[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
Monica: Yep, we wanna get married!
The Attendant: Well, there's a service in progress. Have a seat.
Chandler and Monica: All right.
(They both sit down.)
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Monica: No, only because that's the graduation song.
(The real Wedding March begins playing from behind the closed doors of the chapel.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
(They storm out into the street.)
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
Chandler/Monica: What, what, what?!?!?!?!!?
The Attendant: Your next!
Monica: Chandler what are we going to do?
Chandler: I don't know, how should I know? (I drunk guy walks past them, then throws up on the floor)
Chandler: Monica I want to marry you but not like this!
Monica: Hell no lets get out a here! (They start to run out but Chandler slips on something) Chandler are you okay?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine I need a bath but I'm fine (eww gross!)
[Scene Caesar's Place Phoebe and Joey have just sneaked back in]
Phoebe: God can you believe that your hand twin won't cooperate?
J: I know! I mean who wouldn't want to see this hand twice?
Security Guard: You guys again! That's it I'm calling the cops.
Store Clerk: ( from the gift shop) Yeah please do I think we where robbed earlier
[Scene Caesar's Place, (time laps) Monica and Chandler meet there]
Monica: Did you find them?
Monica: No me either
Gift shop clerk: That's her (points to Monica, a bunch of cops walk over to Monica)
Cop1: Ma'am will you please remove your shirt?
Monica: What!? (the other cops pull the sweat shirt off her)
Cop2: (to store clerk) Is this it?
Cop1: Your under arrest (puts hand cuffs on her)
Chandler: No. no, no I stole the shirt she had nothing to do with it, arrest me.
Monica: No Chandler you cant do that (to police) We both stole the shirt
Cop1: Okay then your both under arrest (cuff's Chandler too)
[ The jail, M&C are in there cell arguing]
Chandler: This is all your fault!!
Monica: My fault!?
Chandler: Yes if you had just played along with it then you could have bailed me out!
Monica: Well you'll just have to pay both of our bails
Chandler: I can't I spent my last 20 dollars on a wedding service we didn't even have!
Monica: Well who's idea was it to take the shirt? (imitating Chandler) We'll bring it back later, does that sound like a good idea to you!?!?
Cop: Hey shut up!
Another cop: Are there any empty cells? I found two drunks swimming naked in the fountain at Sands (a casino)
Cop: Na put em in here (opens the cell C&M are in)
Monica:(sarcastically) Oh great! Now I get to spend the night with drunks! How romantic, happy anniversary lovekins!
(the cop brings buy the two drunks who are wrapped in blankets, remember they were found swimming naked, once he puts them in the cell we see that it is none less than Ross and Rachel)
Monica/Chandler: Oh my god!!!!!
Woman in the next cell: Hey people are trying to sleep in here!
Monica: Oh bite me I.........Phoebe? (we see that the woman is Phoebe)
Phoebe: Monica, Chandler oh my god Joey wake up!! (pats the guy in the bed next to hers)
Joey: I wanna ride the pony!!
Phoebe: Joey the guys are here
Joey: What oh hey guys I.......whoa!
Monica: What? (she turns around, but we can't see anything (even though you perverts will imagine you can) Oh Rachel for god sake put you blanket back on!
[ Scene next morning, M&C look like they have been awake all night, Joey is snoring , Phoebe is also asleep, and Ross and Rachel are passed out in the cell C&M are in, Joey and Phoebe wake up]
Monica: Ya know I guess we should start thinking about what we're going to do? I mean, we're facing robbery charges, and every one we know is either in here or back in New York
Phoebe: Your in here for robbery!!!!!!
Joey: Well we just got kick out of the casino, they'll probably let us out now
Monica: Not until you pay your bail, you got any money?
Monica: Neither do we, and I think it's safe to assume Ross and Rachel don't (at that moment Ross and Rachel wake up)
Rachel: Oh my head! Where am I?
Ross: Why am I naked?
Chandler: Long story
Monica: Well we're stuck in here, so I think we've got all the time in the world. (suddenly one of the police officers comes over, and opens the cell)
Cop: Your free to go
Ross: What all of us?
Cop: No just him (points to Chandler)
Chandler: Me!? Why me?
Cop: Your bail's been paid
Chandler: By who?
Man:(we can't see him) By me
Coming up next: What will Ross and Rachel do when they find out their married? Who is the mysterious man? How will C&M tell everyone they're engaged?