THE ONE WITH RACHEL'S MISTAKE
Written by: firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
CENTRAL PERK (Joey, Chandler and Ross are present)
Joey: You know what I was wondering?
Chandler: No and I don’t want to know.
Joey: When Wonder Woman flew her invisible jet, you couldn't see the jet but you could see her.
Ross: And your point is?
Joey: What's the purpose of having an invisible jet if everyone can see you sitting in it?
(Chandler and Ross nod in agreement)
CENTRAL PERK (Joey, Chandler and Ross are still there)
Joey: You know what else I was wondering?
Chandler: Now what?
Joey: How does Spiderman swing on his web? Don't spider webs break easily?
Ross: Joey, who cares? Spiderman's not even real. He's a cartoon.
Joey: Oh. (pause) But I was just reading that they're making a Spiderman movie and that Tobey MacGuire is Spiderman.
Joey: Well isn't Tobey MacGuire Spiderman?
Ross: In the movie. There is no Spiderman in reality.
Joey: Well then why are they making a movie about him?
CHANDLER & MONICA'S APARTMENT (Monica and Phoebe are present)
Phoebe: How are the wedding plans coming along?
Monica: Great. We’re almost finished. The only major thing left to do is to find my dress.
Phoebe: How about I make you one?
Monica: That would be great Pheebs.
Monica: No. But I appreciate your offer.
Phoebe: Hey Rach, how was work?
Rachel: Oh, I've got a problem, I've got a major problem.
Monica: What is it? Were you fired?
Phoebe: Well then you don't have a major problem.
Monica: What is it Rach?
Rachel: There's this new guy at work who is totally gorgeous and I think he likes me.
Phoebe: Why is that a major problem?
Rachel: Because it is exactly the same circumstance which led to Ross and I's breakup the first time. Ross was totally jealous of Mark, we fought, he slept with the Copy girl, and then we were history.
Monica: That doesn't mean it's going to happen again. Both you and Ross have grown a lot since then.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ross realizes that he made a major mistake the first time. He's not going to let that happen again.
Rachel: I am not worried about Ross.
Monica: Then what's the problem?
Rachel: I am worried about me.
JOEY'S APARTMENT (Joey, Chandler and Ross are present)
Joey: How does Aquaman breathe underwater? He doesn't have gills.
Chandler: Joey, what is it with your obsession with cartoon super heroes?
Joey: I don't have an obsession with cartoons.
Ross: Yes, you do. First it was Wonder Woman and Spiderman. Now it's Aquaman. What's next, Superman?
Joey: That's a good question. How does Superman fly?
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross and Rachel are lying in bed)
Ross: Are you ok?
Rachel: I'm fine, why?
Ross: You seem quiet tonight. Did I do something wrong?
Rachel: No. I guess I'm just tired.
Ross: How's work?
Ross: 'Cause I am interested?
Rachel: Work is fine.
Ross: Alright, what's wrong Rach?
Rachel (snappy): I told you, nothing is wrong. I'm fine.
Ross: Then why are you being so short with me?
Rachel: I am sorry. I am just tired. I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight.
Ross: Goodnight, I love you.
Rachel: I love you too.
RALPH LAUREN (Rachel is on the phone when her new co-worker enters)
Rachel (on the phone, motions for her co-worker to sit down): Ok, I'll get you those orders in an hour. Bye. (to man) Brad, what can I do for you?
Brad: Uh, nothing really. Uh actually, I was wondering if you'd have lunch with me?
Rachel: Sure, I can do that. What time?
Brad: How about one?
Rachel: Sounds great. I'll see you then.
CENTRAL PERK (Monica and Ross are present)
Ross: Something's wrong with Rach. She's been acting really distant. Has she said anything to you?
Monica: No, not really. She said she was having a hard time at work.
Ross: Like what?
Monica: She really didn't say.
Ross: I feel like I'm losing her. How can I pull her back?
Monica: Maybe you should surprise her at work. Take her to lunch.
Ross: Yeah. That's a great idea. Thanks Mon. I'm gonna take her to lunch.
RALPH LAUREN (Rachel is returning from lunch with Brad, they stop at her open office door)
Rachel: Thanks for lunch. Maybe we can do it again sometime.
Brad: I'd really like that. Well I better get back to work. My supervisor is really strict about our time.
Rachel: Who's your supervisor?
Brad: Julia Owens.
Rachel: Yeah, she's a real bitch. Well again, thanks for lunch. I'll see you later.
(Rachel turns to walk away when Brad suddenly grabs her and kisses her)
Brad: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.
Rachel: It's ok. I'll see you later.
(Rachel turns to go into her office and sees Ross sitting behind her desk. A feeling of tremendous guilt overcomes her).
Rachel: Ross, what are you doing here?
Ross: Well I came to take you to lunch, but apparently you've been having lunch and dessert with someone else.
Rachel: It's not what you think.
Ross: Really? And what is it that I think?
Rachel: There's nothing going on between Brad and I.
Ross: So kissing people goodbye is part of your office etiquette?
Rachel: No. That was a mistake. Brad doesn't know I have a boyfriend.
Ross: Had. Had a boyfriend.
Rachel: Your kidding. You're gonna break up with me over this?
Ross: You did it to me.
Rachel: That's not fair. I thought we were past that.
Ross: You've been so distant lately, at least now I know why. You're in love with someone else. I'll see you later.
Rachel (rushes pass Ross and closes her office door): Ross, don't go. I'm not in love with anyone else but you. You have to believe me. I didn't want to kiss Brad.
Ross: This is all too familiar for me. You did the same thing when you worked with Mark. He became your friend, broke us up, and then pounced on you as soon as I was out of the picture. Except this time you're kissing the guy behind my back.
Rachel: I told you, I didn't mean to kiss him.
Ross: Please. It's kind of easy not to kiss someone. Look at us, not kissing. Now move and let me go home. Oh, and you better find a place to stay, 'cause I want you out. We're finished.
Rachel (crying): Ross please, don't do this. I'm so sorry. I swear, Brad means nothing to me. I love you.
(Ross leaves, Rachel closes her door and continues to cry).
CHANDLER & MONICA'S APARTMENT (Chandler and Monica are present.)
Chandler: I'm telling ya, Joey is obsessed with super hero cartoons. I caught him acting like the Wonder Twins.
Monica: He was acting like the Wonder Twins?
Chandler: He kept acting like he was the remote control to change the channel on the TV.
(Ross enters, it is apparent he is mad)
Monica: What's wrong Ross?
Ross: Not much.
Monica: Are you mad?
Ross: No, what would make you think that?
Chandler: Maybe because you slammed the door shut?
Ross: I'm not mad. I'm fine. I mean, who wouldn't be fine after catching their girlfriend kissing another man.
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel kissed the new guy at work?
Ross (loudly): You knew about him?
Monica (quietly): No.
Ross: I don't believe this. I asked you earlier if there was anything wrong with Rachel and you said no. You lied to me.
Monica: I didn't lie to you. The only thing she said was that she was nervous about being around the new guy at work because of what happened between you two when she worked with Mark. She also said that she thought that the new guy liked her.
Ross: Well apparently Rachel likes him too.
Chandler: Are you sure?
Ross: She kissed him!
Monica: And how do you know Rachel wanted to kiss the guy? Maybe he was just too forward. Maybe she was caught off guard like you were.
Chandler: She's got a point. Don't forget, you kissed Rebecca after you and Rachel started dating again and Rebecca was naked to boot.
Ross: I didn't kiss Rebecca. She kissed me.
Monica: And maybe Rachel didn't kiss the guy, maybe he just kissed her.
Ross: Then why did she tell him it was ok after he apologized for doing it?
Chandler: She said that?
Ross: Yeah, and she told him that she'd have lunch again with him.
Monica: Maybe she was just being nice.
Ross: Being nice? Being nice with her tongue down his throat?
Ross: Speak of the devil, or should I say kisser.
Rachel: Ross, we have to talk.
Ross: Well you're going to have to wait, I have to be somewhere.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Ross: Where ever you aren't. Don't forget to get your stuff out of my apartment.
(Ross leaves, Rachel starts crying again and Monica goes over to her and hugs her)
Rachel (to Monica): I have ruined the best relationship I have ever had. I didn't mean to kiss Brad. It just happened. I should have never gone to lunch with him.
Monica: It's gonna be alright. Ross just needs to blow off some steam.
Chandler: Rach, I'll talk to Ross if you want.
Rachel: That's ok Chandler, we've got to work this out together.
JOEY'S APARTMENT (Joey and Phoebe are present)
Joey: Pheebs, if you wanted to be a super hero, who would you be?
Joey: Cinderella isn't a super hero Pheebs.
Phoebe: Oh. Then I'd definitely be Catwoman.
Joey: Catwoman isn't a super hero either. She's a super villain.
Phoebe (annoyed): I'd be Batgirl. Who would you be?
Joey: That's easy, I'd be Superman.
Joey: 'Cause then I could see through chicks' clothes and stuff with my X-ray vision.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Rachel is sitting on the couch waiting for Ross to come home. The phone rings.)
Rachel: Hello? (pause) No Mon, he's not home yet. I'm worried, he's been gone for hours. (pause) Yeah ok, I'll call you after he gets in. Bye.
(Ross enters and sees Rachel who is hanging up the phone)
Ross: What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you that I want you out of here?
Rachel: Ross, stop it. I'm not leaving until we talk this thing through.
Ross: There's nothing to talk about.
Rachel: Look Ross, I know how hurt you are. That's how I felt after I found out that you slept with Chloe.
Ross: So you're saying you slept with him?
Rachel: No. No, no I didn't sleep with him. I'm just saying I understand why you feel betrayed.
Ross: Why'd you kiss him? Do you like him?
Rachel: No, I don't like him. I love you.
Ross: Answer my question. Why did you kiss him?
Rachel: He surprised me. I didn't know what to do. It was like when I caught you kissing Rebecca and you said she forced herself on you. Brad did the same thing to me.
Ross: Rach, I was there, you didn't resist him at all. You said you wanted to go to lunch with him again.
Rachel: You heard that?
Ross: You think?
Rachel: I was trying to be nice.
Ross: While you were at lunch did you tell him you had a boyfriend?
Ross: You know, maybe you aren't invested in this relationship as much as I thought you were.
Rachel: Don't say that. I love you as much as you love me.
Ross: Well you do now.
Rachel: What does that mean?
Ross: I love you as much as you love me…. Not at all.
Rachel (starting to cry): I love you damn it. I made a mistake. Why can't you forgive me?
Ross: Maybe in three years I'll be able to forgive you.
Rachel: That was low. I didn't sleep with him.
Ross: But you wanted to.
Rachel: I did not want to sleep with him. Listen to me, listen to me, I love you. I would never do anything on purpose to hurt you. I made a mistake in leading him on. I should have told him that I had a boyfriend. I screwed up, I would never hurt you intentionally.
Rachel: Do you forgive me?
Rachel: Can I stay here with you?
Ross: No. I forgive you but we're finished.
Rachel: Ross, don't do this. Don't end this over a misunderstanding.
Ross: What do you want me to do? I saw you kiss another man right in front of me.
Rachel: Well I saw you kiss a naked Rebecca right in front of me and I forgave you.
Ross: That was different, you knew there was no way I wanted that to happen.
Rachel: So you're implying that I wanted to kiss Brad. Well thanks a lot. I thought you trusted me.
Ross: Please, you told him that you would like to do lunch with him again.
Rachel: As a friend. Nothing more. I was being nice.
Ross: So you're saying that you guys are just friends. Well maybe I should find some more female friends and kiss them goodbye in front of you.
Rachel: Would you stop acting like a child, I didn't mean to kiss him.
Ross: Are we done?
Rachel: No. I'm not leaving you.
Ross: So I have to leave you?
Rachel: You can't do that either.
Ross: How do you figure?
Rachel: You love me too much. That's why you're acting like this.
Ross: Do you want to know why I am so angry and hurt?
Ross: You destroyed all of my trust in you. I can't believe I'm going to tell you this but, but…
Ross: Tonight, (long pause) tonight I was going to ask you to marry me.
(Rachel stands stunned and her face is ashen white. She starts to cry again)
Rachel: And you're not going to ask me now?
Ross: What do you think? What would you do in my shoes?
Rachel: I would forgive you and ask you to marry me.
Ross: Well it's a good thing I'm not you.
Rachel: Don't say that. How can you honestly believe that I would dump you for some fling?
Ross: Oh, so now it was a fling.
Rachel: No, no, that's not what I meant. I meant that I love you too much to risk my relationship with you by giving into temptation.
Ross: Oh, then that makes it so much better. So you gave into temptation. You decided that it would be ok if you kissed another guy.
Rachel: Damn it Ross! I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. I was as surprised as you.
Ross: And yet you told him it was ok and that you'd see him later. You didn't even tell him that you were involved with someone after he kissed you. You let him walk away thinking you really liked him.
Rachel: Yes, I screwed up. I should have told him. Can't you understand? I was caught completely off guard.
Ross: I can't do this anymore. We never have a normal relationship. Something always happens.
Rachel: There are no normal relationships Ross. This is life. Things happen.
Rachel: Is that all you're going say?
Ross: What do you want me to say?
Rachel: I want you to forgive me and I want you to keep our relationship going. I want to be your wife. I want to grow old with you. If it means quitting my job to show you how much you mean to me, I will, just say the word.
Ross: You'd quit your job?
(There's a long period of silence. Ross takes a walk around the apartment as Rachel just looks at him. Ross walks over to Rachel and gets down on one knee and takes her hand.)
Ross: Rachel Karen Greene, if you ever kiss another guy again while we are dating, I'll kill you myself. I better not regret asking you this…. Rachel, will you be my girlfriend again?
Rachel: Yes, I'll marry you.
Ross: I didn't ask you to marry me.
Rachel (deflated): Oh. What did you ask me?
Ross: Will you be my girlfriend again?
Rachel: But we never broke up.
Ross: Yes we did. I thought that's what we were fighting about?
Rachel: Oh, right. Yes I'll be your girlfriend again. Why are you down on one knee?
Ross: I'm not finished yet.
Ross: Rachel, you're my soulmate and best friend. I love you more than life itself. You complete me. And even though you kissed another guy today- and I know that was a mistake- I have something very important to ask you. Will you move in with me?
Rachel: Yes I'll marry you.
Ross: I didn't ask you to marry me. I asked you to move in with me.
Rachel: But I already live here!
Ross: You did. I asked you to move out. Don't you remember?
Rachel: Yes, I'll move back in. You can stand up now.
Ross: I'm still not finished.
Rachel: Doesn't your knee hurt?
Ross: Of course, it's killing me.
Rachel: Well hurry up and finish.
Ross: Ok, forget it. (Ross stands up)
Rachel (pushes Ross back to one knee): Come on, finish.
Ross: Rachel, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Well except maybe my Mom and Monica, but they're family.
Ross: Rachel, what I am trying to say is this…you are my life. I have loved you since the 9th grade and ever since then I have been preparing for this moment, hoping that someday I could ask you this. Of course I never figured I do this on a day that I caught you kissing another guy- even if it was just a mistake. (Ross reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box) Rachel Karen Greene, will you marry me?
Rachel: Oh my god, yes. Yes, I'll marry you. (Ross stands up and embraces a crying Rachel)
Ross: Some day huh?
Rachel: Yeah. But a day with a perfect ending. (a long pause) Do I still have to quit my job? (Ross just shakes his head no)
CHANDLER & MONICA'S APARTMENT (Chandler, Monica, Phoebe and Joey are present)
Joey: Come on Monica, what super hero would you be?
Monica: Joey, I told you I am not playing this game.
Joey: Come on.
Monica: Fine. I'd be Wonder Woman.
Chandler: You would look totally hot in her costume.
Joey: Chandler, who would you be?
Chandler: The Green Lantern.
Phoebe: You'd be better as the Joker.
Chandler: The Joker isn't a super hero.
Phoebe: Yeah, but there's no way your macho enough to be the Green Lantern.
(Ross and Rachel enter)
Monica: You guys made up!
Ross: Yeah, she convinced me that it was all a mistake.
Phoebe: Rach, what's that ring on your finger?
Rachel: Oh, that. Ross and I are getting married.
Ross: I asked Rachel to marry me.
Joey: Way to go man.
Chandler: The marrying man is at it again. Congratulations.
Phoebe: Yea! Another wedding I can play music at. Oh, and I'm so happy for you guys.
(Everyone stares at Monica who is uncharacteristically quiet)
Monica: My brother and my best friend, how can I not be happy. Congratulations.