The One With Chandler's Tie
Joey and Rachel's apartment
Joey is banging away on his drumset, everytime he hits the cymbls he screams out "wahoo"!!
Monica, Phoebee and Chandler come in the door
CHANDLER: what is that awful noise??
JOEYL It's called music
CHANDLER: No, music is nice, music is pretty, what you are doing makes me want to rip my hair out
JOEY: You obviously do not appreciate culture
MONICA: Know what I appreciate, I appreciate quiet, which it had better start being, or I will jam those drumsticks up your nose.
(monica and Chandler leave)
PHOEBEE: I like your music Joe. In fact I think it would sound really fabulous with a guitar
JOEY: I bet it would but where am I going to find a guitar player
PHOEBEE: Uh-duh Joe, I play guitar
JOEY: Oh... yeah
PHOEBEE: Ooh, ooh, ooh we should start a band
JOEY: Yeah!!!!
PHOEBEE: we should play at Central Perk this afternoon
JOEY: all righty then but how are we going to practice without Monica and Chandler killing us
PHOEBEE: we dont' need to practice, music is best played spontaneoulsy
JOEY: Ok then, i'll see you in a couple of hours for our big debut
ROSS(walking down a street in NYC)
EMILY(yes it's the Emily) Ross, Ross Geller
ROSS: Emily, oh my, oh my god what are you doing here
EMILY: I'm in the city for a few days visiting some friends
ROSS: Oh um, that's nice so how um how have you been
EMILY: I"ve been ok, I divorced my husband but I've been doing well, and you
ROSS: Pretty good
EMILY: so do you want to go get a bite to eat
ROSS: Emily, I need to be honest, I dont know what you want to happen but I have moved on
EMILY: Ross, i'm not looking for a relationship, I just thought we could talk I mean, I feel bad about how we left stuff
ROSS Well, alright then
(Rachel had been on her lunch break and had seen and heard the whole thing)
RACHEL:(dials her cell phone) Hi, Barb yeah I'm not going to be able to come back into work, I suddenly dont' feel very well(hangs up) I need a drink
Joey and Rachels apt
Rachel walks in and goes to the fridge she takes out a bottle of Tequilla and starts drinking it straight(yes with no chaser or anything else)
JOEY: Rachel, I think you have your days mixed up, it's 2pm on Tues afternoon not Saturday night
RACHEL: I just saw Ross Talking to Emily, she is in the city and there going out to dinner so excuse me if I dont' follow Joseph Tribbiani's drinking rules
JOEY: Emily, Emily!!!!! What is she doing here
RACHEL: I dont know Joey, I didn't ask her, her life story
JOEY: Um, ok Rach, I have to go meet Pheebs at Central Perk, so you um, you enjoy your drink
Chandler and Monica's
CHANDLER: So, I bought a tie today
MONICA: You went shopping
CHANDLER: yeah, it was all kinds of impulsive, it just kind of jumped out at me
MONICA: Well, let's see it
(Chandler goes and gets a neon green tie, we're talking bright, bright, bright put on your sunglasses bright neon green)
MONICA: what the hell is that
CHANDLER: this is a tie
MONICA: No, that is not a tie, that is a mistake of nature
CHANDLER: Well I happen to like it, come on, look at the pretty tie(begins kissing her lips and neck)
MONICA: That will not be happening until that(points to the tie) goes
CHANDLER: Fine, you know what I'm going to wear my beautiful tie to Central Perk and I bet people will be lining up to admire my tie
MONICA: If even one person compliments that tie, I will be your slave for a week, otherwise you are mine
CHANDLER: Fine, cause people are gonna love this baby(starts stroking the tie)
JOEY(enters and looks at the tie) What the hell is that
MONICA: see
CHANDLER: Please, it's Joey, this is the guy that thought that Goofy actually existed
JOEY: So you two going for coffee
MONICA: yeah, is Rach going
JOEY: No, Rachel is busy drinking up NYC's alchohol supply
CHANDLER: She's getting drunk at 2pm on a Tues
JOEY: Yeah, Emily is in town and she invited Ross out to dinner
CHAN/MON: What???!!!!
MONICA: Emily, the Emily???
JOEY: yeah
MONICA: errrrgh, why is my brother such an idiot, I have to go talk to Rach
Rachel and Joey's
Rachel has finished the tequila had 4 shots of Rum, 3 beers and is now drinking a Margarita
MONICA: Rach, are you ok, Joey told us about Ross and Emily
RACH(very gleeful cause she's well a wee bit drunk) Hii Monona, monic, monic, name with the M
MONICA: well I see we're having fun
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I was in such a bad mood, but now I'm happy(throws a pillow up into the air)
MONICA: Um ok, I think you need to stop drinking
RACHEL: Dont worry, I'll be ok, I got me some Jujubees(holds up the box of candy and starts laughing hysterically)
MONICA; Alright then, I"ve got to go to CP so you keep on havin fun
CP
Monica and Chandler sit down next to Joey and Phoebee
ANNOUNCER: And now I present the debut of the band Joeebs
(Joey and Phobee begin playing what can only be described as the exact opposite of music, people begin throwing food and booing
MAN IN AUDIENCE: For the love of god, stop the insanity, I'd rather wear one of those ugly ties(points to Chandler) then listen to one more second of that crap
MONICA: see-people think your tie is ugly
CHANDLER: people, what people
MONICA: The 37 people I talked to from our apartment to here, face it the tie has lost
CHANDLER: Fine i'll get a new one tommorow
(Joey and Pheebs stop playing and go outside as everyone boos)
JOEY: I can't belive they didn't like our music, this sucks
PHOEBEE: Eh, oh well
JOEY: You're not upset
PHOEBEE: No, we tried it, it didn't work out no big deal(walks off)
JOEY:(to himself) damn, damn damn I really wanted my own band
(Ross enters CP)
ROSS: Oh my good lord I think i'm blind-what on earth is that and what possessed you to buy it(points to the tie)
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah no one likes my tie, you all have no taste
MONICA: Ross, what were you doing eating dinner with Emily
ROSS: You knew, you knew I um...
MONICA: Yes, Joey told us
ROSS: How did Joey
MONICA: Rachel overheard you guys talking, what were you thinking, I mean really Ross how stupid can you be
ROSS: Nothing happened Emily is just in town visiting some friends she wanted to do dinner, then while we were eating all she did was badmouth Rachel and I remembered how annoying Emily was
MONICA: so you're not going to see her again
ROSS: Hell no
MONICA: Good, you might want to explain that to Rachel
ROSS: I'll go see her right now
CHANDLER: Well seeing as how Rachel is partaking in the pleasures of the drink,now is probabaly not the best time
ROSS: Ahh, I get you, I'll go tommorow then
(Joey and Rachel's)
JOEY: My life sucks now i'll never get on MTV
RACHEL: You seem sad Joseph have a drink
JOEY: Yeah, ok(takes a bottle of Jack Daniels from Rachel and starts drinking)
(it's now around 11pm)
RACHEL:(lying stretched out on the living room floor) Know what we need, we need Ice cream we need them, them splitty things
JOEY: Yeah!!! Bana, bonnaer, (tries unsuccessfully to say Banana) nana splits. I'll get the stuff out
RACHEL:(tries to stand up) Ya know what Joe, you're gonna have to make mine for me
JOEY: Ok, oooh yah know who'd prob love a split, Chandler and Monica
RACHEL: Yeah, make um one
(Joey Makes four banana splits he then helps Rachel stand up and they go across the hall. Monica and Chandler are both in bed because they have to be at work early in the morning)
Chandler and Monica's
(Knock, knock)
CHANDLER: What nitwit is knocking on our door at this hour
MONICA: Maybe it's the fashion police
(they go to the door)
JOEY: Heyyyy Chandler, Chandalander Bing, the Chan Chan Man(slaps Chandler on the back)
CHANDLER: Ok if tonites question is what two people had two much to drink, I know the answer
JOEY: No dude, we got splits for you
RACHEL: (Notices Monica) Oh Mon, I"m sorry did we wake you(tries to hug her and stumbles)
MONICA: That's ok, um thanks for the ice cream. Chandler, why don't you take the tipsy twins back home.
(The Next Day)
Rachel and Joey's. Joey is still in bed and Rachel has taken asprin and is lying on the couch watching Days of Our Lives
ROSS: Rach, hey Rach are you home
RACHEL: Hi Ross, (starts to sit up, then puts her hands on her head and groans)
ROSS: Oh yeah, Monica told me about your drinking extravaganza yesterday
RACHEL: Yeah well, I had a really crappy day
ROSS: I know you saw me with Emily. Nothing happened she just wanted to go to dinner to talk, we are not getting back together. As soon as I got to dinner I remembered how much she always annoyed me
RACHEL: Really
ROSS: Yes, all she did was badmouth you, I spent the entire time defending you
RACHEL: wow, you, you defended me
ROSS: Of course, you're my best friend Rach
RACHEL: Ross, do you ever, no never mind
ROSS: Do I ever what
RACHEL: Think about us being more than friends
ROSS: Sometimes
RACHEL(Smiles at Ross as they gaze into each others eyes then slowly begin to kiss) So we're back together
ROSS: I guess so(they continue kissing-just as passionatly as they did in TOW Ross Finds out
Monica and Chandler's
CHANDLER: Here is my new tie, I hope this meets your approval(shows Monica a very tasteful Royal blue tie)
MONICA: That tie is perfect, in fact that tie will get you some lovin(begins kissing him as they walk towards the bedroom)
CHANDLER: So i'm forgiven
MONICA: Yeah, but you're still my slave
CHANDLER: I know
THE END