TOW The Catastrophe

[Outside, Night] (Oscar and Rachel are looking for Ross)

Oscar/Rachel: Ross! Ross! WHERE ARE YOU?

Rachel: there he is! Across the street! (Rachel runs half way across the street) Ross! (Ross starts to run towards Rachel, but out of nowhere, a truck comes out and hits her!)

Ross: RACHEL!

OPENING CREDITS!

[Hospital] (We hear a heart Monitor Rachel who is lying in a hospital bed, unconscious)

[Hallway] (Ross is on the payphone to Monica)

Ross: Monica? There’s been an accident.

[Monica and Chandlers] (Monica is on the phone to Ross)

Monica: What? What kind of accident? … Oh My God! … We’ll all be right there! … Is she ok? …

I love you too, go to her. … Bye. (To everyone else) There’s been an accident. Rachel is in the hospital. We need to go, now.

Chandler: Oh my God1

Phoebe: is she ok?

Monica: Ross didn’t say. We need to go! (They all exit)

[Hospital] (Ross is in the waiting area as all of them enter. Monica runs over to Ross and embraces him)

Monica: Any word?

Ross: Yea, (upset) they bumped her up to Intensive Care!

Joey: That’s great!!

(They all stare at him)

Ross: No, no it’s not!

Joey: So, what happened?

Ross: Well, we had this fight because she found lipstick on my coat, and a number in the pocket.

Phoebe: Why? Why did you have lipstick on your Coat?

Ross: I hugged a friend from work good-bye and it rubbed off. The number belonged to her too. She totally thought the worst!

Chandler: Well what did you EXPECT her to think?

Ross: anyways, she found them and told me to get out. So I did. I was just up the street when I heard my name being called and she was standing in the middle of the road. I (Starts to cry, well, kind of…) I was starting to run up to her when this truck came out of nowhere and struck her!

All: Oh my god!

Ross: its all my fault she’s in there.

Chandler: Well, don’t tell her that.

(The doctor approaches Ross)

DR: Ross Geller?

Ross: yes?

DR: I have some news regarding Ms. Greene.

Ross: Ok.

(The doctor notices everyone leaning in)

DR: I will tell you in private.

(Ross follows the Dr. to the hallway)

DR: Ross, Rachel is most likely going to be just fine…(Ross sighs in relief) that is if she gets out of her coma.

Ross: How long?

DR: Hours, Days, some times weeks and longer. We can’t ever be too sure. Here is the bad news…I’m afraid she has lost the baby.

Ross: What?

COMMERCIAL BREAK.

DR: You did know she was with child, correct?

Ross: No, I didn’t.

DR: I’m sorry for your loss. On the most part, for Rachel there are no defects, long-term things such as illnesses, and uh, crippling.

Ross: Well, that’s great. How far along was she?

DR: three and a half weeks, almost a month. I’m sorry again.

Ross: When can we see her?

DR: Well, one at a time, only briefly. I want you to be last since you noted that you will be staying the night,

Ross: Ok. I’ll send them in.

DR: I’ll be around if you need anything.

(Ross walks back over to everyone)

Ross: Well, she said Rachel would be fine as soon as she comes out of a coma. She, uh, lost the baby.

Joey: Wait, she was pregnant?

Ross: apparently.

Monica: How far along was she?

Ross: Three and a half weeks, almost a month. We can all see her, one at a time. Oh, god, I’m gonna loose her. And this time, I can’t get her back.

Chandler: Ross, your not gonna loose her; let’s just bring her back.

Ross: one at a time, who’s first?

Joey: Me.

[Rachel’s hospital room] (Joey enters slowly.)

Joey: Hey, Rachel, I’m just gonna talk, ok? Y’know, when I first met you I tried to hit on you. I don’t know, you where a different kind of beautiful. Just a very rare breed of person. I saw through how spoiled you where. Gosh, you had the most beautiful eyes. But you belonged to Ross. I was so happy when you two ended up together. And I am so privileged to be your friend. (Begins to cry) I love you Rach.

(Chandler enters)

Chandler: Mind if I cut in?

Joey: Go ahead, I’ll see you downstairs. (He exits)

Chandler: Hiya Rachel. Uh, this is awkward. I guess I’ll just reminisce. Oh! Remember that Christmas? 1988, Ross and I where over from college…

[FLASHBACK!] (The Geller’s, 1988)

Mrs. Geller: Monica! Come down here and welcome your brother and his friend.

Monica: (Skinny) Hey Ross, Oh, hey Chandler.

Chandler: Hey.

Ross: so, Monica, did you invite any friends over? (Hinting towards Rachel)

Monica: Well, Ross, Rachel is right (Rachel enters, her nose is fine J) here!

Ross: Hi Rachel.

Rachel: Hi Ross. (To Monica) Why is he staring at me?

(Ross hears and turns away blushing)

[Time lapse] (The living room. Ross is sitting on one end of the couch, and Rachel is on the other side. Ross slowly scoots over towards her to make a move.)

Rachel: is chandler seeing anyone?

Ross: (Scoots back over to his side, rejected and dejected) Uh, (lying) yea, he likes Monica. A lot.

Rachel: Oh, ok. (Sad)

(Ross gets mad and leaves and chandler enters)

Rachel: Hey, what’s new?

Chandler: Oh, nothing, Just noticing how very hot you look right now.

(Rachel Jumps up and kisses his, they fall onto the couch, after a long moment, they break hearing…)

Voice: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Chandler: Ross! I was just, uh, y’know, kissing Rachel.

Ross: Why?

(Rachel knows Ross has a crush on her, so she covers for Chandler)

Rachel: Actually, I kissed Chandler. I didn’t really give him a choice.

Ross: do-do you like him?

Rachel: (In her own little way we all know) Noooooo… I was just uh, Desperate.

Chandler: Oh, I see now.

Rachel: Chandler and Ross, the kiss meant nothing. Good night.

Ross/Chandler: Good…night.

[Hospital Room]

Chandler: I know this sounds strange, but that kiss really meant something to me. (Kisses her hand)

[Hospital Chapel] (Ross slowly enters, and gets down on his knees.)

Ross: (To the cross) Hello, God, I know we have never really talked, but, look, please God, don’t take her away from me. I am so sorry for everything and I swear I will do anything. Just don’t take her. I love her. Please God, Please…

[Rachel’s Hospital Room] (Phoebe has her guitar)

Phoebe: I wrote you a song, well, here it is:

OH! I THOUGHT SOMEDAY WE’D LEAVE,

WE’D GO TO ARIZONA

BUT NOW I CAN’T BELIEVE,

YOU GOT STUCK IN A COMA,

THE DOCTORS SAY YOU’LL BE ALL RIGHT,

THAT YOU WILL BE OK.

WE’RE GONNA HAFTA BE HERE ALL NIGHT,

SO PLEASE WAKE UP TODAY.

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Ok, I’m done now. It was kinda short, but I don’t really think you care.

Monica: Hey, can I have my time with her now?

(Phoebe leaves and Monica takes her spot by Rachel)

Monica: Hey, Rach. Uh, so, I want to let you know that I’m here and um, I love you Rachel. You are my very best friend, ever. (Crying) See! I don’t cry! Just come out, wakeup! Please! I need to know that you’ll be ok. You have grown so much since you first got here we all need you. The guys will outnumber Phoebe and me! We won’t have even teams. (Crying even harder) We will HAFTA say, “I wish Rachel where still here,” and “Remember when Rachel said this or that.” and “If Rachel where here, she would say this.” I love you Rach! I don’t want to have to say those things.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Rachel’s Room] (Empty, then Ross enters)

Ross: Hi. (Voice Cracks) I am such an awful boyfriend. This is my fault. I am so, so, so sorry. You in fact do deserve better than me. I remember our real first kiss. Do you?

{FLASHBACK!] (An airplane. Monica (skinny) and Rachel (Fine nose) are sitting by each other and Ross (his hair is like it is in the first season) and Chandler (normal) are behind them.)

Monica: This is so radical! I am so happy you talked your parents into letting you use the beach house!

Rachel: I know! This is perfect. No, parents, just you, these morons, and me.

Monica: Hey, are there sleeping arrangements?

Rachel: That depends, how much will you pay me?

Monica: what?

Rachel: I know you want to sleep with chandler. That means, I have to sleep with your brother. How much will you pay me?

Monica: How much do you want?

Rachel: For Ross: Eh, no less than $35.

Monica: no!

Rachel: Hey, do you want to get laid or would you prefer to sleep with your brother?

Monica: Fine! Why so expensive?

Rachel: are you kidding? That’s cheep! Your lucky your bother’s kinda cute.

Monica: (In her short but sweet way) Ewe.

[Time lapse] (The beach house)

Monica: WOW! So, Rachel, where are we sleeping?

Rachel: (glairs at Monica then lies. She’s a bad liar) Well, my parents didn’t feel comfortable with the same sex sleeping in the same room so, Monica and chandler, your bedroom is to the right, and Ross, (Seductively) Our room is upstairs.

Ross/Chandler: WHAT?

Rachel: (pouting) Unless, you want me to sleep with Chandler, Ross.

Ross: Nope, that’s fine, I’m fine.

Monica: Let’s go settle in then.

[Ross and Rachel’s Room] (Rachel is unpacking her bras, night wear and under wear. Ross can’t help but look.)

Rachel: (Sees him) Yes?

Ross: Wha? No, uh, nothing. So, how school?

Rachel: We got out last week, remember?

Ross: Oh, yea.

(Nearing him, teasingly)

Rachel: are you always this nervous?

Ross: (Chuckles, the totally serious) Yes.

Rachel: (Pushes herself against him, she loved to tease him!) Well…. I’m going water skiing. See yea tonight. (She skips off and Ross can’t breathe)

[Time lapse] (Ross and Rachel’s room, that night. Ross is reading when Rachel in only her little red bikini comes in holding her back and limping)

Ross: Hey, are you ok? Sit down! (Rachel limps over to him and falls onto the bed.)

Rachel: OW!

Ross: where? Where does it hurt?

Rachel: right here, my right leg. (She slowly lifts it with her toes pointing straight forward) See?

Ross: (Takes her leg and begins to rub up it to her thigh.) is that better?

Rachel: oh, yea. Will you take a look at my lower back? I hit it on some coral and it is really starting to sting!

(Ross waits for her to lay on her belly and he sees the beginning of a cut but then realizes, most of it is under her bikini bottoms. So he pulls them down (NOT TOO LOW, DON’T WORRY!!) low enough to see the whole cut.)

Ross: wow, that’s a bad one. Let me go get the hydrogen peroxide…

Rachel: will this hurt?

Ross: nah

(Ross rubs the hydrogen Peroxide on her back and she sighs with relief. He puts the band-aid on)

Rachel: thank you. Wow, (sits up and looks at him) you have really great hands. You should be a masseuse.

Ross: Nah, to be one of those, I need a weird name like, rain, or Phoebe you know? My names just too ordinary.

Rachel: (Giggles) Well, my shoulders still hurt, will you be my masseuse?

Ross: OK.

(Rachel lays down on her belly and Ross slowly begins to massage her back. )

Rachel: Oh, Ross, my bikini is in the way, will you unhook it so I can take the top off?

(Ross doesn’t know if he’s heard her right. take it off? Does she mean all the way off? Ross agrees and quickly unhooks it. Rachel pulls her arms out and the bikini top falls to the floor: Ross exhales. After a moment…)

Rachel: Ross? (She sits up; Ross tries not to look at her) I have a question. (The grabs the pillow and covers herself) Do you like me or something?

Ross: No! I mean, I like you but I do not want you.

Rachel: You are a bad liar! I mean, you cannot lie! (Laughs) Seriously, are you ever going to make a move?

Ross: Yes, I like you.

Rachel: Well, I kind of like you too, but I don’t want a relationship or anything like that.

Ross: (Hurt) oh, ok.

(Awkward silence)

Rachel: So how about a couple nights? (She smiles)

Ross: Well, let’s see. Is anything else hurting?

Rachel: Only my heart.

(Ross grabs her and kisses her very passionately)

[Hospital bed] (Rachel is still in a coma)

Ross: I have only had one dream, one dream since high school, and that dream is to be with you. I love you Rachel.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Hospital café] (Ross and Monica are talking)

DR: Ross! Ross! SHE’S AWAKE!

[Rachel’s room]

Ross: Rachel, Honey! Can you hear me?

(Rachel slowly looks up and attempts to smile. Ross starts to cry when he sees how horrible her condition looks. She has many tubes coming out of her, a black eye and huge gash above her left eyebrow. She slowly and weakly extends her arms for a hug, Ross embraces her, carefully)

Ross: I thought I’d lost you again!

Rachel (slowly): I- love you s-s-so much. I am so sorry I kicked you out. I-I-I was so scared that you where cheating. Your gonna be so mad, I…

Ross: SHH, Honey, it’s ok. There is nothing to worry about. And I can’t be mad at you right now, your so…

Rachel: I kissed Oscar.

Ross: what? Why?

Rachel: I didn’t mean to, he was just so sweet and I was upset…

Ross: Honey, no, don’t worry. I love you, ok? I forgive you. (He kisses her sweetly on the lips.) Let’s get you outta here.

Rachel: I’d like that.