TOW The Game Where Someone Wins and Someone Loses..... Usually
[Scene: C&M's, the gang is there watching the news]
Reporter: I'm here live in Vermont, to report to you on this strange new contest, two teams race up this mountain, to a cabin the first one to get there wins 10, 000 and the losers have to dive into the lake by the cabin naked, which I'd imagine is very cold considering it's December, back to you Charlie.
Monica: Pfft! I could win that!
Ross: I know! I'd beat you! (Monica gets look on her face and slowly turns around)
Phoebe: Oh no Ross for the love of god take it back! Take it back!
Ross: Why should I, it's true!
Monica: Just wait and see Ross. I'll be laughing when you're jumping in naked into that lake.
[Scene: Vermont, the gang is there all in outdoorsy clothes, everyone minus Ross and Monica don't look happy. Joey is wearing 5 jackets, he looks giant]
Monica: Okay here is your flag (gives a flag to the guys) and this is ours, first team to put theirs up on the roof of the cabin wins, contest begins now! But first Chandler whatever happens in this contest will not affect our relationship right?
Monica: Good cuz we're gonna kick your asses so bad!
Ross: Hardly, lets go guys (everyone starts)
Monica: Okay, we're gonna be taking those steep trails just ahead of us.
Rachel: Actually I was thinking about taking the easy ones over there.
Monica: Hey do you want to win this or not? Get movin girls!
Rachel: Monica how are we gonna win by taking the steep trails?
Monica: Pheebs why have you been sneezing so much?
Phoebe: Uh well are there maple trees here?
Rachel: This is Vermont of course there are!
Phoebe: Oh well I'm allergic to maple so..that's probably why.
Ross: (the guys have been listening from the woods) Alright guys, did you hear that? Phoebe is allergic to maple. I say we play dirty.
Chandler: I like that's an idea… let's think of all their weaknesses!
Joey: Hey, but they could mess with us too. They could tempt us with sandwiches, vapor rub, or just any of them flashing us.
Ross: Point well seen… we'll just strike first then.
Chandler I say we get Monica first!
Ross: Okay, here's what we do (whispers to the guys)
[Scene: The trail, the girls are walking]
Rachel: Monica you never answered my question how are we gonna win by going on the seep trail?
Monica: Rachel just trust me!
Rachel: Ugh can we please stop?
Monica: Fine but just for a few minuets, I'm gonna go a head and see what it's like over that hill (Monica walks away, Phoebe and Rachel sit down on a log. Joey's head pops up from behind the log, and he reaches over grabs Rachel and Phoebe's packs which are next to the log, before Phoebe and Rachel see him)
[Scene: Monica walks over the top of the hill then gets out her map and looks at it, she looks over to a tree a few yards away and notices three snow balls, she looks troubled, and after a few minuets goes over to the tree and puts the snow balls in a strait line. Something hits her on the head, she looks up and we see that Chandler is sitting up on one of the tree braches, he smiles and waves then throws a clump snow that is about the size of a basketball down at Monica]
[Scene: Where Phoebe and Rachel are sitting, Phoebe is blowing her nose, Rachel is filing her nails, Monica walks back to them]
Monica: Come on lets go!
Rachel: Monica you are covered in snow! What happened to you?
Monica: Nothing! Lets just go!
Rachel: Alright, alright.
Phoebe: Where's our backpacks? (they look around for a few seconds)
Rachel: Here they are (picks them up from behind the log, they start to walk away)
Joey: (Who is hiding behind a tree) (giggles like in TOW Ross Moves In)
[Scene: Somewhere on the trail, the girls walk into a clearing]
Monica: Okay we'll have to stop here for the night
Phoebe: (I'm thinking her nose in pretty stopped up) Whad? But we're nod to the cabin yed
Monica: Duh why do you think your carrying that tent?
Phoebe: I'm carrying a tendt? (Monica takes something out of Phoebe's pack)
Monica: Okay Phoebe you get a dinner started, Rachel you pitch the tent, (takes a miniature hatchet out of her pack) I'll go get some fire wood (goes off into the woods)
Rachel: Oh great, now we're on a camping trip with Lizzie Borden
[Scene: Somewhere else in the woods, Chandler is doing his uh business, the trees start to rustle]
Chandler: Hello? (shrugs, the trees rustle again) Ross, Joey this isn't funny! (they start to move a lot more, he gets scared and starts to run but there's one problem his pants are around his ankles, so he trips and rolls down a hill into a lake)
[Scene: The girls camp, Phoebe is stirring a pan, Rachel is struggling with the tent, it falls down again]
Rachel: Dam it! Monica I cannot put up this thing! (Monica puts down the wood, she picks up the tent and tosses it into the air it lands and is perfectly up) (ya know one of those pop up kinds) (Rachel just glares at her)
Phoebe: Monica whad took you so long?
Monica: I had something I had to do
[Cut to: The guys camp, Ross and Joey are roasting marshmallows, Chandler comes back soaking wet, they laugh at him]
[Scene: The girls camp, they are there having dinner]
Rachel: Ohhh my back is killing me! What'd you put in here Mon, rocks? (she opens her backpack) You did put rocks in here!
Monica: What? (she looks) Oh my god those guys!!!!!
Phoebe: They pud rocks in mined too!!!!!
Monica: First they throw snow at me now this!! That's it we'll have to get back at them again!
[Scene: They guys camp, the girls sneak up to it]
Monica: (they are whispering through out this scene) The fire's out so that mean's they've gone to sleep!
Phoebe: Okay leds get starded!
[Scene: The girls camp the guys sneak up to it]
Joey: Okay they've gone to bed, now lets get started!
[Scene: Thy guys camp, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are pouring honey around the tent (they are whispering)]
Monica: This will attract all the ants in this state so then they'll have to spend the rest of this trip with ants in their tent!
Rachel: This is brilliant Monica!
Monica: I know! (Phoebe slips in some of the honey and falls into the tent it collapses of course)
Phoebe: Oh my god I killed the guys!!!
Monica: What?!?! But if the guys are not here then where could they be?? (they think for a moment)
All: Oh my god!!!!!!!! (they start running back)
[Girls camp: the guys string a bucket of water to the tree branch directly above the girls tent, then pull the string across the front of the tent and tie it to a stump (they are whispering)]
Chandler: Okay when they get up, they'll go out the door and trip over the string and then....get a shower!
Ross: This is great!
Joey: (laughs kind loud)
Joey: Oh sorry (they start to walk away but Ross accidentally sets off the trap and gets soaked)
Joey: (yelling very loud) Nice going Ross!!!!!!
Ross/Chandler: Shut up!!!! (they stay still a second then look at each other)
Chandler: That didn't wake them up? (they go back to the tent and open it, they shine their flashlights in and see three empty sleeping bags)
Joey: Where are they?
All: Oh crap!!!! (they start running back to their camp)
[Scene: We see the girls running, then the guys running they bump into each other]
Ross: Going some where?
Monica: No, what did you do go swimming? (he's wet from the trap)
Monica: What are you laughing at lake boy?
Chandler: I don't know snow girl
Monica: Ya know that rock thing was so lame! Bet it was your idea Ross!
Ross: You wanna play rough fine, before it was just harmless pranks now it's gonna get ugly!
Monica: Bring it on!!! (the two teams walk by each other in disgust)
Rachel (once they're out of an earshot) Monica are you sure this is such a good idea?
Monica: Oh come on they're just bluffing!
Ross: (over where the guys are) They're bluffing, we're gonna beat them easily!
[Montage: Trouble With Boy's by Loreta]
The girls and the guys are running along the trail, the Ross stays behind in one part and waits for the girls as they get closer to him (he's hiding) he pulls back a tree branch and lets go of it, it hits them in the face, he then runs away.
The girls finish crossing a rope bridge over a deep gorge, the guys are right behind them, as the guys start to cross Monica takes out her hatchet and starts cutting the ropes, the guys scramble back as the bridge falls
The guys light a long stick on fire and Joey runs over to where the girls have stopped to eat lunch, the throws the stick on to their supplies then keeps running, the girls jump up and try to stomp out the fire.
The guys are helping each other climb a VERY steep hill, holding onto a rope. They look up and see the girls at the top of the hill, we see from behind as they all lift up their shirts, the guys all let go of the rope in surprise then go tumbling down the hill, they girls wave to them as they fall.
The girls are running along the trail, suddenly Monica and Phoebe are swept up into one of those snare traps and are hanging up side down from two trees, Rachel laughs at them and points and she backs up a little as she's laughing and doesn't see that she's backing into another trap, so she's swept up and hung upside down also.
The guys have stopped to look at the map, there is a bee hive in the tree above them, from a little farther away Phoebe makes a snow ball and throws it at the hive it hits and the bees come out and start attacking the guys, the guys run off trying to get away from the bees Phoebe, Monica and Rachel give each other high fives. Then realize that they are not quite far enough away, so the bees start attacking them too.
(Montage ends with them running away from the bees)
[Scene: Part of the trail the girls are running along Monica is in the lead, Rachel and Phoebe are behind her they look pretty tired]
Phoebe: (her nose is really stopped up) Bmonica!!! I hab to stob.
Rachel: She's right Monica! Do you even know where your going?!
Monica: Of course I do!
Rachel: Well this....this is like impossible!!!! There is no way we can do this!!!
[Scene: Another part of the trail the guys are running along with Ross in the lead]
Chandler: (out of breath) UGH!! (keels over holding is side, Joey and him sit on a rock)
Ross: Guys don't stop!!!
Joey: (out of breath) Ross man there is no way we can do this!!
Chandler: (out of breath) He's right do you have any idea how much Monica works out?! They're probably already at the cabin!
[Scene: where the girls are]
Rachel: They've probably already beat us!
Monica: No way!!! Ross and Chandler hardly ever work out and Joey has a good ten pounds extra weight!
Rachel: But Monica come on!!! Phoebe could be really sick here and I'm just sick and tired of this!!!!! It's cold and boring and tiring and you know I don't like camping!!!
Monica: Come guys we have to do this!!!!! For all woman kind!!!!! They can sense out fear we HAVE to keep going!!!!
[Scene: where the guys are, it's obvious Ross just gave a similar speech]
Chandler: I think I speak for everyone when I say your crazy, let's get the hell out of here!
Joey: Yeah (they get up to leave)
[Scene: where the girls are, Phoebe and Rachel are starting to leave]
Monica: Wait!!!!! Now just think of what's waiting for us, we go to humiliate the guys and well have a nice warm cabin, they said the winners would get whatever they wanted we could have champagne and........Nyquil, whatever!!!!
[Scene: where the guys are]
Ross: Beer, sandwiches, whatever!!!
Joey/Chandler: Alright!!! (they start again)
[Scene: where the girls are]
Rachel/Phoebe: Fine!!!! (they also start again)
[Scene: The guy's tent that night they are in their sleeping bags the order is Chandler then Joey in the middle, then Ross]
Chandler: (Joey squirms around like in TOW All The Boobies) Ya know guys even though it'll probably give me a heart attack this trip is kind of fun I, I mean us...spending sometime together, it's nice and it's good and oh my god you have got to stop that!!!!!
Ross: Yeah Joe what the heak are you doing?
Joey: Well......I'm freezing!!!!!
Chandler: Your wearing 5 jackets!!!
Joey: I know but I'm still cold!!!!
Ross: Okay ya know what the most body heat escapes from your head so here (gives him something) wear my hat.
Joey: Thanks (Joey puts on the hat)
*time laps* Joey is wearing like 3 hats and looks really dumb
Joey: It's not working!!!! (Ross and Chandler look exasperated)
[Scene: The girls are walking along the trail, they come to the guys camp, the guys are drinking coffee out of a thermos]
Ross: Oh look it's a bunch of girls trying beat us men!!!!!!!! (the guys laugh)
Rachel: What are you in third grade?
Monica: Oh yeah?!?! Well umm look who's already up and moving and who's just sitting on they're butts drinking coffee (laughs lightly) come on girls lets leave these umm.....(quotation fingers) "men" alone to their drinks (the girls leave, the guys jump out and start putting away their stuff)
[Scene: The trail, the girls are walking along they come to the top of a hill]
Phoebe: Bmon do...do you think maybe we could take a liddle break?
Monica: No, no not now we can in a while
Rachel: UGH!!!! My feet are killing me!!!!
Phoebe: I think de allergies are gedding worse
Phoebe: Because I'm hallucinating! I see a cabin!
Rachel: No that has nothing to do with the allergies think it's exhaustion because I'm hallucinating a cabin too! (the girls look at each other then down at the cabin) Oh my god!!! This is it!!!! We made it!!!!
Monica: You see I told so!!!!!!
Rachel: I know!!!! (Monica and Rachel hug)
Monica/Rachel: What? (Phoebe points to the other side of the hill, we see the guys)
[Scene: Where the guys are]
Chandler: Look there's the cabin!!! (they see the girl on the other side, both teams look at each other then break into a mad dash toward the cabin.
[Where the girls are]
Monica: (as they run) Quick get the flag out of my backpack!!! (they pull it out without stopping running)
[Where the guys are]
Ross: (with the guys flag) Come on we're almost there!!!!! (both teams reach the cabin) Chandler try to stall them! Joey help me with this ladder so I can get to the roof!
(they pick up a ladder that's on the ground Ross starts climbing up, Chandler runs around to the girls and gabs Monica as she's going in the door, Rachel runs up behind him and jumps onto his back (like she did to Joey in TOW All The Football) Chandler lets go of Monica as he tries to get Rachel off him)
Rachel: Run Monica!!! Run, run, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
(Monica runs inside and up the stair case to the roof, Joey is holding the ladder as Ross climbs up Phoebe runs over and pushes him away the start shoving each other, Ross climbs onto the roof as Monica comes out the door from the inside, (this is all in slow motion and with music in the back ground) they both run toward the place where the flag is suppose to be, Phoebe and Joey stop shoving each other and look up, Ross and Monica are still running, Chandler and Rachel are still struggling but they stop when they notice what's happening on the the roof, Ross and Monica are still running, we see shots off everyone (Phoebe, Chandler, Joey and Rachel) watching intently, Ross and Monica keep running they seem to get to the place where the flag is suppose to be at the same time, Monica lifts the girls flag into the air then drives it in victoriously!)
Phoebe: AHHH!!!!! YAY!!!!!
Rachel: (gets off Chandler's back) YES!!!!!!!!
Monica: (both hands in the air) WOO HOO!!!!! We WON!!!!!!!!!
Rachel/Phoebe: yay,/ go Monica, etc.....
[Scene: The cabin the guys are sitting on the porch looking bummed out, the girls are still celebrating, a van drives up, the people in charge of the contest get out]
The girls: We won, we won, you see our flag is up there!
Man: Yes your flag is up there.....but we got reports that you guys were playing tricks on each other during the contest
Monica: Yeah so?
Man 2: That's one of the rules, no contact with the other team! (the entire gang looks at each other in disbelief)
Monica: So what happens now?
[Scene: There is a large crow around the lake a band is doing a drum roll, we see the gang on the dock, from the chest up only in this shot (it's obvious they are not wearing any clothes)]
Joey: Well....wasn't this trip great!?
Rachel: Yeah the thrill of victory!
Phoebe: Uh hu
Chandler: Hey Ross?
Chandler: Next time someone says "for the love of god take it back"......for the love of god take it back!!!!!!!
Monica: ::sigh:: So...who wins?
Ross: I think under these circumstances no one wins!
The crowd: (after the drum roll ends) Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
Rachel: I cannot believe this!!!!
All: Me neither.
Crowd: Jump! Jump! Jump!
Monica: We have to do this!
Joey: On three?
Rachel: (winces as she says this) Three!!!!!! (we see they're entire bodies in the next shot as they run to the end of the dock and leap off, the scene freezes after they leap off then fades out)