TOW the Wedding Dresses
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like she's actually doing the dishes.]
Rachel: Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes!
Rachel: Oh! It's you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Ross: Hey, do uh, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, I was just about to take a break anyways, so...
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I haven't really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
Ross: I know if you were getting married I'd feel, kinda..... y'know.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but I'm okay.
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Rachel: Oh, that's sweet.
(He goes over to hug her.)
Ross: You're great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Uhh, hang in there?
Ross: Oh, no, I didn't mean, uh...
Rachel: I mean maybe you didn't hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didn't realise that had become anything, yet.
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no, no-no-no, it has become, it has-yeah. Oh no, those were four great dates.
Ross: Oh. Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean y'know, emotionally, mentally, physically...
Ross: Wow, that's-that's-that's incredible.
Rachel: I know isn't it? It's like I'm right there with Joshua.
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And it's y'know, it's kinda like.... it's a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Ross: I gotta get to work.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Fine.
Ross: Hey, y'know, y'know what would make me really happy?
Rachel: Oh yeah, no, what's that?
Ross: If like the four of us could all y'know, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emily's coming into town this weekend, why don't you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Rachel: That would be great!
Ross: Yeah, all right, it's a date. (He leaves)
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
Ross: (coming back in) Did you say something?
Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's]
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think that's, I think that's really cool.
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think you're handling that really well.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? There's nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua. Y'know, they're not gonna get married anyway!
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast it's ridiculous! I mean, they're gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realize what they've done and they're call the whole thing off. I'm telling ya, you're gonna be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at there's.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I don't dance at weddings.
Rachel: Why not?
Chandler: Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this... (Starts to dancing really, really, really badly. Ross enters behind him and he stops.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Joey: I am... (Looks in his date book.) free!
Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month!
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Rachel: In a month?
Rachel: You mean, you mean 30 days?
Rachel: From now?
Rachel: Well, that's great.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but it's going to be torn down, so... I mean, I-I know it's crazy, but everything up 'til now has been so crazy, and I don't know, this just feels right. Y'know?
Joey: (still looking in date b) ! That's the day after stop menstruating! (Tall look at him.) This isn't mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Joshua: What's up? You're voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Rachel: Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. (Hugs him) See you.
Rachel: Yeah! (She sits down) Sit!
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Rachel: I'm more than okay, I am really, really happy! Wanna know why?
Joshua: Do I?
Rachel: 'Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Y'know? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Y'know?
Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, we're-we're-we're-we're-we're clicking.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, y'know if-if there was just like one little area where I-that I think we need-we would need to work on; I-I would think it was we're just not crazy enough!
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-I'm not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Well, yeah, right, y'know what? Yeah, you're right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if (Grunts uncomprehensively)......I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Y'know? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound y'know, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married?
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, it's-it's so, it's so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Y'know, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Don't you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, don't you think?
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, you're a real special lady, but my divorce isn't final yet and, and, and we've been on four days, so I'm thinking "No, but thanks."
Gunther: YOU IDIOT!!!!!
. . . . . .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is putting away the wedding dress, finally.]
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua...
Phoebe: Oh, how did it go?
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to get married-I'm just going through a hard time.
Phoebe: What did he say?
Rachel: Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that he's gonna call you again.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I don't think I even care. I don't think he's the one I'm sad about. Y'know, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I don't think I'm handling it all that well.
Phoebe: Yeah, maybe.
Rachel: And I-I am just trying to figure out why.
Phoebe: Any luck?
Rachel: Well, yeah, y'know how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
Monica: Again. Y'know what? I think we all did.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey! (She jumps up and throws Emily's wedding dress into Rachel's room.)
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernie's at 9 o'clock?
Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three.
Ross: Oh, see I-I don't know if we're gonna be hungry at three.
Rachel: Three people. Joshua's not gonna be there.
Ross: What happened?
Rachel: Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me.
Ross: Noo. Why?
Rachel: Well, apparently he scares easy.
Ross: Oh, Rachel, I'm-I'm sorry.
Rachel: It's okay. Sometimes, things don't work out the way you'd thought they would.
Ross: Come here.
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Oh, hey, don't you have to go pick up Emily?
Ross: You okay?
Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls.
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebe's lap.)
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, y'know what might cheer you up?
[Time lapse, all three girls are now wearing wedding dresses, eating popcorn, drinking beer, and watching TV.]
Rachel: Y'know, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be.
(There's a knock on the door.)
Monica: Oh God! He's gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes to answer the door.)
Monica: No-no, Rachel, don't get it! He can't see us!
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Rachel: I'm not gonna marry Chandler!
Phoebe: Not after this!
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that it's Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Joshua: I gotta go.
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it
Last updated: 9/6/99