I do not own the show or the characters
and will make no money off of this, which
is as it should be, since If I was to ever
be out of debt or to
not have to worry about money i'd prob die from the shock anywyas
This takes place in season 7, before M and C's wedding and after Rach has broken up with Tag
PHOEBEE(runs into CP everyone is there) Hey you guys,look at this(holds up a pack of batteries)
CHANDLER: wow Pheebs, did you decide to join us in the 21st Century and discover batteries
PHOEBEE:No, no not the batteries this(points to the package)
RACHEL: Wow, you've discovered....cardboard??
PHOEBEE: What are you people blind? This, THIS(starting to get annoyed)
MONICA: What are you trying to show us Pheebs?
PHOEBEE: This battery tester, it tests the batteries to see if they work, isnt that the coolest thing ever
ALL: Yeah/that's neat/amazing etc...
PHOEBEE: Ok well i've got to go
MONICA: Phoebee, you just got here
PHOEBEE: Yeah, like I can sit and drink coffee when there are batteries to be tested(she leaves)
CHANDLER: ever get the feeling that Phoebee needs a hobby?
MONICA so anyway, everyone is coming to the Hawiaan Party tommorow nite right??
ALL: Yep/sure/you bet....
MONICA: I have everything I need so I'm going to start cooking except.. oh crap, I forgot the pinapples, Chandler can you pick some up for me?
CHANDLER: No, sorry hon, I have to stop in at the office
JOEY: I'll get them for you Monica
MONICA: Thanks so much Joey. Here's 20 dollars get about ten
ROSS: Wow, that's a lot of pineapple
MONICA: One can never have too much pineapple
CHANDLER: I thought it was sex and money you could never have to much of?
JOEY: and alchohol
PHOEBEE(to the store clerk) Excuse me do you have any batteries?
CLERK: Yes, aisle 8
PHOEBEE: Yeah, I got those do you have anymore?
CLERK: What do you mean anymore? We just put out a whole new shipment there were over 10o packages of batteries there
PHOEBEE: Yeah, so do you have anymore
CLERK: Lady, if you don't mind my asking, what the heck do you need these batteries for?
PHOEBEE: I don't need batteries
CLERK: Then why did you ask if we had any, and why do you have over 100 packs in your cart?
PHOEBEE: To test
PHOEBEE: To use the battery testers to make sure they work
CLERK: Let me get this straight, you are buying batteries, which you dont need just so you can test them?
CLERK: Um, yeah ok, I um, uh have to get back to work
C's BOSS: Hey what are ya doin here Bing??
CHANDLER: I"m here for the meeting, remember
BOSS: Oh, it got cancelled, didnt you get the memo?
CHANDLER: Ok well I guess i'll see you tommorow then
BOSS: see ya Bing
(Chandler is walking down the street and
see's a sign in a video store window: Rent
all Three Die hards 5 days just five dollars)
Die Hard Marathon here I come(he gets the movies)
JOEY(wandering up and down the aisles) Excuse me, where are the pineapples
WOMEN:(looking at Joey likes he's a bit stupid) in the fruit section
JOEY: thanks! (he goes to the fruit section
and starts looking around) Ok, there are
no pineapples anywhere in this store(said
to himslef, and as
he says it he passes by a huge pineapple display) Oh< but here are some apples now all I have to do is find some pine
(Knock on door, Phoebee gets it)
PHOEBEE: Hey Joe! I've got lots of batteries to test, wanna help me?
JOEY: Yeah, but first you gotta help me
make pineapples, Monica needs um for her
dinner party, I found apples but where am
I going to find
PHOEBEE:(looks at the apples) yeah I see what you mean, hey how about Central Park, there are pine trees there
JOEY: Phoebee, you are a genius, let's go
PHOEBEE: Oh! Oh! Oh! There are 4 stores on the way to Central Park, I can get more batteries to test!!
Monica and Chandlers(Rachel and Monica are decorating for the party)
RACHEL: So are you almost ready?
MONICA: Yeah, I just need to hang these paper lanterns and wait for Joey to show up with the pineapples
(Chandler walks in and goes straight to the vcr, puts die hard in and sits down to watch it)
MONICA: (sarcasticaly) nice to see you too honey, why thank you I know the decorations look nice
CHANDLER: Uh huh, yeah, could you too please keep quiet, I'm trying to watch something important
MONICA: Chandler, you are watching Die Hard, a movie you have seen by your own admission 364 times already
CHANDLER: What's your point?
MONICA:(under breath) you mean besides the fact that you're an idiot
MONICA: nothing dear
(Chandler proceeds to watch Die Hard and talk along with the movie, basically he has it totally memorized)
Phoebee(Joey is gluing pine needles to apples and she is sitting on the floor surrounded by 100's of packages of batteries)
JOEY: Pheebs, I have 32 more apples to glue pine needles on, could you give me a hand?
PHOEBEE: I'm kinda busy Joe these batteries aren't gonna test themselves, besides your doing a great job on your own
PHOEBEE: I wonder if theirs a battery testers club
JOEY: I don't think so Pheebs
PHOEBEE: ooh, ooh, ooh I could start one, I could be the President
JOEY: Can I join?
PHOEBEE: Baby, you'd be my Vice President
JOEY: Oh yeah!!(he smiles at Phoebee and she giggles)
Monica and Chandler's(decorated for a HA luau type party, various guests are there-imagine whoever you'd like and of course the group is their)
JOEY: Hey Mon, here are the pineapples
MONICA: Thanks Joe, just put them on that table
(Joey sets the apples with glued on pine needles on the table)
MONICA: What the?? Joey, those are not pineapples
JOEY: Yuh huh they are see-pine(points to the needles) apples(points to the apples) pineapples
MONICA: No Joey, these are pineapples(shows him a picture)
JOEY: Oh... then what do you call these
MONICA: a waste of my money
JOEY: Do you want me to take them back to the store
MONICA: Thanks Joe, but somehow I don't think they'd let you return them
JOEY: eh, oh well(walks away)
Rachel is standing by the couch drinking
a glass of Maui 7(it's an alcoholic drink
that tastes kina like coconut and pineapple-she
is not drunk by
the way, she has only had a couple drinks)
ROSS: Hey Rach, what are you drinking?
RACHEL: a Maui 7
ROSS: I have never had one of those
RACHEL: Here have one
ROSS: wow this, this is really good
RACHEL: so why are you over here by yourself?
ROSS: Oh I dont know, just thinking of
how I used to go to parties like this and
I didnt' have to worry about who my date
would be or looking
stupid standing by myself
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah I know exactly what you mean
ROSS: So Rachel do you want to go for a walk
RACHEL: yeah and I want to finish what we started that night
ROSS: What night??(Rachel whispers in his ear and he looks at her shocked) Rachel Karen Green
RACHEL: Yes, Ross Geller
ROSS: Let's go
(they return about 3hrs later, the guests have all gone home but the 6 of them are all there)
ROSS and RACHEL: Hey Mon!
MONICA: Don't Hey Mon me, where the hell have you two been
MONICA: Out? Out? Great let's see I have
you two running off who knows where to do
who knows what(looks at them) you two didnt
anything stupid did you?
ROSS and RACH:(look at each other a minute before answering) Nooo
MONICA: Then I have Joey, who kept trying
to serve everyone apples covered in glued
on pine needles, Chandler who has been sitting
chair watching Die Hard for 9hrs straight
ROSS: wow, his butt must be really sore(he looks at Rachel and they start laughing hysterically until they see Monica Glaring at them)
MONICA: not to mention Phoebee who has tested every single battery in the entire city if not the whole tri state area
RACH: Um.. I'm sorry
MONICA: It's ok though, it's ok, cause
i'm going to have fun now, yes I want to
have fun and we are going to play a game,
we are going to play
monopoly right??(everyone just stares at her) RIGHT??
ALL: Yeah/uh huh/sure(they sit down and start playing)
JOEY: (bites into one of the apples with needles) Yuck, eww pineapples are gross
ALL: They aren't pinapples