Part 2 of TO Whoís Powerless...


Scene begins on the next day. Itís about 9am and Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Ross are all at Central Perk. Theyíre drinking coffee before they go back to the hospital to visit Rachel and Emma. (This is the scene where I come in. -=oD) I go into Central Perk and while Iím ordering my coffee from Gunther, I hear a familiar laugh. Itís Chandlerís laugh. Letís just pretend Iíve met him somewhere before. Iíll explain in the dialogue. I notice that he and a couple other people who I have not yet met are sitting on the couch. I go over and say hello.


Monica: Hey so Joey never came home last night. Did he call any of you guys?


Phoebe: He called me after he had umm...talked to Ross. I think he had stayed at the hospital. (looking at Ross) Did you get a chance to talk to him?


Ross: No, I had probably already left by the time he got back to the room.


Phoebe: (in her famous Phoebe way) Ooh no.


Monica: Are we missing something here?


Ross: Basically, Joey was led astray and gave me a HUGE piece of his mind...


Chandler: Okay, the being led ASTRAY part I get, but, JOEY gave you a HUGE piece of his mind?


Ross: Well, yeah.


Chandler: I didnít know Joeyís mind was big enough to dish out in pieces! (forces out a laugh. Nobody else laughs) Oh, come on guys! Weíre talking about Joey here! Oh, forget it.


Monica: Sorry honey, but you canít be funny forever.


Mary: Chandler?


Chandler: (turning his head to look at me) Mary? Oh, hey!! (he stands up to hug me)  What are you doing here?


Mary: (looking at him funny. Sarcastically says) Protesting unfair sweatshop conditions in communist countries! What about you?


Chandler: Just....(canít think of a clever comeback. *Like thatís ever going to happen.* Uncertainly says) having some coffee.


Mary: How quaint. (smiles at him and the gang, hinting for him to introduce me. Then hold up my hand as if Iím telling him not to speak.) Let me guess...(to Ross) You must be Ross.


Ross: (gets up to shake my hand) Yes, howíd you know?


Mary: Too much gel in your hair. (the rest of the gang laughs. He looks embarrassed) Iím kidding! I already know what Joey looks like and Chandler only talks about you and him. (To Phoebe) And you HAVE to be Phoebe.


Phoebe: (gets up to shake my hand) See, you only knew that because I was telling you through telekinesis.


Mary: Exactly. (To Monica) And you must be the beautiful, successful and loving wife, Monica. (she smiles and I shake her hand.) Wow, youíre even prettier than Chandler described you. And so fit too!


Monica: (agrees like itís a fact) I am, arenít I? (whispers loudly to Chandler) I like her!


Ross: So Mary, how do you know Chandler?


Mary: Iím his co-worker, Justinís girlfriend...(sadly) well, actually ex-girlfriend now.


Chandler: Oh, no...What happened?


Mary: We just had this really heated argument, and then I said, well maybe we needed some space. We didnít call each other for 2 days. And, when I finally got a hold of him, he confessed that he had slept with someone else the day before...(everyone looks at Ross)


Ross: Well, I mean... you guys WERE taking a break...


Mary: Yeah, that is true. (Ross glares back at everyone else like his past actions were justified) But a BREAK to me doesnít mean BREAK-UP. I donít me, it doesnít matter whether youíre committed by word...if you love someone, you donít sleep around with anybody else. Otherwise, it just cheapens the entire idea of love. (Ross looks down to the floor defeated. I try to change my tone of voice.) Anyways...hey Chandler itís a good thing I ran into you. I was wondering if youíd be able to give me Joey Tribbianiís phone number. The Times wants me to do a feature on Soap Operas, donít ask me why, and well, I just remembered how close you two are.


Chandler: Sure, no problem. (he writes it down for me on a napkin.) Heís actually at the hospital right now with a friend of ours who just had a baby, but Iím sure heíll be home later on tonight.


Mary: Thanks! (look my watch) Well anyways, it was so great meeting you guys, but I have a deadline at 11am for an opinion piece about whether Britney Spears is ďToo Sexy for Her ShirtĒ.(stick out my tongue in distaste) Hey, we should all get together and have dinner sometime!


All: Hey, yeah thatíd be great!/ Sure thing!/ Call us this week!/ Love to! (We wave good bye. I exit.)


Ross: Did anybody else NOT like her?


Rest of the gang: Oh, no I loved her!/ She was really sweet./ Great personality!


Ross: Damnit, I thought so too.


Scene cuts to inside of Rachelís hospital room: It is now late morning, around 10am. Rachel is already awake and staring outside the window, reliving in her mind the events that had just happened within the last few days. Joey is beginning to stir, his body is slouched in the chair and there is a blanket on him. He hears unfamiliar voices coming into the room.


Doctor: Good morning, Miss Green. How are you feeling today?


Rachel: (very sarcastically) Oh gee, I dunno...A little over 10 hours ago, I spent the entire day squeezing out an 8lb. baby from my vagina, thanks to a man who is a lying, cheating, promise-breaking, secretly-stays-married-to-you ex-husband with THE best timing IN THE WORLD to bare GREAT, LIFE ALTERING news. So Doctor, besides being a LITTLE tired, you can imagine just how peachy Iím feeling. (pauses) Oh by the way, when can I see Emma?


Doctor: (to himself) Hmm....youíd think with all of the advances in medical technology there would be stronger sedatives for pregnancy hormones. (To nurse) Betty, can you check Miss Greenís blood pressure please. (to Rachel) Itís perfectly normal to still be tired. Youíll be tired for the rest of the week as well. And donít worry, Iíll have someone bring Emma in as soon as Iím done with your check up. (notices Joey, then asks Rachel) Where is Dr. Gellar?


Rachel: (matter-of-factly) Somewhere up my ass.


Doctor: I see...(to Joey) Sir, do you mind stepping out of the room for awhile so I can examine Miss Green. The faster I get done, the sooner she goes home.


Joey: Oh sorry, yeah, sure thing. (he groggily goes out into the hall.)


Joey stands with his back leaning against the wall. A few seconds later, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe walk up to him.


Chandler: Wow, Joe! You look terrible! Did YOU have a baby last night?!


Joey: (ignorant) What are you talking about? You know dudes canít have babies. (They look at Joey in disbelief. Then Joey realizes it was a joke. He thinks of a clever response. To Chandler) Well, at least I didnít have to go home and make babies with Monica! (Then Joey realizes that wasnít an insult. To Monica) Well, at least I didnít have to go home and make babies with CHANDLER! (Monica looks shocked, and a little hurt. She looks over to Phoebe for support.)


Phoebe: Donít look at me! He DOES have a point...


Monica: (thoughtful. Then shrugs her shoulders and admits) Yeah, okay.


Chandler: (upset, obviously missing the target of the insult) Hey itís not MY fault our kidís not gonna know which one of my parents is grandpa!


Joey just shakes his head and pats Chandler on the back. Then Chandler, Monica and Phoebe start to go into Rachelís room and Joey stops them.


Joey: You canít go in there, the doctorís checkiní up on Rach.


Phoebe: Oh really...Hey, howís she feeling anyway?


Joey: Umm...Letís just pretend Rachel is Chandler and today is Thanksgiving.


Phoebe: Ooh no...


Chandler: (defensive) Hey! (Monica gives him a look) Okay, but that was just a CHEAP shot!


Joey: Whereís Ross?


Monica: Iím letting him borrow the Porsche so he can drive Rach home later today. Heís parking it I guess.


Ross then walks up to them. He looks at everyone but Joey. Joey starts to feel bad.


Scene cuts to inside Rachelís room. The doctor is just about finishing up when Rachel sees a familiar head through the tiny window of her door. She gets a sinister idea...




Scene cuts back to out in the hall.


Ross: (glumly) Hey...why are you guys out here? (when he says ďout hereĒ he makes a ďRossĒ motion with his hands to signify the hall.)


Chandler: Because the doctorís takiní a look at Rachel...(giggles immaturely and points at his pant zipper) down there...


Ross: Oh. Well, did you guys see her yet? How is she?


Phoebe: Funny that you should mention that actually...see, we had just finished-


Suddenly the door from Rachelís room bursts open nearly knocking Rossís body over. The rest of the gang gasps and jumps back. The doctor runs out, anxiously looking out in the hall only to find nothing unusual.


Ross: (angry) Hey! Watch it! (scolds Dr. Morgan with his finger in an eccentric-Ross way) DOCTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO ďSAVEĒ LIVES, NOT ďENDĒ THEM!


Doctor: (incredibly embarrassed) Iím sorry about that, Dr. Gellar! (Suspiciously looks back at Rachel) Ms. Green, I think the labor may have impacted your judgment. You seem to be experiencing hallucinations...


Rachel: (amused) Oh, I know there was no man with a severed arm...You see, I saw Rossís head through the window and I told you that HOPING the door would hit him. (The doctor just shakes his head at her. The gang looks at each other as to say ďwoah...Ē Joey gives them an ďI told you soĒ look. Rachel looks at Ross happily. Then sarcastically says) Well hello Ross! Youíre just in time! How bout one more baby for the hell of it since the last pregnancy was just so much fun?!


Joey: Uhhh...hey Ross, can I talk to you outside for a sec?


Ross: (looks at Joey unsurely, and then glances back at Rachel. She rolls her eyes at him.) Umm...yeah, sure. (He follows Joey outside)


The rest of the gang cautiously walks into Rachelís room as though she is a bomb and about to explode.


Monica: (very sweetly to Rachel) Sweetie, can I get you anything?


Rachel: A bottle of vodka, a box of Twinkies...oh and about a pound of weed would be nice...


Phoebe: (impatient and short tempered) Oh come off it Rachel! Talk to me when you have THREE BABIES...AT THE SAME TIME...WHEN YOU DONíT EVEN GET TO KEEP ONE! (Rachel looks at Phoebe frightened. Phoebe mutters waving her hands around her face) Damnit, now my auraís all disfigured....


Not wanting to get anymore involved, Dr. Morgan and the nurse quietly leave the room. Chandler and Monica look at each other like itís going to be a long day.


Scene cuts to outside of the hospital.


Joey: Look man...Iím sorry. You were right. Itís not my place to judge you and your decisions. But thereís something you need to understand. Iíve never been in love before. I couldnít control my feelings. I didnít know what to do...(Ross can tell that Joeyís having a hard time saying all of this.) But now I know...and now I realize that loving someone is more complicated than just wanting to be with that person...itís about putting their feelings before your own, no matter how much it hurts.


Ross: (he pretends to not understand to make Joey continue) I donít understand Joey...


Joey: (sighs. Thinks of a simple way to tell Ross he knows. Realizes there is no simple way) Phoebe told me that you were planning to ask Rachel back...


Ross: Oh...(doesnít know what to say next)


Joey: Itís okay, man...this is the way things should be...(Joey looks away from Ross) But I just really wanted you to know how sorry I was...


Ross: Joey, I was never mad at you to begin with...


Joey: Dude, what I said was way out of line! And to make things worse, I said it right in front of Rachel! Now sheís mad at you for no reason! You have every right to be mad at me...


Ross: What you said last night was from your heart...Iím not mad at you, so donít be mad at yourself.


Joey: (pauses to think) What I still donít understand is why Rachel? Of all the girls in the world, I had to fall for her...


Ross: Joe, you canít help who you fall in love with...Donít think that you did something wrong behind my back. You didnít. You came to me first...(Ross remembers the conversation they had when Joey told him that he was in love with Rachel.)


Cuts to scene from TOW Joey tells Rachel...

Joey: Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uhÖI am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you.

Ross: Thank you.

Joey: Anyway, it uhÖlook itíll justÖtake me a while to get over her, thatís all. Iím not even sure how to do that, I mean Iíve never been in love before soÖ

Ross: What?! Youíre in love with her.

Joey: Yeah, I thought you knew that.

Ross: Umm, no.


Ross: (slowly continues) and Joey, Iíve decided not to ask her back...


Joey: (completely clueless) Wait, huh?!?!


Scene cuts back to Rachelís hospital room. A nurse comes in with Emma all bundled up in a baby blanket. There are a bunch of ďOohs and AahsĒ. Monica canít take her eyes off Emma and watches her enviously. The nurse hands her over to Rachel. Rachel begins to cry. All of the negative tension seems to disappear once Emma is placed into her arms.


Rachel: (loving, motherly tone) Hi, sweetie. How are you doing today, huh? are so little Emma...mommy loves you so much.


Monica: (barely able to contain herself) Mmkay, Rachel can I hold her now?! Please?!


Rachel: (still softly talking to Emma, in a happy, babyish tone) You donít want to be held by crazy Aunt Monica, do you, no you doní you donít...(Monica looks like sheís about to cry. Rachel laughs) Oh, Monica...Iím just kidding. Come here. (Rachel gently hands Emma to Monica. Monica is completely breath taken by Emma and falls into a trance. Rachel and Phoebe look at each other.)


Rachel and Phoebe: (simultaneously to Chandler in a teasing tone) Yeah...good luck with that one. (obviously referring to Monica. Chandler just nods his head and smiles sarcastically as to say ďvery funny.Ē)


Scene cuts back to outside of hospital. Joey is staring open mouthed at Ross and is completely speechless.


Ross: Joey, Iím not going to ask Rachel to be with me.


Joey: Youíre what?! Dude, youíve completely lost me. Rachelís right you ARE a weird one. (looks around like heís looking for something) I think I need to lie down...(Joey is about to get into a cab)


Ross: Where are you going?


Joey: Home to lie down!


Ross: Come on, Joe. Letís get some coffee. Iíll explain everything. Itís a very long story...


Scene cuts back to Rachelís hospital room. Chandler and Phoebe are packing up her stuff and getting ready to bring her home. Monica is still cradling Emma.


Phoebe: (to Rachel) Hey, itís almost time to admit you out and Ross has the keys to the Porsche. Iím going to have to hail a cab for you. Man, those guys have been gone a long time. I canít believe Ross is missing out on spending time with Emma. He was so excited yesterday.


Chandler: Itíd be kind of hard to stay excited when the mother of his child is SATAN. (he emphasizes the word ďSatanĒ and looks at Rachel.)


Rachel: (glares at Chandler) Monica, would you mind staying with me at my apartment tonight? Things are kind of awkward between Ross and I at the moment...


Monica: (very excited) Sure Rach! Iíd love to stay with Emma! (to Emma in mushy tone) You are just my most favorite person in the world, yes you are!


Chandler: Hey! What about me?!


Monica: (coming out of a daze) Oh...Chandler...youíre still here?


Chandler: (in a sarcastic shock) Itís like my childhood all over again!!


Scene cuts back to the hospital Cafeteria. Joey and Ross havenít returned back to Rachelís room yet. Theyíre sitting at a table in a secluded corner of the cafeteria with coffee cups. Ross has just explained everything to Joey. Joey is completely dumbfounded.


Joey: Man this world is too damn crazy! I shoulda paid more attention to earth science than my earth science teacher's ass! I need to sit down!


Ross: You are.


Joey: (eccentric) Well then why canít I feel my legs?! (Ross looks at Joey like heís gone crazy)


Joey: (still unclear) Okay, let me see if I got this right...(speaks very slowly) You were going to ask Rachel back, but after last night, you decided not to?


Ross: Yes.


Joey: And now you ARENíT asking her to be with you because, because I messed everything up??


Ross: (trying to stay very strong while saying this) No Joe, this isnít your fault. You didnít intend to...You see, I-I donít want to be with Rachel. Iím glad sheís the mother of my child. Iím glad sheís my best friend...but thatís it.


Joey: Ross! Weíre talking about Rachel here! The potential love of your life!!


Ross: (crossing his hands and looking down at the table) Joey...she WAS the potential love of my life. Sheís not anymore. Emma is now...I donít know how to explain it...I had a hard enough time trying to describe it to Phoebe...Itís like, even though weíre not together anymore, our emotional paths keep crossing, and we keep on hurting each other unintentionally. (Joey listens intently. He remembers Rachel saying something similar the previous night.) When Phoebe mentioned how everything Iíve ever wanted is staring me in the face, I knew she was right. But Rachel wasnít staring me in the face...Emma was. For these past few weeks Rachel has been giving me subtle hints about us getting back together, and I keep avoiding those hints like theyíre jokes because I honestly...(fights to say the words)...I donít love her anymore.


Joey: (taken aback) When, when did you finally realize this?


Ross: (sighs miserably) We kissed in the apartment before we left for the was the first time I ever kissed Rachel and felt absolutely nothing...(The guys are quiet for awhile and you can tell both of them are deep in thought.)


Joey: Ross, that was the most pathetic piece of bullshit anyoneís ever told me. And trust me, Iíve heard a lot of Bull. I lived with Chandler.


Scene cuts into Rachel and Rossís apartment. Phoebe and Chandler are helping Rachel into her room with Monica and Emma trailing behind. Emma is asleep in Monicaís arms. Inside the room, she gently puts Emma in her new bassinet next to Rachelís bed.


Chandler: (holding onto one of Rachelís arms and helping her into bed) There you go now...see? We made it! That wasnít very hard now, was it? Youíll be up and about again in no time...


Rachel: Chandler I just gave birth, Iím not 85 years old. (Chandler feels really dumb.) Hey Pheebs, do you mind fluffing my pillows a bit? (Phoebe does so.) Aahh heaven...thank you.


Phoebe: Do you need anything else before we go?


Rachel: Umm...would one of you mind getting me a glass of water? (Phoebe motions over to Chandler)


Chandler: Why me?


Phoebe: Well, Monicaís watching Emma, Ross and Joey arenít here, and I...well I just donít want to. (Defeated, Chandler leaves the room. Phoebe and Monica are watching the baby adoringly. Phoebeís cell phone rings and she goes into the living room to take the call. Chandler returns with a glass of water.)


Rachel: (to Chandler) Ooh, an orange would be nice. (Chandler leaves and comes back with an orange.) Hey is my new ďCosmoĒ here? (Chandler goes to check the mail and comes back with her magazine.) Hmm, I might need some clean towels...(he goes into the hallway closet to retrieve the towels, looking VERY annoyed. Rachel doesnít notice.) Uh-oh, hey Chandler do you mind-


Chandler: (yelling) WHAT RACHEL? WHAT IS IT NOW?!


Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Nothing! Never mind!


Chandler: (feeling guilty) Hey, Iím sorry, please donít cry. What do you need?


Rachel: (afraid of Chandler) I-I...I need Phoebe...(Chandler gets Phoebe from the living room.)


Cut scene to hospital: Joey is talking to Phoebe on her cell phone. By the time they had returned to the hospital room, Rachel had already been admitted out. Theyíre driving around Manhattan in Monicaís Porsche.


Joey: Ok, so you guys are at Rossís and Rachelís?


Phoebe: Yeah. What took you guys so long? (Hear Chandler calling Phoebe in the background.) Oh wait....(puts the phone down. Picks it back up shortly after.) Well you know where we are. Rachel needs me. Get your asses over here.


Joey: (on phone) Alright, weíll be there in awhile. (hangs up phone. To Ross) You ready to do this?


Ross: (completely zoned out and terrified.) Yuh-huh.


Scene cuts back to Rossís and Rachelís Apt.


Phoebe: (worried tone) Whatís wrong Rachel?


Rachel: (now crying. Says this all in one breath, very muffled) I had to pee and Chandler yelled at me and I got scared so, so I peed in my pants!! (sobbing loudly. Phoebe gives Chandler the ďnow-look-what-youíve-doneĒ look)


Chandler: (feeling very helpless. Looks up to the ceiling as though heís calling out to God.) If theyíre the ones who conned us into eating the apple, why is everything still OUR fault?!




Scene at R and Rís apt: Joey and Ross have just entered. Chandler is on the couch watching TV. Phoebe is reading a magazine by the kitchen counter. Monica is with the baby in Rachelís room and Rachel is asleep.


Phoebe: (to Ross) Umm, Hello?! (sarcastically says) No it is NOT the first day of your newborn babyís life! Where the hell have you two been?


Ross: Whereís Rachel?


Chandler: Sleeping in her room. Monicaís in there with Emma.


Joey: We kinda went shopping.


Phoebe: (still upset) Oh I take advantage of the fact that your childís mother is mad at you so you can-(Ross takes a Tiffanyís box out of his jacket pocket and opens it to reveal a 2 carat, princess cut, flawless, class e diamond engagement ring with a platinum band. *can you tell I know a LITTLE too much about diamond rings. Haha* Phoebe and Chandler gasp.) Wow...


Chandler: (in a Janice way) Oh-My-God! (swallows hard.) You canít show Monica that! Sheíll flip! Besides having a new baby, Rachelís going to have a ring that makes hers look like something she found in a Cracker Jack box! Sheíll kill me!


Phoebe: Wow, wow, wow Ross! Hell for this ring, Iíd marry you!


Ross: Thanks, I just need to set up everything right. I want to do it tomorrow evening. Since sheís pretty upset at me, sheís probably going to be up in her room all night which gives me time to plan stuff out here without her noticing. Iím gonna need-


Phoebe: (cutting him off) I thought you were just going to ask her back? What made you decide to take one step further?


Joey: Well, it took awhile, but I finally knocked some sense into him-


Chandler: (cutting him off in disbelief) YOU knocked some SENSE into ROSS? (they look at him like heís weird) What?! Geez, why arenít my ďdumb JoeyĒ jokes working anymore?!


Joey: Maybe cuzí theyíre just, oh I donít know, DUMB?! (they laugh at Chandler) Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted- (Chandler looks at Joey as to sarcastically say ďhahaĒ) Ross and I had a long talk...


Cut to a scene back in time a few hours ago. Ross and Joey are still at the cafeteria and Joey had just accused Ross that he was lying about his loss of feelings for Rachel.


Ross: (looking down) Iím...Iím not lying.


Joey: Ross! Youíre the worst actor in the world!


(*sorry, guys no pun intended. Actually I believe David Schwimmerís a great actor*)


Ross: (breathes in deeply. Looks up at Joey. Joey looks at him intently, expecting the truth. Ross finally caves in, almost ready to cry) Last night, after talking to Phoebe, I realized that maybe this WAS our last chance...I mean for Rachel and me to be together. So...I made a decision to go talk to her. And tell her that I wanted to try, one last time, for Emma. I mean, Iím not seeing anyone. Sheís not seeing someone. We live together. We have a baby. We definitely have a history.


Joey: (agreeing supportively) Yeah you do.


Ross: When, when she was asleep, I figured I could you know, maybe practice...thatís why I said I was glad she couldnít hear me Ďcuz it would make things easier. But then I just got uncomfortable. I always thought that if someday, if Rach and I got back together, we would be sure it was going to last forever. Then, watching her sleep there, so weak, so tired... I started to have doubts again. I-I remember when we were together, I used to just watch her sleep, and pray to God Iíd never lose her...This made me so...sad. And I, I just didnít want to be there anymore. I was terrified...


Joey: Now, I finally understand. Man, last night was already a mess, and I went and threw mud in your face! (sternly) But you CANíT give up.


Ross: Joey, stop. I just, I canít do this.


Joey: What are you so afraid of?


Ross: Itís Rachel, you know? I canít-I canít help but be afraid. Itís like every time one of us is brave enough to be up front with our feelings, something gets in the way. And-And, and itís not just something thatís unavoidable.


Joey: Like what?


Ross: Like, new boyfriends, or new wives, babies.


Joey: (thinks for awhile) Then maybe you should do something to make sure nothing gets in the way ever again.


Ross: What do you mean?


Joey: Propose.


Ross: What?! Do you KNOW who youíre talking to?! Itís ME, King of Divorce Land!


Joey: You said yourself that she had been hinting at you to get back together. Ross, last night when I came back in the room, she confessed that she was ďpowerlessĒ over you, she loves you so much, it hurts her. Trust me. 


Ross: Joey, why, why are you being so supportive about this?


Joey: Because, I told you last night...I might have feelings for Rachel, but Iím your best friend...and nothing is more important to me than the happiness of my best friends. That includes you AND Rachel.


Scene cuts back to present time at R and Rís apt. Joey and Ross had just finished explaining how Ross decided to propose to Rachel. Then, Phoebe and Chandler help him plan it out. Ross is going to ask Rachel to marry him tomorrow evening.


Scene cuts to next day at Joeyís apt. It is about 830am and Joey is eating cereal. He has to be at the ďDays Of Our LivesĒ set by noon. Suddenly, the phone rings.


Joey: (answering the phone) Hello?


Mary: (on the phone) Hi! Is Joey Tribbiani there?


Joey: This is he...


Mary: Hi Mr. Tribbiani. My name is Mary Grace Brooks. Chandler Bing gave me your number.


Joey: Oh, right! Yeah, he told me youíd be calling. Whatís up?


Mary: Oh, great! Well, umm... Iím a feature writer for the New York Times, and I was wondering if youíd be interested in being interviewed for my piece. In a nutshell, itís about the parallels between your Soap Opera characterís life and your REAL life.


Joey: Will we have to talk about anything personal?


Mary: Only if you want to, but donít worry, Iím a friend of Chandlerís and I wouldnít want to ruin his friendís reputation. Iím a VERY FRIENDLY journalist.


Joey: Does that mean Iíll have to sleep with you?


Mary: Excuse me?!


Joey: Uhh...never mind.


Mary: (laughing) So, should I say about noon tomorrow?


Joey: Sure! Hereís my address...(he tells me his addy, *you can imagine any number and street you like*)


Mary: Great! See you tomorrow...(flirty) Iím looking forward to getting, ahem, personal with you. Bye.


Joey: (smiling) Bye...




Scene cuts to R and Rís apt. Ross had just finished up cleaning dishes. Rachel hadnít come out of her room all last night, or all day today. When Ross wanted to see Emma, Monica had taken her out of the room for him. He knows Rachel is still upset about what she heard a couple nights before. But, he decided to hit her soft spot...a really good surprise. Monica had just left the apartment and now Rachel is reading in her bedroom. Rossís heart is beating a million miles a minute. He showers, puts on a nice clean, button-up shirt and dark-denim jeans. He gets the ring from his drawer, takes it out of the box, and puts it in his shirt pocket. He dims the lights in the living room, and turns on some music. Etta Jamesí ďAt LastĒ is playing softly in the background. He goes over to the other side of the room, and begins to light some candles. Suddenly, Rachel comes out of her room...


Rachel: Ross?


Ross: (startled.) RACHEL! Umm, what, what are you doing out of your room?


Rachel: (slowly) Well, I was a little thirsty...and well, umm...(looks around) are you expecting a date or something?


Ross: (shakes his head) I promised I wouldnít date, remember? (Rachel just stands there confused.) Is Emma asleep?


Rachel: Yeah, sheís been asleep for about an hour or so.


Ross: Well then, umm...can we talk?


Rachel: (eyeing him weirdly, still unsure) I...guess...(They both walk over to the couch and sit down facing each other.) Is that Etta James? Wow, I love this song.


Ross: too.


Rachel: Okay, so what did you want to talk about?


Ross: Well, first of all, I just want you to know that you were COMPLETELY misinformed. I never had intentions of leaving you and Emma.


Rachel: Yeah, Joey said something like that to me. But he was pretty vague. I didnít really understand what he was talking about.


Ross: (very nervous) Well, basically...Iíve been doing some thinking about umm, well...US...lately...and I-I didnít know exactly know what I was feeling, or how to tell you what I was feeling...but I talked to Phoebe about it...and, she helped me understand, I guess...So, I decided to talk to you...and when you were sleeping, I thought that if I could be brave enough to tell you then, I would be able to tell you again when you were actually umm...conscious.


Rachel: I see...


Ross: And, and then I talked to Joey yesterday, and he sort-of convinced me that well, maybe we could give us, I mean maybe we SHOULD give each other another try...but, but I donít want to JUST give us another chance, I want us to-


Rachel: (cuts him off) Wait, Joey CONVINCED you? You had to be CONVINCED that you had feelings for me?


Ross: You didnít even let me finish!


Rachel: Ross, were you or were you NOT going to tell me this if Joey hadnít convinced you to tell me? (Ross stares at her speechless. Rachel looks at him sadly.) I thought so. This conversation is over. (she starts to walk back to her room)


Ross: Rachel, donít walk away! (She stops to look at him. Ross knows this is his last chance to make things right.) Please. Letís talk about this. We always avoid our problems, or never finish them with proper closure. Just once...please...we deserve this.


Rachel: (knowing heís right) Okay.


Ross: (She sits back down. He starts again slowly) I really donít know where to begin, we have such a huge history...thereís so much I want to say.


Rachel: I know what you mean.


Ross: I guess, I know with us living together, and-and having a baby together... itís made me think of our history and itís opened up old wounds...we never resolved anything, it feels like we have unfinished business. And, I donít want to feel like that anymore, especially now that we have Emma. I just want to get everything out in the open, and tell you how many things Iíd do differently, if I could.


Rachel: I agree with getting things out in the open...But, there are things that happened in our past that I donít regret. No matter how much itís hurt, I know I probably wouldnít have done anything differently...


Ross: Really? You mean, you mean thereís NOTHING you would have done differently with us?


Rachel: No...I mean not NOTHING...but I donít regret breaking up with you after you cheated on me...And even though I meant to stop you and Emilyís wedding, I didnít. You kind of messed that up yourself...and the whole Vegas thing wouldíve been-


Ross: (getting angry) Okay, stop right there! You make it seem like you were a complete ANGEL during the entire relationship! Even though you didnít ruin things for me and Emily, you ruined all of my other relationships, and-


Rachel: (cutting him off almost angry. She stands up) Exactly how did I RUIN all of your relationships, Ross?!


 Ross: (he stands up too.) You took advantage of the fact that I would do ANYTHING to be with you! I was completely vulnerable when it came to you, Rachel. And, and every time Iíd try to move on and be happy, there you were, stopping it.


Rachel: (almost yelling) First of all, it is not MY fault I was SO in love with you I couldnít see straight! Secondly, you could have just said NO.


Ross: (yelling back) You knew DAMN well that I couldnít say NO! If you really loved me, Rach, why didnít you just let me be happy?! Itís like, YOU didnít want me, but you didnít want ANYBODY else to have me either...Do you know how much that hurts?


Rachel: (tears welled up in her eyes. His last comment stung her heart like nothing sheíd ever felt. She pauses for a long time, then says) Iím-Iím sorry, Ross... (then slowly whispers) Why do we always end up arguing, every time we talk about ďUSĒ or our past?


They share a very long silence, staring hopelessly at each other, lost for words.


Ross: (Not wanting to say it, but knowing he has to) This is never going to work, is it?


Theyíre eyes donít part until a muffled whine comes from Rachelís bedroom. It then develops into loud sobs. Rachel and Ross simultaneously look at the direction of her bedroom. Rachel takes Rossís hand, and leads him into her room. He sits at the foot of her bed while Rachel takes Emma from the crib and slowly walks back and forth, cradling her back to sleep. The drapes of the room are open and the moon is shining upon their figures. Ross slowly puts his hand over his heart, where his shirt pocket is, and feels the ring still sitting patiently inside. He fights back tears, stands up, goes to kiss Emma softly on the head, and smiles sadly at Rachel. He leaves the room and closes the door behind him.


Scene fades here...