TOW All the Quotes
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Excuse me, but do you have any extra pants? It seems here my friend had a little 'accident'.Up...
I'm so sorry sir, I guess my friend here really likes you.
Walkin' in my kitchen... NAKED. Pickin' up an orange... NAKED.
A mistake?! Where were you trying to put it in, her purse?!!
Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me or sleeping with someone else?
Well maybe I don't need your money-- Wait, WAIT.. I said MAYBE!!
And it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!!!
Oh! I have to get over it. I didn't realize that. I have to get over it. I'm just going to have to write that on my hand.
Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?
Oh, please. It was so obvious. It's like you're marking your territory. You might as well just come in and pee all over my desk.
You fell asleep???
Isn't that great? Isn't it just kick-you-in-the-crotch and spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Let me show you my underware ...
I don't have my passport here but I can tell you exactly where it is on my nightstand.
Jurasic Park - could happen!
So.... Does it?
You guys want these? Well, you got them! Just give us our APPARTMENT BACK!
Ohh...that is soo sweet...I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again! (real sarcastic)
These are my new "I dont need a job I dont need my parents I got great boots" boots.
Great time!? The whole time I was in Greece I was asked; "Mrs..Gellar, Why you cry?
Ross, this not a marriage, it's the world's worst hangover!!!
Joey has a secret peep hole, he takes naked pictures of us, eats his bucket of chicken and looks at them!
(singing) and you fly's still open (ross looks down) made ya look.
How do you expect me to grow, if you wont let me blow?
All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!
I'm still 29 in Guam ...
Does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Oh I have to go pee, if I dont come out in 5 minuted its because iv'e chocked to death on the po-pouree stink
I think the word you're looking for is .... ANYWAY...
You're getting married.... as in "I now pronounce you wife and wife"?
Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make POTPOURRI!
It seems that the powder and lotion have turned into a paste and now the pants are stuck.
The phsycal act of love...
Uhh.. look. I found my macadamian nut. *SPITS IT OUT* Up.. No, somethin' else.
It's always been you, Rach!
You're over me? When ... when ... when were you under me?
Whendidhe ... whendidhe ... whendidhe ??
It's not like I didn't try to, Rachel, but things got in the way, ya know, like... like Italian guys or ... or ex-fiances ... or ... or ... or Italian guys ...
Yes, it is how they do pants, ...... in PRISON!
You looked? You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. "Do I look fat?" "Noooo!" "Is she prettier than I am?" "No."
That's funny. That's painfully funny. No, wait. It's just painful.
Why wouldn't I want to come to your wedding? I had fun at the first one.
WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!
Rachel, you BALDED my girlfriend!
It so does NOT!
Now, just as she's about to drift off, you hug her, then you roll her over to her side of the bed -- she still thinks you're just hugging -- and you slip away. Hug for her. Roll for you.
Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!
Thats not me...I dont cheat...I'm not joey
I, Ross, take thee Rachel ... Emily ...
I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than "to get you in to bed"
Hey, if it works out between you two [her and Tim], then you can tell your kids that you slept with their grandpa.
You know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon? Do the words "Billy don't be a hero" mean anything to you?
Don't you worry about me falling asleep...I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER!!!
I too am just a love machine (Hums a little bit and mimics Paul's flexing)
Ross: "I sometimes wonder what would of happened if i hadnt divorced......... "; Pheebs: "which time? [smirk]"; Ross: "THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey
That sounds like another word to me!!
Hot naked lady, or BIG TUB of JAM?!"-Chandler, "Put your hands together!-Joey.
Look at me, I'm Chandler! Could I BE wearing any more clothes?!
How you doin'?
That's right, just keep rubbing your head, that'll turn back time!
ok man, I didnīt want to bring this up, but chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my whole life. it's not even a name! it's barely even a word. It's kind of chandelier... but it's not. It's a stupid, stupid, non-name.
Why would he turn off porn??
She's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her at a bar or something, I'd be buying her breakfast ... You know, after having slept with her...
I mean, it's like this chemical thing. She starts laughing and all I wanna do is --- pull off my arm, just so I have something to throw at her.
You think I need I new walk?
Look, I'm on board with the total honesty thing, just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble!
You see, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.
These little women, how little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
Hey, everybody lies on their resume! I wasn't one of the Zoom kids either.
I got a toy soldier ..... and a fifty. These must be Chandler's pants.
That's how they do pants!!
If I have to choose between you and the hat - I choose the hat!!
I have got two words for you - threesome ...
Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Monica: My motto is let em go before they go down. Joey: That is SO not my motto.
Why don't you ask her how long she's going to live. Cause women live longer than men.
Joey: "Haven't you ever been unemployed?" Ross: "I'm not unemployed, I'm on sabaticle!" Joey: "Hey don't get all religious on me, ok"
AND THATS WEDNESDAY!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA ... which sister?
Looking good, Mr. Kotter!
And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross
Joey: "well your gonna have to get a divorce", Ross: "no, no...no we can just get an annulment!", Joey: "Dude, Ross I dont think surgery is the solution!"
not to like?? Custard, good. Jam, goood. Meat, gooooood!
one day. Tuesday- two days. Wednesday - what day?? Thursday - third
It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!!
You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
You know,Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he got out of the shower, he always put a towell around his waist. I mean, what is THAT about?
(Talking to duck)"Now, I want you to think about what you've done!"
Today, I am going to court to change my name to John.
So either Joey's great in bed or they like to agree alot with him..
Yeah, remember when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck??
Monica. Think. You're going with Julie ... to Bloomingdale's... It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Your tailor ..... is a very bad man!!
You know, you've got to stop the Q-Tip when you meet resistance.
In the words of A.A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole".
Wax the door shut...we are never leaving this room.
Gum? Oh, that's a great idea. "Dear Janice - Have a Hubba Bubba birthday!"
(dances out the room) Once i was a wooden boy a little wooden boy!
We did break up, she just took it REALLY WELL!
How can I answer that when I'm pretending I don't know you?
He mumbled something in Italian. And I KNOW he only knows the bad words ...
Just wake us up before you go-go ...
I don't know, R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office
It's the theme from Good Will Humping
Well kids If I don't get in there and put in those numbers.... it really won't make much of a difference.
Uh, so how many cameras were actually ON you?
I figure if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun I'm pretty much gonna be peeing every which way!
(to himself)Gum would be perfection...GUM would be perfection...I could of said gum would be nice, I could of said I'll have a stick, but no, no, no, no, for me, GUM is perfection.....I loath myself.
I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now...
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian ... did I say that out loud??
Jill Goodacre asks Chandler if he wants to call somebody. Chandler thinks: 'Yeah, about a hundred guys I went to highschool with.'
I am not BLAH ! ...I am a HOOT !
"Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in a movement!"
What, the fifth dentist caved, and now they're all reccomending Trident?
(to Ross) If you're not careful, you might not get married at ALL this year!!
(to chick) See that's Yasmine. She's like a whole different kind of chick.
Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin' in a box!!
We can call it our PLANE-A-VERSARY!
All right, tell me if this is too cute: lesbian wedding ... chicken breasts.
For the sixteenth time, I don't think you're obsessive.
I am the energy train and you are on board!
Hey, it took me twenty-eight years to find one man I wanted to spend my life with. If I have to wait another twenty-eight, I'll be fifty-six before I have a baby. And that's just stupid.
Look, I don't need an actual man, just ... a couple of his best swimmers.
You will always be the guy who peed on me
A joke that's funny in all countries
Yeah, we all have jobs. That's how we buy stuff!
We're working, we're moving, we're in the zone we're grooving.
I'm late for work, has anyone seen my left boob?
I've been waiting for you ....
you telling me you don't wanna GET WITH THIS??
You didn't just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!
Welcome to the real world, it sucks.........you're gonna love it!
We could not, would not want to wait!
Ooh... So they don't know that we know they know they we know that they know, right?
No dumby, the robots just work there!
Yeah, like I'm gonna chase after her, I'm carrying a litter!
I dunno. Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story, but it just feels too easy. I just don't buy it.
This is what evil must taste like!
Oh, that explains it, because she called me around 2 a.m. At first all I could hear were little squeaky sounds so I thought maybe it was a mouse or a possum - but then I thought, "where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make a phone call?"
Why am I always pregnant when she does that??
All 7 of us miss you... Me, Rachel, the chick, the duck and the babies
It was so obvious! It was like telling Monica: "Hey, you like things clean"
(on the Santa pants) Naah! They're maternity pants, see - they even came with a list of baby names! These names are good, and these are bad! ... Ohhh ....
Ooo..I so wanna be a waxine girl!
Alrighty, here comes the water works
(While watching old Yeller, she has never seen the ending.) Hey Travis.... whatcha doin with that gun? OH NO! Travis, he's your friend!! (BANG!) OH OH!!
It makes me just want to rip that...sweater-vest right off.
I'm looking forward to you and me having intercourse.
Ooooh, she knew I could kick her ass.
(to Chandler): OH...hello mr. bicept!
You must be Hilda ...
They don't know that we know they know we know!
MY EYES! MY EYES!
If we were in prison, u guys would be like my bitches
So howd you make out last night?