point i'll try anything

JANA: Here take a couple of these and I guarantee you'll be wide awake(hands Rachel a bottle of pills and leaves the room)

Rachel turns the bottle around and around in her hands, then glances around the room and hurridly swallows two of the pills

Monica's- everyone is there for dinner

MONICA: Ok who wants another Swedish Meatball?

JOEY: I do

ROSS: Joey, you already have ten on your plate

JOEY: So-I'm hungry, what's your point?

RACHEL:(very wide awake and hyper) Oh Oh OH OH OH!!!!!

CHANDLER: Yes Rachel, are you trying to tell us something-is Timmy in the well again

RACHEL: Ha! Ha! Guys we should go camping

MONICA: That's a good idea, maybe this summer, we can go for a week or something

RACHEL: No I mean right now-let's go camping

CHANDLER: Rach if it wasn't for the fact that it's 8pm on a Tues night and 24 degrees out, i'd be all for your idea

RACHEL: Well lets' do something, don't you guys wanna do something

PHOEBEE: Yeah it's called Sleep, i'm exhausted(kisses Monica on the cheeks and says goodbye to everyone else)

ROSS: Yeah i'm pretty beat too-bye guys

JOEY: Rach, you were up all night where did this sudden energy come from

RACHEL: I dont know I got a second wind I guess. I um, I um uh have to go

MONICA: What was that about??

CHANDLER: Who knows, I do know though that I have a new move I want to try on you

MONICA: Oh really let's see this miracle move(Grabs Chandler and they begin kisssing)

JOEY: I'm going to go now guys(they ignore him) yeah ok, bye

Joey and Rachel's

Phone Rings

JOEY: Hello. Hey Estelle. Yeah, yeah, they said what?? Whoo hooo!!!! Thanks Estelle!!! (hangs up) Yes! Yes! Yes! (begins dancing around the room)

RACHEL: What's up Joe?

JOEY: That was Estelle, i've gotten so many good reviews on DOOL that they're giving me a raise(dances around a bit more than walks into his bedroom)

Its a couple of hours later and Rach is still wide awake

JOEY: Rach,dont you have to work tommorow?

RACHEL: Yeah, why?

JOEY: Well you're usually in bed by now, that's all

RCHEL: I'll go pretty soon, i'm just not tired yet

JOEY: Ok, well I have a big day on the set tommorow, so I"m gonna go read some fan mail before I go to sleep

RACHEL(to herself) Ok I have to be up in 6hrs I need to sleep, but I'm sooo not tired(she walks over to a kitchen cuboard and looks inside-she stares at a bottle of sleeping pills for a minute then opens the bottle and dumps three of them into her hand)

It's a couple of weeks later-everything is basically the same, Joey is doing really well at DOOL and has even gotten some right ups in TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly. Monica and Chandler are still happily in love. Phoebee is still Phoebee and Rachel is even more stresed than befor, Tag took off an extra week of Vacation so she has had to do even more work, and she's been taking the pills in even larger doses to stay awake at work and to sleep at night

Rachel and Joey's

RACHEL:(rushing frantically around the apartment) God, Oh God oh God where the hell are they(throws stuff out of her room and into the hall and almost hits Joey with a purse)

JOEY:(ducks) where are what?

RACHEL: My silver hoop earring, I want to wear them to work today

JOEY: Why not just wear another pair of earrings

RACHEL:(angrily) Because I am wearing silver shoes, and those earrings match perfectly

JOEY: wait, are you talking about those big, silver,hoop earrings

RACHEL:Yes Joey, where the hell have you been for the last five minutes

JOEY: Well I saw Pheebs wearing earring like that yesterday. I thought they were kinda cool, so I asked where she got um from and she said you had lent them to her

RACHEL: I so did not(picks up the phone) Phoebee, Hi it's Rachel. If it's not too much trouble i'd like my silver earring back. What? No I can't wait til tommorow I want them now(slams down the phone)

about 20 min later

PHOEBEE:Here are the earrings

RACHEL: Thanks, and Phoebee next time ask before you take my stuff

PHOEBEE: I did ask

RACHEL: No you didn't

PHOEBEE: Yes I did

RACHEL: Ok Pheebs you know what, I don't have time to argue. I"m late for work and now I have a headache

PHOEBEE: Well why don't you just call in sick. You've been working hard the past couple of weeks

RACHEL:(screaming) i've been working hard because we've been busy, I have a lot of stuff to get done and no time to miss work

PHOEBEE: Well sorry, you don't have to(screams) Yell at me(normal voice) you know what i'm just going to go

RACHEL: Pheebs wait, i'm sorry I yelled. I"ve just been really stressed with all the stuff going on at work and all(begins rumaging around in her purse, takes out the pill bottle and takes 6 pills)

PHOEBEE:(grabs the bottle from Rachel) Rachel Karen Green, do you know how dangerous these pills are? How long have you been taking them?

RACHEL: I don't know, a couple of weeks

PHOEBEE: You have to stop, I'm not joking Rach, these are really dangerous

RACHEL: I know, I just took them to stay awake at work, but I promise i'll stop

PHOEBEE give me the bottle

RACHEL: Alright,(hands Phoebee the bottle)

PHOEBEE: There my good deed for the day is done

RACHEL: Pheebs, could you not tell anyone else about this, I don't want it to become like some huge, big deal

PHOEBEE: As long as you promise never to do anything like that again

RACHEL: I promise

Phoebee leaves and Rachel goes into her bedroom and opens her nightstand drawer. She takes out another bottle of pills and slips it into her purse

Later in the day

Monica's and Chandler's-Monica, Ross and CHandler are there and Chandler is reading the paper

CHANDLER: This article says a man in Conneticut has memorized the entire dictionary

ROSS: I could do that

MONICA: Oh puhlleaze, you can't even say the alphabet without singing the song

ROSS: Hey, I could so memorize the dictionary, in fact 50 dollars says that by Fri night i'll have the A's

MONICA: are we all still going out to dinner Friday?

ROSS: I"ll be there

MONICA: Fine, be prepared to talk extensivly about the letter A

Rachel's work

RACHEL: Hey Tag, I need you to file all of these forms and then find out about that new shipment of swimwear

TAG: what no welcome back kiss

RACHEL: I'm sorry, it's just things have been crazy lately-I really missed you though(kisses him)

TAG: Hey don't worry about it, how bout we go out to dinner tonight to make up for lost time

RACHEL: That sounds great

(they both continue to work)

Mon and Chan's

PHOEBEE: Hey guys(sits in a chair and begins licking a tootsie roll pop and counting out loud)

CHANDLER: Ok, I have to ask-what on earth are you doing

PHOEBEE: I'm seeing how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop

MONICA: well how many

PHOEBEE: well i'll tell ya that owl was totally off, cause it's sure not three

CHANDLER: How many so far

PHOEBEE: well my first few it took about 20-22 licks, but I want more consistency

MONICA: exactly how many of those have you had Pheebs?

PHOEBEE: this is my 16th no um 17th no wait I dropped one so yeah 16

MONICA: wow, that's a lot of licking(sees that Chandler is about to make a smart ass comment) Shut up Chandler

MONICA: So um Pheebs, how long is this experiment going to go on?

PHOEBEE: Til I figure out how many licks and get consistent, factual results

MONICA: Ok, just don't get any sucker on my floor

(Rachel enters)

RACHEL: (she's dressed for her date with Tag) Hey Mon, can I borrow your strappy black shoes

MONICA: Why not just wear your own strappy black shoes

RACHEL: Cause the strappy part broke on mine and I can't wear regular heels or slides cause they wont go with this dress

MONICA: Fine, they're in my closet

RACHEL: Thanks Mon

MONICA: so what do you and Tag have planned?

RACHEL: Oh, we're going to do dinner and a movie, then prob some talking

CHANDLER: Is that the new code word???

RACHEL: FOr your information, Chandler Bing, we have a lot of catching up to do

CHANDLER: so you're just going to talk

RACHEL: Oh we'll prob do other stuff too

MONICA: well you have a good time Rach

RACHEL: I will, I've been looking foreward to this all day(leaves)

MONICA: Have you guys noticed anything different about Rachel?

CHANDLER: You mean her constant hyperness and mood swings

MONICA: Exactly!! It's like she's either in a really bad mood or totally happy

PHOEBEE: I wouldnt worry about it guys, I think it just came from being stressed about work, I have a feeling things will be going back to normal now

MONICA: I hope so

Tag's apt

RACHEL: Tag, Tag are you home??

(the front door is open and there is a light on in his bedroom, Rach is actually about 15 min early for the date but decides to surprise him)

RACHEL:(pushes open the bedroom door) Tag, Tag, what the... oh my god(sees him in bed with a women)

TAG: Rachel wait, I can explain

RACHEL: (Crying) oh I can't wait to hear this one, yeah I just love hearing the reasons why every man I have ever loved has cheated on me. I mean what is it, is there some flashing sign above my head saying please hurt me, please break my heart

TAG: Rachel I(touches her arm)

RACHEL: Don't touch me, just stay the hell away from me, I dont' ever want to see you again. I just want to know how long

TAG: about three weeks, I met Amoreena on the plane

RACHEL: So that's why you extended your little vacation

TAG: (sheepishly) Yes, Rachel you don't know how sorry I am

RACHEL: and you dont know how much I don't care(slams the door and leaves)

Mon and Chan's(Pheebs is still there conducting her experiment and the three of them are talking)

RACHEL:(storms in the door, her face is streaked with tears-she throws the shoes at Monica) Here are your stupid shoes

CHANDLER: remind me never to lend you any of my stuff

MONICA: Rach(gets up and puts her arm around her) what's wrong

RACHEL: Oh nothing, nothing except the fact that Tag is a low life scum like every other man, I have ever dated.

CHANDLER: what the hell did he do that was so bad

RACHEL: I caught him in bed with another women, is that bad enough for you, Chandler

CHANDLER: Rach,I'm sorry

RACHEL: Yeah well sorry doesn't change the fact that he's the first man i've cared about in 4yrs and he had to hurt me just like all the others. Is it my fault? Am I not good enough or something, do I not deserve to be happy

MONICA: Of course you deserve to be happy sweetie, you just keep running into bad luck(her and Phoebee both hug Rachel as she begins to sob)

It's now Friday night and everyone is out to dinner at the restaraunt

MONICA: Ok Ross, Allegory

ROSS: A figurative sentence in which the main subject is described by another subject resembling it

JOEY: Oooh I got one, Axe

CHANDLER: oooh(imitating Joey) way to stump him Joe

ROSS: A sharp tool

CHANDLER: Atepenultimate

ROSS: Coming next to last in a series

MONICA: Ailrus

ROSS: a lesser species of panda

MONICA: aldose

ROSS: a polysachrid sugar

MONICA: Ha! Wrong it's monosachrid-you are soo wrong. You couldn't memorize the A"s, I said you wouldn't be able too, I was right and you were wrong

CHANDLER: So Monica, are you telling us you were right

ROSS: oh who cares, it was a dumb game anyway

MONICA: You're just upset because you lost

ROSS: Yeah, well I bet you couldnt do any better

MONICA: How much

ROSS: five dollars

MONICA: You are so on

ROSS: Ok, alytes

MONICA: a type of florescent bulb

ROSS: Ha,ha, ha-nope it's a midwife toad

MONICA: oh that was so unfair, I didnt' even have time to study-I demand a rematch


ROSS: (grabs Monica's purse and takes out five dollars) Thanks Mon

JOEY: Can we please talk about something else, anything else

MONICA: so how are you doing Rach, are you ok

RACHEL: Oh you mean besides the fact that I have fifty zillion things to do at work and my assistant and ex boyfriend slept with another women-I'm fine

ROSS: So Rach, are you sure the two of you weren't on a break

RACHEL:(glares at Ross) where is that waiter with the wine

MONICA: Rach, you've had 4 glasses already

RACHEL: Yeah and your point is

MONICA: nothing, just that you're almost to a half dozen, and wouldn't it be great if you could win a prize

RACHEL: Yeah great(downs a glass of one in one gulp) Ya know what, i'm not in a very eating out sort of mood, I'm just going to go home


Rach and Joey's(Rach is pretty buzzed-she took a cab home by the way) she goes inside and falls to her knees and begins rumaging thru her purse. She takes a handful of pills and drinks them down with a bottle of Jack Daniels. She stands up and is very shaky, she reaches out and collapses against the wall to steady herself and places her hand by her heart(which is beating very fast) she walks towards the bedroom and begins to sway then passes out on the floor in front of the doorway

(It's about 15 min later-everyone else came home cause they were almost done eating anyway-and they were worried about Rach

MON(From the hallway outside her apt)alright Joey, you check on Rach and then come over and let us know how she is doing. We're going to play monopoly so try to get her to come join us

JOEY:(opens the door and sees her on the floor-screams) Oh god, Rach, Rach, Rachel wake up, Rachel

MONICA:(runs into the apt) Rachel... begins feeling for a pulse and shaking her to try to wake her up

CHANDLER: what the hell could have happened, she only had 4 glasses of wine, yeah she was a little drunk, but we've all seen her drink more than that

MONICA: I don't know Chandler, do I look like a flannin doctor

JOEY:(notices the bottle of pills) hey, what are these

MONICA:(grabs the bottle) if she took these, she is in real trouble, we have to call an ambulance right now

ROSS:Already taken care of

PHOEBEE:(kind of to herself but loud enough to be heard) She promised she'd stop

JOEY: stop what, Pheebs

PHOEBEE:(crying) she promised she'd stop taking the pills,I caught her with them a few weeks ago and she promised she would stop

MONICA:(yelling) you knew she had those pills and you didnt say anything-how stupid are you

PHOEBEE: Don't call me stupid, she promised me, she promised she'd stop

CHANDLER: You guys, arguing and blaming each other isn't going to help Rach

MONICA: He's right, i'm sorry Pheebs

PHOEBEE: I'm sorry too(they hug)


MONICA: Is she going to be ok

DOCTOR: I won't lie to you, it's hard to say. She took a signifigant amount of pills, and also had sleeping pills still in her system, that combined with the alcohol put a substancial amount of strain on her heart-whether she will wake up or not is hard to say.

JOEY: can we see her

DR: I'm sorry only immediate family is allowed rigth now-why don't you go home and rest, and i'll call the minute anything changes

ROSS: You guys go on home, i'm staying

MONICA: Ross,you heard the doctor we can't see her

ROSS: No, you cant see her, I"m her ex husband, I can see her

(everyone else leaves and Ross goes into her room)

ROSS:(he sits down by the bed and begins stroking her hand) Rach, I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I just wantd to say that i'm so sorry about what I said at dinner, I was only joking. I don't know why Tag did that too you, if I knew why he did it to you, id be able to explain my own stupid behavior years ago. You were and still are the best thing that ever happned to me. Having you in my life has made me so happy and so complete. I'm thankful each and every day that we have mangaed to get thru the past and become better friends. You're my best friend Rach and my one regret is that we broke up(he continues holding her hand and watching her breathe-then slowly starts to drift off to sleep)

(about 15 min later)

RACHEL: (she begins groaning and stirring) Ross, Ross where Am I

ROSS: Rach, oh Rachel(hugs her) You're in the hosp, do you remember what happened

RACHEL: sort of, I remember the restaraunt and going home, then....

ROSS: Rachel, you took a bunch of pills and almost had an overdose

RACHEL:(begins to cry) I'm so stupid, oh god, I... I can't...

ROSS:(Puts his arms around her) it's ok Rach, it's ok I'm here and you're not stupid, you are just going thru a bad time and you're upset,will you be ok for a minute, I want to call the others

RACHEL: Yeah, i'll be fine

ROSS:(sits back down next to Rachel) the others will be here soon

RACHEL: Ross, did you mean what you said, about wishing we were still together

ROSS:(shocked) you heard that

RACHEL: Yeah, it was weird, I couldnt talk or move but I could hear everything you said

ROSS: of course I meant it, you mean the world to me Rachel Karen Green

RACHEL: Ross, I've always wished it too, that we'd never broken up I mean

ROSS: well there's always time for new beginnings

RACHEL: do you mean it Ross?

ROSS: of course I do, and this time no jealousy, no copy shop girls, no letters and no lists

(they kiss and break it off as they hear the others arrive

MONICA:(hugs Rachel) Thank God you are alright. Now what the hell were you thinking, do you realize you scared the crap out of me

RACHEL: I know and i'm sorry-It's just I was so stressed with work and it seemed like everyone was so happy and had so much going on in their lives and I had nothing, then when I caught Tag with that girl I just snapped

CHANDLER: Rach, we will always have time for you, we're your friends

RACHEL: I know, and I love you all so much. I also have some news

JOEY: what, what, what

RACHEL: well, Ross and I are sort of back together

EVERYONE: congrats, way to go, yay for the lobsters etc...

CHANDLER: Say Pheebs, did you ever figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie roll pop

PHOEBEE: No, cause some it took 21 but then others it was 22, I just couldnt get consistent numbers

MONICA: why not call it 21.5

PHOEBEE:Yeah, I like that, what do you say guys, 21.5 sound good(takes out a bag of Tootsie roll pops from her purse and hands one to everyone-they all begin licking and counting)

THE END!!!!!