TOW The Reunion
-Ross and Rachel are married, but Emma doesnít exist.
-Rachel comes in the apartment with the mail. Ross is on the couch grading papers.
Rachel: Hey babe!
Rachel: So, how was your day?
Ross: You know, the same; went to work, lectured a class, made students wake up from the class, went to lunch, lectured another class, made students wake up again from the class, went home, and oh yeah, the lamp broke.
Rachel: That bad, huh?
Ross: NoÖjust the usual.
Rachel: (Sits down next to him, kisses him, and looks through the mail) Letís see, billsÖflyerÖbillsÖfree sample of hand detergentÖyour subscription to Paleontology AficionadoÖmy subscription to InStyleÖand, whatís this?
Ross: Is it that bill from National Geographic? Because if it is, I already paid them for the insect and wildlife calendars. Oh, and I should call them too, they forgot to send my free horned-frog T-shirt.
Rachel: (Looking at him weirdly) Honey, I love you, butÖOh my God!
Rachel: (Reads the letter) Ross! Itís a letter from Lincoln High School!
Ross: Is it what I think it is?
Rachel: Yes, they said that next weekend is my 15-year high school reunion!
Rachel: You want to go?
Ross: Not really. (Pauses and looks at her) See, we didnít got to mine last year because I didnít want to, and since itís basically the same reunion this year, I think Iíll pass again.
Rachel: Well, we didnít go last year because it was your invitation and your decision, but this year they invited me.
Ross: Then you go, and Iíll stay here.
Rachel: But were married.
Ross: They donít know that.
Rachel: Are you embarrassed to go back to school with me?
Ross: No, Iím not embarrassed. Why would I be embarrassed? You were the head cheerleader, homecoming queen, and one of the most popular girls in school! (Pauses and makes a face) Wait a minute, somethingís not right here. Why wouldnít I want to go with the head cheerleader, homecoming queen, and the most popular girl in school?
Rachel: See, come on, itíll be so much fun.
Ross: I donít know; the reason I didnít go last year was because I really didnít have that much fun in high school.
Rachel: But this is my reunion.
Ross: Itís the same school! We went to the same school!
Rachel: (Giving him the puppy dog eyes) PleaseÖfor me?
Ross: Hey, those are my puppy dog eyes.
Rachel: I promise, itíll be fun.
Ross: Fine, you win.
Rachel: Thank you, sweetie.
Ross: Okay, since you used the puppy dog eyes on this one, you only get to use it one more time this year. Then thatís it!
-Monica and Chandlerís
Monica: Ross actually said yes to go with you!?
Rachel: Uh, huh! I canít wait to go. (Slight pause) Why arenít you going again?
Monica: Chandler has this meeting in Boston and wanted me to go with him.
Rachel: He canít go by himself?
Monica: You know Chandler, heíll be in a new city, then heíll get lost, then heíll have to call me, then Iíll have to come over there and comfort him. Itíll be a big hassle for me if I stayed.
Rachel: (Pauses) You know what, I bet you that you have more pants in your closet than Chandler has in his.
Monica: I do, I do.
Rachel: (Smiles) I cannot wait for my reunion. I canít wait to see my old high school friends, and talk to my old teachers.
Monica: Is Ross excited?
Rachel: (Looks at Monica) WellÖnot really, but I promised him we would have a lot of fun.
Monica: Why are you so excited? I really donít care if I go or not. And Ross probably feels the same way.
Rachel: No Mon., he absolutely does not want to go.
Monica: Could you blame him?
Rachel: What do you mean?
Monica: Rachel, he wasnít exactly the most popular kid in school. He was made fun of a lot, and he was considered a geek.
Rachel: But that was 15 years ago. Ross is not a geek and he barely gets made fun of anymore.
Monica: Maybe itís because youíre married to him and known him for such a long time after high school, you wouldnít consider him a geek, but the people at the reunion may think otherwise.
Rachel: (Pauses) Maybe youíre right. Maybe I should go by myself.
Ross: Hey Mon., hey sweetie, why arenít you at home? (They kiss)
Rachel: I was just talking to Monica aboutÖabout our reunion.
Ross: Oh, about that. (Takes her hands) Listen, Iím sorry about not wanting to be there with you. But Iím excited that youíre excited about going. I think we will have a great time.
Rachel: Are you sure you want to go?
Monica: Yeah, did you remember high school?
Ross: I had a good time in high school. I won all those science fairs, was on the honor roll, and was president of the Biology club. I had a good timeÖ.Listen, Iím going to go and make dinner alright? I just wanted to find you to apologize.
Rachel: (Smiles) Thank you, sweetie. Iíll be home after I talk to Monica.
Ross: Okay, bye. (They kiss then he exits the apartment)
Monica: I just hope Ross knows what heís getting himself into, and you too.
Rachel: Me, what about me?
Monica: I mean, the most popular girl in school married to a geek?ÖI love Ross and I know that he is not a geek, but the people at the reunion are not me. They may beó
Rachel: Mon., what are you saying?
Monica: Iím just sayingÖwhat if your old friends donít see Ross the way that you and I see him. What if they still see him as a geek and judge you for marrying him?
-The night of the reunion; Ross is ready, while Rachel is still getting ready.
Ross: Man, I hope Stevie and Will are going to be there. They were so cool.
Rachel: (Turns away from the mirror to look at him) Really?
Ross: Yeah, Stevie could reenact the first 27 scenes of Star Wars, and Will can remember all the elements in the periodical table, in reverse.
Rachel: Wow, and are there careers for what dumb and dumber do?
Ross: Donít make fun of my high school friends. I donít make fun of yours.
Rachel: Ross, thereís nothing that you can make fun of.
Ross: Youíre probably right, you canít make fun of slutty people, and all you can do is tell them that theyíre slutty.
Rachel: (Smiles) Shut-up.
Ross: (Looks at her) Wow. You look amazing. I canít believe Iím married to you. I canít wait to tell me friends that I banged the head cheerleader.
Rachel: Thatís nice, sweetie, very romantic.
Ross: Iím joking, Seriously, you look great.
Rachel: Thank you. You look pretty good yourself, mister.
Ross: So, are you ready?
Rachel: Yeah, just have to find my shoes.
Ross: (Pauses) Okay, I think Iíll go make some popcorn and watch Jurassic Park 1,2,and 3. Are you going to be done by then?
Rachel: Iím not that bad, just another 5 minutes.
Ross: Another 5 minutes and weíll be going to our 20-year reunion party.
Rachel: (In the bedroom shouting) Ross, listen, Iím sorry if Iím dragging you to this! Are you sure you want to go!? I mean, we can stay at home and watch a movie or something!
Ross: (Shouting back) Itís okay! Why are you so worried all of a sudden!?
Rachel: (Coming out into the living room) Itís just thatÖ(slight pause) you know what, never mind.
Ross: Whatís going on?
Rachel: Iím ready, you want to go or stay so I can look at more shoes?
Ross: ÖAnd weíre outta here!
-Lincoln High School. Ross and Rachel arrive and enter the gym. Heís wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a blue tie. Sheís wearing a black-laced dress cut at the knees.
Rachel: Wow, it looks like a high school dance.
Ross: Iíd always wondered what they looked like.
Rachel: (Smiles) Come on, letís get some punch.
Ross: Okay, but if itís spiked, Iím telling the principal.
-Time lapse. The principal is in front of a mike and talks.
Principal: Welcome, all Lincoln High graduates of 1983! (Everyone applauses) I hope you guys have a great time talking, dancing, and reminiscing. Enjoy, and itís such a pleasure to see almost everyone here.
-More applause as we see Ross and Rachel sitting at a table.
Ross: Are you having a good time?
Rachel: Yeah, I am.
Ross: Iím glad and I (looks around)Ölook at those girls over there.
Ross: Over there hitting on our gym teacher.
Rachel: OhÖmyÖ godÖitís Cindy, Carrie, and Kate.
Rachel: Cindy, Carrie, and Kate; my best friends in high school.
Ross: Oh, how convenient, theyíre all together.
Rachel: Wow, they look great.
Ross: (Looks at Rachel) Well, go over there! You havenít seen them in years.
Rachel: Oh wow, look at me, Iím nervous. I donít know if I want to.
Ross: What are you talking about, go over there!
Rachel: Come with me.
Ross: ÖNah, theyíre your friends. I donít know them at all.
Rachel: Come on, weíre married.
Ross: Is that your answer to everything? ďWeíre married?Ē
Rachel: (Smiles at him) Letís go, theyíre really fun girls.
Ross: Alright, but if they act slutty, Iím leaving.
-Rachel grabs Rossí hand and takes them over to the other side of the gym.
Rachel: Cindy? Carrie? Kate? Itís me! Rachel!
Girls: Rachel! Oh my god!
Rachel: How are you girls doing!?
Carrie: Weíre good!
Kate: How are you doing!?
Rachel: Iím doing great.
Cindy: Thatís wonderfulÖOh, and whom is this handsome man standing next to you?
Rachel: This is my husband, Ross.
Ross: Hi, nice to meet you.
Kate: Same here. So, Rachel, you got married?
Rachel: Yeah, me and Ross have been married for a year now. We celebrated our anniversary about a month ago.
Kate: Congratulations. So, Ross, how is married life for you?
Ross: It depends on which marriage? (He laughs, the girls are confused, and Rachel hits his side)
Cindy: Iím sorry?
Ross: (Looks at Rachel, then back to the girls) Nothing, nothing, just joking. Being married to Rachel is such a thrill, and you can expect the unexpected. (Rubs his side)
Kate: So what school did you go to Ross?
Rachel: No, you see, he went to this school too.
Kate: Oh, thatís wonderful, when did you graduate?
Ross: Uh, 1982.
Kate: (Confused as like the other two) But, we graduated in 1983. How come we didnít see you around school?
Carrie: Yeah? You were on the football team, right?
Ross: Uh, no.
Carrie: Basketball team?
Carrie: What team were you on?
Ross: The academic bowl team. (Looks at the girls) We made state finals, you know.
Carrie: (Confused) Thatís nice. (Slight pause) So were you on the prom court?
Ross: No, I didnít go to prom.
Kate: Were you sick?
Ross: No, I didnít have a date.
Ross: (Being sarcastic) Because I was butt ugly, and you know that they donít let butt ugly people go to any dances.
Cindy: Oh, Iím so sorry to hear that. Being ugly can put so much stress on a person.
Ross: (Looks at Rachel) Iím going to get some punch, (looks at the girls) and feel insecure about myself. Excuse me ladies.
-Ross exits to the refreshment stand as the girls continue to talk.
Cindy: Why donít I remember him?
Kate: Me as well.
Carrie: Was he some kind of exchange student?
Rachel: Yeah, Lincoln High didnít have enough Jews, so we exchanged a Hispanic person for Ross.
Cindy: So thatís how they do it.
Rachel: What? No, Ross went to Lincoln all four years; he was just a grade ahead of us.
Kate: OhÖbut still, we should have known about him, I mean if he was at all popular, we should have known who he was.
Cindy: Yeah, I donít get it.
Rachel: Look, Ross wasnít that popular in high school.
Carrie: Oh, so why are you with him? Is he rich?
Kate: Is he good in bed?
Rachel: (Smiles) Yes, but thatís not it.
Kate: Then what is it?
Rachel: Iím with him because Iím in love with him and he makes me happy.
Kate: Oh. (Pauses) Well, Iím with Todd; he makes me happy and he is rich. He also played football and was the prom king.
Carrie: My Anthony is also rich; he was a two-sport athlete and the homecoming king.
Cindy: Well my Kurt was not only the homecoming king, but the class president too. He played baseball, and is also very rich.
Rachel: (Looks at the girls) Well, my Ross is upper-middle class richÖand heÖhe was on the honor roll, and was also presidentÖof the Biology club.
-The girls all snicker
Carrie: Oh, weíre sorry, Rachel. That was mean.
Cindy: Yeah, Ross seems like a nice guy.
Rachel: He is, he is so sweet. (Pauses and tries to change the subject) So, what are you girls doing for a living?
Cindy: (Thinks) Well, we go to the salon, the tanning place, and sometimes all three of us go into the city for a massage.
Rachel: What, you guys donít work?
Cindy: Work, (confused) whatís work?
Rachel: You guys donít have jobs?
Carrie: What do we need to have jobs for if our husbands are rich? I mean maybe we would try to find something if weíre not well off, but we are, soÖ
Rachel: Oh, thatís nice.
Carrie: So, do you work, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah, I work at Ralph Lauren.
Girls: Wow/Fantastic/Good for you.
Rachel: Thank you.
Carrie: Does Ross work, or do you have to support him?
Rachel: No, Ross works; heÖhe works at the university. Heís a professor.
Carrie: Neat. (Changes the subject) So, where do you guys live?
Rachel: (Slight pause) Oh, in the city; the west village to be exact.
Kate: Really, do you own a house?
Rachel: No, Ross and I live in an apartment. (Slight pause) But, we are looking to move into the country soon. We talked about houses in Scarsdale.
Kate: Thatís wonderful; Scarsdale is such a beautiful place, but rather expensive. Can you guys afford it, I mean Ross is only a teacher.
Rachel: (Upset) Ross is a professor. The students all call him Dr. Geller.
Kate: But heís not a real doctor is he?
Rachel: Heís a doctor of Paleontology.
Girls: Doctor of what!?
-We shift sides at the party and Ross has met his friends from high school.
Will: Man, I canít believe we did that!
Stevie: (Laughing) I know, but it was so worth it. I mean missing a social life to see The Empire Strikes Back was totally worth it.
Will: Too bad you couldnít be there, Ross.
Stevie: Yeah, you were probably too busy looking at Rachel to hang out with us half the time.
Ross: It worked out for me in the end, didnít it?
Stevie: I still canít believe you got her to marry you. Twice! (Laughs)
Will: Yeah, Ross, how drunk was she!? (Laughs)
Ross: WellÖthe first timeÖshe and I were really drunkÖbut the second time, we were both very sober.
Will: Man, a woman like that, with a body like that, she must be great in the sack. Am I right, Ross?
Stevie: Yeah, you have to tell Will some details; he hasnít done it since Return of the Jedi came out.
Ross: (Smiles) Iím sorry, but Iím not going to tell you guys stuff like that.
Will: Why not?
Ross: Because, sheís my wife, and I have total respect for her.
Will: Ross, she canít hear you! You donít have to suck up. Sheís with her popular friends; they donít listen to people like us.
Ross: (Confused) What do you mean, ďpeople like us?Ē
Will: You know, the different cliques in high school: jocks, cheerleaders, outcasts, geeks, etc.
Ross: (Smiles) You guys, grow up. That was 15 years ago, weíre all grown up now; there are no cliques.
Will: Oh yeah, look around the room. What do you see?
Ross: (Looks around the room) I see people having a good time at a reunion party.
Will: You see cliques having a good time at a reunion party.
Stevie: Yeah. Look, (pointing) the jocks are with the jocks, the cheerleaders are with the cheerleaders, and you are with the geeks.
Ross: (Looks around and realize that Will and Stevie are right) Wow. Thatís weird.
Stevie: I know, me and Will are right about something.
Ross: No, not thatÖItís just that after 15 years, some people stay the same.
Will: That probably goes for your wife too.
Ross: I said some, not all. Rachel is different, she isnít like any other cheerleader.
Will: Then tell me this, Ross. Why isnít she here with you; why is she over there with her cheerleader friends?
-We then move back to Rachel and her friends from high school. Rachel feels that she doesnít belong there, but tries to be happy because she is with her friends.
Carrie: And thatís why I said yes.
Kate: That is so beautiful.
Cindy: I think Iím going to cry, but Iím not because it will ruin my make-up.
Rachel: Yes, Carrie; that was a very romantic story. I never had someone who said yes to marriage because of the ring the man gave her.
Carrie: Do you want to see it? Iíve got pictures in my purse?
Rachel: Thatís okay.
Kate: So, how did Russ propose to you?
Rachel: Uh, itís Ross. And it was so romantic.
Kate: It couldnít have been more romantic than Carrieís; could it?
Rachel: (Looks at Kate) I donít know, but when Ross proposed, it was so unexpected. Heó
Carrie: Oh Rach, letís not get into details. Letís talk about something else.
Rachel: (Confused) Oh, like what?
Kate: Oh, how about Pete Carney.
Rachel: My ex-boyfriend?
Carrie: Yes, it seems that Pete couldnít make it tonight because he just bought his second yacht and was taking it out for a spinÖto the Caribbean.
Kate: Oh, that place is amazing and so was Pete. Rachel, I think you made a big mistake by letting Pete go.
Carrie: Now listen Kate, Rachel didnít make a mistake about Pete; she didnít like him. Thatís why she went for Barry. (Pauses and thinks) But that somehow didnít work either? Oh, Iím sorry Rachel.
Cindy: Yeah, we know how you feel. Itís hard to be alone.
Rachel: (In her head) What are you bitches deaf or something!? (Now out loud) What are you talking about? Iím married to Ross!
Carrie: Yes, we know, but when that marriage fails, weó
Rachel: WaitÖwhat do you mean, ďWhen that marriage fails?Ē Who says that my marriage to Ross is going to be a failure?
Carrie: You actually think that you and Ross will last?
Rachel: Yes I do, and Iím very upset at you three for judging our relationship. You barely know Ross.
Kate: Rachel, sweetie, we are only looking out for you. We are all best friends.
Rachel: No, we are not best friends, we were best friends 15 years ago. (Pauses) Now, I donít even wanna know you three.
-We now go to the geek side of the reunion.
Ross: (Looks across the gym) Man, Rachel looks upset. I should go over there.
Will: I donít know; you might get eaten alive.
Ross: Relax guys, sheís my wife and she looks uncomfortable.
Will: Hang out here where you belong.
Ross: What!? (Looks at Will and Stevie) Are we in gangs now?
Stevie: Thatíd be so cool. (Pauses) Letís be the T-Birds!
Will and Stevie: What!?
Ross: You guys are dorks.
Stevie: Whatís your point? Youíve always known that weíre dorks, and youíre one too!
Ross: (Looks at them) Listen guys, it was nice to see you again, but Iím feeling a little sick right now. Iím going to get Rachel, and I think weíre going to head out.
Will: No, stay awhile.
Stevie: Yeah, drink some Zimas with us.
Ross: Iím sorry; maybe weíll see each other again at our 30-year high school reunion.
Will: ÖBut, by that time, we could change.
Ross: (Pauses and looks at the two) Good. (Slight pause) Iíll see ya.
-Ross walks away leaving Will and Stevie speechless. Ross then starts to walk towards Rachel but stops halfway to listen to her.
Rachel: I canít believe you guys have the decency to judge Ross. Just because he isnít rich like your husbands, doesnít give you the opportunity to think that youíre higher than him in any way. (Pause) I canít believe I hung out with you guys, and I canít believe I was like you. (Looks at them) But Iím glad I didnít turn out like you three. And Iím so glad I married Ross.
Carrie: Are you finished with that little speech now?
Rachel: Yes, I am. (Turns and walks towards Ross, but turns back to the girls) Oh, and Ross was right, you are slutty.
Carrie: (Pause) I canít believe she just said that.
Cindy: I know, Iím more skanky than slutty.
Kate: And Iím more of a bitch than a slut.
Cindy: What are you, Carrie?
Carrie: (Pauses) Iím a pure slut.
Cindy: Wow, you never find those kinds of people any more.
-Rachel walks to the center of the gym to meet Ross. They both smile knowing they both did the right thing. They then shared a kiss.
Rachel: Iím sorry about tonight. It wasnít very fun was it?
Ross: No, it wasnít, but Iím glad we came.
Rachel: Whyís that?
Ross: (Pauses) Tonight made me realize that high school was nothing special, and that itís in the past.
Rachel: Tonight made me think that too. (Pauses and looks around) But I guess for some, high school was all that they have.
Ross: Well, Iím glad I have you.
Rachel: Iím glad you have me too.
Ross: And Iím so glad that you called them sluts. That was so cool.
Rachel: It was, and it felt great! (Slight pause) You wanna go and see your friends?
Ross: NoÖno, you were right about them. (Looks at her) What do you say we get out of this time machine, and never come back?
Rachel: (Sighs) I agree. (Slight pause) So, I guess itís only the present and the future for us.
Ross: Thatís fine with me. Letís just go and see our real friends back home.
Rachel: (Smiles) Yeah!
-Ross and Rachel exit the reunion party hand-in-hand and headed for their car.
Ross: So, if our past is gone, does that mean my 3 divorces are gone too?
Rachel: No, that has to stay.
Rachel: Your 3 divorces gives you character.
Ross: WhatÖthatÖthat I have no self control?
Rachel: (Smiles at him) I love you, my divorcing guy.
Ross: (Gives in and smiles at her) I love you too, former slut.
The EndÖ July 18, 2002