Just Dreaming


Authors Note: It feels customary to say that this is my first fic, although most of you know that, because you have never seen me write anything before, but custom dictates that I tell you this information and be redundant. I may sound crazy now, but when you are done reading this fic it will make sense. It may not make sense when you begin to read it, or maybe after you finish this part, but by the time the end comes around, it will all make sense. This is probably going to be a long fic. This is only "the prologue" even though it is longer than many entire fics. When I wrote this, my intentions were much different then they are now. My first draft of this fic was written in 25 minutes at 4:30 one morning, when I just couldn't sleep. Those four pages of sloppy notebook writing evolved into a complex story, with many parts. What was going to be a short satirical/humorous piece turned into the combination of the "Friends World" and a bunch of screenplays and novels that I planned on writing one day. Mix them all together, and without any further ado, I present "Just Dreaming", a fantasy world where I control the characters and make them do what I want. (Ross Geller, put that down now. You have to listen to me, I'm in charge here. Ross, Ross don't touch that!) It's not my problem if they don't listen to me.

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I never understood how people say that they owned Matthew Perry in these things. Doesn't Matthew Perry own himself? To all of you Matthew Perry owners: if you owned him, why would you let him do all those drugs and stuff. Maybe you could own Chandler, but why would you want to own a fake character. Chandler isn't real. I looked him up in the phone book, and I couldn't find him!

Authors Note: I should have mentioned before, that I have a weird sense of humor, and I thought it would be funny to include this really long part in the middle, which you probably all already know. This might not make sense now, but like most things I do, it will explain itself in time. Meanwhile, keep reading, if you got this far without stopping, you'll know when you get to the part that you can skip over. And if you don't realize when you get there, maybe you shouldn't be reading this.

Lincoln Elementary School. Rachel, Monica and Phoebe are in third grade. Ross, Chandler and Joey are in fifth grade. All other characters will reveal themselves in time.

WARNING: This fic contains spelling and grammar errors. Do not read it if you are mentally unstable, or you are Ross. Either way, if it pisses you off so much, volunteer to be my beta reader, because I need one, and they are not easy to find!

PS: Thoughts are in italic. Read on, the fic is actually gonna start now


Scene: Rachel is sitting on a bench on the playground all by herself.

Rachel: I can't believe that Barry and Mindy just got married. Barry, my boyfriend and Mindy, my best friend. Or my ex-best friend. I should really find a new best friend, but everyone else is taken. Who should I ask? (Rachel begins to look around and she sees a slightly overweight girl with black hair.) I could ask her. She's all alone too. (Rachel gets up and walks over to where the girl is.) Hi, I'm Rachel Green. My Daddy is rich and I have my own pony. Do you want to be my best friend?

Monica: Ok, we can be best friends. But why don't you have a best friend?

Rachel: I did have one, but now she's my ex-best friend cuz she just married my boyfriend.

Monica: Married? But we're only in third grade!

Rachel: I know silly, but it's not REALLY married. You're new at this school, aren't you?

Monica: Can you tell? Is it obvious?

Rachel: Well, I do know almost everybody because I am the most popular girl in the school.

Monica: If you're the most popular girl, how come Barry didn't marry you? (AN: Ouch!)

Rachel: Cuz he's a big loser. Everybody knows that. I mean he collects teeth for fun. The only thing worse than that is liking dinosaurs or something.

Monica: Then why did you want to marry him?

Rachel: Duh, cuz he's rich and his daddy gave him a really pretty ring to give to me.

Monica: Why does he have to give you a ring when you get married?

Rachel: Don't you know anything? Here, let's go to Joey, he'll help explain this whole marriage thing.

Monica: Who's Joey?

Rachel: The minastainer!

Monica: Ok, that explains a lot. No really, what's a minastainer?


Scene: A big tree with a sign on it. The sign says, "Get Married Here" on it. An Italian kid is standing under it, talking to Rachel and Monica.

Joey: (singing) There's no one better, there's no one greater...

Monica: Oh, so that's a ministater!

Joey: A minister and entertainer in one, that's me. So you had a question or something?

Rachel: Monica just moved here. She doesn't know how weddings work here at Lincoln. I figured that you could explain it to her.

Joey: Well Monica, its your lucky day. I'm in 5th grade, so I know ALL about weddings here, plus I'm the minastainer. I practically invented weddings at this school!

Monica: How do they work?

Joey: It's simple. If you want to get married, just tell me and I'll put on this whole ceremony thing. In the ceremony, the boy gives the girl a ring, and then they kiss.

Monica: On the lips?

Joey: Yup.

Joey nods his head and smiles while thinking about people kissing, then he realizes that there are two girls there, and he must look really stupid, so he stops.)

Joey: Right, so once your married, you have to stay married for the rest of the year, and your husband has to do nice stuff for you. You can only marry one person, and you both have to wear rings to show that you are married? Do you want to get married to somebody?

Monica: I was just wondering, cuz Rachel was telling me about Barry.

Rachel: Right, I almost forgot about Mr. Potato Head, I mean Barry. Hey Joey, you're good at this stuff, how should I get back at him?

Joey: I'd just get married to another guy. Maybe someone older than you and smarter, and maybe even Italian. So Rach, how you doin?

Rachel: Bye Joey, thanks for the advice. I'll remember that.

Joey: Wait, I'll even take you to McDonalds if we could go out. I'll let you order whatever you want.

Rachel: McDonalds doesn't impress me.

Joey: We can go to Wendy's? You can even supersize, that is, if you want to.

Rachel: Bye Joey.

Monica: Bye Joey, thanks for the help. I think I get it now.

(Rachel and Monica walk away)

Rachel: So Mon, do you know any older guys?

Monica: Well, my brother Ross is in 5th grade, and he has some friends, even though he's a loser.

Rachel: Loser isn't good, but maybe his friends will work, come on, where are they?

Monica: Over there, by the seesaw.

Rachel: Great, how's my hair?

Monica: It's fine.

Rachel: Perfect, lets go get me a husband!


Scene: The seesaw. Ross and some other guys (Will, Dan, and Jay) are sitting down and talking. They don't realize that Monica and Rachel have approached and are listening to the conversation.

Dan: No way.

Jay: I don't think so man.

Will: I know, I mean everyone knows that a triceratops is so much cooler than a Stegosaurus. (AN: These are the opinions of the characters. My personal feelings to and about dinosaurs are very different than these.) I mean a triceratops eats meat, and all a stegosaurus eats is grass and stuff. (AN: I haven't studied dinosaurs since the first grade, and that was 9 years ago. I have a great memory, but not it's not that great. Don't use this as a source for a science project or something, because there is a 70% chance it is wrong!)

Ross: You guys (imagine the whiny Ross voice, like right after he finds out about Monica and Chandler) you know that isn't true. I mean look at what Dr. Pittain discovered about the mating habits of a-

Monica: (cuts off Ross) Excuse me Ross. I would like you to meet my new best friend in the entire world, Rachel Green. Rachel, this is my brother Ross.

Ross: Hi Rachel. I was just telling the guys something, but I'm not some kind of loser who only talks about dinosaurs and stuff. You're pretty. I mean, how are you? Not that your not pretty, because you are, and Monica, look over there, I think there's a candy bar on the ground.

Monica: Very funny Ross. So are all of you guys in fifth grade?

Dan: No, I'm only in third grade. Will is in fifth grade though.

Jay: Me too, I think you're in my class.

Monica: Right, I knew that. I guess I didn't notice you or something.

Jay: (Whispers to Dan) I couldn't miss noticing her!(AN: Aren't third graders mean!)

Monica: What?

Jay: I hope you like it here.

Monica: Thanks.

Rachel: (Whispers to Monica)Third graders wont impress Barry, take them somewhere else so I can talk to the older boys, I mean fifth grade men.

Monica: Ok. Dan, Jay, can you guys take me on a tour of the playground and show me all of the things that third graders do here.

Dan: Ok, come on Dan, let's show Monica around.

(Monica, Dan and Jay leave Rachel alone with Will and Ross.)

Rachel: What a choice. Now which would make Barry more jealous, a fat boy (AN: remember Will was fat. Not that I have anything against fat people, these are Rachel's thoughts) or a loser. Start with the fat guy I guess. Will, do you want to get married?

Will: Oh, aren't you daddies little princess, what makes you think that I want to marry a girl like you, just because your (mocking voice) so pretty, and so popular, and your everyone's favorite person. (Normal voice) Ya know what Rachel Green, I don't want to marry you, because I hate you! That's right, (say this next part the way Ross said NYU, like Neil uh Y uh U) I uh don't uh like you! (Will walks away leaving Ross and Rachel there alone. Then Rachel starts crying (AN: Guess nobody saw that one coming!)

Ross: Oh my god. Rachel are you ok?

Rachel: It's just (in between sobs), I've never been turned down before. Whenever I asked anyone to do something, or buy me something, they always have. Nobody ever said no to me before. Everyone always did what I asked them too.

Ross: Oh, well if you want-

Rachel: (Cutting Ross off) I better go find Monica. Maybe she knows what to do. (yelling) Monica, Monica. Where are you? (Runs off leaving Ross to finish his sentence)

Ross: If you want, I'll marry you. One day, Rachel Green, you will love me back.


Scene: Rachel is walking across the playground alone, looking for Monica, when all of the sudden, a kid with really weird blonde hair, dressed in hippyish clothes approaches her and walks next to her.

Rachel: What should I do? What would my hero do in this situation? Ok, so shopping it is!

Weird Boy: I'll marry you Rachel Green! I will do anything to make sure that you are happy. Hi, I'm Gunther.

Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel Green.

Gunther: I know that. I know everything about you. I love you. Cool, what are you doing. I saw you talking to the minastainer before. And I was listening to every word. I want to marry you. I can make Barry jealous. Marry me Rachel. Uh, Rachel, I have a question.

Rachel: Ok, what is it?

Gunther: I know this may seem sudden, but Rachel-

Rachel: (As she catches sight of Monica) Monica! Monica. Bye Gunther! Monica, you will never believe what just happened...


Scene: Monica's Bedroom. Monica is sitting on the bed, and Rachel is on a chair facing her. Monica looks slightly bored, and Rachel is talking a mile a minute, not even noticing that Monica is about to fall asleep.

Rachel: ...So then she was wearing the green hat with the blue dress, and I was like "Jill, honey, just because you're three years old doesn't mean your dolly can wear that. Let's go get Daddy to buy her a new dress, did you see the new Prada baby line?

(At this point, Monica is staring to drool and her eyelids are getting heavy. (On an unrelated note, I learned why your eyelids get heavy when you're tired today. The neurons that control alertness and consciousness or something important are located 1mm from your eyelid, so when you get tired, they do something. Just passing that along. Back to sleepy Monica) Monica is seconds away from falling asleep when Rachel notices that her friend isn't, and hasn't been listening to her.)

Rachel: Monica Geller, are you listening to me?

Monica: Sorry Rach, when I said tell me everything, I meant about today, not your entire life.

Rachel: Oops, so about today...

(Cut to later)

Rachel: So then the kid with the weird hair started talking to me, and I wasn't really listening to him, and then I saw you.

Monica: So Will turned you down?

Rachel: I know, can you believe it! Now I don't know what to do.

Monica: I know, we can call my friend Phoebe from my old school. She's psychic, she can tell us what to do.

Rachel: Psychic? If your sure that there are no better options. Does your brother have any more friends? Who's that kid we passed on the stairs when we were coming up before? You know, the one with the sweater vest on?

Monica: (Blushing) Oh, you mean Chandler? (Quickly) No, you can't ask Chandler.

Rachel: Because you like him?

Monica: Nooo (Sorta laughing, denying Rachel's claim.) Why would I like Chandler? Chandler Bing, Mrs. Chandler Bing, Monica Bing...

Rachel: Ok, so you don't like him, but you want to marry him.

Monica: Ok, so I'm in love with him. But I hate him.

Rachel: Are you bipolar? Do you love him, or hate him?

Monica: The other day, I heard him call me fat. I wasn't supposed to hear him, he and Ross were in Ross's room talking, and I just happened to be listening in. But I like him a lot, I like him, like him. And I don't know what to do.

Rachel: Why don't you call Phoebe?

Monica: Right, I'll call Phoebe and ask her what to do.

Monica dials the phone, and a blonde girl answers on the second ring.

Girl: Monica?

Monica: Hey Pheebs, how did you know it was me?

Phoebe: I just sensed it. And the caller ID. What's up?

Monica: Well, I kinda have this problem.

Rachel clears her throat.

Monica: Two problems actually.

Phoebe: Who's there with you?

Monica: My new friend Rachel. She actually has one problem, and I have another.

Phoebe: Put her on, I'm good at this problem solving thing. I should be a masseuse when I grow up.

Monica: Huh?

Phoebe: Well, I'm good at solving problems, and a masseuse helps people if their stressed, and being stressed is a problem, so it all makes sense.

Monica: Oh, and I thought that you would be a therapist or something. Silly me, let me get Rachel on the phone, so you can massage, I mean help her. Hold on one sec.

Monica passes the phone to Rachel.

Rachel: Hi Phoebe, I'm Rachel, and I have a-

Phoebe: Boy problem.

Rachel: How did you do that?

Phoebe: I'm that good. So tell, what's going on?

Rachel: Ok, so there's this guy.

Phoebe: Isn't there always?

Rachel: Yeah, well I don't really like him, but he was rich. Anyway, I wanted to marry him-

Phoebe: Marry him? Do you go to Lincoln Elementary? Do you know Joey Tribbiani?

Rachel: Yeah, that's sooo weird. How can you do that? How do you know?

Phoebe: Duh, it's like sooo obvious.

Rachel: Right, but I'm not psychic like you (Rolls her eyes at Monica, who smiles back.) Can you tell me how you knew that.

Phoebe: I already told you, I'm psychic. Back to your problem. I bet I can tell you what's wrong. You wanted to marry the rich guy for the pretty ring, but he married your ex best friend, and now you want to get back at him, and you don't know what to do.

Rachel: Wow, you are the best psychic EVER!

Phoebe: Thank you, but I know I am. (You can see Phoebe on the computer. She's typing an e-mail to somebody at HowUDoin@sandwiches.com. She types: Hey Joey, you were right about Monica's friend. Thanks for the story!)

Rachel: So what should I do? You have the answers.

Phoebe: Lay down on the floor and put Monica's stuffed giraffe (AN: I love giraffes!) on your head, and concentrate.

Rachel: Ok. (She does what Phoebe said to do.) This is sooo weird.

Phoebe: Honey, if you think that's weird, I have got a story for you. [Singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil

Rachel: Is this a long story?

Phoebe: Kinda.

Rachel: Ok, cuz you can say it instead of singing it, so you don't get tired.

Phoebe: Ok, I'll just say it instead. (AN: I'm positive that you all know how this goes. It is quite long, so if you want to read this quickly, you can skip this part. But trust me, it's really funny, not like ha ha funny, but just think about it as you read it. And my dad thinks that this could happen in real life...) It starts in the 9th grade. This guy, Neil sees his sister, um Marcia's best friend, Betty in a two piece. The obsession begins. So Neil loves Betty, but he is able to push it to the back of his head and he falls in love with a girl that he met in college, Carol. The cool thing about Carol is that she plays for two teams, the lacrosse team, and the golf team. So while Neil is trying to get over Betty, Betty meets this guy named Barry, and they get engaged. So Betty is sitting in the room where they keep all the presents at her wedding, and she realizes that she doesn't love Barry, so she goes out the window. She goes into the city to find Marcia, and she eventually finds her in a coffee house, and she's there with her friends Chester, Phyllis, and Holden McGroin, and of course, Neil. Now Neil just got divorced, because his wife, or ex-wife Carol, was a lesbian.

Rachel: And he didn't figure it out?

Phoebe: He's not that good on picking up on the obvious. He didn't realize that his sister and his best friend were going out for 5 months.

Rachel: He sounds kinda dumb.

Phoebe: Anyway, Betty becomes part of the gang and everything. Meanwhile, Neil has a lot on his plate. His feelings for Betty resurfaced after like, 8 years, and his lesbian ex is having his baby, and she's raising it with her new girlfriend. So Neil keeps his crush to himself for a year, and he only tells Chester and Holden. Now it's Betty's birthday, a year after she came to the city, but Neil has to go on a business trip right before the party. Right before Neil leaves, Chester convinces him to get over Betty and try to find a new girlfriend. So Neil goes away, but while he's gone, Chester accidentally lets it slip that Neil loves Betty. Betty doesn't know what to do with this. She doesn't know if she likes Neil, but she wants to see him before she leaves. She goes to the airport, but she's too late. She spends the next week thinking, and she realizes that she likes Neil. She goes to the airport to pick up Neil, and she gets a surprise. Neil brought his new girlfriend, Julie back with him. To recap, Neil no longer has feelings for Betty, he has no idea that Betty likes him, he is going out with Julie, and Betty loves him.

Rachel: That's some story.

Phoebe: That's just the introduction. It gets better, or worse, it depends who you are. Meanwhile, Betty gets drunk and lets it slip that she has feelings for Neil. Neil doesn't know what to do, so he listens to Chester and Holden. They tell him to make a list weighing the pros and cons of each girl. He makes the list, and decides on Betty. He tells Betty, and they kiss and everything, but then Betty sees the list, and all of the bad stuff he wrote about her, so she gets really mad at him. A few weeks go by, and Betty tells Neil that it's never going to happen. Julie has been out of the picture ever since Neil wrote the list, so she is no longer a threat. The six are all at Betty and Marcia's, and they're watching old home movies. They're watching a video where Betty and Marcia are getting ready for their prom. Betty's date is late, and she can't go to the prom alone. Marcia and Neil's dad suggests that Neil changes into his tux and takes Betty. Neil gets all ready, but at the end, Betty's date shows up before Neil can take her out. Neil is really upset after this, and Betty sees how much he really cares for her, so they kiss and get together. So everything is going good in Neil and Betty's relationship. They have been going out for almost a year, when Betty gets a new job, which comes with a cute co-worker, which makes Neil very jealous. Neil and Betty start fighting a lot, over Mark, and Neil gets very jealous and mad, because he feels Betty doesn't spend enough time with him. On their anniversary, Betty has to work late, so Neil brings a picnic to her office, and Betty gets mad at him and kicks him out.

Rachel: Why would she do that to him?

Phoebe: Good question, and one that I don't have an answer to.

Rachel: I thought that you knew everything?

Phoebe: The only thing I don't know is that, and also why people paid eight bucks to see Glitter.

Rachel: One of those unanswerable questions.

Phoebe: Back to Betty. She comes home later, and they have a bad fight. Betty suggests they take a break in their relationship, and Neil leaves the apartment. Holden and Chester drag Neil to a club, where he meets this girl that Holden and Chester liked. Anyway, Neil woke up the next morning with the girl from the club, and a message from Betty on his machine, saying that she wanted to get back together. But Neil can't get the girl out of the apartment quick enough, so she hides behind the door of his apartment while Neil and Betty reunite. Neil feels extremely guilty, so he consults with Holden and Chester, and they say to never tell Betty. Neil tries to cover the trail so it doesn't get around to Betty, but it is too late. Neil and Betty have a fight that lasts all night, while their friends are trapped in Marcia's bedroom. Betty says Neil cheated on her, and Neil counters with "We were on a Break." They fight like this all night, and over the next few weeks. Neil goes out with a girl to try to get over Betty, and she comes on a trip to the beach with the gang. At the beach, Neil and Betty start flirting, and they realize that they still have feelings for each other. But Betty still doesn't trust Neil, so she writes him a letter that is 18 pages, front and back that makes him claim full responsibility. Neil falls asleep while reading the letter, so he doesn't realize what he is claiming responsibility for. When they get home, and Neil and Bonnie had already broken up, Neil realizes what the letter says, leading to another fight, using the excuse "We were on a break." Things aren't that good between Neil and Betty now, they keep fighting and can't have a normal conversation. A few months later, Betty has to take her boss's niece out, but she has plans with her crush, so she convinces Neil to take her out. Neil calls the next morning from Vermont. He and Emily hit it off, and they went to a bed and breakfast. Six weeks later, Neil and Emily stood in front of their friends and announced their pending nuptials. Betty was shocked, not only because of the haste, but because she still loved Neil. Neil and Emily sent the invitations, but Betty declined, she said she had work, and she couldn't fly out to London, but the truth was that she couldn't see the man she loved get married to somebody else, of course Betty didn't realize that she loved Neil. The beauty of their relationship was that they never loved each other at the same time, but they were lobsters.

Rachel: Huh?

Phoebe: Lobsters, you know, they mate for life, and walk around the tank with holding claws.

Rachel: Ok, whatever, keep talking.

Phoebe: Right, so they're lobsters. But Betty and Phyllis didn't go to London with everyone else, because Phyllis was in her third trimester and couldn't fly, and Betty thought it would be awkward. Phyllis made Betty realize that she still loved Neil, so Betty decided to go to London and tell him how she felt. When she got there, she couldn't do it, because she saw how happy Neil was with Emily, so she just congratulated him on his wedding. Then she sat down and watched the ceremony. Everything was going fine, until Neil accidentally said the wrong name at the altar. He accidentally said Betty instead of Emily. Emily got very mad at him, but they continued the wedding anyway. Later, Emily climbed out of a window, and Neil told Emily's parents that he was going on the honeymoon, and if Emily wanted to, she could meet him at the airport to go to Greece. So Neil got to the airport, and found Betty waiting for a standby flight, and Emily was nowhere to been seen. When they made the last call of the flight to Athens, Neil told Betty to come with him, because he needed a friend, she agreed. They were getting on the plane, when Neil realized that he left his jacket at the gate. When he got out, he saw Emily, who saw him board the plane with Betty. Emily was upset, because she thought that Neil still loved Betty. Neil ended up missing the flight, sending Betty off to Athens by herself. So Betty was in Athens, and Neil went to London, where he was looking for Emily, who went MIA. After a week of searching, he came back home, and Betty came back from Athens. Now, the funny thing is that Neil was still married to Emily, but he couldn't find her. He got a call from her a few weeks later, and she told him to stop calling her and her family. He begged her to give him another chance, and she agreed, on the condition that he would never see Betty again. Now Neil didn't know what to do, should he choose his wife or his best friend? Eventually, he knew that he had to pick Betty. With the help of Marcia, Betty was able to get over Neil. Betty and Neil became friends again, but this changed pretty soon. About a year after the London fiasco, the gang went out to Las Vegas, but Betty and Neil had work, so they were taking a flight out the day after everybody else. Before Phyllis left, she told Betty that it is very liberating to walk around an empty apartment naked, and Betty figured that she would try it, because he roommate Marcia was away. Neil was in his apartment, and he looked across the street into Betty's apartment, and he saw her naked, so he assumed that she wanted to have sex with him. He went over to her apartment, and he was surprised when he got there, because Betty was not interested in him.

Rachel: I bet she was sooo embarrassed.

Phoebe: Actually, the next day on the plane, Neil wanted to know why Betty wasn't embarrassed, and she told him that she doesn't get embarrassed easily. Neil tried to prove her wrong by doing embarrassing things to her, but she did stuff back to him. When Betty fell asleep, Neil thought it would be funny to draw on her face with a black marker, the kind that doesn't wash off. Betty didn't even realize that she had marker on her face until they got to the hotel and her friends told her. Betty got very mad at Neil, and she made him stay in her room with her, because she was too embarrassed to go out with the marker on her face. They emptied the mini bar, and then they didn't know what to do next. Neil suggested that they eat a lot of grapes, but Betty thought it would be funnier to get married. So they went to the Little White Chapel, and became Mrs. Neil and Mr. Betty. The next morning when they went to breakfast, they had no idea that they were married until their friends told them. Neil didn't want to get his third divorce, so he and Betty decided to get an annulment. Back in New York, Neil told Betty that he took care of everything, but he later confided in Phyllis that he didn't get the annulment, and that he and Betty were still married. He made Phyllis promise not to tell any of their friends, especially Betty. Now, coming off of Neil for a minute. Betty had a problem. Marcia wanted to live with her boyfriend, so Betty had nowhere to go. Neil said that she could move in with him. Phyllis told Neil that the only reason that he was doing that was because he was still in love with Betty. Neil of course denied the whole thing, and the moving process continued. One day when Betty was moving stuff into Neil's place, she answered the phone. Neil's divorce lawyer was on the other end, and he informed Betty that Neil did not get the annulment, and he was going to try the marriage. When Betty heard this, she was very angry with Neil. After a confrontation, a fight, an apology, the signing of divorce papers, and a hug, everything was back to normal.

Rachel: Nothing about this story seems normal.

Phoebe: Ok, as normal as things can get. Over the next two years, Betty and Neil were just friends, but even as friends, they had their moments. Neil dated Betty's sister, but stopped when Betty asked him to. Then Neil dated one of his students, and Betty dated the student's father. They also almost had a bonus night. It was the night Marcia got engaged, and Betty felt lonely because she didn't have anybody. AT the last minute, Betty realized that it wouldn't be right, so nothing happened. So was basically an uneventful two years, but then something happened. Betty and Neil were hanging out at Betty's apartment one night, and they ended up having their bonus night. A few weeks later, Betty took a pregnancy test, and it came back positive. Betty told her friends, and after that, she told Neil. At first, he was in total disbelief, but he got over it, and he was there for Betty. In her 5th month, Neil became jealous of Holden, because he was Betty's roommate. Holden was there to feel the baby kick the first time, and he was always there to help Betty with her pregnancy. The only thing that Neil didn't know was that Holden had a crush on Betty, but Betty didn't know either. Only Chester, Marcia and Phyllis knew. Holden was having problems getting over Betty. He made a choice, and he told Betty and Neil that they should move in together, because she was having his baby. Betty and Neil decided to move in together, but then Neil had to tell his girlfriend Mona. When she came back from her trip, Neil told her that Holden suggested that Betty move in with him. Mona laughed, she thought it was crazy that Holden suggested that's Neil's ex wife should move in with him. After Mona found out that she did, she and Neil broke up. Later that night, Neil went to get a cup of coffee, and he saw Holden. Neil noticed that Holden was having girl problems, so they started talking. Holden opened up to Neil, and he told Neil that he was in love with this girl, but they couldn't go out with her, because she used to go out with one of his friends, and he couldn't do that to the guy. Neil told Holden to talk to the guy, and Holden told Neil that he had feelings for Betty. Neil told Holden that if he really likes Betty that he should go for it, and-

Rachel: Um, Pheebs?

Phoebe: Mr. President?

Rachel: No, it's me, Rachel.

Phoebe: Oh right, Rachel.

Rachel: Yeah, this story is great and all, but maybe you can continue another time. What should I do?

Phoebe: I have a reading. I see a sweater vest, and, no wait he looks gay.

Rachel: Chandler?

Monica: (AN: And you thought I forgot about her) OMG, Rachel, you can't date Chandler!

Phoebe: Um, hello, are you disagreeing with me? Are you undermining my abilities?

Rachel: No, it's just that Monica is in love with him.

You can hear sounds coming down from the room above Monica's.

Chandler's Voice: You love me? That's so weird, I love me too

Monica: Oh my god, Phoebe, he heard us, oh my god, oh my god.

Rachel: Phoebe, we have to go. We'll call you back later when we get this all sorted out. Don't worry Monica, we can figure this out.


Scene: Ross's room. Chandler is at Ross's desk. He's reading a letter.

Ross: I love you? You love me? What are you talking about?

Chandler: Oh, I guess this isn't for me then. Who's the lucky girl? It is a girl, right?

Ross: Don't worry man, I'm not you. You saw Rachel before, right?

Chandler: With the (starts pointing to his nose)

Ross: Oh, and you're perfect.

Chandler: So are you gonna give it to her.

Ross: Yeah, uh huh, no.

Chandler: Why not?

Ross: She doesn't like me.

Chandler: Did she come up to you and say "Hey man, I don't like you."

Ross: No, but that weird kid, Gunther or something did.

Chandler: Do you love Gunther?

Ross: No, I love Rachel.

Chandler: So give Rachel the letter. Let's go now. Now march your butt down to Rachel's room and tell her that you want to marry her.

Ross: Ok, but you're coming with me. Hey, do you think we can play her a song?

Chandler: Don't you want her to like you?


Scene: Monica's Room (AN: I was just typing without thinking, and I wrote Monica and Rachel's apartment. That's kinda weird, but what else do you expect from me?) So this scene will take place like a minute or so later than where we left the girls.

Monica: We can tell them that we were practicing for a play.

Rachel: Maybe a Greek tragedy, or a Shakespearean comedy. (AN: All Shakespearean comedies end with a wedding. Hint, hint?)

Monica: Ok Miss Skeptizmo, but we need an excuse. I just can't go up to him and tell him that I love him. This isn't a sitcom, this is real life, and it's not like I'm a character in a poorly written story (AN: Are you sure?) this is real life Rach.

Rachel: Well, if you're not going to tell him, I will.

Monica: What?

Rachel: I'm going to tell him that you love him.

Monica: Rachel Green, you wouldn't dare.

Rachel: Really? So if I just stood up (she stands) and opened this door (she opens the door and she sees Ross and Chandler with their hands in a position to knock. Monica doesn't realize that they are there because she is facing away from the door.)

Monica: It doesn't matter Rachel, because even if I go up to him and say that I love him.

Before Rachel can get a chance to cut into Monica's speech and save her further embarrassment, Ross makes his presence known.

Ross: Monica, you're in love? That's so sweet. Who is he?

Monica doesn't know how to respond. She is glad that Ross cut in before she said Chandler, she didn't know what she would do if he found out.

Monica: What should I say? I can't make somebody up, Ross will figure it out. And I can't say Chandler, Ross would kill me, and I don't even want to think HOW Chandler would react? (Monica scans her room and sees a CD on top of her stereo.) Kermit the Frog. Oh my god, why did I just say that. Could this possibly get any worse. I feel like the biggest moron in the world.

Ross: From the Muppets?

Chandler: Wow, you two would have interesting kids, if he was real. Monica, do you know the deal with Santa Claus, or do I have to tell you a story?

Monica: I know that he's not real.

Rachel: We have to write these stories for school.

Monica is glad that Rachel came up with a half decent lie.

Monica: I better take over before she screws up. I have to win. Team Monica always wins. Yeah, we have to write stories where we are characters in our favorite tv shows, so I picked the Muppets.

Ross: Why didn't you pick that really cool show, Dinosaur Documentaries?

Monica: Um, lets see. Probably because I'm not a geek.

Chandler: Cheap shot.

Monica: Yeah, but it's true.

Rachel: I'm sure Ross isn't that big or a loser or a geek, (to Ross) are you?

Monica: Better think about that one big bro, cuz if you answer wrong, Rachel might not want to marry you.

Chandler: Ross, this works out great. You love Rachel, and she wants to marry you.

Rachel/Ross: You love me?/You want to marry me?

Monica/Chandler: Oops, I think I said something that I shouldn't have/I have to go home, I mean to the bathroom.

Chandler: Hey Mon, isn't that cooking show on?

Monica: The one with the chef? Yeah, let's go watch it.

Chandler and Monica leave the room, leaving Ross and Rachel, both shocked at the news they had just received.

Ross: So, which show did you pick for your project?

Rachel: You love me?

Ross: Chandler is insane.

Rachel: Answer the question Ross. Do you love me?

Ross: What would happen if I said yes?

Rachel: (Smiling) I don't know. Maybe you should try it.

Ross: Well what if I don't?

Rachel: Maybe you should try it.

Ross: Ok, maybe I will. You want to go get ice cream?

Rachel: Ok, sounds like a plan.


Scene: The Geller House. Ross and Rachel are walking down the stairs, and they see Chandler and Monica sitting in a chair together watching tv.

Rachel sees that Monica and Chandler are sitting together, so she assumes that Monica told Chandler how she feels about him.

Rachel: Aw Monica, I'm so glad that you told Chandler how you feel about him. You guys make such a cute couple.

Ross: Oh my god Monica, you like Chandler?

Monica: Oh my god. Oh my god. How can I lie my way out of this one? Nooo.

Chandler: It all makes sense now. Kermit the Frog? Do you think I'm stupid?

Monica: I was scared ok? I figured that you would laugh at me.

Chandler: I won't laugh at you, just tell me how you feel.

Monica starts to talk but hesitates when she sees Ross. Rachel notices her friend's actions.

Rachel: Come on Ross, where's that ice cream?

Ross: Let's go.

Ross and Rachel leave.

Chandler: Monica, how do you feel about me?

Monica: The truth?

Chandler: The truth.

Monica: Ok, this is hard.

Chandler: Take your time.

Monica: Ok, I really like you, a lot.

Chandler just stares at her.

Monica: Did you forget how to talk? Please say something, anything?

Chandler: She's nice and everything. It'll be hard to let her down easy, but I can't go out with her. Monica, I know this may seem harsh and everything, but I think that we should just be friends. You seem really nice, and I would love to get to know you better, but I think we should just be friends. Is that ok?

Monica: Hey, at least you didn't laugh at me.

Chandler: Good point. You want to go get some of that ice cream?

Monica: Sure, why not?


Scene: The playground the next day. Ross and Rachel are talking to Joey.

Rachel: …so we want to get married.

Joey: Great, I'm glad things worked out for you two. Ross, do you have the ring?

Ross: Yup, I have the perfect ring.

Joey: Ok, I'll set up the wedding. Ross, you go stand by that big tree over there, and Rachel, go stand by the slide. I'll let you know when to start walking toward us. I'll get the guests, and we'll get this wedding underway.


Scene: Ross and Rachel are standing by the tree facing each other. Joey is standing behind them, and he is saying something.

Joey: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Rachel. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always, or until the end of the school year. Now Rachel, repeat after me. I, Rachel...

Rachel: I, Rachel...

Joey: Take thee Ross...

Rachel: Take thee Ross...

Joey: As my playground wedded husband, in rain and in sun, till summer parts us.

Rachel: As my playground wedded husband, in rain and in sun, till summer parts us.

Joey: Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...

Ross: I Ross...

Joey: Take thee, Rachel...

Ross: Take thee, Emily (AN: Wait a minute, that's not right. Start over.) Take thee, Rachel…

Joey: As my playground wedded husband, in rain and in sun, till summer parts us.

Ross: As my playground wedded husband, in rain and in sun, till summer parts us.

Joey: You guys can kiss now.

Ross and Rachel lean in and peck on the lips. The crowd of children makes noise, some cheering, clapping, and ewing take place.

Girl 1: Ewww. You kissed a boy.

Girl 2: On the lips.

Girl 3: Now you need a cootie shot.

Girl 4: Circle circle, dot dot, now you have a cootie shot.

Girl 2: Circle circle, square square, now you have it everywhere.

Girl 1: Circle circle, knife knife, now you have it for life.


Scene: The "reception". Let's have Barry talking to Rachel. We'll have other stuff going on in the background, but focus on Rachel and Barry.

Barry: Congratulations Rachel. I hope you are happy.

Rachel: Thank you. I'm much happier than I could have been with you. I actually like Ross. How are you and Mindy? Where is she?

Barry: Oh, we had a big fight. We would probably get divorced, but they don't let you.

Rachel: Oh, that’s too bad.

Barry: I hope we can still remain friends and everything. You're really nice and everything.

Rachel: Ok, that sounds good. Oh, didn't you tell me that you had to ask me something the other day?

Barry: I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out, you know, before you and Ross got married.

Rachel: Wait, you're still married to Mindy, but you were going to go out with me?

Barry: Yeah, why not?

Rachel: You are such a pig. You can't have a wife and a girlfriend?

Barry: Why not? My dad does?

Rachel: You are such a pig. Just get away from me.

Rachel walks away, leaving Barry there with a "what did I do face." Joey approaches him.

Joey: Women, you think you understand them.

Barry: I will never understand women.

Joey: Welcome to the club.


Scene: Later at the reception. Chandler is talking to one of his friends (David). He is telling him about Monica's confession.

Chandler: …and after she told me that she loved me, I didn't know what to say. I can't go out with her.

David: Why not?

Chandler: Because, she's fat.

Monica walked up to hear Chandler's last line, but she didn't know who he was talking about. She doesn't make her presence know yet, and the boys keep talking without realizing she was right behind them.

David: So the only reason that you won't go out with Monica is because she's fat?

Monica: (Starts to cry) I thought that you were different Chandler. It turns out that you’re the same as everyone else. I thought that you were my friend.

Monica ran away from Chandler, who began to run after her.

Chandler: Monica, wait, let me explain…


Scene: The "wedding night". Ok, they're in third grade, get your mind out of the gutter. Rachel and Ross are on the phone with each other. Ross is sitting in his room, watching a dinosaur show, and Rachel is laying on her bed reading a magazine.

Rachel: So this is what married people do.

Ross: Yup, I guess so.

Rachel: Ya know what, I didn't think that I would be saying this, but I'm really glad I married you.

Ross: I didn't think that you would say it either, but I'm really glad that you did.

Rachel: (Giggling) Me too. It's getting late, I should go.

Ross: You need your beauty sleep?

Rachel: Whatever Ross, I'll call you tomorrow?

Ross: Goodnight Rach.

Rachel: Wait, Ross.

Ross: What?

Rachel: I love you.

Ross: I love you too.


Scene: Rachel's bedroom at Monica's apartment. Rachel looks like she did at the end of the first season, and she appears to be waking up from a dream.

Rachel: That's weird. I had a dream about Ross, but it wasn't like those dreams I had about Chandler and Joey that time. Those were, um, nice, but this one was amazing. I dreamed that Ross loves me! Why would I do that unless, oh my god, I love Ross! I love Ross. (Screams) I love Ross!

Cut to Monica's room

Monica: What the hell?

Cut to Rachel's room

Monica: (Storming in) Why are you screaming, and what did you say?

Rachel: I didn't say anything, I mean I said I'm the boss. Yup, that's me, I'm the boss of this entire damn planet!

Monica: Ok, you apparently need more sleep, you want to be awake for your birthday party tomorrow.

Rachel: Oh right, my party. (AN: For those of you as dense as Joey, this is a first season fic. The whole thing was a dream. Toto, we're back in Kansas.) Tomorrow is my birthday party. I'm going back to sleep now. (Seems very shocked at her revelation, and also confused.)

Monica: Ok, goodnight. (Leaves the room)

Rachel: (AN: I borrowed these lines from the show. I kinda changed them a little.) I don't know. What should I do? I don't know... and, uh, oh, it's Ross. I mean, it's Ross. I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great. What happens if it doesn't work out? I can't think about this right now. I need to sleep. (Rachel manages to sleep, but she is scared about the feelings her dream provoked. She knows she needs to talk to Ross and get to the bottom of everything, she just doesn't know what to say to him.)

Authors Note: Ok, so that was it. The torture is over. FYI: You could have skipped over the Ross and Rachel saga. In my next fic, you can skip over the Monica and Chandler saga. I don't think I'm going to have Phoebe and Joey together in this fic, so I wont have to write out their story. Besides, I find the R&R story very funny. Back to the point. I am going to do a weird continuation thing. I'm going to have two spin-offs of this thing, a Ross and Rachel, and a Monica and Chandler. I know that some R&R fans don't like to read M&C, and some M&C fans don't like R&R. I'm going to have the plot lines be the same, but the individual stories will focus on the couple who the story is based on. You will be able to understand the story if you read one part, or both parts. If you don't read any parts, you probably wont get it, unless you are psychic, in which case, let me know how this ends, because I have no idea. Even if you aren't psychic, let me know what else should happen. The only thing that I know is that the dream was just a fantasy, and everyone will return o their regular roles in the next fic, and there will be more of the other characters. Thanks for reading, and please review. This is my first fic, so let me know what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it. I like constructive criticism, so let me know your honest opinion, I won't take it personally. Have a nice day (or night, morning, whatever), and check back soon for part 2.