Written by Michael J
Characters created by Marta Kauffman and David Crane
Scene:[Central Perk] Monica and Chandler are seated on the couch discussing wedding invitations. Monica is holding a clipboard.
Monica: (excitedly) OK, OK I think we are starting to make a dent in this invitation list.
Chandler: (bored and frustrated) A dent? Thats it? Monica weve been at this for an hour and a half now. Wouldnt it be easier to send everyone an invitation and just hire a bouncer at the church to weed out the overflow?
Monica: (agitated) Hey we had a deal remember, you agreed to help me with this list, and in exchange I would help you with your stupid underwear problem.
Chandler: Monica, this is a significant dilemma Im facing here. Just when I think Ive got my boxers vs. briefs question sorted out. What do they do? They come out with the boxer-brief. Whats up with that? Comfort and support all in the same package? (laughs) Im sorry; the engineering technology is still years in the future.
Monica: OK Fruit of the Room, back to the list. (looks at her clipboard) Lets see . Do you want to send an invitation to your Uncle Willie?
Chandler: (thinking) Uncle Willie, Uncle Willie Ah yes, my short, fat, bald Uncle Willie. Now theres a guy whos a lot of fun at parties. Always has a new joke to tell. Just loves to pinch the girls, which is surprising considering hes on my fathers side of the family. The only thing is he doesnt know when to leave. You know the type; they hang around and hang around. If we invite him, Im afraid (spoken slowly as he looks down) Uncle Willie Willie wont go home.
Monica: Ill take that as a no then.
Chandler: Come to think of it, send him one. Hell just show up anyway. At least this way we can get one of his ornamental, his and hers toilet paper holders. (pause) Oh I didnt tell you that, besides being annoying, Willie does woodworking on the side.
(Monica laughs and checks his name on the clipboard)
[Scene: Central Perk. Continued from before. Monica and Chandler are still working on the invitations, when Chandler notices a woman who just walked through the door.]
Chandler: That woman looks so familiar. Where have I seen her before?
Monica: (looks over) Wow, shes pretty. Shed better not be familiar with your "little Willie".
(Chandler starts in on one of his laughs until he notices Monicas serious stare. His laugh slowly turns into a slight whimper.)
Monica: (smiles) Im just kidding. So, you dont know who she is?
Chandler: I dont know. Ive seen her before with short hair. Thats it! Mon, you know who that is?
Monica: No, but I can assume that the last time you saw her, someone had short hair.
Chandler: (with a look of astonishment) Thats Chloe!
Monica: Whos Chloe? I dont knooooo (change of expression). Not Chloe! Not copy place Chloe! Not, Id love to see her and Rachel meet in a dark alley, Chloe!
Chandler: Yep. Thats her! I guess I didnt recognize her with her long hair. (laughs). Man she sure looks go (as he is about to say the word good, he notices Monica glaring at him and finishes with) God-awful.
(Chloe turns from the counter and starts to approach the door.)
Chandler: Quick. duck so she doesnt see us! (to late. Chloe smiles and waves when she notices him and approaches.)
Monica: Chandler, women like her dont have to see. They usually just sniff the men out.
(Chloe approaches the couch.)
Chloe: (In her slightly dimwitted sort of way.) Hey, how are you? I dont know if you remember me. My names Chloe. I used to work at the copy store down the street. You and your friend used to hang out there all the time.
Chandler: (defensive) Well well not all the time. Sometimes we hung out at the Wiz and swapped stories with the guys from the home electronics department. (laughs) Those crazy guys were (notices both Monica and Chloe starring at him.) Chandler. Nice to see you again Chloe.
Chloe: Yeah thats right. I knew it was a weird name. (reaction shot of Chandler. Chloe turns to Monica.) So whos your friend?
Chandler: This is, this is (cant think of her name.)
Monica: (angrily) Monica! Chandlers reconsidering fianc?e.
Chloe: Oh thats so cool. Congratulations. (pause) Wow, its been a long time.
Chandler: (said loudly to cover the tension.) It sure has! (pause) So what have you been doing to, I mean, with yourself these last few years?
Chloe: (excited) Oh Ive been living in LA doing a little acting. Maybe youve seen my commercial for Garden Fresh feminine hygiene spray. I think its gone nation-wide.
Chandler: (eyeing Monica cautiously.) Nooo I dont think I have caught that one yet. But if its gone nation-wide, you never know.
Chloe: Oh well. (pause as she looks down) So how is your other friend, Ross?
Monica: (sarcastically) Ill bet you remember Ross pretty well, heh? (Chandler gives her a little shove.)
Chloe: Oh yea. He was just the sweetest guy. Although he was really going through a tough time with his girlfriend the last time I saw him. I felt so sorry for him. I hope they worked everything out.
(Chandler and Monica look at each other, then down. Chandler then looks up and notices that Chloe has a worried look on her face.)
Chandler: Chloe is something wrong?
Chloe: Oh, (thinks to herself.) Can I confess something to you guys? Its been weighing on my mind for such a long time now.
Monica: (kiddingly) You sure it wasnt weighing on something else?
(Monicas comment goes right over Chloes head as she continues talking.)
Chloe: I dont know if you know this but remember how drunk Ross was that night?
Chandler: Yes, I remember wishing that I were a lot drunker that night myself.
Chloe: (looking down) Well, I kind of spent the night at his place.
Chandler/Monica: (sarcastically) Noooo..
Chloe: I know! I have felt so guilty about everything that happened that night. Ross was so depressed. I just wanted to help him out anyway I could, you know.
Monica: (with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.) Yea, any way you could.
(a tense pause ensues. Chandler breaks the tension.)
Chandler: So, care to share any details with us? (Monica gives Chandler an "I cant believe you just asked her that" look.)
Chloe: Well theres really not much to tell. We sat and talked for a while. He was so upset about something his girlfriend had done. Poor guy. I could tell he was so in love with her. She had really hurt him badly. Anyway, after about four beers and half a bottle of Stoly, he started getting angry and frustrated over the whole thing. Eventually he got up and staggered towards his bedroom. I tried to help him cause he was having trouble walking, but he just went into his bedroom and slammed the door in my face. That was pretty much it.
Chandler: (dumbfounded) You mean you didnt
Chloe: As much as I wanted to, (Monica gives a disgusted look.) I could tell that he didnt want me in that kind of way. He was really crazy about his girlfriend. So I just crashed on the couch.
Monica: (with a look of astonishment) So you never slept with Ross?
Chloe: Well thats kind of the reason I feel so bad about the whole thing. (pause as she looks down.) I dont know but I guess I felt rejected and upset. Its not like I was used to getting turned down very often you know.
Chandler: (sympathetic) Oh I imagine you werent. (Monica gives him a quick look.)
Chloe: So anyway, the next day at work I kind of gave my friend Issac the impression that Ross and I you know did it. I figured he was so drunk that he wouldnt remember anything anyway. At the time, I didnt think that it was that big a deal, but now I realize that it was a bad and selfish thing to do. (pause as Chloe looks at her watch.) Well Ive got to get to the airport to catch my flight to LA. (she stands) It was great talking to you guys. It felt so great to get this off of my chest. (Chandler raises an eyebrow.) When you see Ross, please tell him Im sorry about everything. I hope his girlfriend realized how lucky she was to have the love of such a wonderful guy. Well, take care.
(Chloe walks away and exits the coffee shop. Monica and Chandler just stand there looking at each other.)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers Apt. Joey, Monica, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are seated in the livingroom. Joey is at the kitchen table eating a sandwich.]
Joey: (in his whiny sort of way.) I cant believe I missed seeing Chloe! (Pause) Does she still wear those skimpy outfits?
Chandler: Yea Joe. You could say she was very revealing today.
Monica: Yes, veerry revealing.
Joey: Well if Monica liked it, then it must have been something. (pause) (whining again) and I missed it!
Phoebe: You know, Im getting this strong feeling that you guys are holding out on us. Come on, spill the beans.
Monica: Well, actually there is something.
Phoebe: (loudly) Ah Ha! I knew it! Next time I wont think twice about ordering the chili for lunch.
(everyone gives her a bewildered look.)
Phoebe: Ah come on, you know. Chili beans. Spill the beans, Rocky and Bullwinkle. (holds up part of her blouse to reveal a chili stain.) Oh forget it!
Monica: Well you know how weve always thought that Chloe was the lowest form of life for doing what she did the night Ross and Rachel broke up?
(Phoebe and Joey nod in agreement.)
Chandler: It seems that the bad thing that we thought that she did that night wasnt really as bad as the bad thing that she actually (he notices Joeys and Phoebes puzzled looks.) Boy, I am really bad at this. (annoyed) Help me out here Monica!
Monica: Ross and Chloe never slept together that night!
Joey/Phoebe: (shocked) What?
Monica: She lied about the whole thing.
Joey: Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Chloe spent the night at Ross, she didnt put out, and Ross doesnt know this? (laughs) Wow, is he going to be pissed.
(everyone looks at Joey.)
Chandler: Joey, remember the discussion we had on how you should not continue to talk after your mind has gone blank?
Joey: (timidly looking down) Yea.
Chandler: Well youve been shooting blanks for quite a while now, Joe.
Phoebe: Wow this is really huge. So are you going to tell Rachel?
(just then, Rachel walks through the door)
Rachel: Tell Rachel what?
Phoebe: (trying to think of something) That that you should try the chili at that new restaurant down on the corner. They use very interesting beans in it.
Rachel: (quizzical look) OK.
(slight pause as everyone looks at each other)
Chandler/Joey/Phoebe: (all at the same time) Well Ive got to be going. (they all hurry out the door)
Monica: (desperately) Wait you guys! (but they are already out the door)
Rachel: Wow, they sure were in a hurry.
Monica: (slightly mad as she looks at the door) Yea, they sure were. (turns to Rachel) So Rachel, how was your day?
Rachel: Oh Ive had better. Im still trying to find a replacement for Tag. You know a good ass (her mind quickly wanders as she smiles a bit. Then she quickly snaps out of it and comes back to earth) istant is so very difficult to find these days.
Monica: Oh Ill bet they are.
Rachel: Monica, you look like you have something on your mind. Anything you want to share? Because after sitting through eight interviews listening to people drone on about things like how many different places you can stick a post-it-note, (introspectivly) although a couple of them were quite clever (grimaces) but painful, I sure could use some stimulating conversation. (recalls excitedly) Oh, but one lady did show me how to make a beautiful centerpiece using only colored highliters, and fax paper. Ill have to show you later, it was so cute.
Monica: (interested) Oh Id love that! (pauses and gets serious) Rachel, there is something that I have to tell you. Its about something that happened a long time ago and I dont know if it even means anything to you anymore. But Im going to tell you anyway because I think that you need to hear it.
Rachel: Monica you sound so serious.
Monica: Well here it goes. (takes a deep breath) Do you remember Chloe?
(the smile on Rachels face quickly disappears and is replaced by a look of dread. There is a pause as Rachel stares into Monicas eyes.)
Rachel: Chloe? Chloe? Wow I never thought that I would hear that name again. (gathers her composure) Yes. Yes of course I remember Chloe. Her exploits are permanently imbedded in my memory! Why what about her? (pause) Shes not hanging around Chandler is she?
Monica: No no no not at all. As a matter of fact, Chandler and I ran into her at the coffee shop today and had a most interesting conversation.
Rachel: (starting to get upset) Oh really, about what? About how many lives she has ruined in the past four years? (pause) About, about how sorry she is feeling for everyone she has ever hurt? (tears form in her eyes.) About how she screwed up the best relationship Ive ever had in my entire life? (Monicas eyes widen with this revelation as Rachel cries harder. Monica gives her a hug.)
Monica: Oh honey, Im so sorry for even bringing up her name. (Pause) But you should know what she told us.
Rachel: Monica, I dont think that I want to (Cut by Monica)
Monica: (Straight faced) Rachel, her and Ross never slept together that night!
(Rachel looks up at her with a blank expression.)
Rachel: What did you just say?
Monica: Honey, Chloe told us she slept on the couch that night. She said that Ross slammed the bedroom door in her face.
(Rachel gazes at her in disbelief. Then looks down for a moment. She then looks up and lets out a slight laugh.)
Rachel: (Loudly) and you believed her? (Gets serious again) Monica she was lying!
Monica: Rachel Im sorry but I believe she was telling the truth. She told us she lied about what had happened the next day at work. Apparently to cover her reputation and to sooth her damaged pride. That must have been the version that you heard from Gunther.
Rachel: (With a tormented look on her face.) But Mon, this cant be! (Pause as Rachel looks down then back up) Did she say anything else?
Monica: She said that all Ross could talk about was you, and how upset he was about everything that had happened that day, and (She looks down)
Rachel: (pleading) And what Monica?
Monica: (pause as she takes Rachels hands) and that she had hoped his girlfriend realized how lucky she was to have the love of such a wonderful guy.
Rachel: (with tear-stained eyes) But I dont understand. I asked Ross the next day how she was in bed and he told me that she was was (softly) "different".
Monica: Honey, maybe the reason that he said she was different was because he really didnt know how she was in bed.
(Rachel looks down from Monica with a thoughtful expression on her face. She then stands up and puts her hands on her face as she walks towards the window and starts to cry again.)
Rachel: (tormented) Oh my God Monica, what have I done? (She breaks down and cries harder. Monica goes over to Rachel and hugs her trying to comfort her.)
Monica: Rachel, you had no way of knowing (Cut by a teary-eyed Rachel)
Rachel: But but Monica, I accused him of the worst possible thing without even giving him a chance to explain himself.
Monica: Rachel, you cant blame yourself for this. Remember Ross actually thought that he had slept with her.
Rachel: Yea but Monica that just makes the whole thing worse. I didnt hesitate to believe that Ross, the one person whom I trusted more than anyone in the world, was having sex with someone else, and to believe it from Gunther for Gods sakes. (she walks slowly over to the couch and sits down and ponders introspectively) I remember him telling that he wasnt a cheater, that he wasnt that kind of person. (pause) I think in a way Ross wasnt really sure if he had done it himself. (stands up) But I didnt even give him a chance to (she starts to cry again) Oh Monica I was so mean to him! (she totally breaks down in tears)
(Monica puts her arm around Rachel and sits her back down on the couch while Rachel continues to cry on her shoulder.)
Monica: Oh sweetie Im so sorry. I wasnt sure how you were going to take this. (pause) Is there anything that I can do?
Rachel: (looking up with tears in her eyes) I dont know Monica. Im really not feeling very good about myself right now.
Monica: Rachel honey, you cant torture yourself anymore about what happened in the past with Ross. Its done. Its history. It cant be changed. What you have to do is turn yourself in the opposite direction and consider one question. How do you feel about Ross today? Thats what you have to focus on now.
Rachel: Im Im not sure Monica. (pause) Ross and I were such a long time ago. What we had together then was something that was new to me at the time. I mean, I had never felt like that about anyone before in my life. (smiles as she recalls) Oh God Monica, what a feeling! I I cant even begin to describe it. I know for sure that it was love, but but what happened to it? Does something that wonderful just disappear, or or (look of realization) has it been inside of me all this time and I just wasnt aware of it?
(Rachel stands up and starts pacing the room deep in thought. Then she looks at Monica in a confident manor.)
Rachel: You know Monica. I I think I just realized something. I truly believe Ive loved Ross all along. (pause) Its its like all of those loving feelings that I once had for Ross are coming back to me and filling up inside of me and giving me a new strength to (she has a look of realization) Oh God Monica you know who I am? Im Scarlett OHara! You know, in Gone With The Wind, where she realizes her true feelings for Rhett Butler. Oh its so romantic, its (the smile that she had on her face quickly fades)
Monica: Whats wrong?
Rachel: Monica thats where the movie ended. We dont know what happened between them. For all we know, Ross could have went back to Charleston and shacked up with some floozy, dancehall, carpetbagger girl.
Monica: Rachel lets stay focused here. Im quite sure that Rhett, I mean Ross, shares the same love for you that you have for him.
Rachel: (hopeful) Oh Monica, do you really think so?
Monica: (mimicking Mammy of GWTW) Now Rachel, youz jus lisen to yo Monica honey child!
Rachel: (laughs) Oh Monica thank you so much. Youre such a good friend. (they hug)
Monica: (still doing Mammy) Why youz entirely wel (cut by Rachel)
Rachel: (slightly annoyed) OK Mammy, you can stuff a turnip in it! (Monica quickly shuts up)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment. Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are sitting in the livingroom discussing the girls earlier conversation.]
Monica: So then she realized that she has been in love with Ross all along. Oh it was so romantic. I was almost in tears myself.
Phoebe: Oh and I missed it. Instead Im stuck with Chandler and Joey down at the coffee shop watching them trying to guess the chest measurements of all the women who walked through the door.
(Monica quickly gives Chandler a frosty stare as he attempts to gather himself for an excuse.)
Chandler: (nervously) Ah Ah Joey actually did the guessing. I I was just doing the tabulations, you know, me being a numbers guy and all.
Joey: (with a fond remembrance look on his face) And I gotta tell ya, some of those numbers were pretty impressive.
(Monica continues to stare at Chandler as Ross walks through the door.)
Ross: Hey guys.
Joey/Chandler/Phoebe: Hey Ross.
Monica: Howdy Rhett! (everyone else looks at Monica with puzzled expressions on their faces. Monica thinks of an excuse)
Monica: (apologetic) Sorry. I love that book so much.
Ross: (still eyeing Monica) Anyway, Guess what?
Chandler: I for one am guessing that experts have discovered through fossilized remains that Dino and Sabertooth Cat, despite being squabbling housemates, actually had a very close and special relationship.
(Ross stares at Chandler with a blank expression)
Ross: Noo (continues looking at Chandler) Actually, National Geographic wants to interview me for a piece that they are doing on the mating and migrating trends of the ancient mammals of the North American glacial plane.
Chandler: (with a smug look) How about that. I nailed it! (Ross gives him a stern look but, by his expression change, realizes that in a way he was right.)
Joey: Hey Ross I think its great. You know, National Geographic was an important part of my childhood learning experience.
Ross: Thank you Joey.
Joey: Yea, I had the biggest collection of naked tribes women pictures in the entire neighborhood. Ill tell you, they were very educational.
Monica: Ross, I think I speak for everyone when I say; you should have seen that one coming.
Ross: Go ahead, make fun. I was just going to invite everyone out to dinner to celebrate. But since today seems to be; pick on poor professors of paleontology day, then Ill just (everyone comes up to congratulate him)
Chandler: You know, Ill have to check my holiday schedule at work. I might get that day off.
Ross: So hurry up! Chop! Chop! (claps his hands) Lets get ready!
Phoebe: Sure thing Hop Sing.
Ross: Come on, Ive got reservations for six at Antonio's in one hour. Wheres Rachel?
Monica: Shes at home resting. Shes had a rough day.
Ross: Oh really. Do you think shell want to come?
Phoebe: (excitedly) I dont think wild, flesh eating, pointy teeth, ferocious, smelly, (Phoebe continues to rant) unsightly, scab ravaged, oversized lizards could keep her (she realizes everyone is staring at her and changes her tone to softly and quietly) I dont know, why dont you ask her.
Monica: Ill run over and check on her.
Ross: Thats OK Mon, Ill go. (Ross leaves)
Chandler: People, I have a feeling we are in for an intriguing evening.
(Everyone nods in agreement)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Joey and Rachels apartment. Rachel is standing at the counter with her back to the door. She is spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread. Ross enters quietly, but not quietly enough for the average person to notice. He closes the door and comes up behind Rachel without her noticing.]
Ross: Hi Rach!
Rachel: (she is startled) Ah (she jumps and as she does she throws her slice of bread up in the air and it sticks to the ceiling.)
Ross: Rachel Im so sorry. I thought you heard me. (Rachel is trying to recover with her hand over her heart.)
Rachel: (trying to catch her breath) Ross! Oh God! No its OK. I I guess my mind was somewhere else.
Ross: Well it looks like your bread is also somewhere else. Do you want me to get that down for you?
Rachel: What? (looks up at the ceiling) Oh no. (laughs) Ill just grab some of Joeys jam and some gravity boots and finish that baby later. (laughs uncomfortably. She walks over to the other side of the counter and sits on a stool.)
Ross: So I heard you had a rough day today.
Rachel: (still trying to gather her composure) What? Oh no no. Just some (thinks of something) some problems with old orders at work thats all.
Ross: Awe Im sorry. (pause) Well Im here to cheer you up.
Rachel: (surprised) You you are?
Ross: Sure, you look like you could use some cheering up. Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?
Rachel: (shocked) Dinner? You and me? Dinner? The two of us?
Ross: Well actually it would be the six of us. Im doing an article for National Geographic, and I wanted to take everyone out for dinner to celebrate. Come on, what do you say? Its on me.
Rachel: (slightly disappointed) I dont know Ross. Im kind of tired and (cut by Ross)
Ross: Oh please Rach. It would mean so much to me if you were there.
(Rachel gets this look of fond reminiscence in her eyes)
Rachel: (softly) It would?
Ross: Of course it would. And I guarantee it will be better than eating peanut butter and jelly off of the ceiling.
Rachel: (Looks up again at the ceiling and laughs) I guess so. (She gazes into Ross eyes and knows that she cannot turn him down) Of course Ill come. I just have to get ready.
Ross: Oh thank you Rachel. (he walks over to her and gives her a hug. Rachel has her eyes closed and a sweet grin on her face. She doesnt want to let go.) Rach. (she continues to hold him tight) Rachel! (she finally lets him go. He steps back but still has his hands on her shoulders.) Wow OK so Ill see you at Monicas in half an hour.
Rachel: (softly) OK.
Ross: See ya. (after he says this he makes his way to the door and leaves the apartment.)
Rachel: (after he is gone) See ya. (she says it the same way as she did in TOW The Chick and the Duck. She is still behind the counter with her head leaning on her hands when the piece of bread from the ceiling falls back down right in front of her face. But she doesnt even notice. She just stares at the door.)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Italian Restaurant. All six are seated at a table. From left to right are Joey, Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe. Everyone is eating dinner.]
Monica: Boy, its been a while since Ive had Italian.
Joey: (Notices a cute waitress) Come to think of it, its been a long time since Ive had some Italian myself. (as he eyes the waitress in approval)
Chandler: Hey! Testosteroni man! If you dont stop drooling like that were going to have to put you in that fountain over there and throw quarters at your head.
(Pause for reaction)
Ross: So what do you guys think of this place? Pretty nice heh?
Phoebe: (excited) Oh yes Ross. I especially enjoyed the rustic Old Italian look of the doorman. I think he said something sexy to me in his native tongue when I tipped him.
Monica: Ah Phoebs, that guy was a bum who was begging for some lose change. (pause) But I do believe what he mumbled to you with his alcohol-soaked tongue did have a lot of sexual content.
Phoebe: (pauses to think) Ah, that would explain the strong rustic odor.
Ross: (notices Rachel) Rachel youve been awfully quiet tonight. Is everything OK?
(Rachel is looking down at her plate, picking at her food. Shes in her own world)
Ross: (spoken louder) Rach!
Rachel: (startled) Wha (she looks up quickly and as she does, she loses her fork. It goes flying up in the air and lands in the dessert cart behind her.)
Phoebe: Ooh Rachel good choice. I think Ill have the canoli for dessert too.
Ross: (concerned) Rachel what is wrong? You look so tense. Come here; let me give you a massage. You used to love these.
Rachel: Oh Ross I dont think this is a good place to (he starts massaging her shoulders) ahh (she sinks down in her chair leaning more towards Ross. She is getting very relaxed. Her eyes are closed and a smile appears on her face. Then she starts making little noises of pleasure.)
Phoebe: (whispers to the others) Do you think we should give them some privacy?
Joey: (eating) Hey, I dont care if he rips off the tablecloth and throws her up on top of it. Im gonna finish my Veal Scala whatever. This stuff is great!
(Rachel finally notices the others talking and comes back to earth)
Rachel: Oh Ross, wow. Thank you (Ross stops) That was incredible.
Ross: (proud of himself) Youre welcome.
(A beautiful and buxom waitress comes up behind Ross and around to his side so that her chest is level with Ross face)
Waitress: (in a sexy tone) Will there be anything else sir? (as she says this, Ross turns to face her and his eyes come within inches of her breasts. He then jumps back a little being caught off guard. Everyone notices this including Rachel.)
Ross: (flustered) Oh hi ah does does anybody want anything else?
Everyone: Nothing, all set.
Ross: Well I I guess that would be a no then. Just the chest I mean the check the check please! (waitress leaves to get the check)
Joey: Wow Ross did you see that, she was totally hot for you. Did you see the way she (he then notices the looks of "Just shut up!" that he is getting from Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe.) she she poured your glass of water? Filled it right up to the top, and with no ice falling into the glass. How about that?
(Rachel through all of this is starting to look very uncomfortable. Then the waitress returns with the check.)
Waitress: Here you go sir. Hope you enjoyed everything. (she puts extra emphasis on the last word as she gives Ross a generous view of her chest.)
Ross: (in a timid way) Thank you very much. (the waitress walks off. As Ross picks up the check off of the table, another piece of paper falls and lands on the table between Rachel and Ross. It has a name and phone number on it. Rachel glances at it and as she does, her expression changes. Ross is looking the other way and doesnt notice this. Rachel takes on a look of panic.)
Rachel: Excuse me! (she quickly gets up and heads for the ladies room)
(almost simultaneously, both Monica and Phoebe rise to their feet)
Monica/Phoebe: (in unison) Excuse me. (they leave to follow Rachel)
Ross: Whats up with them?
Chandler: (trying to cover) Well Im thinking that either they had a lot of that (turns to Joey with a glare and with emphasis) finely poured water, or they are discussing details of the wonderful and charming service weve received this evening.
[End of scene]
[Scene: Ladies room.]
Rachel: (disturbed) Oh my God you guys, what is wrong with me? (she paces back and forth) Why am I acting this way?
Monica: Rachel dont worry, It was just an awkward moment. Well work through this.
Rachel: Mon, how can we work through this? One minute Ross is massaging my neck and I am in heaven. (last word spoken with emphasis)
Phoebe: Yea, we were kind of there with you.
Rachel: Then then the next minute that damned tramp from the Gina Lolobridgida school of waitressing is hitting on him and I am at the height of jealousy. I gotta tell you, thats a little more emotional fluctuation than Im used to.
Monica: But Rachel, look on the bright side. This was a good way to test your true feelings for Ross. You know, to confirm that those emotions still exist and are as strong as they used to be.
Rachel: (calming down) Yea, I suppose youre right. (worried look) Oh God but what is Ross thinking about all of this? Do you think he suspects anything?
Phoebe: Rachel I think youre giving Ross a little to much credit here. He may know a lot about evolution, but he is definitely lacking when it comes to revelation.
Monica: Yea, Phoebs is right. Ross is probably going to need a little nudge in the right direction. (pause) and if that doesnt work, Ill personally give him a swift kick in the ass!
Rachel: Awe thanks guys. (they all get together for a group hug. Just then, Joeys agent Estelle enters and notices them hugging.)
Estelle: (clears her throat) Ah girls, I realize that this has probably been a very emotional experience for you all. But Ive got to warn you; Ive got some serious business to take care of in here. So unless you want to add some tears to your emotional foray, I suggest you scatter quickly because this Italian food isnt going to wait much longer.
(with that the girls make a hasty exit.)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Next day at Central Perk. Ross, Joey, and Chandler are there. Joey and Chandler on the couch and Ross on the big chair.)
Chandler: So Joe, whats new in the captivating, compelling, engaging, engrossing, provocative, poignant, and unbelievably predictable world of daytime drama?
Joey: (puzzled look) What?
Ross: The show Joey. Whats new on the show, Days of our Lives?
Joey: Oh. (excited) Oh oh I think they want me to play a dual role.
Chandler: Joey, theyve got to be running out of Ramorays. Unless they want you to play the little heard from, lesser known one that works at the medical uniform place downtown. You know, Dr. Fake Ramoray. (poses as a mannequin)
Joey: Very amusing. But this new role could test my acting abilities to the max.
Chandler: Joey, I think your acting abilities were pretty much maxed out when you played that gay carriage driver in the way Off-Broadway version of "Oklahomophobic".
Joey: (getting annoyed) Thats it. Im not telling you now. Im gonna talk to Ross instead. (turns to Ross) So anyway, they want me to play the ghost of the late Dr. (turns quickly to Chandler) Drake Ramoray Sr., who comes back to even the score with his old nemesis, Dr. Simmons, the current chief of staff at the hospital.
Ross: Joey thats great. (notices his chagrin) But I take it there is a problem.
Joey: (hesitant) Well yea there is a slight problem. (pause) The truth is (looks down embarrassed) Im kind of (mumbles softly) afraid of ghost.
Ross/Chandler: What did you say? I didnt hear you.
Joey: Im afraid of ghost! (says it loud enough for everyone in the coffee shop to hear. He sinks into the couch in embarrassment.)
Chandler: Joe, unless Dr. Drake Ramoray Sr. had a secret affiliation with the KKK, youve got nothing to worry about.
Ross: Joey lets look at this logically. (Chandler rolls his eyes) Your impression of what a ghost looks like has probably been skewed over the years. Possibly due to all of the cartoons and comic books you have been subjected to. Ghosts are largely misunderstood. Some of them are probably pretty nice ghouls. (Ross laughs at his lame joke attempt. He notices Joey has a look of total confusion.) What Im trying to say is the reason you have this fear of ghost is because you dont understand whats its like to actually be a ghost, you see. You have to put yourself in their (was going to say shoes but reconsiders) continuum, then you will realize that theyre not so bad.
(Joey nods in agreement)
Ross: Yea, its very similar to the way the T-Rex has been largely misunderstood with regards to their feeding (cut by Joey).
Joey: I got it Ross! (they stand)
Joey: Thanks Ross. I think I get what you are saying. Dont judge a ghost by its covering. (Joey laughs at his own joke. As they are standing there talking, Chandler has borrowed a white tablecloth from one of the waitresses and has it over his head approaching Joey from behind. He is holding a plate with a muffin on it.)
Chandler: Care for a muffin?
Joey: Yea sure. (as he turns around and looks at Chandler, he lets out a scream and jumps into Ross arms.)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the kitchen table looking at a magazine with pictures of wedding centerpieces in it.]
Monica: Now see Phoebs, the centerpiece is an important and integral part of the whole wedding reception experience.
Phoebe: (slightly bored) You dont say.
Monica: Well sure. Each one makes its own statement. Now this one (points) expresses an air of understated elegance. And this one (points) with the daisies screams out cheerfulness and gaiety.
Phoebe: (points to a page) Ooh Ooh, I like this one here!
Monica: Phoebe that is a basket of bread.
Phoebe: Of course, how perfect. And it kind of screams out its own message. Butter me eat me! (she gets up and leaves Monica with a blank expression on her face. Enter Rachel)
Rachel: Hey guys.
Monica: Well youre certainly in a much better mood today. Amazing what a shot from Cupids arrow can do to a girl.
Rachel: Yea well I think last night I could have used a shot or two from Cupid if he was serving up Jose Quervo.
(Reaction shot from girls)
Rachel: But then I sat down and thought God this whole thing seems so familiar. Its like Im exactly where I was years ago when Ross was dating Julie. Remember how miserable and pathetic I was back then.
Phoebe: Yea, but Rach this time there is no Julie.
Monica: And the only thing that is standing in your way is the misunderstood events of a tragic night that never should have happened in the first place. (introspective) My God did I actually just say that? I have got to cut down to two soap operas a day.
Rachel: But Im beginning to doubt if I can even trust my feelings anymore. They sure let me down the night we broke up. (pause) I never told you guys this, but I was this close (does the thing with the fingers) to forgiving Ross when he was on his knees pleading for another chance. But my insecurities won out over my instincts. (pause as she contemplates) God, imagine how different things would have been if I had trusted my instincts that night and given Ross that second chance. (she breaks out of her daze) But Ive decided Im not going to beat myself up about it anymore.
Phoebe: What do you mean Rachel?
Rachel: I think Im just going to lay low for a while. Leave things as they are right now.
Monica: But honey, how many times can you take nights like last night, with women hitting on Ross, and who knows maybe Ross hitting on other women? Thats going to be tough for you to handle.
Rachel: (slightly teary eyed) I know Mon. (pause) Look, Ross and I have been through so much together. We have this special bond, this connection to each other that will always be there. (confidently) I know that I love him. I know that he loves me. I just need to give him time to realize it on his own without any prodding or manipulations on my part. (pause) I owe him that much, dont you think?
Monica/Phoebe: (nod in agreement) Sure honey. (they go over to Rachel and give her a hug.)
Rachel: Mon, do you mind if I lay down for a while in my old bedroom? I cant explain it, but I seem to get some sort of strength from being in there. (thinks) I guess its kind of like my Tara.
Monica: Not at all. Go ahead sweetie. You can use this room as much as you want to. (they enter the room)
Rachel: (sits on the bed reflecting fondly) So many memories in this room.
Monica: Ill bet there are. Some of those memories kept me from getting a lot of sleep at night.
Rachel: (playfully hits her) Monica! (the girls all laugh and put their arms around each other.)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone but Rachel is present.]
Joey: So Ross, are you going to give that hot waitress a call? (everyone but Ross gives Joey the "Shut up you idiot" stare)
Joey: Orrr you could give me her number and I could call her for you.
Ross: I dont know Joey, but if I do decide to call her I dont think your vast telecommunications skills will be necessary.
Monica: Ross you dont want to go out on a date with her. She shes all wrong for you.
Ross: (curious) Now why would you say that?
Phoebe: Be Because she she works in the food service industry. And and (looks over at Monica) so does your sister Monica. So that would be like like dating your own sister. Ew ew how sick is that?
Chandler: Besides, did you get a good look at her eyes? (upon hearing that, Joey smiles)
Joey: Yea she had a great pair of
Chandler: (irritated as he glares at Joey pointing to his eyes) Her eyes! Her eyes!
Ross: What about her eyes?
Chandler: You could tell by the look in her eyes that shes definitely a psycho. (pause) One minute youre at her place enjoying a nice glass of wine, (says the next sentence quickly and intensely) and the next you are full of holes, wrapped in a shower curtain, stuffed in the trunk of a 57' Buick at the bottom of a swamp!
(everyone stops and looks at him)
Chandler: (gathering his composure) Of course if she has a shower door, then just disregard everything I just said. (pause as he looks at everyone) Im sorry, that movie has always creeped me out!
Ross: (who is still eyeing Chandler) OK I think I get the message. Ill hold off on calling her. (getting to his feet) Does anyone want anything?
Chandler: If you happen to spot my self-respect and dignity up there, Ill take that.
(Ross walks up to the counter where Gunther is working)
Ross: Hey Gunther, could you get me another cappuccino please.
Gunther: Oh sure thing Ross. Oh Ross, I saw an old close friend of yours in here the other day.
Ross: Oh really Gunther? Who?
Gunther: Chloe! It looked like she was having quite the conversation with Monica and Chandler.
(Ross mouth drops open. He becomes flustered and nervous)
Ross: Ch Ch Chloe? Chloe? Chloe Chloe?
Gunther: Yes that Chloe.
Ross: and and she was talking to Monica and Chandler?
Gunther: Gee, Maybe I shouldnt have said anything about it. Ya think?
Ross: (in a state of shock) No no thanks Gunther. (walks away slowly leaving his cappuccino on the counter. He makes his way over to the large chair as if in a trance)
Monica: Ross honey whats wrong? Are you OK?
Chandler: Yea you look like you just saw a (looks over at the counter and notices Gunther leaning on the counter, head in hands, grinning.) Gunther. Oh no.
Ross: (seriously and softly) You guys talked to Chloe?
Monica: (worried) Oh God Gunther told you.
Ross: (a little upset) When were you planning on telling me about this? (thinks for a few seconds and when there is no reply) Oh apparently never!
Monica: Ross its very complicated.
Ross: (calming down) Can I assume the conversation centered around me?
Chandler: Ross, think back carefully. How much do you really remember about that night?
Ross: (getting irritated) I dont know. Lets see, I I remember three things, yea three things. (holds up a finger for each one) I was drunk, I was depressed, and I slept with Chloe. I really had my mind focused on a totally different problem that night you know! (last line spoken in his "Mental Geller" way)
Monica: Think Ross. If you dont remember anything else that happened before you went to bed, what do remember about the next morning?
Ross: (calmer and deep in thought) Well lets see, I remember waking up and and noticed Chloe walking from the bathroom to the livingroom. (becoming agitated) Why? Why are you asking me about this? What did Chloe tell you?
Chandler: (slowly and seriously) Ross, Chloe never slept in your bed that night. She slept on the couch.
(Ross sits in the chair as if comatose)
Phoebe: Ross are you OK? (Ross is still motionless)
Joey: Ross buddy, what are you thinking?
(Ross finally rises to his feet)
Ross: (demanding) Wheres Rachel? Ive got to find Rachel!
(everyone silently looks at each other)
Ross: Ive got to talk to her! Where is Oh God. She already knows about this. (pause) You told her already didnt you?
(slight nod from Monica)
Ross: (with a look of realization) That explains her behavior lately. How did she take it? (no response) Monica please!
Monica: Ross you had better talk to her yourself. I left her at our apartment in her old room.
(Ross quickly turns and runs out the door)
[End of scene]
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas apartment. Ross enters quickly but quietly and closes the door. He stops to compose himself. He then walks over and glances in Rachels old bedroom, but doesnt find her there. He then looks up and notices someone out on the balcony looking over. He quietly climbs out onto the balcony. Rachel senses a presence.]
Rachel: (softly) Hello Ross. (without turning around)
Ross: (softly) Hello Rachel. How did you know it was me?
Rachel: (with tears forming in her eyes) Just a feeling.
(there is a pause as neither one knows what to say)
Ross: (softly) Yea, I I was just down at the coffee shop with the guys. Monica told me you were here. (he looks down briefly then back up) I wanted to see how you were doing.
(Rachel is still looking over the balcony trying to conceal her tears from Ross)
Rachel: Im Im fine Ross. Thank you.
(Ross can now tell that she is crying)
Ross: Rachel, I Ive been worried about you.
Rachel: Oh Ross (she can barely contain her emotions) you are so sweet to worry about me.
(Ross moves up close behind Rachel and puts his hands on her arms. Rachel initially tenses up but then slowly relaxes)
Ross: Rachel, there isnt a single day that goes by that I dont worry about you. (pause) That that I dont wonder about what you are feeling, or or what you are thinking, or what you are fearing, or what you are dreaming. (pause) Those are things that I used to share with you. That we used to share with each other. (he moves even closer) and they will always have a special place in my heart.
(Rachel is now crying a little harder, but still looking over the balcony)
Ross: Rachel it has meant so much to me to be able to remain friends with you all these years. Its allowed me to stay close to you, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Its enabled me to hold in my heart something that I dreamed and wished for since I was Thirteen, and to cherish that one precious year we were together, and to (looks down) mourn for ever since that dark night you looked me in the eye and told me it was over.
(Rachel cries harder after he makes the last statement, but she tries to compose herself. She is still looking over the balcony)
Rachel: Ross, can I ask you something?
Ross: Sure Rach, anything.
Rachel: (she now turns around to face Ross with tear-stained eyes. Pleading) Do you think you could find room for one more thing in all of this?
Ross: Rachel, what is it?
Rachel: (softly) Forgiveness? Forgiveness for being such a stubborn and foolish idiot? Forgiveness for proposing a break from the most special relationship ever? Forgiveness for not being there when you needed me the most? (she is getting more emotional as she talks) Forgiveness for destroying four years of something that could have been so precious and wonderful? (as she says this she breaks down) Oh Ross Im so sorry!
(They come together in a passionate embrace. They continue to hug and both cry for about 15 seconds. Then Ross pulls away slightly to look into Rachels eyes which are full of tears. He takes his thumb and wipes some of the tears away.)
Ross: Rachel, our relationship was filled with mistakes and misunderstandings, probably more than the next. But as we shared equally in the passion, and the warmth, and the tenderness that made our love so special, we have to share equally in the jealousy, and pettiness, and mistrust that ended it prematurely. No one person is to blame sweetie.
(Rachel looks up with a smile on her face. Surprised)
Rachel: Ross, you called me sweetie. You havent called me that in such a long time. It sounds so good, so right, so so perfect.
Ross: Rachel sweetie, in my eyes, you are perfect.
(Rachels smile widens as she embraces Ross even tighter)
Rachel: And Ross honey, theres something I want to say to you that I havent said in a long time.
Ross: (he has Rachel in full embrace and is kissing the top of her head) and what might that be?
Rachel: (she backs away a little to look Ross in the eyes with a loving, confident, and determined gaze) I love you Ross Geller!
Ross: (with the same conviction) and I love you Rachel Green!
(They embrace in a passionate kiss. Crowd goes wild. After a while, Rachel breaks)
Rachel: So can I be your girlfriend again?
Ross: Rachel, nothing in the entire world could possibly make me happier!
[to be continued ]