Episode 104 - TOW Joey's Ex-Wife Part II


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from the TV show FRIENDS.

Joey picked up baby Lucy and cradled her and Phoebe picked up the other baby. Joey knew that the girls' names were so close together, but he thought it was nice and Phoebe did too. And her thoughts counted to him lately. Phoebe picked up Lucia and they walked out of the nursery. The stroller was waiting and they placed them down inside.

Phoebe: Are you ready to go home, daddy?

Joey: Whoa . . . daddy . . . I'm a daddy.

Phoebe: Scared?

Joey: A little.

Phoebe: Don't worry. You've got Monica and chandler, Ross and Rachel, and you've got me.

Joey: Thanks Pheebs.

Phoebe smiled at him and they left headed towards the elevators.

Phoebe: So, what are you gonna do now . . . your first fatherly act?

Joey: Oh . . . uh . . . well, I'm gonna take them . . . to well, back to my apartment because I don't want them to get sick. It just turned spring and there are lots of colds going around.

Phoebe: Joey, you're a great dad. You're gonna make some woman very happy one day.

Joey: Oh my God! Who's gonna want to date a single guy with two kids?!

Phoebe: Lots of women! I'd do it! I mean, date a single gut with two kids. Hell, I've got five kids for two days a week. So, I know the feeling of being single and having children.

Joey: Thanks for making me feel better, Pheebs.

Phoebe: Any time.

Joey smiled at Phoebe as they got onto the elevator and headed for the bottom floor. Joey glanced at Phoebe and noticed her smile. She had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Why hadn't he seen it before? Well, he had, but why hadn't he noticed it like he was noticing it now? Her eyes were beautiful and they sparkled when she smiled. Her face was gorgeous and her body was incredible.

Joey: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Hmm?

Joey: Uh . . . do you think that you could stay over tonight . . . to help me with the babies, I mean. I'm not used to babies . . .I helped with my sisters before, but this is different.

Phoebe: Okay. Well, I can do that. Frank and Alice aren't bringing the kids over till tomorrow night, so I can sleep over and help with the babies.

Joey: Thanks again, Pheebs.

Phoebe: You're welcome.


Rachel: Come on Ben! Please stop crying! Please! Oh Ben! Baby, come on, please go to sleep!

Rachel was sitting on the floor of her bedroom, leaning against the bed with the baby in her arms. She was rocking him back and forth to try to soothe his cries but nothing worked. She tried feeding him but he spit it all up, she tried burping him, but it didn't work. She tired talking to him, walking with him, and she tried bathing him. But it didn't work. But, there was one thing she hadn't done yet. She hadn't sung to him yet. But she was a little self-conscious about her singing. But he was a baby. He wouldn't care. Rachel took a deep breath.

Rachel: Hush little baby . . . don't say a word. Rachel's gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird don't sing, Rachel's gonna buy you a diamond ring . . .

The baby's lids began to droop and he slowly stopped crying. Rachel smiled and swayed back and forth. She was incredibly afraid to move for fear that the baby would wake again. So, she just sat there on the floor and leaned against the foot of the bed, holding baby Ben in her arms.

Rachel: You know what baby boy? I really hope that your baby sister is like you. You're such a beautiful baby. You've just got this personality that makes everyone love you. I hope my little girl is gonna be like you.

Ben grunted in his sleep and he curled up against her belly. Rachel smiled. Her belly was just starting to show and she was happy that her baby girl was still growing inside of her.


Phoebe pulled up along the sidewalk next to a baby store. The girls were sleeping in the back and Phoebe got out of the taxi and got the stroller out of the trunk. The girls were placed in the twin stroller and Joey pushed them into the store.

Joey: Okay, so, what are the basics that I need?

Phoebe: Well, you need lots of diapers, clothes, bottles, cans of formula, pacifiers . . .

Joey: How much money do I need to spend?

Phoebe: How much do you have in your wallet?

Joey: I just cashed my check . . . I think I have some of it.

He pulled out his wallet.

Joey: I have five thousand.

Phoebe's eyes widened.

Phoebe: God! You can go wild in here! Okay, you HAVE to let me help you cause I'm a girl, and we're getting baby girl stuff.

Joey: Okay. I need your help, Pheebs.

Phoebe smiled and they began walking through the store.

Phoebe: Okay, first, let's get the cribs. What kind of crib do you want?

Joey: It doesn't matter to me . . . whatever . . .whatever the girls like.

Phoebe: Okay. What about these . . . the nice oak cribs? The kids used to sleep in some like these before they got their big beds.


About an hour later, Phoebe and Joey were loading a bunch of nursery stuff into the trunk of the taxi, and in the back seat between the babies.

Phoebe: Okay. I think we're ready to go.

Joey: Yeah. Let's get home and put this nursery together.

Phoebe: You're putting them in the room next to yours?

Joey: Yeah. God, I've got a lot to do. I have to take all the stuff out, wallpaper the place and put the nursery together.

Phoebe lightly put her hand on Joey's shoulder.

Phoebe: Don't worry. I'll help you.


It was late and Rachel was now sleeping in bed with Ben's bassinet by her bedside. She let him sleep in the same room because he was pretty fussy and it took her a couple hours to get him to sleep.

Ross walked into the room and smiled when he saw Rachel. He slowly walked across the room to get out of his clothes and go to bed. Rachel heard his footsteps and she sat up quickly.

Ross: Sorry I woke you.

Rachel: It's okay.

She stood up and walked across the room. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him sleepily.

Ross: Did you have a good day.

Rachel: Yeah. Ben and I had a blast.

Ross: Good. You okay?

Rachel: I'm good.

Ross: What about our little girl?

Rachel: She's still floating around in there.

Ross: Good.

Rachel: I'm really tired . . . I'm gonna go to sleep now.

Ross: Okay. I'm going to take a shower in a minute and I'll come right to bed.

Rachel: Okay. Goodnight.

Rachel kissed Ross gently.

Ross: Night.

He left the room and headed towards the bathroom.


It was about 1:30 in the morning when the nursery was all done. Joey hadn't even been over to Chandler and Monica's. He'd tell them about the babies in the morning, but right now, he and Phoebe were standing in the finished nursery with pinks and yellows all over the place. They put up to bassinets in the living room because the bedroom had to be aired out.

Phoebe: I'm gonna sleep on the couch tonight. If you wanna take them into the bedroom with you, just wheel those in there.

Joey nodded and took the bassinets into his bedroom. The babies were sleeping peacefully and all was well. Joey walked back out into the living room and smiled at Phoebe.

Joey: Thanks Pheebs. I know I've said that a lot. But . . . you've really helped me out a lot.

Phoebe: Hey. Any time.

Joey smiled and walked into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.


In the morning, Rachel walked into Monica and Chandler's apartment, where little Katie was sitting in her baby swing. Ross and baby Ben, who was in a stroller, followed in Rachel.

Rachel: Morning.

Monica: Morning. You look like you slept well.

Rachel: Funny. Real funny.

Chandler: Have you seen Joey or Phoebe?

Monica: I bet they're doing it!

Ross: No. We haven't seen them.

Chandler: Strange. Monica, Katie, and I weren't home much last night. Katie had a fever so we took her to the hospital.

Rachel: Oh my God! Is she okay?

Monica: She's fine.

Rachel: Good.

Phoebe walked into the apartment.

Phoebe: Hey guys!

She looked extremely tired.

Monica: God, Phoebe! Where have you been?

Phoebe: Joey's.

Monica: See! I was right!

Chandler: You and Joey? You're doing it?!

Phoebe: What?! No! I was at his house last night helping him take care of the babies.

Rachel: What babies?

Phoebe: Oh yeah! That's right, you don't know yet. Joey's ex-wife showed up yesterday . . .

Chandler: Joey was married?!

Phoebe: Old news. Believe me. Anyway, she showed up nine months later and had two little girls yesterday. She didn't want them, so Joey has them. Believe me, they are his girls. They look just like him. Anyway, I was with him all day yesterday setting up the nursery and stuff. I stayed the night to help him take care of the girls. Well, anyway, I'm going home so I can get some sleep before Frank and Alice bring the kids over tonight. I'll see you guys later.

Phoebe grabbed a muffin and walked out of the apartment. Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel all looked at each other. Chandler picked up Katie and Ross pushed Ben as they all headed across the hall to Joey's apartment. Rachel opened the door and they all filed into the apartment to see Joey lying on the couch, half-asleep, two bassinets beside him.

Chandler: Oh my God.

Monica: God. Joey's a dad.

Rachel: Joey?

Ross: I think he's dead.

Joey: What?

Joey woke out of his half-sleep.

Joey: I'm not dead. I'm dead tired though. Come here guys. You have to meet the most beautiful girls in the world.

Everyone gathered around the bassinets and peered down at the infants.

All: Oh!/They look just like you!/How cute!/They're so tiny!

Joey: I know! They're great! This one on the right is Lucy. The one on the left is Lucia.

Rachel: How does it feel to be a dad?

Joey: Great. I'm happy and I'm scared. Hell, I don't know if I'm hungry or I have to go to the bathroom cause I'm so confused, but I love these little girls. Their mother just gave them to me without hesitation and now I've got them to myself. It feels good.

Ross: I envy you, man. It must be tough being a single dad.

Monica: So, you're really going to do this? Be a dad?

Joey: Yeah I am!

Chandler: Wow . . .I never thought you had it in you!

Joey: I know! I didn't either, but I really love these two little girls. It's hard to believe you can love someone that you just met . . . so much, but you can. I love these babies . . .

Rachel had tears in her eyes.

Ross: Honey? What's wrong?

Rachel: Sorry, it's the hormones. I'm just . . . it's so sweet! Joey has two little girls and . . .we're having a little girl!

Ross hugged Rachel and she cried on his shoulder. Monica started to cry.

Monica: Oh! I want another baby!

Everyone started to get emotional and they all got in a big group hug.

Joey: Okay. I kind of need some sleep, so can you guys please go? I'm tired.

Everyone left Joey's place quickly and Joey walked over to the baby girls who were sleeping quietly.

Joey: It's just us today. Daddy's here. I'm not going anywhere.