TO In The Woods Part 2!
Have you been waiting for part 2 for a week! Well its FINALLY here! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and
Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only
(SCENE ONE: Chandler and Monica are in the van. The rest are sitting next to it,
except Rachel who won't sit.)
(Chandler's screams are heard. They all look towards the van. Monicaís head pops out)
Monica: Hey Phoebe do you have a first aid kit somewhere?
Phoebe: umm. Yea. Check behind the engine.
(Monica gives her a strange look and sees Joey grabbing for the chips)
Monica: Joey! Donít eat the chips yet! Wait until later, as we must conserve the food!
Joey: Well.. Iím just conserving it in my stomach.
Monica: Joey!(reaching out her hand) give me the chips.
(Joey has defeated sad look on his face as he hands them to her and she snatches them
Monica:Ross, make sure NO-ONE eats the chips till later. (she hands them to him and
returns to the van)
(They all hear some moans and groans and occasional screams and running around in the
All but C&M: Sigh
Ross: I sure am hungry.
Rachel: yea me too!
Joey: Me three!
(They all look at the chips bag that Ross is holding onto then look at Ross)
Ross: We canít..
All: yea youíre right (they all look at the bag and start drooling)
(Ross takes the bag out and hands a chip to each of them and they all start eating them)
(Monica comes out of the door again a little out of breath and sees them all munching on the
chips. Ross hides the bag of chips and they all immediatly stop chewing and look at her)
Monica:(Gasp) You guys! I told you not to eat the chips!
Joey:(innoncently) We didnít EAT any. (some chips come flying out of his mouth and
Monica gives him the look) Ok, maybe we had some. But we are starving
Monica: You ate 2 hours ago!
(Chandlerís head pops out of the van and they all look at him)
All Except Monica: Hey! How you feeling?
(both Monica and Chandlerís heads are down)
Monica: Hey look, Iím sorry I had to go that far.
(the rest are curious now)
Chandler: So is my butt!
Monica: Well maybe if you hadnít been such a baby!
Chandler: That really hurt!
Monica: I hadnít even touched you!
Chandler: Well, the anticapation of the on-comming pain hurt!
Monica:(sigh) Well.. Do you feel better now?
Chandler: Well. (thinks) .. You know what? I do feel better.
Monica: Good, because you know that's what really matters.
Monica:What did you say?
Chandler: I was just thinking (pause) how wonderful you are.
Monica: awww thats so sweet. (she comes over and kisses him)
Monica: Whatís the matter now?
Chandler: The door.. the door
(we see the door hitting his butt)
Monica: (She opens the door all the way to help him. As he hobbles out, he carries
a small pillow.) You ok?
Chandler: (painful look) yea..yea Iím fine.
Monica: Are you sure? I could help you some more.
Chandler: NO NO NO..no..Iím Iím fine really!
Monica: Ok, but donít complain to me!
(SCENE TWO: They are all wondering around looking for something to eat. Joey even starts eating
grass, while Monica starts the fire, it's dusk and getting dark fast)
Phoebe:(She sees a small grasshoper on the ground) Hey little (pause) run run save
yourself! (Phoebe goes next to Monica)
Monica:(finishing up the fire) Ok, the fire is all set.
All Except Monica:(unethusaistic) Yay
Monica: Whatís the matter with you guys, this is supposed to be fun!
Rachel: FUN? fun? You call THIS fun? My shoes are soaked, Chandler can barely move,
Pheobe is scared to go near any animals, and Joeyís eating grass!
(Joey stops eating the grass)
Monica: Hey you know, itís not all that bad, why dont we try and make the best of
(they all throw grass at her)
Monica: Come on. Oh oh I got an idea. Why donít we sit by the fire and tell scary
(Yes, by now it is almost completely dark)
Ross: ha! Like those stupid fake stories scare me.
Monica: Oh really? Did you forget the time we told the story about the little teddy bear
and you slept in our parents' bed that night?
Ross: Please, I was only 8.
Monica: You were EightTEEN.
(They all laugh)
Ross:Well yes, but our parents weren't in it! You couldnít
scare me NOW even if you tried.br>
Monica: Weíll see about that.
Phoebe: Monicaís right, I think it would be fun! I never got to tell scary stories
Joey: Yea! Thatís not a bad idea.
(Rachel walks over and grabs a blanket and puts it on the
ground making sure its perfect and sits squarly in the middle of it, Chandler puts down his little
pillow that he hasnt let go of and carefully sits down wincing. The others find a rock to sit
Chandler: Don't we look like the not so remembered neighbors of the Waltons.
Monica: hmmm weíre missing something.
Joey: oh I know! PIZZA!
Monica: no. But, we should roast something over an open fire, you wouldnít happen to
have any Marshmellows would ya Phoebe?
Phoebe: Nope, oh but we could use these chips!
Monica: Ok! Good idea. These weíll do. Everyone find a stick.
(Chandler looks at her as if she were going to make him move again)br>
Monica: Here use these, (she throws them all a small stick)
(They each put the chip on the end of the stick and roast it over the fire, Joey tries to eat the chips
without roasting them but Monica wonít let him near the bag, defeated he gives up and roasts
them like the rest)
Monica: Ok Who wants to tell a story first?
Joey: ooo, I got one!
Monica: Is it a dirty one?
Joey: Ohh, it canít be?
Monica: Scary, not dirty.
Joey: Ohh then no.
Monica: Ok I guess Iíll go first.(throwing some sand on the fire to make it crackle)
Once upon a time.
Ross: (interrupting sarcastically)Oh I am so scared of Little Miss Riding Hood.
Monica: (gives him the look) ONCE upon a time there was there were 3 guys,
Joandler, Chanooey, and Roeyan. (The guys giver her a strange look)
Ross: Like using our names is going to scare us (when she looks
away he gulps)
Monica: As I was saying..
It was a dark, chilly night, with the wind howling around the woods. Owls
hooted in the distance as they made their way through their woods, but
ultimately found themselves lost in the wilderness. Deciding to give up until
daybreak so they could get their bearings and hopefully find their way home,
they sat down on the ground and tried to get to sleep. The THREE guys,
Joeandler, Chanoey and Roeyan sat down in a clearing and tried to make
themselves comfortable and attemepted to get some sleep.
(They all yawn pretending like they arenít scared, but yet they are quite interested)
Chanoey and Joandler eventually drifted off to sleep, but Roeyan couldn't..
he sat up, and listened. Off in the distance he heard a rustling sound, as if
something was dragging through the undergrowth. "Just a squirrel"
(Joey is shaking and grabs onto Chandler who looks at him as if he is acting like a baby then he
gets scared and is happy that Joey is near him)
he thought... eventually Roeyan got to sleep, but was awakened in the night
by a strange sensation on the bottom of his feet, as if something was tickling
it... he looked down and was horrified to see a swarm of rats all over (ok)
the bottom of his feet. Screaming, he attmepted to get up but they were
holding him down.
(Rachel screams and Ross puts his arms around her as she inches closer)
Joeandler and Chanoey were still asleep, and he kept screaming and yelling
at them to get up but they wouldn't... The rats swarmed around over Roeyan
and his screams were muffled by the hundreds of rats covering him... then
the rats went over to Chanoey and Joeandler, and they woke up screaming
as the rats covered their bodies in a writhing mass of horrible tails and furry
bodies.... there was nothing they could do: they were helpless.
(Joey is terrified and his head is now on Chandlerís lap as Phoebe is
covering her eyes)
After a week a search party was sent out to find them, but no sign was ever
found of them since, no skeletons or an indication that they were even there.
(They all recompose themselves and separate)
Monica: More scary than you thought eh?
All: No, I wasnít scared at all!
(Monica looks at them knowing that they were)
Pheobe: Umm you know I think we should go to bed.
All: yea good idea!
Monica: (whispers to herself) Wimps.
(They all go to get in the van and realize there isnít enough room)
Rachel: Whoa, whoa, what do you guys think youíre doing?
Ross: uh Going to sleep.
Rachel: There isnít enough room, I think the guys should sleep outside.
Joey: No way it's scary out there!
Monica: I thought you guys werenít scared by the story.
Chandler: We werenít... uh Joey just meant that its scary to try to sleep on such a hard
ground, because it would be impossible.
Rachel: I thought guys were suppose to be all rough and outdoorsey.
Ross: well, uhh ok we will weíll sleep outside.
Chandler & Joey What?
Ross: Come on you guys it would be fun, sleeping under the stars.
Chandler: Maybe in your dreams, but I would rather sleep in the van.
Monica: Chandler, please... Iíll make it up to you.
Chandler:(intrigued) realllly.. How so?
Monica: (giggles) You know.
Chandler: Ok then, WE (points to the guys) are sleeping outside.
(SCENE THREE: The three guys are outside lying on the ground, snuggled under the
blankets that the girls gave them. Chandler is in the middle, the pillow
still under his butt.)
Joey: You canít go to sleep!
Joey: What about the rats?
Chandler: Joey, that was just a fake story Monica made up, go to sleep.
Joey: Are you sure?
Chandler: Yes! Goodnight!
(Joey finally lays down and tries to close his eyes, but he freaks out when the wind rustles the trees)
Joey: (shaking Chandler) Chandler, Chandler! Did you hear that?
Chandler: How can I, if you are screaming in my ear! Joey, go to sleep!
Joey:But, but the rustling!
Chandler: Have you ever heard of wind? Now go to sleep!
(He finally stops bugging poor Chandler and closes his eyes, but he freaks out when something tickes his feet.
He runs into the van and to make room he takes some of their bags out and puts
them outside the van. He lays his head down next to Phoebe.)
(Ross then feels the same tickling and hears the crinkling of the bag)
Ross:(Shaking Chandler) Chandler wake up wake up!
Chandler: Joey go back to sleep, and stop shaking me!
Ross: Umm, not Joey!
Chandler:(looks up) oh sorry man. Why are YOU shaking me?
Ross: I heard something and I felt tickling on my feet!
Chandler: Oh my god, not you too!
Ross: Man Iím serious! Look Joey is gone!!
Chandler: Maybe he went to the bathroom or something. (He then feels the same tickling
on his feet) OH MY GOD, lets get out of here!
Ross: you felt it too?
Chandler: Yes I felt it! Come on let's get in the van!
(They run into the van and see the other stuff. Chandler forgets his pillow and has to run back
and get it while Ross waits. Chandler runs in, places his pillow down carefully, and lays down
carefully next to Monica putting her in his arms. She comfortably snuggles in them. Ross not
knowing where to sleep, sleeps at their feet.)
(SCENE FOUR: In the Van all six of them are squished in pratically lying on top of each other.
Luckily the guys are good and set themselves up carefully so as not to wake the girls)
(Ross is woken and he moves causing..)
(Phoebe is woken and she moves causing..)
(Joey is woken and he moves causing.)
(Monica is woken and she moves causing..)
Chandler: (heís still half asleep and his eyes are closed)What is with all the
(Monica gets up causing Chandler to fully awaken. He realizes where he is, and the girls look at
Chandler:Oh, hey girls...Good morning!
Rachel:(her hair is a mess) Chandler! What are you guys doing in here!??
Ross: We thought you guys would need company.
Phoebe: OH so you guys got scared because you heard something so you came in
Joey: Howíd you know?
(Ross and Chandler give him the look)
Monica: haha! Admit it my story scared you!
Ross:No.. NO..no.no.. it didnít.
Chandler:(shakes Ross) Hey mister shakey remember last night?
(Ross looks at him)
Chandler: Sorry man, donít wake me up next time!
Rachel:(looking for her clothes) Where is my bag?
Joey: Ohh, I had to put it outside to make room.
Rachel: WHAT? You put MY clothes outside.
Phoebe: Rachel it's ok. Letís just go get them all right?
Joey: Yea plus, you know, its not just your clothes, its everyones.
Phoebe: You put mine outside too?
Monica: and mine??
(Joey sees where this is going and runs outside. They all follow and
(their clothes are everywhere, nothing is left in their bags)
Joey:(Joey runs over to Rachel) How you doiní
Rachel:Joey!!! (she starts hitting him)
Joey:oww oww oww. Iím sorry ok? Iíll help you pick them up.
Rachel: (she picks up a pair of her underwear that are clawed out and bitten through and
gives Joey the look) Joey!!!!
Monica: (picking up a bag of potato chips with ants all around it, where the guys were
sleeping) Is this the tickling feeling you were talking about?
Monica: and look, racoon footprints, JOEY! You were suppose to put the food
(they all look at Joey, Joey looks away from them all and sees a car heading towards them on the
Joey: A CAR! A CAR!!
Ross: You think we are going to fall for that one?
Phoebe: Heís right thereís a car!
All: hey hey! (they all start running after the car and practically in front of it until the guy
Guy: (he looks at them they are all a mess) Sorry guys I dont have any money.
Rachel: (distressed)No no, we just need a ride to a gas station. Please, weíve been stuck
here for a day! There are no other cars in sight, we have no food left, our clothes are destroyed
Guys:(interupts) All right! All right! But I can only take one of you.
(Rachel jumps in the car before the others get a chance)br>
(LAST SCENE: They are all in Chandler and Monicaís apartment. They have just gotten back
from their adventure)
Monica: We should all do that more often! That was a blast!
(They all throw pillows at her except Chandler who still wonít give up that little pillow)
Ross: Whatís with you and that pillow man?
Chandler: Oh You know, pain, pain pain..pain..pain..pain.....(Monica goes over to him)
IS GOOD! (he throws the pillow on the couch) see.. all better!
(Monica starts kissing him and movers her hand over his butt. He jumps ten feet)
Monica: Right..... youíre going to the doctor now.
When you are done
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