By: Queen B
(Now. First of all, this story is probably nothing like any other R+R fanfic you've ever read. This takes place in the present time, only things are much different. Everyone is between the ages of 22 and 24, and R+R have been married for about a year. But this isn't the Ross that we all know and love. This is the bad Ross. The Ross that parties until late at night and doesn't come home until three in the morning. Pretty much just imagine the exact opposite of the real Ross. Rachel tries the best she can to try and be around Ross, but he pretty much ignores her. This is a little wierd....okay, it's really wierd. But read it anyway! Here goes!)
Scene: ("Stan" by Eminem comes on (not the rap, just the chorus) We see Rachel, lying in her bed with the lights out. It's obviously very late, and Ross isn't home yet. She just lays there, looking up at the ceiling, sadly. A few minutes later, we hear the door open. Rachel closes her eyes, and pretends to be asleep. Ross enters the room, and we hear him changing into his boxers, and getting into bed. Rachel rolls over, and sadly stares at the wall, until she falls asleep. The scene fades out)
Scene: (Monica's apartpment)
Mon: I mean, I know it's crazy, but I seriously think he likes me too.
Rach: Alright Mon, but even if he does, you know you can't date him or anything.
Mon: Yeah, I know, but that doesn't mean I can't have a crush on him.
Rach: Well, what do you see in this guy, anyway? I mean other than he's cute, and smart, and funny.......well alright, I guess I can see why you like him. But just remember, he's your boss.
Mon: Yeah I know. I guess I'll just have to do something that turns me off to him.
Rach: Well at least try to stop drooling while you're cooking every time you see him.
Mon: Yeah, I guess that does violate the health code.
Rach: It's also a little gross too.
Mon: Alright, I get it. So what are you and Ross doing tonight?
Rach: Well, Ross works until six, and then he'll probably stay out all night.
Mon: And what are you going to do?
Rach: Well....my boss asked me to look over some sketches, and-
Mon: So you're just gonna sit at home and work, while Ross is out partying without you?
Rach: Well, yeah, he doesn't want me around him when he's with his friends.
Mon: And when is he ever not with his friends?
Rach: Well....he's not with his friends when he's at work.
Mon: Do you even know who his friends are?
Rach: Alright, what is this, 20 Questions? (sighs) I sure wish he'd hang out with Chandler and Joey more.
Mon: I know, they used to be so close.
Rach: Yeah. (Rachel looks down) Well, I'd better go, Ross should be home soon.
Mon: I thought you said he stays out all night.
Rach: Yeah, but he usually comes home for about ten minutes to change his clothes.
Mon: And then he leaves again?
Rach: (nods) Yep. (gets up to leave) Well I'll see ya later Mon.
Mon: Okay. Give me a call if you get too lonely tonight.
Rach: Okay, I will. Bye. (leaves, and Monica stares after her)
Mon: (shakes her head) Poor Rachel.
Scene: (R+R's aparptment. Rachel is on the couch, reading. After a few minutes, Ross enters, and walks quickly to the bedroom.) *Note: Picture Ross to be reeeeally, really hot, and not at all a dinosour geek. Pick wichever hair style you like on him. (I personally like his third season hair:) Imagine him to be tan with a really great body. He also looks alot younger, since he's only like 22 or 23.
Rach: (looking up from her book) Hi.
Ross: (barely glancing at her) Hey babe. (goes into the bedroom and closes the door)
Rach: (yells to him) Were are you going?
Ross: (O.S.) Out.
Rach: Oh. (pause) Did you have a good day?
Ross: (O.S.) Uh-huh. (He comes out of the bedroom wearing jeans and a shirt)
Rach: (trying to find something to say) I saw your parants at the store yesterday, they said to tell you-
Ross: (Interupting her) Ya know, I really don't feel like talking about my parants right now. I gotta go, anyway.
Rach: (Looks down) Oh, okay. (He gets his coat) Bye.
Ross: See ya. (leaves)
(Rachel sighs. She just sits there for a moment, then gets the phone and dials a number)
Rach: (Listens) Hey Monica........Yeah, I'm lonely.....
Scene: (Rachel, Monica and Pheobe are at Monica's, and are sitting on the couch, watching a movie)
Mon: (sniffs) This is so sad.
Rach: (also crying) I know, how can she just leave her whole family behind like that, just because she lost her job?
Pho: Well, I did the same thing.
Pho: Uh-huh, it was right after my mom had killed herself. My sisiter moved in with this wierd albino guy, and I of course had no were to go, so I decided to hitch-hike to New York, and this woman said she'd give me a ride if I gave her my earings, but of course those were my grandmother's old earings, so I ended up working for this old man who sold condoms, until I was able to afford a plane tickit........Okay, so this isn't the same thing at all.
(Monica and Rachel just give her a really wierd look)
Mon:: So, were's Chandler and Joey?
Rach/Pho: Strip joint.
Mon: Ugh. What is the matter with men these days? I mean, what's so appealing about a topless dancer who can do gross things with her tongue.
Pho: Well, you have to look at it from a guy's point-of-view. Oh! I do have a story about a stripper, who I think tried to seduce me. Although, it may turn you off to whipped cream for a while.
Mon: (to Rachel) How come no one's ever written a book about Pheobe?
Rach: (Rachel just shakes her head and turns back to the movie) Wait, so what happened now, why hasn't she left the city yet?
Pho: Who cares? She'll probably just end up killing herself and abandoning her two children anyway.
Scene: (Ross walks into the bar, and goes over to some people)
Ross: Hey guys.
Man #1: (Let's call him Chad) Hey!
Man #2: (Late's call him Mike) How's it goin' man.
Man #3: (Tony) Hey Ross, how'd you manage to get pass the old lady this time!?
Ross: Hey come on, don't say that, she's a year yonger than me!
(They all laugh. *Btw there is music playing, and everything is really loud)
Ross: (to the bar-tender) Hey, can I get a beer?
Chad: More like ten beers! (they all laugh again*)
*Remember, these guys (except Ross) are all partially drunk, so they laugh at every corny joke*
(Cuts back to the girls, watching a different movie than before. They are all crying (even Pheobe)
Mon: (wiping her eyes with a tissue) I mean, how can he mistreat her like that when she loves him so much?
Pho: (sniffs) Yeah, why did he marry her if he wasn't going to ever be home with her?
(Cut to Rachel's face. She is crying too, because of how much the movie relates to her own life.)
Scene: (The next morning. Rachel wakes up and goes over to the closet to get her robe. Ross is still asleep-Yes, he did eventually come home)
(Rachel enters the kitchen and starts making coffee. After a few minutes the phone rings, and she goes to answer it)
Rach: Hello? (listens) Uh, yeah he is, just hold on a second.
(She enters the bedroom)
Rach: Ross (She shakes him a little) Ross.
Ross: (not moving) Hm.
Rach: The phone is for you.
Ross: (takes the phone from her, still in the same position with his eyes closed) Hello?.......Hey man, what happened to you last night? (sits up)........What? No way, you mean- (pauses and looks up at Rachel who is still in the room) Hey do you mind? (starts talking on the phone again) Anyway.......
(Rachel sadly turns and leaves the room. Awww:(
Scene: (Rachel is in her office. (Let's say she has an assistant job at Bloomingdales) She is at a desk, typing something on a computer)
(A guy enters. Let's call him Roger, and say he's played by Brad Pitt.....wow I wish it were that easy:-)
Rog: Hey Rachel, do you have the file for the new spring fasions?
Rach: Uh, no, I think I sent it down to the purchasing deparptment.
Rog: Oh, okay. So, did you have a good weekend?
Rach: Uh, it was okay I guess. I just hung out with my friends.
Rog: How's your husband?
Rach: (Feeling hurt, just thinking about him) He's....okay.
Rog: You just never seem to talk about him that much.
Rach: Oh, well, he's uh.....he's away alot....on buissness trips.
Rog: Oh really. What does he do?
Rach: Oh, just.....buissness stuff.*
*In case you're wondering what Ross really does, let's say he works in a factory somewere.
Rach: So, are you married?
Rog: No, don't you remember? I was supposed to get married last year, but I broke it off with her.
Rach: Oh that's right. Wow, that must have been hard for you.
Rog: Not really, she hung out at parties every night, and she was hardly ever around. (Rachel looks down) I mean what's the point of marrying someone if you're never going to see them, right?
Rach: Uh, y-yeah, of course.
Rog: Are you okay?
Rach: Uh, yeah I'm fine, but ya know what, I should get back to work.
Rog: Yeah, me too. See ya later.
Rach: See ya. (He leaves. Rachel leans back in her chair. We can tell that she has an urge to do something, but we don't know what. After a short pause, she reaches for her phone, and dials a number)
Voice: (O.S) Hello?
Rach: Hi, could I please speak to Ross Geller?
Voice: One moment.
(After a pause, Ross comes to the phone, and now there is a split screen of R+R talking.)
Ross: Hello, Ross Geller speaking.
Ross: Who's this?
Ross: Oh. What's wronge?
Rach: Well, I was wondering if you could uh......(tries to think of a reason for calling him)
Ross: If I could what?
Rach: Uh, if you could pick me up today?
Ross: Why can't you just take the bus, like always?
Rach: Well, uh....the bus that I usually take, it uh......it doesn't run anymore.
Ross: What? Why?
Rach: The uh......the bus drivers are on strike, or something.
Ross: So that means I'm gonna have to pick you up everyday?
Rach: (smiling because she just realized that) Well....
Ross: Oh, that's great, now I'll be driving you everywere! When are we getting another car?
Rach: I don't know Ross, can't you just pick me up? It's not that much to ask.
Ross: Oh, alright.
Rach: Great. I get off at seven.
Ross: Fine. Just don't make me have to wait long for you.
Rach: I won't. Well, I should go.
Ross: Bye. (They hang up)
Scene: (Later. Roger and Rachel are in Rach's office, talking about something)
Rog: So, this spring the new fasions should be a little different than last years'.
Rach: Really, have you seen them already?
Rog: No, but Matt from downstaires has, and he said-
(Ross enters, looking angry)
Rach: (Looks up) Oh my God, Ross, I'm sorry, I forgot you were picking me up.
Ross: You were supposed to be outside, waiting for me at seven o'clock!
Rog: Hey, go easy on her, she said she forgot.
Ross: And who are you?
Rach: ( a little embarassed by Ross) This is Roger, my co-worker. Roger, this is my husband, Ross.
Rog: Oh, nice to meet you (sticks out his hand but Ross ignores it)
Ross: So what's the matter with you, huh? I go out of my to pick you up, and you don't even remember?
Rach: Ross, calm down, just let me get me coat.
Ross: Well, hurry up, I'll be in the car.
Rach: Alright. (Ross leaves, and she goes into the next room to get her coat, and Roger follows her)
Rog: So, uh, that was your husband, huh?
Rach: Yeah, something wronge?
Rog: No, no, he just seemed a little.....edgy.
Rach: Uh, yeah, ya know what he probably just had a bad day at work, that's all.
Rog: Ah. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
Rach: Yeah, okay.
Rach: Bye. (leaves. Roger stares after her, susspiciously)
Scene: (Monica is at work, getting ready to leave. Chris-Monica's boss, who she has a crush on, enters the room)
Chris: Here ya go Monica (hands her a paycheck)
Mon: Oh, great, thanks. (In her head) Okay, just try not to look at him. (she looks at him) Oh God, why does he have to be so cute?
Chris: So, Monica, what are you doing tonight?
Mon: Uh, nothing. Why?
Chris: Well there's this place down the street that I've been meaning to go to. I hear the food's really great.
Mon: Oh my God! Is he asking me out? Quick, say something!! I'd love to!
Mon: I mean, uh.....
Chris: Well if you don't want to, that's fine, I understand.
Mon: No, no, it's not that, I uh, I just don't think I'm dressed well enough. What the hell was that? Now he probably thinks I don't like him!
Chris: Well you can go home and change first.
Chris: Great. So I'll pick you up in about an hour?
Mon: Okay. Didn't I just say that? Oh well, who cares, I've got a date with Chris!
Scene: (R+R enter their aparptment. Ross goes over the couch and starts reading a magazine. After a few minutes, the phone rings, and Rachel answers it)
Rach: Hello?.......Hi Monica (split screen of Rach and Mon talking on the phone)
Mon: Rach, guess what!
Mon: Chris asked me out!
Rach: What? How could he do that? He's your boss! (she walks into the bedroom, and closes the door)
Mon: Yeah, I know, but he asked, so I figured, why not!
Rach: So, is it a real date, or are you just gonna talk about work?
Mon: Well, I assume we won't spend the whole time talking about clam chowder.
Mon: Today's special.
Rach: Alright, well don't do anything naughty, he is your boss.
Mon: Yes, and how many times have you told me that?
Rach: Just wanna make sure you understand. Oh! Guess what, Ross brought me home from work today!
Mon: How romantic.
Rach: Well at least I get to see him tonight.
Mon: How do you know he's staying home?
Rach: Well.....actually, I don't know. Oh God, what should I do so he doesn't leave?
Mon: There's only one thing you can do.
Mon: Seduce him.
Rach: Really, you think I should?
Rach: Well, I guess I could do that.
Mon: Uh, exactlly how long has it been since you've uh.....ya know.
Rach: Oh God, I don't know.
Mon: It's been that long, huh?
Rach: Yeah, how long's it been for you?
Mon: That uh....isn't important.
Rach: Right. Well, you should probably get ready for your date.
Mon: Yeah, you're right. Well, I'll talk to you later Rach.
Rach: Okay, bye.
Mon: Bye. (they hang up)
(Rachel enters the livingroom, were Ross is still on the couch, reading)
Rach: So....are you staying here tonight? (Ross doesn't answer) Ross?
Rach: I said are you staying here tonight?
Ross: It's a weeknight. I never go out on weeknights.
Rach: (under her breath) Since when?
Rach: Nothing. Wanna make out?
Rach: Don't you ever hear anything that I say to you?
Ross: Yeah, I think I heard what you said.
(He gets up and goes over to her. Rachel quickly grabs him, and kisses him passionately. Ross puts his hands on her back, and she runs her fingers through his hair. Rachel starts unbuttoning his shirt)
Rach: (her lips still glued to his) Your hot, ya know that?
Ross: (his lips glued to hers) Yeah, I know.(They fall onto the couch, kissing, and we get the hell outta there:-)
*One Year Later*
(Now unfortunately, things didn't get any better for R+R. Ross still hangs out at the bar every night, and gets home late. Rachel has pretty much given up on trying to fix things with Ross, so now they both ignore eachother. Monica is still dating Chris, and Pheobe, Chandler and Joey are.....the same)
Scene: (Rachel is at a restaraunt with Roger, disscussing buisness)
Rach: And we also have to look over these sketches for the new winter line.
Rog: Okay, so how about you do half, and I'll do the other half.
Rach: Alright, just make sure you don't skip over any.
Rog: I won't. So, are you going to the office Christmas party?
Rach: When is it?
Rach: Really? How come they're having it so soon?
Rog: I don't know. Personally I don't like them. I usually just end up standing around, pretending to be interested in people's conversations.
Rach: So, are you going anyway?
Rog: Yeah, I guess. Besides, I need to get on the boss' good side.
Rach: How come?
Rog: I came in late last week.
Rach: Big deal, I do that all the time. (Roger gives her a look) Which means, I'd better come to the party.
Rog: And bring him flowers.
Rach: Flowers? But he's a man.
Rog: Yeah, but according to his assistant, he may have been out of the closet for a while now.
Rach: Mr. Douglas is gay?
Rog: I think so.
Rach: Wow, I never would have guessed that!
Rog: I figured it out last year when he gave me a Valentine.
(They laugh, and get back to work)
Scene: (Monica's aparptment. Chandler, Joey, Pheobe and Monica are there. Pheobe and Joey are playing cards)
Pho: Joey you can't draw a card until you put out.
Joey: Hey I didn't know this was strip poker!
Pho: No, I meant you have to put down a card.
Joey: Dammit! Well let's finish this game up soon, cause I gotta date tonight.
Mon: With who?
Joey: This girl I met at the movies, her name's Gina.
Mon: What happened to Brenda?
Joey: Who's Brenda?
Mon: The girl you claimed to be in love with last week!
Joey: Oh.....her name was Brenda?
(Mon rolls her eyes. Rachel enters)
Rach: Hey guys.
Mon: How was work?
Rach: It was alright. Hey do you guys wanna go see a movie or something?
Mon: Well Joey's got a date, but I'll go.
Rach: Okay. How about you Pheebes?
Pho: I don't know, I might have plans with my inner-spirit.
Chan: Yeah, same here.
Scene: (A few days later. Monica and Chris are at his apartpment, making out on the couch)
Chris: (breaks it) Okay, I gotta ask you something.
Chris: Well, uh (he gets up and starts pacing around)
Mon: Chris, what's going on?
Chris: Oh God, here goes. (stops pacing) Monica, do you love me?
Mon: Well, yeah, of course I do.
Chris: Good....good, that's good. (starts pacing again)
Mon: Are you okay?
Chris: Yeah, of course.
Mon: Well, what do you want to ask me?
Chris: Well, I just want to make sure that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.
Mon: Well...how exactlly do you feel about me?
Chris: I guess what I'm trying to say is (gets on his knees in front of Monica) Monica, will you marry me?
Mon: (gasps) Oh my God! (hugs him)
Chris: Is that a yes?
Mon: Yes, yes! (They hug and kiss, and blah blah blah..)
Scene: (Rachel is in her office, talking on the phone)
Rach: (really aggravated) No Janet, that order was supposed to be sent in last week!........yeah, okay, I understand that you're busy, but guess what?......I am also busy! And to busy to do your job for you!.......Alright, just be sure to do it by tomorrow.......Bye. (Hangs up, and Monica enters)
Rach: Hey, what are you doing here?
Mon: Oh, I just wanted to stop by to let you know that.....I'M ENGAGED!
Rach: Oh my God! (They hug) Oh, Monica that's so great, I'm so happy for you. (they break) Okay, so tell me how he did it, was it like real sudden, or was it real romantic?
(they both giggle and hug again)
Rog: (enters) Hey ladies, what's goin' on?
Rach: Oh, my friend here just got engaged!
Rog: Oh, congradulations.
Rog: So Rach, are we still on for tonight?
Rach: Yeah, sure.
Rog: Great, I'll see ya later.
Rach: Okay. (he leaves, and Rachel smiles after him. Monica looks susspi4cious)
Mon: Who was that?
Rach: Oh, that was Roger.
Mon: Ah. And what are you two doing tonight?
Rach: Oh, he got us reservations at this really fancy night club.
Mon: What about Ross?
Rach: What about Ross?
Mon: Does he know that you're going out with this guy tonight?
Rach: Ugh, please. I could stay out for a month, and Ross wouldn't notice.
Mon: But you are just friends with this guy, correct?
Rach: Correct. We're just friends.
Mon: Alright. Well, I should go, I gotta go pick out a wedding dress.
Rach: Monica, you just got engaged last night!
Mon: Uh, Rachel, did you just meet me?
Rach: Right, sorry. I'll see ya later.
Mon: Okay, bye. (she leaves)
Scene: (A really fancy nightclub. There is a jazz band playing, and some people are dancing. Rachel and Roger are at a table, talking)
Rach: Wow, this place is so nice.
Rog: See, I told you I pick the best spots.
Rach: Well, you were right.
Rog: So, do you wanna dance?
Rach: Uh, yeah, sure.
Rog: Come on. (takes her hand and leads her over to the dance floor. They start slow-dancing to the song) Do you like jazz?
Rach: It's alright I guess.
Rog: My Dad used to play in a band, back when I was a kid.
Rog: Yeah. He was pretty good, actually.
Rach: Does he still play?
Rog: No, he died a few years ago.
Rach: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Rog: It's alright. So what does your Dad do?
Rach: He's a doctor.
Rog: Oh. Are you close with him?
Rach: No, not really. Since I graduated high school, I really havn't seen much of them. Are you close with yours?
Rog: No not really. After my Dad died my family just kinda fell apart.
Rach: That's too bad.
(They just dance closely for a few minutes)
Rog: Do you go dancing alot?
Rach: Oh God, no. I can't remember the last time my husband took me dancing.
Rog: When was the last time your husband told you just how special you are?
Rach: Oh come on, stop it.
Rog: No, I'm serious, I don't think he knows what a lucky guy he is. I mean, you diserve someone who makes you feel loved.
(They both gaze into eachother's eyes for a moment)
Rach: (trying to break the silance. Talking sofly) Well, he uh, he used to be different......(they continue looking into eachother's eyes. Roger eventually leans over, and kisses her. She kisses him back, and the scene fades out)
Scene: (Rachel enters the dark aparptment, still in a confused daze. She walks strait to her bedroom, not even bothering to turn on a light. She enters the bedroom and lays down on the bed, and stares up at the ceiling, just thinking)
Scene: (Rachel is at her desk at work, typing something on a computer.)
Rog: (enters) Hey.
Rach: (Looks up) Hey.
Rog: I uh, think we need to talk.
Rach: Yeah, ya know what Roger, you don't need to apologize, it was partly my fault anyway, I give out the wronge signals sometimes.
Rog: Well, actually....I'm not here to apologize.
Rach: (confused) What?
Rog: Okay, here's the thing. (pause) I'm not totally sorry about what happened last night. I mean, I'm sorry if I made you feel confused or guilty about it. But, ya see......I'm not sorry that I let you know how you how I feel about you.
Rach: Well.....how do you feel about me?
Rog: Well, that's the thing. (pause) I think I might be falling in love with you.
(Rachel just stares at him shocked)
Rog: I'm really sorry, and uh.....maybe we just shouldn't see eachother for a while. (he starts to walk out the door, but turns back around) But could you just promise me one thing?
Rog: If he ever hurts you, so bad that you can't take it anymore......give me a call, alright?
Rach: (she pauses, starring at him) Okay.
Scene: (Ross is at work, doing.....work? Remember, he works in a factory, so there's no science geeks or anything:-)
(A girl comes up behind him. Picture to her to look like.....Chloe (gross!) Let's give her a different name though. How about......Darla. *Btw-she's really flirty, and has a crush on Ross)
Dar: Hey Ross.
Ross: (turns around, and smiles) Oh, hey Darla, what's goin' on?
Dar: Nothin' much. I'm on my break now.
Ross: Oh, I don't go on mine for another hour.
Dar: Well, you don't mind if I hang around you for a little while, do you?
Ross: Of course I don't mind.
(Darla giggles (what a bitch))
Dar: So, I dumped my boyfriend yesterday.
Ross: Oh, I didn't know you were seeing someone.
Dar: Only for a few weeks. He was only good for one thing, anyway.
Ross: Yeah, I know what you mean (hm....)
Dar: (after a pause) So, are you gonna be at ****'s tonight?
Ross: Yeah probably, why?
Dar: Well, I was just thinking that, um......maybe you'd want to-
(Monica enters before she can finish)
Mon: Hey Ross!
Ross: Monica? What are you doing here?
Mon: I gotta tell you something, can we talk for a minute?
Ross: I guess. Uh, Darla, I'll talk to you later, okay?
Dar: Okay, see ya Ross (she touches him on the arm, and leaves. Monica stares after her susspiciously, just like she did with Roger)
Mon: Who's that?
Ross: Darla. She works here.
Mon: (sarcasticly) Yeah, I-I really like her buissnes outfit.
Ross: So what do you want, anyway?
Mon: Well, you know that guy that I've been seeing?
Mon: (under her breath) That's right, how would you?
Mon: Well, uh....he and I are getting married. (expecting him to get all excited, but his expression doesn't change)
Mon: (angry) Did you just say, "oh"?!
Ross: Yeah, what's wronge with that?
Mon: Well, nothing......if you're Mom!! Ross, my pet goldfish was more excited than you!
Ross: Well, what do you want me to do?
Mon: You could do the same thing I did when you told me you were getting married!
Ross: I wasn't the one who told you I was getting married.
Mon: Alright fine, fine. See ya later Ross! Thanks for the support! (leaves angrily. Ross looks a little down, but then shrugs it off)
Scene: (Later that night. Ross and three other guys are at the bar, sitting at a table)
Tony: So then I told her to put a shirt on, and get the hell outa my house! (they all laugh. Darla comes up to them)
Dar: Hey guys.
Dar: Hey Ross.
(she walks over to another table, were two girls are)
Girl 1: You like Ross, don't you?
Girl 2: You do know that he's married, right?
Dar: Yeah, so. When has that ever stopped me?
(cuts to R+R's aparptment. Rachel is there, reading a magazine. Monica enters, suddenly)
Rach: Hey. Anything wronge?
Mon: (slams her purse down on the table) Have you ever noticed what a jerk your husband is?
Rach: Eh. You get used to it after a while. Why, what happened?
Mon: Well, I went down to the factory to tell him I was getting married, and he just shrugged it off, like it was no big deal!
Mon: Did you just say, "oh"?!
Rach: Calm down Mon, that's just the was Ross is.
Mon: That's not how he used to be.
Rach: Yeah, I know. (they look sadly at eachother, and hug)
Scene: (A few months have passed by, and Monica and Chris are walking down the street somewere, holding hands)
Mon: And I picked out my wedding dress, and ordered the flowers, and hired the organ player. Oh, and yesterday I talked to Chandler and Joey about being your best man. I could also ask my brother, but he's a little-
Chris: (cutting her off) Woah, woah. How come you're picking my best man?
Mon: Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to do it yourself?
Chris: Uh.....yeah, kinda.
Mon: Oh, okay. I'll give you Chandler and Joey's number, and you can-
Chris: No, I meant that I wanna pick my own best man.
Chris: Well, yeah, isn't that what most people do?
Mon: Well fine, if you wanna be all traditional about it.
Chris: Alright, look. I know you want this to be special for you, and I do too, but I am also in this wedding.
Chris: Hey, your friends can still be in the wedding, I just think it's important that I pick a best man that I've known for longer than a year.
Mon: Okay fine, I'm sorry.
Chris: It's alright, you're new at this.
Mon: Yeah (pause) I can still pick everything alse, right?
Chris: How about everything except the organ player?
Scene: (Rachel, Monica, and Pheobe are at a bridal shop, getting fitted for their dresses. It's about a week before the wedding) *Note: Pheobe and Rachel, are both Monica's maid of honor.
Rach: Oh God Monica, this wedding is going to be so beuatiful. I think I'm gonna cry (puts a hand under he nose)
Phoe: Save it (turns to Monica) So, what about flower girls?
Mon: What about flower girls?
Phoe: Aren't you going to have any?
Mon: Well, I'd like to, but we don't really know any little girls who could do it. Maybe if a certain woman and her husband would start makin' some babies! (looks up at Rachel who is drying her eyes)
Rach: Leave me alone, Monica.
Mon: Sorry. I'm just so excited about the wedding. It's gonna be perfect.
Rach: Alright, stop it you're making me jealous.
Mon: You're already married.
Phoe: Well, I'm really jealous, I don't have anybody.
Mon: Aw Pheebes, you've got us.
Phoe: Yeah, alright, so do you wanna marry me?
Scene: (Rachel is at work, typing something)
Rog: (enters) Hey.
Rach: (surprised) Oh, hey. I havn't seen you in a while.
Rog: Yeah, well.....
Rach: Look you don't need to feel awkward or anything. I'd really like it if we could just forget about every that happened between us.
Rog: I'd like that too.
Rach: (smiles) Good.
Rog: So, what's new with you?
Rach: Well, my friend Monica is getting married tomorrow.
Rog: Oh, are you in the wedding?
Rach: Yeah, I'm her maid of honor.
Rog: Wow, that's great.
Rach: Yeah, she's really excited about it. She's one of those women who started planning her wedding when she was five.
Rach: Yeah. So what's new with you?
Rog: Well uh, no one I know is getting married, so...pretty much nothing.
Rach: I would have asked you to come to the wedding, but.....I wasn't sure if you were ready to be friends again.
Rog: It's okay, don't feel bad. In fact I'm the one who's been feeling bad.
Rach: What for?
Rog: About this whole "thing" between us. I never should have told you I was falling in love with you. I still feel like an idiot.
Rach: So, are you saying you.....don't, anymore?
Rog: Well, I think what meant, was that I was falling in love with you as a friend. I mean you have friends who are guys, right?
Rach: Yeah, sure.
Rog: Right. But I'm still sorry I said it.
Rach: You really don't have to be.
Rog: Great, so are we friends again?
Rach: Of course.
Rog: (smiles) Good. Well I should get back to my office. Let me know how the wedding turns out.
Rach: Okay, see ya.
Rog: See ya. (leaves)
Scene: (That night at Chris' bachelor party. It's at a club, and there are a whole bunch of men there, including Chandler, Joey and Ross. Chandler and Joey are sitting at a table, talking)
Chan: Alright, I don't care what you say, Richard diserved to win.
Joey: Come on, the guy was voluntarily walking around butt-naked on national TV. They should've voted voted him off that island right from the beginning.
Chan: Alright, I just decided that I don't care.
Chan: So were's Ross, you were with him when we first got here.
Joey: Yeah well, he met this hot girl, and they started talking, so I came over here with you.
Chan: You left him alone with the stripper? I can't believe you!
Joey: I know, I should've had her!
Chan: No, Joey, he's married, he shouldn't be hanging out with strippers.
Joey: Well what do you want me to do about it?
Chan: You have to go find Ross, and stop him!
Joey: Stop him from what? This is like a daily routine for Ross.
Chan: Man I wish I had his life.
Joey: I know.
(Cuts to Rachel at her apartpment, watching TV. The phone rings, and she answers it)
Rach: Hello?......Hey Mon (split screen of Rach+Mon talking on the phone)
Mon: (panicking) Rach, I just remembered something.
Mon: I forgot to ask Ross if he has his tuxedo jacket yet.
Rach: Why wouldn't he?
Mon: He was supposed to pick it up himself, and he didn't tell me if he did or not.
Rach: Can't you just ask him tomorrow?
Mon: Tomorrow is the wedding!!!!!
Rach: Okay Mon! What do want me to do about it?
Mon: Can you go to the bar and ask Ross?
Rach: What? No way, you're gonna have to do that yourself.
Mon: I can't go to my fiancee's bachelor party!
Rach: Monica, please, isn't there any other way that we could find out?
Mon: No! It's now or never! You have to do it!
Rach: Alright, I'll do it!
Mon: Thanks. I owe you one.
Rach: You're damn right you do.
Mon: Well, just call me when you get back, okay?
Rach: Bye. (they hang up)
(Cut back to the bachelor party. Ross is talking to a few other guys)
Guy 1: Man, she was so hot. I think she was a stripper too.
Ross: Woah, major score.
Guy 2: How would you even know what a "score" was?
Ross: What are you talking about, I'm married.
Guy 2: Yeah, to that slut from Bloomingdales'.
Ross: (mad) What the hell did you say?
Guy 2: Come on, you can't tell me she actually loves you. There's no way you could ever get a chick like her to marry you. He probably bribed her! (a few other guys laugh. Ross looks really angry)
Ross: At least I can get women.
Guy 2: No, you can get sluts!
(Ross punches him in the face, really hard, and everyone crowds around them as they fight. Meanwhile, Rachel walks in, but turns and leaves when she sees the fight, not knowing that Ross is the one fighting. The fight is getting really bad. Ross gets punched in the face again, and the screen goes black)
Scene: (We see blackness until Ross opens his eyes. Everything is blurry at first. We can now see that Ross is laying on the bed in R+R's bedroom, and Rachel is sitting next to him, washing his face with a wet towl. He has alot of cuts and bruises on his face)
Ross: (weakly) Rach?
Rach: Well at least I now know you're not dead.
Ross: What happened?
Rach: Chandler and Joey brought you home. They said you had a fight.
Ross: Well I-Ow! That stings!
Rach: Well, it'll keep your face from swelling up more than it already is. (pause) So are you gonna tell me what happened?
Ross: This asshole made me do it.
Rach: What did he say?
Ross: You don't wanna know.
Rach: Well than don't tell me. Here hold this on your face while I go get you a bandage.
Ross: Alright. (Rachel leaves, than comes back in a few minutes) So I guess I'm not gonna be in the wedding?
Rach: You can if you want to.
Ross: Right. I'll just tell people I got hit in the face with a bowling ball.
Rach: Don't worry about it.
Ross: But I-
Rach: Sshhhh (strokes his hair) Just rest, baby.
(he closes his eyes, and Rachel just stays, stroking his hair and holding the towl on his head. After while, Ross reaches up, slowly and puts his hand on her cheek, then goes to sleep)
Scene: (It's the next day. The wedding is about to start, and all the ushers, and bridesmaids, and.......everybody who is in the wedding is in this big room, getting ready for the wedding. Ross is there too, wearing his tux, but his face is still a little messed up from the fight. We now focus on Monica, who is in one of the back rooms, getting ready. Rachel and Pheobe are there, helping her)
Rach: Oh Monica, you look so beuatiful.
Mon: Thanks.....I know.
Pho: (sarcasticly) Well at least you're not modest about it.
Mon: (sighs) I can't believe I'm getting married.
Rach: Are you nervous?
Rach: Okay, so I guess you are.
(A woman pokes her head in the door)
Woman: It's time to start ladies.
Mon: Okay, we'll be right out.
Rach: Alright, here we go honey.
Mon: Yep.....I'm gonna get married........I'm.....gonna......get......married (she falls back, but Rach and Pheobe catch her) I'm okay.
Rach: Are you sure?
Mon: Uh huh, let's go (they leave the room)
Scene: (The bridesmaids are walking down the isle, followed by the ring bearer, blah blah blah. "Here comes the bride" starts playing, and everyone stands. Monica starts walking down the isle, smiling. When she gets up there, she and Chris stand next to eachother, facing the minister)
Min(ister): Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today for the marraige of Christopher Larson and Monica Geller. Now Monica, repeat after me. I Monica.
Mon: I Monica.
Min: Take thee Christopher.
Mon: Take thee Christopher.
Min: To be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
Mon: To be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
Min: Do you Monica, take this man to be your husband?
Pho: (whispers) Do.
Mon: (glares at her) I do.
(The same thing repeats for Chris, you know the deal)
Min: You may now kiss the bride.
(They kiss, and everyone claps. We cut to later. It's the reception, in some big party hall. There is a band playing, and everything is decorated. People are crowded around Monica and Chris, and taking pictures and stuff. We focus on Chandler, Joey, and Ross, talking)
Joey: I'm tellin' ya, a middle aged nude man is not what this country needs to see on national TV.
Chan: Would you give it up already? The guy showed his ass, he got the million bucks, let's just forget about it.
Ross: You guys are sad.
Chan/Joey: We know.
(Judy comes up to them)
Judy: Hello boys.
Ross: Hi Mom.
Chan/Joey: Hi Mrs. Geller.
Judy: You all did a wonderful job in the wedding, I was so proud.
Ross: Well, shouldn't you also be proud of Monica?
Judy: Oh I am, but she doesn't always have to be the center of attention (Ross rolls his eyes) Ross, what on earth happened to your face?
Ross: Well, I uh.....I-
Rach: (Coming up to them from behind, and finishing Ross' sentence for him) He got hit in the face with a bowling ball.
Joey: Dude, how stupid could you be? (Chan and Ross give him a look)
Judy: Is that true Ross?
Ross: Uh, y-yeah, that's the truth.
Judy: Well then might I suggest a different activity, because bowling doesn't appear to be one of your talents.
Ross: Right, sure, I'll stay away from it.
Judy: Good. Well, I'll go talk to talk to Monica now. See you later kids (she walks away)
Ross: (to Rachel) Thanks.
Rach: No problem.
(they smile at eachother. Chandler and Joey go somewere else, and they start walking around)
Rach: So, how's your face?
Ross: It's alright, as long I don't touch it. (pause) I forgot to tell you how beuatiful you look today.
Rach: Well, you havn't told me that in a while. (pause) You look really nice too.
Rach: Yeah. (they just smile at eathother again)
Ross: (after a pause) Do you wanna dance?
Rach: What? (really surprised that he said that)
Ross: What? Do you not want to?
Rach: No, I-I'd love to.
Ross: Come on (he takes her hand and they walk over to the dance floor. They start dancing real close, not saying anything)
Rach: So.....what's new?
Ross: Nothing much. What about you?
Rach: Well, I just got promoted a few months ago, so things have been busy.
Ross: You got promoted?
Ross: How come you didn't tell me?
Rach: (shrugs) I don't know, you just never seem interested in what's going on in my life.
(Ross looks down, but doesn't say anything. They just keep dancing real close. Rachel closes her eyes, cherishing the moment. They can feel their breath on eachothers necks as they keep dancing to the slow music. The scene fades out)
Montage: "My First Love" by Avant comes on. We see several shots over a one-month period of R+R.
"Sillouhettes. Of a perfect frain. Shadows of your smile, will always remain. Begginers love, soon fades away. We go on, I will always...."
Ross and Rachel are talking late at night, by the fire. He says something funny and she laughs.
"Long as I live (you will be) My first love (My first love, and my only love) Long as I live (long as I live) My first love.
Ross picks up Rachel from work, but this time is nice about it. He even gets her coat for her:-)
"I'll keep a old candy coated valentine. Memorise of you, when you were mine. A tarnished dream, on a tarnished chain. Time keeps changin' come sun or rain."
Ross and Rachel, walking in the park, holding hands. Ross picks a flower and gives it to Rachel. She smiles sweetly at him. He leans over and FINALLY kisses her.
"Long as I live (you will be) My first love (my first love, and my only love) Long as I live (long as I live, you will be) My first love.
Ross is at work, and one of his friends from the bar comes up to him, obviously asking him were he's been, and if he's coming tonight. Ross tells him something, and the guy leaves, angry. A few minutes later, Rachel comes up to him. They kiss, and leave together, hand in hand. Cuts to Darla, who is glaring after them.
"A tarnished dream, on a tarnished chain. Time keeps changing, come sun or rain. Long as I live. My first love. Long as I live. My first love. My first love, and my only love........
Scene: (R+R enter there aparptment)
Rach: Thanks for bringing me home, Ross.
Ross: Yeah, maybe one of these days that bus strike will be over.
Rach: Uh., yeah.......maybe. (Ross hangs up Rachel and his' coats, and walks over to the couch)
Ross: Wanna see a movie tonight?
Rach: Nah, we've seen everything that's out (goes and sits on the coffee table, facing him) Besides, I'd rather just stay here with you.
Ross: Well I can't argue with that (leans forward so that they are knee to knee, and kisses her, than rests his hands on her knees) So, how are you? (Rachel giggles) What?
Rach: How come you always ask me that?
Ross: (shrugs) I don't know.
Rach: You're cute.
Ross: (smiles) Na uh.
Rach: Ya huh.
Ross: Alright, I'll let you win (she laughs again. They stay silent for a few moments)
Rach: Ya know....I was thinkin'.
Ross: About what?
Rach: Well....I was talking to my Mom the other day. She can't stop pestering me about babies.
Ross: (confused) What babies?
Rach: (looking down, kind of playing with his pants) You know.....our babies.
Ross: Are you kidding, your Dad would kill me. (Rachel just nods, looking kind of dissapointed, but not looking up at Ross. Ross pauses, and smiles) But who cares?
Rach: (looks up at him, surprised) Really?!
Ross: Yeah, let's go for it.
Rach: (really happy) Oh Ross! I can't believe you! (throws her arms around his neck, and hugs him tightly. He smiles widely and hugs her back)
Scene: (The next morning. Rachel enters her office, smiling. Roger is in there, waiting for her)
Rach: (cheerfully) Hello Roger.
Rog: Hey Rach. Wow, you look happy this morning.
Rach: Yeah, well, I'm just having a good day I guess.
Rog: Good. I wish I could say the same for me.
Rach: Why, what's wronge?
Rog: Well I broke up with my girlfriend for one thing.
Rach: I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
Rog: Well I don't anymore. It wasn't serious or anything. It'd still be nice to at least have somebody.
Rach: Aw, I'm sorry. Hey, do you want me to set you up with somebody?
Rog: Well.........If you aren't to busy.
Rach: Oh please, I am never to busy to do stuff like this. I love setting people up. Now let me see, who's available.
Rog: How about that dark haired girl who came to your office that one time?
Rog: Yeah, that's it.
Rach: Well that would work out great if she hadn't have gotten married last month.
Rog: Oh, right. (sarcasticlly) Well be sure to tell her congradulations for me.
Rach: Oh! My friend Pheobe is available.
Rog: Pheobe? That's kind of a wierd name.
Rach: Well, she is a little wierd I guess. But she's also really sweet.
Rach: So how 'bout it?
Rog: Well, alright, why not?
Rach: Great! I'll ask her next time I see her.
Rog: Well just don't make me sound too desperate, alright? That's kind of one of the reasons my last relationship ended.
Rach: Okay, I won't.
Rog: Good, thanks. Well I'll see you later.
Rach: Okay, see ya (he leaves)
Scene: (Ross is at work, sitting at a desk. Darla comes up to him)
Dar: Hey Ross
Ross: Oh, hey Darla.
Dar: Whatcha doin'?
Ross: Uh....my job.
Dar: Oh, right.......me too. So what are you doing later?
Ross: Uh, I don't know. I'll probably just hang out at home.
Dar: Ya know, there's that party at Chad's house this weekend. I hear it's gonna be pretty wild.
Ross: Yeah, it was pretty wild last year. A little too wild actually.
Dar: But.....you're still going, right?
Ross: Nah, I don't think so.
Dar: Why not?
Ross: I don't know, I don't really feel like partying.
Dar: Why, did your wife leave you, or something?
Dar: (under her breath) Damn.
Dar: Nothing. Well, I guess i'll see ya around.
Dar: (evily) Bye Rossy.(walks away)
Ross: (to himself) Rossy? (shakes his head and gets back to work)
Scene: (Phoebe's aparptment)
Rach: (following her around) Come on Pheebes! He's really cute, and he has a mustache. You love guys with mustache's.
Phoe: No I don't! (pause) Okay, so I do.
Rach: So why can't you do it?
Phoe: Because! If I go on a blind date it will go against my beliefs!
Rach: What are your beliefs?
Phoe: To never go on blind dates!
Rach: Phoebe, please! I promise you, you will love him
Scene: (Monica and Chris' house. Picture it to be a large suburban house, very clean (of course) Anyways....everybody is there, including Jack and Judy, and even Ross. Yes! he's actually involved in a family get-together. The guys are in the living room, watching TV, and the women are in the kitchen, cooking)
Judy: So, Monica.
Mon: (knowing that she is about to judge her for something) Yes mom?
Judy: When are you and Chris planning on adding to the family?
Judy: When am I going to have some grand-children to baby-sit?
Mon: Isn't it a little early to be thinking about that?
Judy: Well, you two have been married for nearly a month now.
Mon: Ross and Rachel have been married for over two years, why don't you bug them?
Judy: Well....that's different.
Mon: How the hell is it different?
Judy: Well, because Rachel used to be the head cheerleader, and Ross was the smartest boy in high school, and-
(*Note-I know I said that Ross is not at all a geek, but let's say that he was in high school, but then he changed. After all, Ross isn't Ross without science:)
Mon: (cutting her off) So you're saying that because I was fat and unpopular in high school that I should be expected to have babies sooner than my brother?
Pho: Yeah, that actually doesn't make any sense at all. (they shoot her a "mind-your-own-buissness" look)
Judy: That's not what I'm saying at all.
Mon: Well than what are you saying?
Judy: Well, I guess I just always assumed that by the time you reached your early twenties, you would have started a family.
Mon: Rachel is the same age as I am.
Rach: Actually I'm younger (Monica glares at her)
Judy: This isn't about Rachel.
Mon: Than what is it about, huh? Is it because I'm the youngest? Or is it all just a part of you liking Ross better than me?
Judy: You know that niether of those things are true, and just for the record, Ross would never dare take that tone of voice with me!
Mon: Well here's something else for your record! For the past two years, Ross has done nothing but completely ignore Rachel and everybody else. He works all day and hangs out at bars all night long. Did you know that, Mom?
Judy: Don't you dare lie about your brother like that!
Mon: It's the truth! Just ask Rachel!
Judy: (turns to Rachel) Is that true, Rachel?
Rach: (looks over at Monica, than at Judy) Well, uh.......it uh, it could be partly true.
Mon: See, there you go! Who would know better than his own wife?
Judy: (looks a little shocked) I-I had no idea. I just always assumed that Ross was a good husband.
Judy: (cutting her off) I'm so sorry Rachel, I thought that you and Ross were happy together (Rachel opens her mouth to say something, but decides not to)
Mon: Mom, I think it's time you and Dad had a little talk with your perfect son.
Rach: No, you really don't need-
Judy: No no, dear, Monica's right. This can't go on forever (she leaves the room, and Rachel looks down, knowing that she just got Ross in trouble)
Scene: (It's later that night. Rachel is standing out on Mon and Chris' porch, thinking about something. After a few minutes, Ross enters angrily)
Ross: What the hell's your problem?
Rach: (startled) What?
Ross: What are doing, telling my parents all this crap about me ignoring you, and hanging out at bars all night?
Rach: I didn't tell them that. And it's not crap, it's fact!
Ross: What do you mean it's fact, you don't think I love you?
Rach: How would I know?
Ross: I've spent the past month doing nothing but spending every spare moment I've had with you!
Rach: How about the past two years?! You've completely ignored me, Ross. No matter how hard I tried to make you notice me, it's like you don't even know that I exist (pause) Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me?
Ross: Well you ignored me too.
Rach: Well, after a while it just seemed hopeless, so I gave up. You ignored me so much that I don't even know you anymore (long pause, and Rachel looks at him, really hurt) And I have never gotton and aplology from you.
Ross: I think you're the one who should be apologizing to me!
Rach: For what?
Ross: For making my parents think that I'm nothing but a pig-headed jerk. They used to think I was perfect.
Rach: Yeah, well I got a little sectret for ya, Ross. You are nowere near perfect.
Ross: I do the best that I can!
Rach: Well your best sure as hell isn't good enough (pause)
Ross: I'm leaving. (turns and walks off the porch, to the car)
Rach: Were are you going?!
Ross: Home! (keeps walking)
Rach: So, what am I supposed to do?
Ross: (yells to her from the drive-way) Do whatever you want, I don't care.
Rach: (yells after him) When have you ever cared, Ross?! (softly, to herself) When have you ever cared? (she watches him drive away, and breaks down into tears)
Scene: (Even later that night. Everyone has left, and Rachel and Monica are cleaning up the kitchen)
Mon: You just let him put you down like that?
Rach: What else was I going to do?
Mon: Maybe try putting him down for a change?
Rach: I tried, but I don't think he listened. And I wasn't even the one who said all those things to your Mom, anyway.
Mon: But you told her it was the truth.
Rach: Yeah, cause other wise you would've been mad at me.
Mon: Wait, so you would rather have your husband scream at you and take off without you than have your friend be slightly aggravated with you? I appreiciate it but I really don't think you made the smartest choice.
Rach: (stops cleaning and gets angry) Monica, what am I supposed to do, huh? Do you have any idea what it's like for the man who you love most in the world to completely ignore you? I do all that I can just to be in the same room as him, but it's hard! But these last few weeks, he's been different. Really different (looks down) And now it's all ruined.
Mon: Rach I'm sorry. You're right, I don't have any idea what it's like to be in your position. I'm so sorry I said those things to my Mom. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that.
Rach: (sniffs) It's okay, Mon. I don't blame you for anything.
Mon: Aw, honey come here. (they hug)
Rach: (sighs) So what am I going to do now?
Mon: I don't know (pause) What do you think you should do?
Rach: Well, I guess I should apologize.
Mon: Ugh, Rachel (breaks the hug) You've been married longer than I have, and sometimes you act like you're still in high school.
Rach: What do you mean?
Mon: You didn't do anything wronge, remember?
Mon: So why should you be the one to apologize when he's the one who's being a jerk?
Rach: He's not going to apologize to me, he never does.
Mon: Well, then I think there's something wronge there.
Rach: Ugh, God, you're right. (leans her elbows on the counter, and puts her face in her hands)
Mon: Rach, it's okay. You didn't do anything wronge.
Rach: (not looking up) But he thinks I did.
(Monica just hugs her and the scene fades out)
Scene: (Later that night. Monica and Chris have gone to bed, and Rachel is on the couch. All the lights are out, and she obviously can't sleep. She's just laying there, thinking about something (I wonder what) *Everything is in Rachel's head.
Mon: (in Rachel's head) "You've been married longer than I have and sometimes you still act like you're in high school."......... "Why should you apologize when he's the one who's being a jerk?".......... "You didn't do anything wronge, remember?"............. "I think there's something wronge there".......... "You didn't do anything wronge"......... "You didn't do anything wronge".......... "You didn't do anything wronge"........
(Monica's voice fades away. Rachel looks deep in thought)
Rach: (Repeats to herself) I didn't do anything wronge (she gets up quickly and leaves the room. We focus on the empty couch)
Scene: (R+R's aparptment. We go around the dark living room, until Rachel enters, quickly, slamming the door. She immidiately goes into the bedroom, were Ross is sleeping)
Rach: (Loudly) Why did you marry me? (Ross doesn't wake up. She flicks the light on and off until he wakes up)
Ross: (sleepily) Huh? What are you doing?
Rach: (Loud) Why did you marry me?
Rach: (imitating him) Huh? Huh? Don't you know how to say anything else?!
Ross: What the hell is wronge with you?
Rach: Get out of bed, and talk to me!
Ross: (rubbs his eyes) It's three in the morning!
Rach: I don't care, get up!
Ross: No way, leave me alone.
(he rolls over, and Rachel angrily goes over to him, and grabs him by the skin (he's only wearing boxers))
Ross: Ah! What are you doing?!
(She pulls him up, and drags him out of bed, into the living room)
Ross: Do you need me to take you to a mental institution, or something?
(Rachel doesn't say anything. She just pushes him ruffly, onto the couch)
Rach: (demanding) Now, why did you marry me?!
Ross: What kind of question is that?
Rach: It's a question that I want an answer to!
Ross: (yawns) Let me put a shirt on, i'm cold (he tries to get up but she pushes him back down)
Rach: I don't give a damn if you're cold! Answer the question!
Ross: (saracsticlly) What was the question again? (Rachel just glares at him) Alright, alright. I married you because, uh.........
Rach: If you don't finish the sentence in five seconds, we are getting a divorce!
Ross: Ya know what, I don't have time for this. (he gets up and starts walking back to the bedroom. Rachel jumps on him and pins him to the floor)
Rach: Answer the question!
Ross: Alright, alright. I married you because....
Rach: Because what?!
Ross: (kind of shy) Because......because. I love you, Rach.
Rach: (her expression doesn't change, but she stops shouting) Why do you love me?
Ross: Why do I love you? (she nods. He pauses for a moment) Well, I love everything about you. Your smile. Your personality. The way you pretend to be adjusting the rear-view mirror, but you're really checking on your hair. I mean.......what's not to love about you?
Rach: (her voice kind of hoarse cause she's holding back tears. She talks very softly) Really?
Ross: (nods) Well, yeah. I don't think I've ever felt as strongly about anything else in my life.
(Rachel now has tears in her eyes, and just stares at Ross, still ontop of him. After a long pause, she gets up)
Rach: No, wait a minute! You've hurt me Ross. More than you'll ever know. I feel like I've been living with a stranger for the past two years (looks at him, really hurt) You don't even know me.
Ross: (gets up) Well what do you want me say Rachel? I do what I have to do! I work all day, at night I just wanna hang out and have fun. I don't know what else you want to hear out of me. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but-
Rach: (cuts him off) THAT'S IT!
Ross: What's it?
Rach: That's what I want to hear! That you're sorry!
Ross: What? That's all you wanted to hear out of me?
Rach: Well believe it or not, Ross. You have never apologized for ANYTHING that you've ever done to hurt me (they pause and he just stares at her blankly. Rachel speaks softly) I think I'll go back to Monica's now. (she starts to leave. Just before she reaches the door, Ross turns and stops her)
Ross: Rachel wait (she turns around) Don't go.
Rach: I don't have any reason to stay here.
Ross: (walks towards her) Yes you do. You've got me (takes her hands) Please.......I don't want to loose you, anymore than I already have.
Rach: (sniffs and holds back tears) Are you sure?
Ross: (nods and smiles) I love you, baby.
(They finally hug, tightly. Rachel cries onto his bare shoulder, and he strokes her hair)
Rach: (whisper) I love you too.
Scene: (A few hours later. We can tell that Ross and Rachel have been talking for a long time)
Rach: And then......he kissed me.
Rach: That's just the beginning. The next day, he came to my office and told me that he was in love with me.
Ross: That bastard! Next time I see him, I'll-
Rach: (calm) Ross.
Ross: Sorry. So what did you do?
Rach: I didn't really know what to do. He kinda stayed away from me for a few weeks after that.
Ross: Wait, so he's still working with you?
Ross: And you still see him every day?
Rach: Honey, don't worry, nothing happened, and nothing is going to happen.
Ross: (nods) Okay.
Ross: You met Tony at my 21st birthday party. And we went to high school with Chad.
Rach: We did?
Ross: Yeah, he was the one who drilled a peep-whole through the door of the girls locker room.
Rach: Oh! we used to make Monica stand in front of that whole while we were changing.
Ross: You saw the fight?
Rach: Yeah, I came to the bar to ask you something for Monica, but then I left.
(A few hours later. It's morning and Ross and Rachel are asleep on the couch......)
Scene: (A few days later. Roger is in his office, packing stuff up. Rachel enters)
Rach: Hey Roger, do you- (sees him packing) What are you doing?
Rog: Well, I uh, I'm leaving.
Rach: What? Why?
Rog: Are you sure you want me to tell you?
Rach: Well, yeah, of course.
Rog: Alright. Here goes. Rachel, I'm in love with you.
Rach: But I thought you said-
Rog: (cutting her off) I know I said that I wasn't, but........no matter how hard I try, I just can't hide it any longer. And if I stay here, my feelings'll only grow stronger. I don't want to mess anything up for you, and if I stay here than that's what's gonna happen.
Rach: Roger, no, please don't leave because of me. You love this job, you said you've wanted to work here since you were a little kid! Look, I'll stay away from you, and you'll never have to see me again. Just don't leave because of me.
Rog: (thinks, but then shakes his head) Rach, I know what will happen if I stay here. I have to leave, it's the right thing to do. (sighs and looks around his office) Well, I guess that's everything.
Rach: What? You're leaving now?
Rog: Yeah, I have to. Well, goodbye Rachel. I hope you have a nice life.
Rach: Well how 'bout I call you and we can get together sometime?
Rog: (shakes his head) I really think it's best if we not see eachother anymore. (pause) Look, I hope you're not gonna feel bad about this.
Rach: Well, yeah I am gonna feel bad about it. I mean if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be leaving.
Rog: (nods) Well I'm sorry you feel that way. I gotta go.
Rach: (nods) Okay. (they hug)
Rach: Bye (He turns and leaves, and she watches him sadly)
Scene: (R+R's aparptment. Ross is there, and Rachel enters)
Ross: Hi honey.
Rach: (sad) Hi.
Ross: What's wronge?
Rach: (whines) I feel bad.
Rach: Well you know that Roger guy who's in love with me? He quit today.
Ross: (sarcasticly) I'm crushed.
Rach: Ross! I feel horrible, he left a job that he loves, just so he wouldn't mess up my life.
Ross: Well, than I guess he did the right thing.
Rach: Yeah, I guess.......but I still feel bad.
Ross: Hm........so I guess this puts a burden on sex, huh?
(She smiles and playfully hits him with a couch pillow)
Scene: (Mon+Chris' house. Rachel and Mon are there)
Rach: I've got it!
Rach: Well, a couple weeks ago, Roger asked me to set him up with Pheobe, but she said no!
Mon: (sarcasticly) Great! Problem solved!
Rach: No, that means all I have to do is convince Pheobe to go out with him!
Rach: And then, he'll fall in love with her, which means he'll get over me, which means he can come back to work!
Rach: God, I'm brilliant! Well I gotta go talk to Pheobe! See ya Mon!
Scene: (Ross is at work)
Dar: (enters) Yeah, Ross?
Ross: Were have you been for the past hour?
Dar: Oh, I was on my break.
Ross: It's 11 o'clock!
Ross: Yes, really! You don't go on your break until noon!
Dar: Okay, I'm sorry.
Ross: Yeah, you're gonna be even sorrier tommorrow when you don't get a break at all!
Dar: Chill out Ross, why are you acting like this?
Ross: Because I'm tired of you not taking your job seriously!
Dar: Wait a minute I realized something. You don't have the right to order me around!
Ross: That's right, I don't. But the boss does.
Dar: You told the boss?!
Dar: Do you have any idea how dorky that makes you?
Ross: Well excuse me for acting like an adult!
Dar: Ugh! (walks away angrily. Ross stares after her)
(cut to Darla, who enters the next room, were other people are working)
Girl: What's wronge with you?
Dar: It's Ross, he yelled at me.
Girl: So does that mean you don't want him anymore?
Dar: Are you kidding? I want him more than ever!
Dar: Nothing turns me on more than a man who knows how to put his foot down.
Scene: (Pheobe's house)
Pho: No! I am not gonna go out on a blind date just to make you feel better!
Rach: But Pheebes, look at it this way. You'll be helping me out, and you'll be giving a man his job back! Plus, you get to go out with a great guy!
Pho: If you think he's so great, than why don't you go out with him?
Rach: Uh..........BECAUSE I'M7 MARRIED???
Pho: Oh, that's true.
Rach: (rolls her eyes) Phoebe, please? If you don't like him, you can hate me forever.
Pho: I don't want to hate you forever!
Rach: Then I'll do anything you want!
Pho: Oh, alright.
Rach: Oh, thank you, thank you, Pheebes! I won't forget this.
Pho: I won't forget this either, and that can be dangerous!
Scene: (R+R's. Rachel is there, reading)
Rach: Hi honey (walks over and kisses him) Guess what?
Rach: We're going on a double-date tonight.
Ross: Oh, with Monica and Chris?
Rach: No, with Pheobe and Roger.
Ross: Roger? The guy who's in love with you? I thought he quit.
Rach: He did, but I'm thinking if he likes Pheobe, than maybe that will help him get over me, than he can come back to work.
Ross: And Pheobe just agreed to go on a blind date?
Rach: Well, it took a while to convince her, but she's gonna do it. So.....you'll be a good boy, right?
Ross: Yes mommy, I promise.
Scene: (A restaraunt. Rachel, Ross, Pheobe, and Roger are at a table)
Rog: Oh come on, you totally went crazy!
Rach: I did not! I was just worried that it wouln't get done!
Rog: Well hey, if it weren't for you, I don't think I would have ever remebered to do anything.
(Pheobe and Ross look bored, and Rachel notices)
Rach: So Pheebes, did you tell Roger what you do?
Pho: (quickly) Oh yeah, I massage people.
Rog: Really? I would kill for a good massage.
Rach: Well maybe we could arrange that.
(Phoebe shoots her a look. Rachel nudges Ross to say something)
Ross: So, I hear the chicken is really good here.
Rog: Oh, I'm a vegitarien.
Pho: Really? Me too.
Pho: Yeah, don't you think it's horrible the way society takes advantage of innocent animals?
Rog: Totally! If I was president, I'd make it a law that nobody could eat meat.
Pho: Well, ya know.........
(they start talking, and Rachel looks at Ross)
Rach: (interupts) Oh, shoot!
Rach: I just remembered, me and Ross have plans.
Pho: You do?
Ross: We do? Oh. right! Yeah, we have to go to the uh, the library to uh, to study.
Rog: Oh, are you working on your P.H.D?
Rach: Yeah, it closes soon, so we gotta go!
Rach: See ya! (grabs Ross' hand and they leave quickly)
Scene: (R+R enter their aparptment)
Rach: Oh, that was so lame!
Ross: I know, imagine me getting a P.H.D!
Rach: (shrugs) I could imagine that.
Ross: Really? You could see me as like a science geek, or something?
Rach: Hey, I think you would make a very sexy science geek.
Ross: And you would make a sexy waitress.
Ross: Nothing, just an old high school fantasy.
Rach: You had fantasies about me being a waitress?
Ross: Uh.....possibly. Maybe I'll look into the science stuff.
Rach: Yeah, but I think I'll stick to fasion if you don't mind.
Ross: So......what do you feel like doing tonight?
Rach: Well, I don't particularly want to go to the library.
Ross: Me neither.
(Rachel just smiles at him, and he smiles back)
Ross: Tell me how cute I am again.
Rach: (giggles and walks over and puts her hands on his chest) Well.......you are cute.
Ross: How cute?
Rach: So cute.....that I can barely stop myself from kissing you all over.
Ross: (smiles) Really?
Rach: (nods) Oh yeah.....
(they start kissing, and things start to get really hot. They start undressing, and Ross pulls her over to the couch)
Rach: (her lips glued to his) Aren't we forgetting something?
Rach: (makes him stop kissing her) Uh, yeah honey, we are. Here hold on, I'll be right back.
Ross: (pulls her down) No.......don't (he smiles at her, sweetly)
Rach: (really happy) Are you serious??!!
Ross: Yeah, why not?!
(She just starts kissing him again)
Rach: I love you.
Ross: I love you too.
Scene: (The next morning. Rachel walks into her office, really happy)
Rach: (all dreamy) mmm, I love my life!.....(looks around her office) And I also have nobody to talk to (her phone rings, and she answers it) Hello?
Rog: Hey Rach.
Rach: Hey. Wow, you havn't sounded this happy in a while. How'd the date go?
Rog: It went great! Thank you so much for setting me up with Pheobe, she's terrific!
Rach: That's so great! So when are you guys going out again?
Rog: Tonight. I'm taking her to that night club, the same one that we went to.
Rach: Really? On the second date?
Rog: It feels more like our tenth date!
Rach: Oh, God! That makes me sooo happy!
Rog: Me too! Well, I'll let you get back to work.
Rach: Okay, bye Roger.
(They hang up)
Scene: (R+R's aparptment. Rachel is there, and Ross enters home from work)
Ross: Hi sweetie.
Rach: Hi honey! (goes over and kisses him. They just stay in a hug) mm, did you have a good day?
Ross: The best.
Rach: Me too.
Ross: Good (pause) Hey would you mind if I uh, went out with the guys tonight?
Rach: Well.....no, I guess not.
Rach: (shrugs) Sure, go ahead.
Ross: Oh, great, thanks, you're the best! (hugs her tight)
Rach: I know.
Scene: (Later that night. Rachel and Monica are hanging out)
Rach: Okay truth or dare?
Rach: Okay, did you have a crush on Chandler when you first met him?
Mon: Chandler?! Are you serious?!
Rach: Oh, come on! Not even when you first met him?
Mon: (shakes her head) No way! But I did have a crush on Joey when I first met him.
Rach: Oh, yeah, deffinately. Alright, now you go.
Mon: Okay, truth or dare?
Rach: (thinks) Dare!
Mon: Hmmmm......were is Ross tonight?
Rach: Oh, he's out with the guys.
Mon: And you gave him permission?
Rach: Yeah, why?
Mon: Don't you remember Ross from a few months ago?
Rach: Yeah, so? He's not like that anymore.
Mon: Well okay then, that's your dare.
Rach: What is?
Mon: You have to go down to the bar and tell Ross that you love him, right in front of his friends. Then we'll see if he's really a changed man.
Rach: No way, I am not gonna do that.
Mon: Okay then. I guess I've prooved you wronge.
Rach: No you havn't.
Mon: Yes I have, otherwise you would do it.
Rach: (thinks) Alright fine, I'll do it. But only because I want to proove you wronge!
Scene: (The bar....yes, that bar. Ross is standing around a bunch of people, including Darla. They are all talking and laughing, and we can tell that Darla is flirting with Ross)
Dar: So, Ross.
Dar: What made you decide to come back?
Ross: I don't know, I just missed you guys a little.
Dar: A little, or alot?
Ross: Maybe alot.
Dar: I thought so. So how's the little wife? Regina, is it?
Ross: Rachel. She's fine, why?
Dar: Oh nothing. I just always thought it was odd the way you used to work all day, and hang out all night. Now it's like you're a changed man.
Ross: I'm still the same guy.
Dar: Well than I guess you won't mind if I do this
(she kisses him hard on the lips. Ross looks a little uncomfortable at first, but doesn't make any attempt to stop it. Slowly he begins to drift back into his old self. He wraps his arms around Darla's waist, and she puts her hands on his face. At this time, Rachel enters the bar. Some guys try to talk to her, but she pays no attention. She looks around for Ross, until she sees him, making out with Darla. A look of complete shock comes over her, and she quickly runs out the door)
Scene: (Rachel's parents' house. She obviously was so hurt that she went as far away as she could. It's very late at night, and Rachel is asleep on the couch. Her parents are standing over her, watching her sleep)
San(dra): Poor little dear. She's heart-broken.
Dr. Green: I wonder what he did to her?
San: She didn't say. It must have been something really awful for her to come all the way out here to stay with us.
Dr. Green: Well he better not have hurt my little girl.
San: Oh, I hope they'll work it out. They do make the sweetest couple.
Dr. Green: Oh, they'll work it out.
San: You really think so?
Dr. Green: Of course. She loves that boy more than anything. Although I can't imangine why.
San: (nods) Well let's go to bed before we wake her.
Dr. Green: Alright. (they leave)
Scene: (Monica and Chris' house the next morning. It's early and they are asleep. There is a knock on the door, and Monica comes downstaires, yawning)
Mon: Alright, I'm coming. (opens the door to see Ross standing there) Ross?
Ross: Were is she?
Ross: Rachel, I can't find her anywere.
Mon: Well I don't know were she is.
Ross: Well you were with her last night, weren't you?
Mon: Yeah, but-
Ross: (cutting her off) Well, were is she?
Mon: Calm down Ross, here, come inside (He comes in and they sit on the couch) So, was she there when you came home?
Ross: No, she was gone. Are you sure she's not here?
Mon: Well, yeah, I think I would know it if she was in my house.
Ross: Well when was the last time you saw her?
Mon: Well, we were playing truth or dare, and I dared her to go down to the bar and tell you something, but she didn't come home so I just assumed that she stayed there with you.
Ross: (stands up) Well then were could she have gone?!
Mon: I don't know Ross, are you sure you didn't see her at the bar?
Ross: No, I'm sure I didn't.
Mon: Well then maybe she couldn't find you.
Ross: Yeah, but.........(pauses and gets a worried face) Wait a minute, what time did she leave to go to the bar?
Mon: I don't know, around midnight.
Ross: Oh no!!
Ross: She must have saw me making out with Darla!
Mon: What?! How could you get let yourself get that drunk!?
Ross: I wasn't drunk!
Mon: Well, then that's even worse! What the hell were you thinking?!
Ross: I don't know, she just started kissing me and I didn't know what to do!
Mon: You should've made her stop! You're a married man!
Ross: Well it's not like I've never kissed other women while I was married before!
Mon: Are you still wondering why you can't find your wife?
Ross: Well I don't see why she would go and leave me! Nothing happened with Darla, we were just kissing!
Mon: (shakes her head) Oh my God. You are such a jerk!
Mon: What do you mean, what?! Grow up, Ross! You're lucky Rachel didn't leave you two years ago!
Ross: But I wasn't the one who kissed her!
Mon: It's not just that! I'm sick of you hurting Rachel. I'm sick of seeing her cry because her big, strong, pig-headed husband doesn't know how to be an adult!
Ross: I do the best I can!
Mon: Well if I were you, I'd make a pretty big improvement, because your best sure as hell isn't good enough!
Ross: (sighs, and drops down in a chair) So, what should I do now?
Mon: (shrugs) Pray that she hasn't already filed for a divorce.
Scene: (The Green's house. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Her eyes are red from crying)
San: (enters) Here Rachel I found one of your old outfits from high school that you could wear (holds up a real slutty leather mini-skirt, and a cut-off shirt)
Rach: No thanks mom, I'll just wear this for now.
San: Okay. (pauses and looks at her) Are you sure you're alright dear?
Rach: (nods) Uh, yeah, I'm okay.
San: (sits down next to her) What did he do?
Rach: (looks up at her) Well........
San: Come on sweetie, you can tell me.
Rach: (pause, and holds back tears) I just wonder sometimes, if he really loves me.......I mean, he sais he does, but............I can never tell for sure.
San: Are you going to leave him?
Rach: (sniffs) Well..........I guess so. I don't think I can live like this any longer.
San: (long pause) Do you love him?
Rach: (starts crying and nods) Yes.
San: Aw, come here (hugs her)
Rach: (sobbing) I love him so much........
Scene: (A couple nights later. It's around midnight, and we can hear the rain pouring outside. We go around the Green's dark living-room, looking at all their pictures of Rachel and her sisters, and one of Ross and Rachel on their wedding day. Their is a soft knock on the door. After a long, silent pause, Rachel walks into the room, wearing a satin robe. She hesitates at opening the door, because she knows who it is. After a pause, she slowly opens the door, to reveal Ross standing there, soaking wet. He looks at her with puppy eyes, and she looks at him, really hurt. They stare for a long time)
Ross: (softly) I don't think there's anything I can say that would make you forgive me for half the things I've done to hurt you (her expression doesn't change) I love you......I hope you know that (long pause) I'm such an jerk. I can't believe you havn't left me already (another long pause, as she just stares at him, blankly) Look.........anything you want to do to me, I diserve it.......I just want you to know, that since the day we met.......not a moment has passed by that I havn't been in love with you.......but I don't really know how I can show you that, but uh.....here's a start (He gets down on one knee and gets her hand) Rachel......will you marry me? And let me be the husband that you always wanted?
(She slowly breaks into a smile, crying)
Ross: (smiles) Is that a yes?
(She just steps out into the rain and kisses him passionately (we'll take that as a yes!)) The scene slowly fades out, and we all remember, that once love comes around, it never goes away:)