Written by Michael J

Characters created by Marta Kauffman and David Crane

Scene:[Central Perk] Monica and Chandler are seated on the couch discussing wedding invitations. Monica is holding a clipboard.

Monica: (excitedly) OK, OK I think we are starting to make a dent in this invitation list.

Chandler: (bored and frustrated) A dent? That’s it? Monica we’ve been at this for an hour and a half now. Wouldn’t it be easier to send everyone an invitation and just hire a bouncer at the church to weed out the overflow?

Monica: (agitated) Hey we had a deal remember, you agreed to help me with this list, and in exchange I would help you with your stupid underwear problem.

Chandler: Monica, this is a significant dilemma I’m facing here. Just when I think I’ve got my boxers vs. briefs question sorted out. What do they do? They come out with the boxer-brief. What’s up with that? Comfort and support all in the same package? (laughs) I’m sorry; the engineering technology is still years in the future.

Monica: OK Fruit of the Room, back to the list. (looks at her clipboard) Let’s see…. Do you want to send an invitation to your Uncle Willie?

Chandler: (thinking) Uncle Willie, Uncle Willie…Ah yes, my short, fat, bald Uncle Willie. Now there’s a guy who’s a lot of fun at parties. Always has a new joke to tell. Just loves to pinch the girls, which is surprising considering he’s on my father’s side of the family. The only thing is he doesn’t know when to leave. You know the type; they hang around and hang around. If we invite him, I’m afraid (spoken slowly as he looks down) Uncle Willie Willie won’t…go home.

Monica: I’ll take that as a no then.

Chandler: Come to think of it, send him one. He’ll just show up anyway. At least this way we can get one of his ornamental, his and hers toilet paper holders. (pause) Oh…I didn’t tell you that, besides being annoying, Willie does woodworking on the side.

(Monica laughs and checks his name on the clipboard)

[Opening Credits]

[Scene: Central Perk. Continued from before. Monica and Chandler are still working on the invitations, when Chandler notices a woman who just walked through the door.]

Chandler: That woman looks so familiar. Where have I seen her before?

Monica: (looks over) Wow, she’s pretty. She’d better not be familiar with your "little Willie".

(Chandler starts in on one of his laughs until he notices Monica’s serious stare. His laugh slowly turns into a slight whimper.)

Monica: (smiles) I’m just kidding. So, you don’t know who she is?

Chandler: I don’t know. I’ve seen her before with…short hair. That’s it! Mon, you know who that is?

Monica: No, but I can assume that the last time you saw her, someone had short hair.

Chandler: (with a look of astonishment) That’s Chloe!

Monica: Who’s Chloe? I don’t knooooo…(change of expression). Not Chloe! Not copy place Chloe! Not, I’d love to see her and Rachel meet in a dark alley, Chloe!

Chandler: Yep. That’s her! I guess I didn’t recognize her with her long hair. (laughs). Man she sure looks go…(as he is about to say the word good, he notices Monica glaring at him and finishes with) …God-awful.

(Chloe turns from the counter and starts to approach the door.)

Chandler: Quick. duck so she doesn’t see us! (to late. Chloe smiles and waves when she notices him and approaches.)

Monica: Chandler, women like her don’t have to see. They usually just sniff the men out.

(Chloe approaches the couch.)

Chloe: (In her slightly dimwitted sort of way.) Hey, how are you? I don’t know if you remember me. My name’s Chloe. I used to work at the copy store down the street. You and your friend used to hang out there all the time.

Chandler: (defensive) Well…well not all the time. Sometimes we hung out at the Wiz and swapped stories with the guys from the home electronics department. (laughs) Those crazy guys were…(notices both Monica and Chloe starring at him.)…Chandler. Nice to see you again Chloe.

Chloe: Yeah that’s right. I knew it was a weird name. (reaction shot of Chandler. Chloe turns to Monica.) So who’s your friend?

Chandler: This is, this is…(can’t think of her name.)

Monica: (angrily) Monica! Chandler’s reconsidering fianc?e.

Chloe: Oh that’s so cool. Congratulations. (pause) Wow, it’s been a long time.

Chandler: (said loudly to cover the tension.) It sure has! (pause) So what have you been doing to, I mean, with yourself these last few years?

Chloe: (excited) Oh I’ve been living in LA doing a little acting. Maybe you’ve seen my commercial for Garden Fresh feminine hygiene spray. I think it’s gone nation-wide.

Chandler: (eyeing Monica cautiously.) Nooo I don’t think I have caught that one yet. But if it’s gone nation-wide, you never know.

Chloe: Oh well. (pause as she looks down) So how is your other friend, Ross?

Monica: (sarcastically) I’ll bet you remember Ross pretty well, heh? (Chandler gives her a little shove.)

Chloe: Oh yea. He was just the sweetest guy. Although he was really going through a tough time with his girlfriend the last time I saw him. I felt so sorry for him. I hope they worked everything out.

(Chandler and Monica look at each other, then down. Chandler then looks up and notices that Chloe has a worried look on her face.)

Chandler: Chloe is something wrong?

Chloe: Oh, (thinks to herself.) Can I confess something to you guys? It’s been weighing on my mind for such a long time now.

Monica: (kiddingly) You sure it wasn’t weighing on something else?

(Monica’s comment goes right over Chloe’s head as she continues talking.)

Chloe: I don’t know if you know this but remember how drunk Ross was that night?

Chandler: Yes, I remember wishing that I were a lot drunker that night myself.

Chloe: (looking down) Well, I kind of spent the night at his place.

Chandler/Monica: (sarcastically) Noooo..

Chloe: I know! I have felt so guilty about everything that happened that night. Ross was so depressed. I just wanted to help him out anyway I could, you know.

Monica: (with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.) Yea, any way you could.

(a tense pause ensues. Chandler breaks the tension.)

Chandler: So, care to share any details with us? (Monica gives Chandler an "I can’t believe you just asked her that" look.)

Chloe: Well there’s really not much to tell. We sat and talked for a while. He was so upset about something his girlfriend had done. Poor guy. I could tell he was so in love with her. She had really hurt him badly. Anyway, after about four beers and half a bottle of Stoly, he started getting angry and frustrated over the whole thing. Eventually he got up and staggered towards his bedroom. I tried to help him cause he was having trouble walking, but he just went into his bedroom and slammed the door in my face. That was pretty much it.

Chandler: (dumbfounded) You mean you didn’t…

Chloe: As much as I wanted to, (Monica gives a disgusted look.) I could tell that he didn’t want me in that kind of way. He was really crazy about his girlfriend. So I just crashed on the couch.

Monica: (with a look of astonishment) So you never slept with Ross?

Chloe: Well that’s kind of the reason I feel so bad about the whole thing. (pause as she looks down.) I don’t know but I guess I felt rejected and upset. It’s not like I was used to getting turned down very often you know.

Chandler: (sympathetic) Oh I imagine you weren’t. (Monica gives him a quick look.)

Chloe: So anyway, the next day at work I kind of gave my friend Issac the impression that Ross and I…you know…did it. I figured he was so drunk that he wouldn’t remember anything anyway. At the time, I didn’t think that it was that big a deal, but now I realize that it was a bad and selfish thing to do. (pause as Chloe looks at her watch.) Well I’ve got to get to the airport to catch my flight to LA. (she stands) It was great talking to you guys. It felt so great to get this off of my chest. (Chandler raises an eyebrow.) When you see Ross, please tell him I’m sorry about everything. I hope his girlfriend realized how lucky she was to have the love of such a wonderful guy. Well, take care.

(Chloe walks away and exits the coffee shop. Monica and Chandler just stand there looking at each other.)

Monica: Wow!

[End of scene]

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s Apt. Joey, Monica, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are seated in the livingroom. Joey is at the kitchen table eating a sandwich.]

Joey: (in his whiny sort of way.) I can’t believe I missed seeing Chloe! (Pause) Does she still wear those skimpy outfits?

Chandler: Yea Joe. You could say she was very revealing today.

Monica: Yes, veerry revealing.

Joey: Well if Monica liked it, then it must have been something. (pause) (whining again) and I missed it!

Phoebe: You know, I’m getting this strong feeling that you guys are holding out on us. Come on, spill the beans.

Monica: Well, actually there is something.

Phoebe: (loudly) Ah Ha! I knew it! Next time I won’t think twice about ordering the chili for lunch.

(everyone gives her a bewildered look.)

Phoebe: Ah come on, you know. Chili beans. Spill the beans, Rocky and Bullwinkle. (holds up part of her blouse to reveal a chili stain.) Oh forget it!

Monica: Well you know how we’ve always thought that Chloe was the lowest form of life for doing what she did the night Ross and Rachel broke up?

(Phoebe and Joey nod in agreement.)

Chandler: It seems that the bad thing that we thought that she did that night wasn’t really as bad as the bad thing that she actually…(he notices Joey’s and Phoebe’s puzzled looks.) Boy, I am really bad at this. (annoyed) Help me out here Monica!

Monica: Ross and Chloe never slept together that night!

Joey/Phoebe: (shocked) What?

Monica: She lied about the whole thing.

Joey: Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Chloe spent the night at Ross, she didn’t put out, and Ross doesn’t know this? (laughs) Wow, is he going to be pissed.

(everyone looks at Joey.)

Chandler: Joey, remember the discussion we had on how you should not continue to talk after your mind has gone blank?

Joey: (timidly looking down) Yea.

Chandler: Well you’ve been shooting blanks for quite a while now, Joe.

Phoebe: Wow this is really huge. So are you going to tell Rachel?

(just then, Rachel walks through the door)

Rachel: Tell Rachel what?

Phoebe: (trying to think of something) That… that you should try the chili at that new restaurant down on the corner. They use very interesting beans in it.

Rachel: (quizzical look) OK.

(slight pause as everyone looks at each other)

Chandler/Joey/Phoebe: (all at the same time) Well I’ve got to be going. (they all hurry out the door)

Monica: (desperately) Wait you guys! (but they are already out the door)

Rachel: Wow, they sure were in a hurry.

Monica: (slightly mad as she looks at the door) Yea, they sure were. (turns to Rachel) So Rachel, how was your day?

Rachel: Oh I’ve had better. I’m still trying to find a replacement for Tag. You know a good ass…(her mind quickly wanders as she smiles a bit. Then she quickly snaps out of it and comes back to earth)…istant is so very difficult to find these days.

Monica: Oh I’ll bet they are.

Rachel: Monica, you look like you have something on your mind. Anything you want to share? Because after sitting through eight interviews listening to people drone on about things like how many different places you can stick a post-it-note, (introspectivly) although a couple of them were quite clever (grimaces) but painful, I sure could use some stimulating conversation. (recalls excitedly) Oh, but one lady did show me how to make a beautiful centerpiece using only colored highliters, and fax paper. I’ll have to show you later, it was so cute.

Monica: (interested) Oh I’d love that! (pauses and gets serious) Rachel, there is something that I have to tell you. It’s about something that happened a long time ago and I don’t know if it even means anything to you anymore. But I’m going to tell you anyway because I think that you need to hear it.

Rachel: Monica you sound so serious.

Monica: Well here it goes. (takes a deep breath) Do you remember Chloe?

(the smile on Rachel’s face quickly disappears and is replaced by a look of dread. There is a pause as Rachel stares into Monica’s eyes.)

Rachel: Chloe? Chloe? Wow I never thought that I would hear that name again. (gathers her composure) Yes. Yes of course I remember Chloe. Her exploits are permanently imbedded in my memory! Why what about her? (pause) She’s not hanging around Chandler is she?

Monica: No no no not at all. As a matter of fact, Chandler and I ran into her at the coffee shop today and had a most interesting conversation.

Rachel: (starting to get upset) Oh really, about what? About how many lives she has ruined in the past four years? (pause) About, about how sorry she is feeling for everyone she has ever hurt? (tears form in her eyes.) About how she screwed up the best relationship I’ve ever had in my entire life? (Monica’s eyes widen with this revelation as Rachel cries harder. Monica gives her a hug.)

Monica: Oh honey, I’m so sorry for even bringing up her name. (Pause) But you should know what she told us.

Rachel: Monica, I don’t think that I want to…(Cut by Monica)

Monica: (Straight faced) Rachel, her and Ross never slept together that night!

(Rachel looks up at her with a blank expression.)

Rachel: What did you just say?

Monica: Honey, Chloe told us she slept on the couch that night. She said that Ross slammed the bedroom door in her face.

(Rachel gazes at her in disbelief. Then looks down for a moment. She then looks up and lets out a slight laugh.)

Rachel: (Loudly) and you believed her? (Gets serious again) Monica she was lying!

Monica: Rachel I’m sorry but I believe she was telling the truth. She told us she lied about what had happened the next day at work. Apparently to cover her reputation and to sooth her damaged pride. That must have been the version that you heard from Gunther.

Rachel: (With a tormented look on her face.) But Mon, this can’t be! (Pause as Rachel looks down then back up) Did she say anything else?

Monica: She said that all Ross could talk about was you, and how upset he was about everything that had happened that day, and…(She looks down)

Rachel: (pleading) And what Monica?

Monica: (pause as she takes Rachel’s hands)…and that she had hoped his girlfriend realized how lucky she was to have the love of such a wonderful guy.

Rachel: (with tear-stained eyes) But I don’t understand. I asked Ross the next day how she was in bed and he told me that she was…was (softly) "different".

Monica: Honey, maybe the reason that he said she was different was because he really didn’t know how she was in bed.

(Rachel looks down from Monica with a thoughtful expression on her face. She then stands up and puts her hands on her face as she walks towards the window and starts to cry again.)

Rachel: (tormented) Oh my God Monica, what have I done? (She breaks down and cries harder. Monica goes over to Rachel and hugs her trying to comfort her.)

Monica: Rachel, you had no way of knowing…(Cut by a teary-eyed Rachel)

Rachel: But…but Monica, I accused him of the worst possible thing without even giving him a chance to explain himself.

Monica: Rachel, you can’t blame yourself for this. Remember Ross actually thought that he had slept with her.

Rachel: Yea but Monica that just makes the whole thing worse. I didn’t hesitate to believe that Ross, the one person whom I trusted more than anyone in the world, was having sex with someone else, and to believe it from Gunther for Gods sakes. (she walks slowly over to the couch and sits down and ponders introspectively) I remember him telling that he wasn’t a cheater, that he wasn’t that kind of person. (pause) I think in a way Ross wasn’t really sure if he had done it himself. (stands up) But I didn’t even give him a chance to…(she starts to cry again)…Oh Monica I was so mean to him! (she totally breaks down in tears)

(Monica puts her arm around Rachel and sits her back down on the couch while Rachel continues to cry on her shoulder.)

Monica: Oh sweetie I’m so sorry. I wasn’t sure how you were going to take this. (pause) Is there anything that I can do?

Rachel: (looking up with tears in her eyes) I don’t know Monica. I’m really not feeling very good about myself right now.

Monica: Rachel honey, you can’t torture yourself anymore about what happened in the past with Ross. It’s done. It’s history. It can’t be changed. What you have to do is turn yourself in the opposite direction and consider one question. How do you feel about Ross today? That’s what you have to focus on now.

Rachel: I’m…I’m not sure Monica. (pause) Ross and I were such a long time ago. What we had together then was something that was new to me at the time. I mean, I had never felt like that about anyone before in my life. (smiles as she recalls) Oh God Monica, what a feeling! I…I can’t even begin to describe it. I know for sure that it was love, but…but what happened to it? Does something that wonderful just disappear, or…or (look of realization) has it been inside of me all this time and I just wasn’t aware of it?

(Rachel stands up and starts pacing the room deep in thought. Then she looks at Monica in a confident manor.)

Rachel: You know Monica. I…I think I just realized something. I truly believe I’ve loved Ross all along. (pause) It’s…it’s like all of those loving feelings that I once had for Ross are coming back to me and filling up inside of me and giving me a new strength to…(she has a look of realization) …Oh God Monica you know who I am? I’m Scarlett O’Hara! You know, in Gone With The Wind, where she realizes her true feelings for Rhett Butler. Oh it’s so romantic, it’s…(the smile that she had on her face quickly fades)

Monica: What’s wrong?

Rachel: Monica that’s where the movie ended. We don’t know what happened between them. For all we know, Ross could have went back to Charleston and shacked up with some floozy, dancehall, carpetbagger girl.

Monica: Rachel let’s stay focused here. I’m quite sure that Rhett, I mean Ross, shares the same love for you that you have for him.

Rachel: (hopeful) Oh Monica, do you really think so?

Monica: (mimicking Mammy of GWTW) Now Rachel, youz jus lisen to yo Monica honey child!

Rachel: (laughs) Oh Monica thank you so much. You’re such a good friend. (they hug)

Monica: (still doing Mammy) Why youz entirely wel…(cut by Rachel)

Rachel: (slightly annoyed) OK Mammy, you can stuff a turnip in it! (Monica quickly shuts up)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment. Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are sitting in the livingroom discussing the girl’s earlier conversation.]

Monica: So then she realized that she has been in love with Ross all along. Oh it was so romantic. I was almost in tears myself.

Phoebe: Oh and I missed it. Instead I’m stuck with Chandler and Joey down at the coffee shop watching them trying to guess the chest measurements of all the women who walked through the door.

(Monica quickly gives Chandler a frosty stare as he attempts to gather himself for an excuse.)

Chandler: (nervously) Ah…Ah Joey actually did the guessing. I…I was just doing the tabulations, you know, me being a numbers guy and all.

Joey: (with a fond remembrance look on his face) And I gotta tell ya, some of those numbers were pretty impressive.

(Monica continues to stare at Chandler as Ross walks through the door.)

Ross: Hey guys.

Joey/Chandler/Phoebe: Hey Ross.

Monica: Howdy Rhett! (everyone else looks at Monica with puzzled expressions on their faces. Monica thinks of an excuse)

Monica: (apologetic) Sorry. I love that book so much.

Ross: (still eyeing Monica) Anyway, Guess what?

Chandler: I for one am guessing that experts have discovered through fossilized remains that Dino and Sabertooth Cat, despite being squabbling housemates, actually had a very close and special relationship.

(Ross stares at Chandler with a blank expression)

Ross: Noo…(continues looking at Chandler) Actually, National Geographic wants to interview me for a piece that they are doing on the mating and migrating trends of the ancient mammals of the North American glacial plane.

Chandler: (with a smug look) How about that. I nailed it! (Ross gives him a stern look but, by his expression change, realizes that in a way he was right.)

Joey: Hey Ross I think it’s great. You know, National Geographic was an important part of my childhood learning experience.

Ross: Thank you Joey.

Joey: Yea, I had the biggest collection of naked tribe’s women pictures in the entire neighborhood. I’ll tell you, they were very educational.

Monica: Ross, I think I speak for everyone when I say; you should have seen that one coming.

Ross: Go ahead, make fun. I was just going to invite everyone out to dinner to celebrate. But since today seems to be; pick on poor professors of paleontology day, then I’ll just…(everyone comes up to congratulate him)

Chandler: You know, I’ll have to check my holiday schedule at work. I might get that day off.

Ross: So hurry up! Chop! Chop! (claps his hands) Let’s get ready!

Phoebe: Sure thing Hop Sing.

Ross: Come on, I’ve got reservations for six at Antonio's in one hour. Where’s Rachel?

Monica: She’s at home resting. She’s had a rough day.

Ross: Oh really. Do you think she’ll want to come?

Phoebe: (excitedly) I don’t think wild, flesh eating, pointy teeth, ferocious, smelly, (Phoebe continues to rant) unsightly, scab ravaged, oversized lizards could keep her…(she realizes everyone is staring at her and changes her tone to softly and quietly)…I don’t know, why don’t you ask her.

Monica: I’ll run over and check on her.

Ross: That’s OK Mon, I’ll go. (Ross leaves)

Chandler: People, I have a feeling we are in for an intriguing evening.

(Everyone nods in agreement)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s apartment. Rachel is standing at the counter with her back to the door. She is spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread. Ross enters quietly, but not quietly enough for the average person to notice. He closes the door and comes up behind Rachel without her noticing.]

Ross: Hi Rach!

Rachel: (she is startled) Ah…(she jumps and as she does she throws her slice of bread up in the air and it sticks to the ceiling.)

Ross: Rachel I’m so sorry. I thought you heard me. (Rachel is trying to recover with her hand over her heart.)

Rachel: (trying to catch her breath) Ross! Oh God! No it’s OK. I…I guess my mind was somewhere else.

Ross: Well it looks like your bread is also somewhere else. Do you want me to get that down for you?

Rachel: What? (looks up at the ceiling) Oh no. (laughs) I’ll just grab some of Joey’s jam and some gravity boots and finish that baby later. (laughs uncomfortably. She walks over to the other side of the counter and sits on a stool.)

Ross: So I heard you had a rough day today.

Rachel: (still trying to gather her composure) What? Oh no no. Just some (thinks of something) some problems with old orders at work that’s all.

Ross: Awe I’m sorry. (pause) Well I’m here to cheer you up.

Rachel: (surprised) You…you are?

Ross: Sure, you look like you could use some cheering up. Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?

Rachel: (shocked) Dinner? You and me? Dinner? The two of us?

Ross: Well actually it would be the six of us. I’m doing an article for National Geographic, and I wanted to take everyone out for dinner to celebrate. Come on, what do you say? It’s on me.

Rachel: (slightly disappointed) I don’t know Ross. I’m kind of tired and…(cut by Ross)

Ross: Oh please Rach. It would mean so much to me if you were there.

(Rachel gets this look of fond reminiscence in her eyes)

Rachel: (softly) It would?

Ross: Of course it would. And I guarantee it will be better than eating peanut butter and jelly off of the ceiling.

Rachel: (Looks up again at the ceiling and laughs) I guess so. (She gazes into Ross eyes and knows that she cannot turn him down) Of course I’ll come. I just have to get ready.

Ross: Oh thank you Rachel. (he walks over to her and gives her a hug. Rachel has her eyes closed and a sweet grin on her face. She doesn’t want to let go.) Rach. (she continues to hold him tight) Rachel! (she finally lets him go. He steps back but still has his hands on her shoulders.) Wow…OK so I’ll see you at Monica’s in half an hour.

Rachel: (softly) OK.

Ross: See ya. (after he says this he makes his way to the door and leaves the apartment.)

Rachel: (after he is gone) See ya. (she says it the same way as she did in TOW The Chick and the Duck. She is still behind the counter with her head leaning on her hands when the piece of bread from the ceiling falls back down right in front of her face. But she doesn’t even notice. She just stares at the door.)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Italian Restaurant. All six are seated at a table. From left to right are Joey, Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe. Everyone is eating dinner.]

Monica: Boy, it’s been a while since I’ve had Italian.

Joey: (Notices a cute waitress) Come to think of it, it’s been a long time since I’ve had some Italian myself. (as he eyes the waitress in approval)

Chandler: Hey! Testosteroni man! If you don’t stop drooling like that we’re going to have to put you in that fountain over there and throw quarters at your head.

(Pause for reaction)

Ross: So what do you guys think of this place? Pretty nice heh?

Phoebe: (excited) Oh yes Ross. I especially enjoyed the rustic Old Italian look of the doorman. I think he said something sexy to me in his native tongue when I tipped him.

Monica: Ah Phoebs, that guy was a bum who was begging for some lose change. (pause) But I do believe what he mumbled to you with his alcohol-soaked tongue did have a lot of sexual content.

Phoebe: (pauses to think) Ah, that would explain the strong rustic odor.

Ross: (notices Rachel) Rachel you’ve been awfully quiet tonight. Is everything OK?

(Rachel is looking down at her plate, picking at her food. She’s in her own world)

Ross: (spoken louder) Rach!

Rachel: (startled) Wha…(she looks up quickly and as she does, she loses her fork. It goes flying up in the air and lands in the dessert cart behind her.)

Phoebe: Ooh Rachel good choice. I think I’ll have the canoli for dessert too.

Ross: (concerned) Rachel what is wrong? You look so tense. Come here; let me give you a massage. You used to love these.

Rachel: Oh Ross I don’t think this is a good place to…(he starts massaging her shoulders) ahh…(she sinks down in her chair leaning more towards Ross. She is getting very relaxed. Her eyes are closed and a smile appears on her face. Then she starts making little noises of pleasure.)

Phoebe: (whispers to the others) Do you think we should give them some privacy?

Joey: (eating) Hey, I don’t care if he rips off the tablecloth and throws her up on top of it. I’m gonna finish my Veal Scala…whatever. This stuff is great!

(Rachel finally notices the others talking and comes back to earth)

Rachel: Oh Ross, wow. Thank you (Ross stops) That was incredible.

Ross: (proud of himself) You’re welcome.

(A beautiful and buxom waitress comes up behind Ross and around to his side so that her chest is level with Ross face)

Waitress: (in a sexy tone) Will there be anything else…sir? (as she says this, Ross turns to face her and his eyes come within inches of her breasts. He then jumps back a little being caught off guard. Everyone notices this including Rachel.)

Ross: (flustered) Oh hi ah does…does anybody want anything else?

Everyone: Nothing, all set.

Ross: Well I…I guess that would be a no then. Just the chest…I mean the check…the check please! (waitress leaves to get the check)

Joey: Wow Ross did you see that, she was totally hot for you. Did you see the way she…(he then notices the looks of "Just shut up!" that he is getting from Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe.)…she she poured your glass of water? Filled it right up to the top, and with no ice falling into the glass. How about that?

(Rachel through all of this is starting to look very uncomfortable. Then the waitress returns with the check.)

Waitress: Here you go sir. Hope you enjoyed everything. (she puts extra emphasis on the last word as she gives Ross a generous view of her chest.)

Ross: (in a timid way) Thank you very much. (the waitress walks off. As Ross picks up the check off of the table, another piece of paper falls and lands on the table between Rachel and Ross. It has a name and phone number on it. Rachel glances at it and as she does, her expression changes. Ross is looking the other way and doesn’t notice this. Rachel takes on a look of panic.)

Rachel: Excuse me! (she quickly gets up and heads for the ladies room)

(almost simultaneously, both Monica and Phoebe rise to their feet)

Monica/Phoebe: (in unison) Excuse me. (they leave to follow Rachel)

Ross: What’s up with them?

Chandler: (trying to cover) Well I’m thinking that either they had a lot of that (turns to Joey with a glare and with emphasis) finely poured water, or they are discussing details of the wonderful and charming service we’ve received this evening.

[End of scene]

[Scene: Ladies room.]

Rachel: (disturbed) Oh my God you guys, what is wrong with me? (she paces back and forth) Why am I acting this way?

Monica: Rachel don’t worry, It was just an awkward moment. We’ll work through this.

Rachel: Mon, how can we work through this? One minute Ross is massaging my neck and I am in heaven. (last word spoken with emphasis)

Phoebe: Yea, we were kind of there with you.

Rachel: Then…then the next minute that damned tramp from the Gina Lolobridgida school of waitressing is hitting on him and I am at the height of jealousy. I gotta tell you, that’s a little more emotional fluctuation than I’m used to.

Monica: But Rachel, look on the bright side. This was a good way to test your true feelings for Ross. You know, to confirm that those emotions still exist and are as strong as they used to be.

Rachel: (calming down) Yea, I suppose you’re right. (worried look) Oh God but what is Ross thinking about all of this? Do you think he suspects anything?

Phoebe: Rachel I think you’re giving Ross a little to much credit here. He may know a lot about evolution, but he is definitely lacking when it comes to revelation.

Monica: Yea, Phoebs is right. Ross is probably going to need a little nudge in the right direction. (pause) and if that doesn’t work, I’ll personally give him a swift kick in the ass!

Rachel: Awe thanks guys. (they all get together for a group hug. Just then, Joey’s agent Estelle enters and notices them hugging.)

Estelle: (clears her throat) Ah girls, I realize that this has probably been a very emotional experience for you all. But I’ve got to warn you; I’ve got some serious business to take care of in here. So unless you want to add some tears to your emotional foray, I suggest you scatter quickly because this Italian food isn’t going to wait much longer.

(with that the girls make a hasty exit.)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Next day at Central Perk. Ross, Joey, and Chandler are there. Joey and Chandler on the couch and Ross on the big chair.)

Chandler: So Joe, what’s new in the captivating, compelling, engaging, engrossing, provocative, poignant, and unbelievably predictable world of daytime drama?

Joey: (puzzled look) What?

Ross: The show Joey. What’s new on the show, Days of our Lives?

Joey: Oh. (excited) Oh…oh I think they want me to play a dual role.

Chandler: Joey, they’ve got to be running out of Ramorays. Unless they want you to play the little heard from, lesser known one that works at the medical uniform place downtown. You know, Dr. Fake Ramoray. (poses as a mannequin)

Joey: Very amusing. But this new role could test my acting abilities to the max.

Chandler: Joey, I think your acting abilities were pretty much maxed out when you played that gay carriage driver in the way Off-Broadway version of "Oklahomophobic".

Joey: (getting annoyed) That’s it. I’m not telling you now. I’m gonna talk to Ross instead. (turns to Ross) So anyway, they want me to play the ghost of the late Dr. (turns quickly to Chandler) Drake Ramoray Sr., who comes back to even the score with his old nemesis, Dr. Simmons, the current chief of staff at the hospital.

Ross: Joey that’s great. (notices his chagrin) But I take it there is a problem.

Joey: (hesitant) Well yea there is a slight problem. (pause) The truth is…(looks down embarrassed)…I’m kind of (mumbles softly) afraid of ghost.

Ross/Chandler: What did you say? I didn’t hear you.

Joey: I’m afraid of ghost! (says it loud enough for everyone in the coffee shop to hear. He sinks into the couch in embarrassment.)

Chandler: Joe, unless Dr. Drake Ramoray Sr. had a secret affiliation with the KKK, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

Joey: Really?

Ross: Joey let’s look at this logically. (Chandler rolls his eyes) Your impression of what a ghost looks like has probably been skewed over the years. Possibly due to all of the cartoons and comic books you have been subjected to. Ghosts are largely misunderstood. Some of them are probably pretty nice ghouls. (Ross laughs at his lame joke attempt. He notices Joey has a look of total confusion.) What I’m trying to say is the reason you have this fear of ghost is because you don’t understand what’s it’s like to actually be a ghost, you see. You have to put yourself in their…(was going to say shoes but reconsiders)…continuum, then you will realize that they’re not so bad.

(Joey nods in agreement)

Ross: Yea, it’s very similar to the way the T-Rex has been largely misunderstood with regards to their feeding…(cut by Joey).

Joey: I got it Ross! (they stand)

Joey: Thanks Ross. I think I get what you are saying. Don’t judge a ghost by it’s covering. (Joey laughs at his own joke. As they are standing there talking, Chandler has borrowed a white tablecloth from one of the waitresses and has it over his head approaching Joey from behind. He is holding a plate with a muffin on it.)

Chandler: Care for a muffin?

Joey: Yea sure. (as he turns around and looks at Chandler, he lets out a scream and jumps into Ross arms.)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Chandler and Monica’s. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the kitchen table looking at a magazine with pictures of wedding centerpieces in it.]

Monica: Now see Phoebs, the centerpiece is an important and integral part of the whole wedding reception experience.

Phoebe: (slightly bored) You don’t say.

Monica: Well sure. Each one makes it’s own statement. Now this one (points) expresses an air of understated elegance. And this one (points) with the daisies screams out cheerfulness and gaiety.

Phoebe: (points to a page) Ooh Ooh, I like this one here!

Monica: Phoebe that is a basket of bread.

Phoebe: Of course, how perfect. And it kind of screams out it’s own message. Butter me – eat me! (she gets up and leaves Monica with a blank expression on her face. Enter Rachel)

Rachel: Hey guys.

Monica: Well you’re certainly in a much better mood today. Amazing what a shot from Cupid’s arrow can do to a girl.

Rachel: Yea well I think last night I could have used a shot or two from Cupid if he was serving up Jose Quervo.

(Reaction shot from girls)

Rachel: But then I sat down and thought God this whole thing seems so familiar. It’s like I’m exactly where I was years ago when Ross was dating Julie. Remember how miserable and pathetic I was back then.

Phoebe: Yea, but Rach this time there is no Julie.

Monica: And the only thing that is standing in your way is the misunderstood events of a tragic night that never should have happened in the first place. (introspective) My God did I actually just say that? I have got to cut down to two soap operas a day.

Rachel: But I’m beginning to doubt if I can even trust my feelings anymore. They sure let me down the night we broke up. (pause) I never told you guys this, but I was this close (does the thing with the fingers) to forgiving Ross when he was on his knees pleading for another chance. But my insecurities won out over my instincts. (pause as she contemplates) God, imagine how different things would have been if I had trusted my instincts that night and given Ross that second chance. (she breaks out of her daze) But I’ve decided I’m not going to beat myself up about it anymore.

Phoebe: What do you mean Rachel?

Rachel: I think I’m just going to lay low for a while. Leave things as they are right now.

Monica: But honey, how many times can you take nights like last night, with women hitting on Ross, and who knows maybe Ross hitting on other women? That’s going to be tough for you to handle.

Rachel: (slightly teary eyed) I know Mon. (pause) Look, Ross and I have been through so much together. We have this special bond, this connection to each other that will always be there. (confidently) I know that I love him. I know that he loves me. I just need to give him time to realize it on his own without any prodding or manipulations on my part. (pause) I owe him that much, don’t you think?

Monica/Phoebe: (nod in agreement) Sure honey. (they go over to Rachel and give her a hug.)

Rachel: Mon, do you mind if I lay down for a while in my old bedroom? I can’t explain it, but I seem to get some sort of strength from being in there. (thinks) I guess it’s kind of like my Tara.

Monica: Not at all. Go ahead sweetie. You can use this room as much as you want to. (they enter the room)

Rachel: (sits on the bed reflecting fondly) So many memories in this room.

Monica: I’ll bet there are. Some of those memories kept me from getting a lot of sleep at night.

Rachel: (playfully hits her) Monica! (the girls all laugh and put their arms around each other.)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone but Rachel is present.]

Joey: So Ross, are you going to give that hot waitress a call? (everyone but Ross gives Joey the "Shut up you idiot" stare)

Joey: Orrr you could give me her number and I could call her…for you.

Ross: I don’t know Joey, but if I do decide to call her I don’t think your vast telecommunications skills will be necessary.

Monica: Ross you don’t want to go out on a date with her. She…she’s all wrong for you.

Ross: (curious) Now why would you say that?

Phoebe: Be…Because she…she works in the food service industry. And…and (looks over at Monica) so does your sister Monica. So that would be like…like dating your own sister. Ew ew how sick is that?

Chandler: Besides, did you get a good look at her eyes? (upon hearing that, Joey smiles)

Joey: Yea she had a great pair of…

Chandler: (irritated as he glares at Joey pointing to his eyes) Her eyes! Her eyes!

Ross: What about her eyes?

Chandler: You could tell by the look in her eyes that she’s definitely a psycho. (pause) One minute you’re at her place enjoying a nice glass of wine, (says the next sentence quickly and intensely) and the next you are full of holes, wrapped in a shower curtain, stuffed in the trunk of a 57' Buick at the bottom of a swamp!

(everyone stops and looks at him)

Chandler: (gathering his composure) Of course if she has a shower door, then just disregard everything I just said. (pause as he looks at everyone) I’m sorry, that movie has always creeped me out!

Ross: (who is still eyeing Chandler) OK I think I get the message. I’ll hold off on calling her. (getting to his feet) Does anyone want anything?

Chandler: If you happen to spot my self-respect and dignity up there, I’ll take that.

(Ross walks up to the counter where Gunther is working)

Ross: Hey Gunther, could you get me another cappuccino please.

Gunther: Oh sure thing Ross. Oh Ross, I saw an old close friend of yours in here the other day.

Ross: Oh really Gunther? Who?

Gunther: Chloe! It looked like she was having quite the conversation with Monica and Chandler.

(Ross mouth drops open. He becomes flustered and nervous)

Ross: Ch…Ch…Chloe? Chloe? Chloe Chloe?

Gunther: Yes that Chloe.

Ross: and…and she was talking to Monica and Chandler?

Gunther: Gee, Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything about it. Ya think?

Ross: (in a state of shock) No no thanks Gunther. (walks away slowly leaving his cappuccino on the counter. He makes his way over to the large chair as if in a trance)

Monica: Ross honey what’s wrong? Are you OK?

Chandler: Yea you look like you just saw a…(looks over at the counter and notices Gunther leaning on the counter, head in hands, grinning.)…Gunther. Oh no.

Ross: (seriously and softly) You guys talked to Chloe?

Monica: (worried) Oh God Gunther told you.

Ross: (a little upset) When were you planning on telling me about this? (thinks for a few seconds and when there is no reply) Oh apparently never!

Monica: Ross it’s very complicated.

Ross: (calming down) Can I assume the conversation centered around me?

Chandler: Ross, think back carefully. How much do you really remember about that night?

Ross: (getting irritated) I don’t know. Let’s see, I…I remember three things, yea three things. (holds up a finger for each one) I was drunk, I was depressed, and I slept with Chloe. I really had my mind focused on a totally different problem that night you know! (last line spoken in his "Mental Geller" way)

Monica: Think Ross. If you don’t remember anything else that happened before you went to bed, what do remember about the next morning?

Ross: (calmer and deep in thought) Well let’s see, I remember waking up and…and noticed Chloe walking from the bathroom to the livingroom. (becoming agitated) Why? Why are you asking me about this? What did Chloe tell you?

Chandler: (slowly and seriously) Ross, Chloe never slept in your bed that night. She slept on the couch.

(Ross sits in the chair as if comatose)

Phoebe: Ross are you OK? (Ross is still motionless)

Joey: Ross buddy, what are you thinking?

(Ross finally rises to his feet)

Ross: (demanding) Where’s Rachel? I’ve got to find Rachel!

(everyone silently looks at each other)

Ross: I’ve got to talk to her! Where is…Oh God. She already knows about this. (pause) You told her already didn’t you?

(slight nod from Monica)

Ross: (with a look of realization) That explains her behavior lately. How did she take it? (no response) Monica please!

Monica: Ross you had better talk to her yourself. I left her at our apartment in her old room.

(Ross quickly turns and runs out the door)

[End of scene]

[Scene: Chandler and Monica’s apartment. Ross enters quickly but quietly and closes the door. He stops to compose himself. He then walks over and glances in Rachel’s old bedroom, but doesn’t find her there. He then looks up and notices someone out on the balcony looking over. He quietly climbs out onto the balcony. Rachel senses a presence.]

Rachel: (softly) Hello Ross. (without turning around)

Ross: (softly) Hello Rachel. How did you know it was me?

Rachel: (with tears forming in her eyes) Just a feeling.

(there is a pause as neither one knows what to say)

Ross: (softly) Yea, I…I was just down at the coffee shop with the guys. Monica told me you were here. (he looks down briefly then back up) I wanted to see how you were doing.

(Rachel is still looking over the balcony trying to conceal her tears from Ross)

Rachel: I’m…I’m fine Ross. Thank you.

(Ross can now tell that she is crying)

Ross: Rachel, I…I’ve been worried about you.

Rachel: Oh Ross (she can barely contain her emotions) you are so sweet to worry about me.

(Ross moves up close behind Rachel and puts his hands on her arms. Rachel initially tenses up but then slowly relaxes)

Ross: Rachel, there isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t worry about you. (pause) That…that I don’t wonder about what you are feeling, or…or what you are thinking, or what you are fearing, or what you are dreaming. (pause) Those are things that I used to share with you. That we used to share with each other. (he moves even closer) and they will always have a special place in my heart.

(Rachel is now crying a little harder, but still looking over the balcony)

Ross: Rachel it has meant so much to me to be able to remain friends with you all these years. It’s allowed me to stay close to you, not only physically, but emotionally as well. It’s enabled me to hold in my heart something that I dreamed and wished for since I was Thirteen, and to cherish that one precious year we were together, and to (looks down) mourn for ever since that dark night you looked me in the eye and told me… it was over.

(Rachel cries harder after he makes the last statement, but she tries to compose herself. She is still looking over the balcony)

Rachel: Ross, can I ask you something?

Ross: Sure Rach, anything.

Rachel: (she now turns around to face Ross with tear-stained eyes. Pleading) Do you think you could find room for one more thing in all of this?

Ross: Rachel, what is it?

Rachel: (softly) Forgiveness? Forgiveness for being such a stubborn and foolish idiot? Forgiveness for proposing a break from the most special relationship ever? Forgiveness for not being there when you needed me the most? (she is getting more emotional as she talks) Forgiveness for destroying four years of something that could have been so precious and wonderful? (as she says this she breaks down) Oh Ross I’m so sorry!

(They come together in a passionate embrace. They continue to hug and both cry for about 15 seconds. Then Ross pulls away slightly to look into Rachel’s eyes which are full of tears. He takes his thumb and wipes some of the tears away.)

Ross: Rachel, our relationship was filled with mistakes and misunderstandings, probably more than the next. But as we shared equally in the passion, and the warmth, and the tenderness that made our love so special, we have to share equally in the jealousy, and pettiness, and mistrust that ended it prematurely. No one person is to blame sweetie.

(Rachel looks up with a smile on her face. Surprised)

Rachel: Ross, you called me sweetie. You haven’t called me that in such a long time. It sounds so good, so right, so…so perfect.

Ross: Rachel sweetie, in my eyes, …you are perfect.

(Rachel’s smile widens as she embraces Ross even tighter)

Rachel: And Ross honey, there’s something I want to say to you that I haven’t said in a long time.

Ross: (he has Rachel in full embrace and is kissing the top of her head) and what might that be?

Rachel: (she backs away a little to look Ross in the eyes with a loving, confident, and determined gaze) I love you Ross Geller!

Ross: (with the same conviction) and I love you Rachel Green!

(They embrace in a passionate kiss. Crowd goes wild. After a while, Rachel breaks)

Rachel: So can I be your girlfriend again?

Ross: Rachel, nothing in the entire world could possibly make me happier!

[to be continued…]