By Alyssa Vergara(a.k.a. Joya_Preciosa)

I am in no way associated with NBC or their sitcom FRIENDS.

This is the fanfic that supposedly takes place after ďThe One With The Napkins.ĒSuggestions for new fanfic and feedback are welcome!Joya_Preciosa@hotmail.com

 

THE ONE WITH THE RED TIE

 

SCENE A:

(Itís the guysí place.Chandlerís watching TV in his leather chair.The TVís showing commercials.)

JOEY:(Joey enters.)Hey, what you watching?

CHANDLER:Baywatch, it should come back on after about Ĺ a minute.No wait, no its 20 seconds, 15, ah forget it!Wanna join me?

JOEY: Nah!(He begins to walk to his room.)

CHANDLER:(Baywatch comes back on but he turns the TV off and stares at Joey, shocked but keeping his wit!)You, you donít want to watch Baywatch?

JOEY:Nah, I just donít feel like it.

CHANDLER:Why-wha-wha-wha-why?You were watching it this morning after that Cindy girl left!What happened at work, a threesome?

JOEY:Nothing happened at work, I just donít feel like looking at girls and sex right now, OK?

CHANDLER:(Takes a good look at Joey.)Youíre not Joey- are you?

JOEY:Yeah, I am!And if something happened at work, even though nothing did, maybe you should just back off man!Do we always have to tell each other everything?

CHANDLER:OK, either youíre lying to me- and doing a poor job of covering it up, or youíre not Joey!

JOEY:Dude Iím telling you I am!

CHANDLER:OK, are you his gay identical twin?

JOEY:You donít have to be gay to not want to watch Baywatch- well maybe Ross but heís not gay!

CHANDLER:(Suspicious.)I really think we should look into that.

JOEY:Wha-what do you mean?

CHANDLER:Havenít you guys been spending some more time together than usual?Whatís all that about?

JOEY:(Defensive.) What, we just been playing a little tennis and some basketball?(Looks frightened for a second and then grabs the remote from Chandlerís hand, turning the TV on.)OK, weíre watching Baywatch!

OPENING CREDITS

SCENE B:

{Itís Central Perk.Joeyís on the left chair and Rachelís on the right.Chandler, Ross, Phoebe, and Monica are sitting on the couch, (from left to right.)Chandler and Monica look uneasy and are staring at the ground.}

PHOEBE:Iím telling you, Kristen is great Chandler.I mean sheís pretty and sheís smart.You should definitely go out with her.Itís about time you moved on.

JOEY:You canít just keep putting it off.

CHANDLER:(Still staring down.)Iím not putting it off- Iím, Iím recovering.And- (Now defensive he looks up at Joey.)Hey I donít see what you two are talking about!You obviously canít get the situation because I usually donít see you guys in a relationship that lasts longer than a week!(Turns to Phoebe and then sees Monica, who looks up at the exact same time.Embarrassed and awkward, they both return to staring at the ground.)

PHOEBE:I have too had serious relationships, for your information!

CHANDLER:(Turns to Phoebe.)Thatís just because youíre female.You have that uh- gene thatíll bother you at least once every year to have a so-called ďseriousĒ relationship.But let me tell you something Phoebs, without that gene, youíre regular Joey.(Notices Monica and she lifts he head up at the exact same moment again.They both return their eyes to the very fascinating . . . floor.)De-javu.

PHOEBE:(Offended.)Hey!

JOEY:Relax, Phoebs, itís a compliment.

ROSS:Hey, cut the guy some slack OK?It takes time to get over a break up.

PHOEBE:Oh what do you know?

JOEY:Sheís right man.Youíre never involved in anything unless itís a serious relationship.And when it ends you mope around for like a year!

CHANDLER:(Thoughtfully.)Maybe I should reconsider.

PHOEBE:Of course!Rachel donít you think it would be cool for me to set him up?

RACHEL:Yeah, yeah itís great.Kristenís great.But, do you happen to know a guy named Christian because I would like a date too?

ROSS:What happened to Jamie?

RACHEL:Itís Joshua!Joshua!And- heís not interested.

ROSS:(Happy but covering it up poorly.)Too bad

(Rachel gives Ross a dirty look.)

PHOEBE:OK people can we get back to the subject here?Monica what do you think?

MONICA:(Looks up and towards Phoebe and begins to babble nervously.)Think, think?Iím not thinking about anything, nothing.What makes you think that I would even think about something?

PHOEBE:What?

MONICA:What?

PHOEBE:OK . . . Um, Monica, donít you think I should set up Chandler with my friend Kristen?

MONICA:Yes, of course.Thatís fine.(Looks down at her hands again.)

RACHEL:(Saying aloud after looking thoughtful since Ross last spoke.)I mean why isnít he interested.

CHANDLER/ROSS/PHOEBE/JOEY/MONICA:(In unison.)What?

RACHEL:You guys are so self-involved!

ROSS:(To Joey.)Hey, you want to play some tennis later?

CHANDLER:(Looks up.Heís suddenly wears and interested yet mischievous look on his face.)

JOEY:(Glancing at Chandler nervously.)You-you know what man?I think Iím gonna pass!

ROSS:Why?Weíve been practicing every day for like two weeks now.

JOEY:I have a date- with-with a girl.You know a female- (loudly) and sheís hot!

ROSS:(Gives Joey a weird look.)Itís noon.

JOEY:So?

ROSS:Well, call me crazy but I think a more romantic time setting for a date is evening, you know dinner?

JOEY:(Scared.)Why are you saying that to me?

CHANDLER:(Amused.)

SCENE C:

(Itís the Bloomingdaleís personal shopping department and Rachelís sitting at the desk reading a book titled:How to Catch A Crush.)

JOSHUA:(Enters.)Hey Rachel!

RACHEL:Oh hi!You didnít tell me you were coming!(Glances worryingly sideways to see her reflection in the mirror.)(Looking back at Joshua, she says: )What can I do for you today?

JOSHUA:Ties.

RACHEL:Ties?

JOSHUA:Three to be exact.

RACHEL:Well thatís a good number!

JOSHUA:Yeah, my new girlfriend, sheís always telling me how I need better ties, so I uh- thought Iíd stop by.

RACHEL:Your new girlfriend?!What does she look like, howís her personality, how serious is it, and when did this happen?(Suddenly realizes what she said and embarrassed says: )Iím sorry, I uh, tend to get a little nosy.

JOSHUA:No itís all right.Sheís about 5í7, fairly thin, black curly hair with hazel eyes, sheís really nice, itís not that serious, and about two days ago.

RACHEL:(Smiling.)Not that serious huh?

JOSHUA:No, sheís pretty and sheís really nice but it isnít going to go anywhere.I guess itís all just a part of my on-the-rebound thing.Sheís just a fling and Iím pretty sure thatís what I am to her.

RACHEL:(Skeptical.)Wow, so you, you have a lot of flings?

JOSHUA:Not really. I try to keep myself away from all those male stereotypes but I think that after a divorce Iím allowed to have at least one fling.Maybe the transition will prepare me for serious dating again.

RACHEL:(Satisfied and happy.)Well, in that case Iím all for it.

JOSHUA:Really, you donít find it uh - typical male?

RACHEL:No, no, no, no, no!I mean whatever it takes to get you back to me-err sorry your life, is good for you!

JOSHUA:Well thanks for the support.

RACHEL:Oh, youíre welcome!So what type of ties does this . . . fling like?

JOSHUA:Her favorite color is blue.

RACHEL:Yeah, but uh, mineís red - in ties - and I think a red tie would look better.With suits, casual and formal, itís the way to go.Iím sure sheíll agree.

JOSHUA:Whatever you say.Youíre the boss.

RACHEL:Of course!(She turns and says to herself under her breath: ) And itís gonna stay that way.

SCENE D:

(Itís Monica and Rachelís apartment.The time is around seven p.m.Monica and Phoebe are talking at the table and Chandlerís watching TV.Rachel enters carrying some shopping bags.)

PHOEBE:So then Jeremy was all like, ďWhat am I going to do, weíre out of bandages?!Ē

RACHEL:Whoís Jeremy.

MONICA:A U.S. medic in World War II that Phoebe has contacted through tarot cards and sťances.

RACHEL:Tarot cards, ooo, Phoebe, that sounds a little scary.

PHOEBE:Not when youíre talking to history!

RACHEL:So Phoebs, you up for some dinner or something?Iíve got a lot of stuff to spill and Iím desperately seeking some advice.

(Monica glances at Chandler and looks worried.We also see a shot of Chandlerís body and his expression stiffening.)

PHOEBE:OK, but do you um, know anything about medical care?I could use some advice on that to give to Jeremy.

RACHEL:Well, Iíll try.Letís go eat.

PHOEBE:(Gets up.)

MONICA:(Gets up.)Guys, guys, why donít you eat here?I mean itíll cost less.

RACHEL:Mon, we havenít been to the grocery store yet.We hardly have anything!

MONICA:Now thatís not true.We have some cereal.How about some Captain Crunch?

PHOEBE:(Stares at Monica for a moment.)Come on Rach, letís go.She makes her way out the door.)

RACHEL:OK.(She exits.)

MONICA:(Doesnít turn around.)Well, I um guess weíre alone now.

CHANDLER:(Doesnít turn around either.)Yes, we sure are.

MONICA:Because, they um- left.

CHANDLER:Maybe I should go too.

MONICA:Maybe.

CHANDLER:(Slowly gets up and turns around but keeps his head down.He looks up at the exact same moment that Monica turns around and faces him.)Dammit!(He covers his eyes.)

MONICA:I know!(She looks down.)This is so ridiculous, why canít we look at each other?Why is it so awkward?

CHANDLER:I donít know!

MONICA:Is this how itís going to be from now on?I mean because of this stupid mistake weíll never be able to look each other in the face again?Be friends again?

CHANDLER:I donít know- I wish I could just- just take it back.

MONICA:Me too.How could something so silly lead to a situation like this?

CHANDLER:Why do you keep asking questions that I canít answer?

MONICA:OK, look.Thereís only one way to get through this.Weíre just going to have to look at each other.

CHANDLER:Really?

MONICA:Yes, itís like the first step so fixing the problem.So on the count of three both of us just look up.Ready?

CHANDLER:Ready.

MONICA:1 . . .2 . . . 3.

(Neither looks up.)

MONICA/CHANDLER:(Together.)Dammit!

CHANDLER:I really should go.

MONICA:No, no Chandler!If you go then it will just build up and eventually the other guys are going to notice that we canít look at each other!Theyíre probably already suspicious.

CHANDLER:So what do you think we should do then?

MONICA:I donít know.This whole thing wouldnít have happened if you hadnít-

CHANDLER:(Looks up and cuts Monica off.)If I hadnít what!You agreed to that kiss just as much as it did.

MONICA:(Looks up.)Well I didnít start it.

CHANDLER:(Takes a step closer, heís angrier.)Well you couldíve.If I hadnít you wouldíve.The attraction was mutual.

MONICA:How the hell do you know that the attraction was mutual?

CHANDLER:Because I stopped the kiss!If I hadnít done that who knows what couldíve happened?!

MONICA:(Takes a step forward.)Hey you made the first move, OK!And why did you do it?

CHANDLER:(Takes a step forward.)I donít know OK?I was depressed about Kathy and you were there being a little too supportive if I do say so myself.

MONICA:Too supportive?You think I was hitting on you or something?Youíve got a lot of ego for a guy whose girlfriend just cheated on him.

CHANDLER:(Hurt and angry.)That was really low Monica.

MONICA:(Regretful.)I know, Iím sorry.

(An awkward pause.)

MONICA:(Realizing.)Hey, weíre looking at each other!

CHANDLER:Well hey . . . look at that!

MONICA:(Trying to sound convincing.)See this wasnít such a big deal.

CHANDLER: (Softer.)No, not at all.

(In case you didnít notice all those ďstep forwardĒ things from before- Chandler and Monica are pretty close now.)

(Chandler brushes Monicaís hair over to the side of her forehead and moves a bit closer.Monica wraps her right arm around Chandlerís waist and Chandler wraps both of his arms around Monicaís waist.Monica moves her left hand through Chandlerís hair and they kiss.Slightly passionate.Then Chandler pulls Monica even closer and kisses her harder.Monica breaks away.)

CHANDLER:(His hand over his forehead.)Whatís wrong?

MONICA:Do you have any idea how much this could screw up our friendship?

CHANDLER:Well we canít just ignore it.

MONICA:I know, but what are we going to do?How could this have happened?(Begins to walk around the apartment.)I mean, I never in a million years thought this would happen!(Sheís standing in front of the TV now.)

CHANDLER:Well that makes me feel better.

MONICA:(Looks straight at Chandler.)I need some time to think.

CHANDLER:And after that time?

MONICA:I donít know, but I think you should go.

CHANDLER:Thatís fine.Iíll go.(He exits.)

SCENE E:

(Itís the guysí apartment.Ross and Joey are both sitting in the leather chairs watching a Knicks game.)

JOEY:(Stares at Ross, nervous.)

ROSS:(Senses Joeyís staring at him and looks at Joey.)

JOEY: (Immediately turns his head.)

ROSS:All right!(He turns the TV off with the remote.)

JOEY:Dude, what are you doing?Itís the Knicks game!

ROSS:You havenít even been paying attention!And you keep giving me this really weird look!

JOEY:First of all, Iím not looking at you.Second of all, if Iím not looking at you Iím looking at the TV, and if Iím looking at the TV it means Iím watching the game.

ROSS:Oh yeah, whatís the score?

JOEY:(Opens his mouth to say something, pauses for a moment and looks embarrassed.Then says: )Who cares about the score?!

ROSS:(Gives Joey a weird look.)It shows if the Knicks are winning or not!

JOEY:Well who cares!The point of a game isnít who wins!

ROSS:You are so lucky Monica didnít hear that.

JOEY:Look man, why donít you just mind your own business.You- you and chandler always gotta know every single little detail.(Mimicking Ross and Chandler.)Joey, why arenít you watching basketball?Joey, why arenít you watching Baywatch?

ROSS:Whoa, whoa, whoa!You didnít want to watch Baywatch, how come?

JOEY:(Jumps up.)You see!What are you complaining about anyway, you donít even watch Baywatch?!

ROSS:(Gets up.)Hey, I donít watch Baywatch because Iím not that desperate!

JOEY:You donít have to be desperate to watch it.Iím not desperate, I have plenty of relationships.

ROSS:If that's what youíd call a relationship.Anyways, weíre getting away from the subject.Why didnít you want to watch Baywatch and why were you giving me all those weird looks?

JOEY:(Sighs and sits down.)I had an audition the other day for Baywatch.Some lifeguard named Michael that would appear in two or three episodes.I didnít get it.

ROSS:(Sits down and says sympathetically.)Iím sorry man.

JOEY:And I was giving you weird looks because Chandler said that you were gay and trying to hit on me.

ROSS:He what?!

(Chandler enters.)

CHANDLER:What a crappy day!(He goes over to the fridge and grabs a beer.)

ROSS:(Gets up and walks over to Chandler.)Well itís about to get worse.

CHANDLER:What do you mean man?

JOEY:(Nervously grabs the remote and turns the TV back on.)

ROSS:Joey just told me a little something about you saying I was gay.

CHANDLER:(Looks nervous and then defensive.)It- it was a joke. Joey just took it too seriously.

ROSS:Yes and you just never bothered to clear up the situation.

CHANDLER:(Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bill.)Will a twenty do it?

ROSS:Yeah OK.(Grabs the bill.)

SCENE F:

(Itís the next morning.Rachelís in the kitchen using the blender.This, of course, wakes Monica up.)

MONICA:(Walking out her room wearing a sweats, she goes over to the kitchen.)Wow, youíre up early!

RACHEL:Well I was just so excited about today because Joshuaís going to be coming a little earlier.(She pours some kind of fruit smoothie into a glass.)I just canít wait to show him this tie that I got him. (She points to an expensive-looking red tie inside a decorative cardboard box sitting on the table.)

MONICA:(Lecturing.) What are you doing Rachel, trying to win him over?You bought him a present?

RACHEL:Well, yes and no.Itís not really a present.You see, there was this tie that I knew would look really good on him, but Bloomingdaleís didnít carry it.I had to go to Sax Fifth Avenue to get it.

MONICA:What?

RACHEL:Oh Mon, relax.I bought two outfits for myself as well.

MONICA:Rachel, just ask him out!

RACHEL:OK, I tried that, it didnít work.

MONICA:You werenít being clear on that.He just misunderstood you.If you like him, just ask him out.Otherwise, you go broke and I donít want to be the one paying for everything!

RACHEL:Whatís wrong with you?

MONICA:Nothing, I just- I just had a hard night.(Sits down at the table.)

RACHEL:(Sits down across from Monica.)Why, honey what happened?

MONICA:Well, thereís this guy who Iíve known for awhile and weíve always been friends.And then the other day something happened and now things are just so messed up!(She puts her head in her hands on the table.)

RACHEL:Whoís this guy?How come I never heard about him before?

MONICA:(Looks up.)His nameís um- Eric.Heís just a friend but now that it happened-

RACHEL:(Cutting Monica off.)What happened?

MONICA:We kissed and now itís just Ė weird.

RACHEL:So you guys kissed and now things are weird?Why?

MONICA:Because it would be different if we got together.It would surprise some people, especially me.And what if it didnít work out, I wouldnít want to lose such a good friend?!

RACHEL:Iíd say itís worth the risk.

MONICA:Really?

RACHEL:Definitely.Monica, I donít see you hanging around with this guy all day like you do with us.I mean, he canít be that good of a friend.Heís probably worth the risk.

MONICA:(Sarcastic.)Thanks, that really helps.

RACHEL:(Gets up, not catching the sarcasm.)Youíre welcome.Now if you donít mind, Iíve got to get going.

MONICA:Rachel, your work doesnít start for another hour!

RACHEL:Iím meeting Phoebe for an early morning prediction.Sheís going to tell me whatís going to happen with Joshua today.(Exits.)

MONICA:And I thought I had problems.

SCENE G:

(Itís Phoebeís place, the one we donít see very often!Sheís with Rachel sitting down at her table.)

PHOEBE:(Eyes closed.)Now, I can see Joshua.Wow, he is cute!

RACHEL:I told ya!

PHOEBE:Heís coming closer, oh heís kissing you!

RACHEL:Really?

PHOEBE:No!Youíre so gullible!

RACHEL:Phoebe. . .

PHOEBE:OK, OK.All I know is that this card means rejection.

RACHEL:See now Phoebe, thatís not good.Now thereís no way I can ask him out.

PHOEBE:Calm down Rachel, it could be anything.

RACHEL:Like what?

PHOEBE:Like an ATM rejecting your number, your stomach rejecting some food, or Joshua rejecting that tie.( She points to the elegant red tie inside the decorative cardboard box thatís sitting next to Rachelís hand on the table.)

RACHEL:Whatís wrong with the tie?

PHOEBE:Nothing, itís just, couldnít you have gotten it in blue?

SCENE H:

(Itís the Bloomingdaleís personal shopping department.Rachelís standing there with Joshua.)

JOSHUA:(Adjusting the red tie Rachel got him.)This is a really great tie, how much is it?

RACHEL:Well, we ordered it from Sax so Iíll have to get back to you on that one.For now you can just take it.

JOSHUA:No complaints from me.(Turns to face Rachel.)It looks like Iím going to have get going.

RACHEL:(Disappointed but covering it up.)Sure, of course.Is it to meet that fling of yours?

JOSHUA:No, sheís well, flung.

RACHEL:Really, that quick?

JOSHUA:I guess so.She decide to move to Pennsylvania so it ended a little sooner than I expected.

RACHEL:Wow, so youíre going to be alone tonight.

JOSHUA:Pretty much.

RACHEL:(Embarrassed, she looks down.)Do you want to have dinner with me?

JOSHUA:(Looks at Rachel uncertainly.)You serious?

RACHEL:(Still looking down.)Yeah.

JOSHUA:OK, what time and place?

RACHEL:(Looks up at Joshua happily.)Whatever, I mean whateverís good for you!

JOSHUA:How about Marcelloís Garden, around seven?

RACHEL:That would be great!

JOSHUA:Do you want me to pick you up?

RACHEL:No, no, Iíll take a cab.

JOSHUA:So I guess Iíll see you tonight.

RACHEL: OK!

JOSHUA:(Walks out and waves.)Bye!

RACHEL:Bye!(She turns and squeals happily.)Iíve got a date with Joshua!(She begins to dance a victory dance around the room.You can picture that dance as ridiculous as youíd like.She then turns to see her boss, (Mr. Walthum,) looking at her.)

MR. WALTHUM:If the future, Rachel, could you stop that dancing?A customer could walk in here and believe you were having a seizure.

SCENE I:

(Itís the girlsí apartment.Monicaís now dressed arranging some mugs or whatever that are inside her kitchen cupboards.)

CHANDLER:(Enters.)Hey.

MONICA:(Stops and says quietly: ) Hey.

CHANDLER:Iíve got to get to work in about ten minutes but I thought I should come over here and see whatís going on.

MONICA:Well I thought about it.

CHANDLER:And?

MONICA:I donít think I can just ignore it.

CHANDLER:(Goes over to Monica and manages to kiss her quickly on the mouth before she pulls away.)

MONICA:But I need to know how you feel first.

CHANDLER:What do you mean?

MONICA:If weíre going to risk our friendship for this I need to know you feel about that.

CHANDLER:Still unclear.

MONICA:Do you have doubts, do you think this would be a serious relationship or a fling, are sexually attracted to me but not mentally attracted to me, are you both, do you think we should just tell everyone, are we going to date, and what if we break up?

CHANDLER:I- I donít know.

MONICA:Thatís not good enough.

CHANDLER:Look, I canít just provide the answers.I donít know everything!

MONICA:No, but you could at least tell me what youíre feeling!

CHANDLER:Feeling?Thanks to you Iím feeling confused!

MONICA:Then this isnít going to work.

CHANDLER:OK, Iím leaving now.(He grabs his briefcase and opens the door.)

PHOEBE:(Is standing there when Chandler opens the door.)What were you guys fighting about?I heard shouting.

CHANDLER:Nothing major.

MONICA:Nothing important.

PHOEBE:All right then.(Begins to walk in.)

CHANDLER:(Grabs Phoebeís arm.)Phoebe could you set me up with that girl you were talking about earlier?

PHOEBE:Kristen?

CHANDLER:(Nods.)

PHOEBE:Sure, what made you change your mind?

CHANDLER:(Glares at Monica.)The thought of being alone . . . or in a bad relationship.

MONICA:(Glares at Chandler.)

SCENE J:

(Itís the girlís apartment.Phoebeís at the table and Monicaís chopping carrots in the kitchen.)

RACHEL:(Comes out of her room.)So Phoebe, what do the higher beings have to say about this dress?

PHOEBE:(Closing her eyes and humming.)They say, it brings out your eyes.

RACHEL:Eyes, now thatís interesting.Iím going to put this in the ďmaybeĒ pile.

MONICA:Oh, come on Rachel.Donít you think your being just a little silly?

RACHEL:Hey Phoebe was right about this morning, Iím trusting her for tonight too.

MONICA:What was she so right about?That whole rejection card thing. I didnít get it, he accepted your offer.

RACHEL:Yeah, I didnít get it either until Phoebe explained that the rejection was of him not going on the date with me, therefore making it equal to the accepting of him going on the date with me.See?

Monica:(Giving Rachel a weird look, she says sarcastically: )Yeah, sure.

RACHEL:(Not catching the sarcasm.)I told you so!