FRIENDS is owned by Kauffman, Bright and Krane. I do not work for them, This is just a fan fic written for fun, I am not planning to make any money off of this at all
This takes place during season six, when Chandler has moved in with Monica and Phoebe and Rachel are roommates
Opening scene: Everyone is sitting and talking at Central Perk.
CHANDLER: God, sometimes I get so tired of going to work and doing the same thing day after day, I just wish I could be more well you know spontaneous
MONICA: I understand what you mean honey(leans over and rubs his arm and cuddles next to him) but face it, we all have to work
JOEY: You know man when I start thinking life isn't fair I remember these wise words. Sometimes you just gotta take the good, you gotta take the bad, you have to take them both until you have
CHANDLER:(interrupts) The Facts of Life?? Thank you Mrs. Garrett
(everyone else laughs)
RACHEL: Mrs Garrett, you know from The Facts of Life
PHOEBE: Yeah, you know that show where those girls were at the boarding school and they learned about life during each weeks well written and touching episode. Whoah, I should be like a TV Guide writer cause damn I am good at this
JOEY: Boarding school huh? girls huh? So umm did they ever umm well you know, get together (everyone just looks at Joey for a second then resumes their various conversations)
The gang is still in CP and is continuing their convo from earlier
RACHEL: I have to agree about this whole needing to be sponaneous thing. I have not done anything exciting in so long, do you realize it has been months since i've had a date
JOEY: Are you looking for a date Rach? Cause my friend Kyle broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago and I know he's looking for someone to date
RACHEL: Joey, that would be soooo great(runs over and hugs him) Thank you
JOEY: Don't mention it, I'll give him your number and have him give you a call, i've known him since I was a kid back in Brooklyn, he's a real nice guy (during this Ross looks over at Rachel with a sad expression on his face)
RACHEL: Joey, if he is a friend of yours then i'm sure i'll like him
PHOEBE: (jumping up) Oh my god, Rach look at the time we've gotta get to the park or we'll miss the Flower Lady
RACH: Oh my gosh your're right Pheebs, come on lets go(grabs Phoebe by the arm and starts to pull her towards the exit)
CHANDLER: Hold up! Who the heck is the flower lady
PHOEBE: Oh she is this nice lady that stands in the park and hands out flowers to people who walk by, whenever Rachel and I run, we get flowers. But we have to be there by 4 or all the good ones will be gone(with this her and Rachel run for the door)
PHOEBE and RACHEL: Bye Guys
MONICA: So, Joey who is this friend of yours and why have we not heard of him before this
JOEY: Kyle? Oh he is great. We were friends when we were kids and spent all our time together growing up He's been in CA for the past few years, he was dating this girl there named Gina, in fact they were even engaged for about 6 months. But, she sorta umm well did the horizontal mambo with another man After that, he came back here to NY. He told me the other day, that he is finally ready to start dating again
ROSS: So, Joe? what is this guy like?
JOEY: Oh you guys, he is the greatest. He is so much fun and just a great guy, Rach is gonna love him
MONICA: What was that Ross?
ROSS: Oh nothing. (looks at his watch) Oh my look at the time, I have to run and ummm, ah go organize some papers.(he leaves)
CHANDLER: I think somebody is a little jealous
JOEY:(with a confused expression) Who??
CHANDLER:Bo Bo the Circus Midget, I'm talking about Ross you idiot
JOEY: Oh, well Ross is always jealous of Rachel's dates
(convo continues as the scene fades out)
Monica and Chandler's Apt(Chandler, Ross and Monica are there)
MONICA: So, Ross what do you think I should cook for dinner tonight? Wait I know, how about lobster(Chandler and her both begin doing the lobster hand motions)
ROSS: Ha, Ha, Ha very funny. You know I don't belive in that
CHANDLER: Yeah, then answer me this, why do you turn into the human questioning machine whenever Rachel has a date or even talks about another man?
MONICA: Yeah really, it's kind of annoying Ross. (Mimics him) What is that guy like? what kind of job does he have? How do you know Rachel will like him?
ROSS: Ok, let me say.... Shut up
CHANDLER: Yes, Mr Dinosaur Man
(ducks as Ross throws a towel at him) Just then Phoebe and Rachel come thru the door R/P: Hi Guys(the both have purple flowers postitioned over their ears)
ROSS:(goes over and stands next to Rachel) So, is this from the flower lady?
RACHEL: Oh yeah, do you like it
ROSS: Of course(he takes her coat and hangs it up for her)
(Chandler and Monica look at each other and do the hand movements for Lobsters)
PHOEBE: ooh, ooh oooh are you communicating with aliens, cause I really like aliens,
MONICA: (giving Phoebe a weird look) noooo Phoebe that is the lobster sign, Ross wont admit it but he is still lobstery with Rachel
CHANDLER: Umm Monica dear, you do know that lobstery is not a word right
MONICA: Reallly, ya don't say(sarcastically)
PHOEBE: Oh, Oh I feel a song, yes it is a sea song, cause lobsters are in the sea
PHOEBE:(sings) lobsters, mollusks, clams and fish, swimming in the sea. I had a fish one, I named him Fred, but now Fred is dead. Oh beware sea creatures don't wind up like Fred, it is not fun to be dead, la, la, la, la
ALL: Great Song Phoebe, good job, I really liked it etc etc....
(as they say this, they all look at each other with "can you belive that" looks)
Phoe and Rach's apt
Rach: Pheebs, help me decide what to wear tonight on my date
(holds up a red dress and a black one)
Phoebe: Well, red is the color of seduction oh and fire helmets of course. But black is sophisicated
Rachel: So which one???
Phoebe: Well, I say the black, cause seduction without sophistication is just well, you know blecch
Rachel: Thanks Pheebs(runs into her room to change)
-Phoebe goes over to the coach and starts writing down new song lyrics
Rachel appears in the black dress, tasteful silver earrings and silver slingback pumps
Phoebe: See, I told you sophisticted was the way to go
Rachel: Visibly nervous, ooh, ooh that's him, that's him
Phoebee: Rach, calm down, having a heart attack on your first date, will most definitly not make a good impression
(Rachel opens the door to reveal Kyle) He is very cute and is played by Ben Affleck. He is dressed in a rugged yet classy style
Kyle: Wow, you're even more beautiful than Joey said, I can't wait to get this date started
(he is a complete charmer, the type if guy who can lie thru his teeth and Phoebe is enthralled by him she thinks he is the perfect gentleman and date for Rachel)
(Rachel and Kyle leave for their date) Fade out
Chandler and Monica's
Joey is in their apt and is on the phone
Joey: Yes, Videos R Us, I was wondering if you by chance had any episodes of the Show Facts of Life on Tape? No? Well what the hell kind of a video store are you?
Chandler:(looks up from where he is sitting on the couch next to Monica-she is leaned against him snuggled in his arm and he is braiding her hair) Having problems Joe??
Joey: Yes, no stupid video store in this stupid city has Facts of Life, dude I want to see that show, I want to see the hot boarding school girls, Hey Chandler could you post an ad for me on one of those internet want ad places??? could ya, could ya, huh, huh huh(while saying this he runs over and grabs Chandler around the neck and bounces up and down)
-Chandler turns around and raises his hand, to pretend like he is going to slap Joey, joey screams and ducks down behind the coach
Chandler: Fine, if it will make you shut up for five seconds I will post the ad
Joey: Thanks Chandler, just tell um that I want to see an episode and to send a tape to me, I'll even pay 20 dollars for it
Chandler: You don't have twenty dollars
Joey: Yeah, I do, I took it from your billfold
Chandler: Joe, did you ever think maybe I needed that money?
Joe: What for, if you needed it it wouldnt have been sitting in there
Chandler:(rolls his eyes in disbelief and goes over to the computer to type up the ad)
-while doing so Monica has moved off the couch and sits on his lap while he types. Chandler types a couple letters then kisses Monica, types a little more, kisses etc...
_Rachel and Kyle outside his place after the date
Rachel: Wow, that was a great meal, I mean you didn't need to spent that much on me Are you sure I couldnt' have at least paid for dessert
Kyle: No, it is totally on me. Would you like to come inside?
Rachel: Well, maybe for a while, I have to be at work early tommorow though to go through a new shipment of clothes so I cant' stay too long
-they enter the apt and Kyle shows her around for awhile and they end up in the bedroom
Kyle: (points to his bed) here sit down. (he sits down next to Rachel and begins to massage her back and shoulders and one thing leads to another til he is kissing here, he then begisn doing more than kissing and pushes her forcefully down on the bed)
Rachel: (struggles to get up,but Kyle is very strong and has her pinned to the bed) Kyle, Um I think you're going just a wee bit too fast, I mean you have great cologne but I want to smell it a little bit at a time, not all at once(she is clearly very scared but is trying to joke her way out of the situation, without making Kyle angry)-
-She tries to sit up and Kyle thows her down on the bed
-she finally uses all her strength and manages to get away from him, as she is running out of the room he grabs her by the arm throws her against the wall and slaps her. He then begins rambling about his ex fiancee
Kyle: You stupid women are all the same, horny little sluts. The day Gina left me for that man, I vowed I would get revenge. I vowed I would never love another women or trust one, i'd make them pay for their evil ways. I can't do anythign to her, since she's all the way in CA, but you are just as bad as her, and I will make you pay.
(he lunges at her again and she instinctivly picks up a vase and throws it at him. It crashes into the wall behind him and he is temporaily startled giving her a chance to run out of the apt
-she is very visibly upset, shaking, crying etc....
The next day, Chandler and Monica's everyone excpet Rachel is there
Rachel:(she is in denial and trying to act as if nothing has happend, and is acting normally) Hi guys
Joey: You know Rach, if you didn't like Kyle you coud have just said so, you didn't need to be such a jerk to him
(rachel looks at Joey dumbfounded) Phoebee: Really, Rach I mean hello, did you really need to insult the guys clothes and his family
Joey: I thought we were friends Rachel, that's why I told Kyle about you. He is one of my oldest friends and I thought maybe you two could hit it off, or if nothing else maybe become friends. What is up with insulting his family and background, what are those of us that grew up in Brooklyn not good enough for you, am I not good enough for you? (he is growing increasingly angry throuhout this exchange and by the last line is yelling)
Rachel: Joey, I never said any of those things, you have it totally wrong, Kyle is the one who was a jerk, he is the one who
Joey: Save it Rachel, we all know how much of a bitch you can be, you and your spoiled, me, me, me attitude, I don't want to hear any more excuses
-she looks at the rest of the group and they are all glaring at her with looks of pure hatred
Monica: You know, I think it would be best if you just got out
Chandler: Preferably for a long long time, you went too far this time, all Joey wanted to do was help you and look at how you thank him
-Rachel looks at the group like she is about to say something to stick up for herself but realizes that it wont make a difference, so she turns to leave, with tears running down her face, as she does so she looks right into Ross's eyes. He meets her gaze and sees how upset, hurt and confused she is and holds her gaze for a moment(one of those classic R and R looks)
She leaves the room and closes the door behind her then collapses in the hallway in tears. The rest of the gang is left sitting with shocked looks on their faces, wondering, is this really the end of the group
END(part one, more to come soon)
will Joey ever see a facts of life episode(and see Jo, the best member of the show)
Will Rachel convince the others that she is not lying and did not do anything
What will Kyle do next(will he do anything else)
Will Monica and Chandler christian the freshly waxed kitchen floor
Will Phoebee create a new song?
stay tuned to find out the answers to these and other pressing issues!!!!! in TOW The Trust