TOW The Reunion

-Ross and Rachel are married, but Emma doesn’t exist.

-Rachel comes in the apartment with the mail. Ross is on the couch grading papers.

Rachel: Hey babe!

Ross: Sweetie.

Rachel: So, how was your day?

Ross: You know, the same; went to work, lectured a class, made students wake up from the class, went to lunch, lectured another class, made students wake up again from the class, went home, and oh yeah, the lamp broke.

Rachel: That bad, huh?

Ross: No…just the usual.

Rachel: (Sits down next to him, kisses him, and looks through the mail) Let’s see, bills…flyer…bills…free sample of hand detergent…your subscription to Paleontology Aficionado…my subscription to InStyle…and, what’s this?

Ross: Is it that bill from National Geographic? Because if it is, I already paid them for the insect and wildlife calendars. Oh, and I should call them too, they forgot to send my free horned-frog T-shirt.

Rachel: (Looking at him weirdly) Honey, I love you, but…Oh my God!

Ross: Sorry.

Rachel: (Reads the letter) Ross! It’s a letter from Lincoln High School!

Ross: Is it what I think it is?

Rachel: Yes, they said that next weekend is my 15-year high school reunion!

Ross: Wow.

Rachel: You want to go?

Ross: Not really. (Pauses and looks at her) See, we didn’t got to mine last year because I didn’t want to, and since it’s basically the same reunion this year, I think I’ll pass again.

Rachel: Well, we didn’t go last year because it was your invitation and your decision, but this year they invited me.

Ross: Then you go, and I’ll stay here.

Rachel: But were married.

Ross: They don’t know that.

Rachel: Are you embarrassed to go back to school with me?

Ross: No, I’m not embarrassed. Why would I be embarrassed? You were the head cheerleader, homecoming queen, and one of the most popular girls in school! (Pauses and makes a face) Wait a minute, something’s not right here. Why wouldn’t I want to go with the head cheerleader, homecoming queen, and the most popular girl in school?

Rachel: See, come on, it’ll be so much fun.

Ross: I don’t know; the reason I didn’t go last year was because I really didn’t have that much fun in high school.

Rachel: But this is my reunion.

Ross: It’s the same school! We went to the same school!

Rachel: (Giving him the puppy dog eyes) Please…for me?

Ross: Hey, those are my puppy dog eyes.

Rachel: I promise, it’ll be fun.

Ross: Fine, you win.

Rachel: Thank you, sweetie.

Ross: Okay, since you used the puppy dog eyes on this one, you only get to use it one more time this year. Then that’s it!

-Monica and Chandler’s

Monica: Ross actually said yes to go with you!?

Rachel: Uh, huh! I can’t wait to go. (Slight pause) Why aren’t you going again?

Monica: Chandler has this meeting in Boston and wanted me to go with him.

Rachel: He can’t go by himself?

Monica: You know Chandler, he’ll be in a new city, then he’ll get lost, then he’ll have to call me, then I’ll have to come over there and comfort him. It’ll be a big hassle for me if I stayed.

Rachel: (Pauses) You know what, I bet you that you have more pants in your closet than Chandler has in his.

Monica: I do, I do.

Rachel: (Smiles) I cannot wait for my reunion. I can’t wait to see my old high school friends, and talk to my old teachers.

Monica: Is Ross excited?

Rachel: (Looks at Monica) Well…not really, but I promised him we would have a lot of fun.

Monica: Why are you so excited? I really don’t care if I go or not. And Ross probably feels the same way.

Rachel: No Mon., he absolutely does not want to go.

Monica: Could you blame him?

Rachel: What do you mean?

Monica: Rachel, he wasn’t exactly the most popular kid in school. He was made fun of a lot, and he was considered a geek.

Rachel: But that was 15 years ago. Ross is not a geek and he barely gets made fun of anymore.

Monica: Maybe it’s because you’re married to him and known him for such a long time after high school, you wouldn’t consider him a geek, but the people at the reunion may think otherwise.

Rachel: (Pauses) Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should go by myself.

-Ross enters

Ross: Hey Mon., hey sweetie, why aren’t you at home? (They kiss)

Rachel: I was just talking to Monica about…about our reunion.

Ross: Oh, about that. (Takes her hands) Listen, I’m sorry about not wanting to be there with you. But I’m excited that you’re excited about going. I think we will have a great time.

Rachel: Are you sure you want to go?

Monica: Yeah, did you remember high school?

Ross: I had a good time in high school. I won all those science fairs, was on the honor roll, and was president of the Biology club. I had a good time….Listen, I’m going to go and make dinner alright? I just wanted to find you to apologize.

Rachel: (Smiles) Thank you, sweetie. I’ll be home after I talk to Monica.

Ross: Okay, bye. (They kiss then he exits the apartment)

Monica: I just hope Ross knows what he’s getting himself into, and you too.

Rachel: Me, what about me?

Monica: I mean, the most popular girl in school married to a geek?…I love Ross and I know that he is not a geek, but the people at the reunion are not me. They may be—

Rachel: Mon., what are you saying?

Monica: I’m just saying…what if your old friends don’t see Ross the way that you and I see him. What if they still see him as a geek and judge you for marrying him?

-The night of the reunion; Ross is ready, while Rachel is still getting ready.

Ross: Man, I hope Stevie and Will are going to be there. They were so cool.

Rachel: (Turns away from the mirror to look at him) Really?

Ross: Yeah, Stevie could reenact the first 27 scenes of Star Wars, and Will can remember all the elements in the periodical table, in reverse.

Rachel: Wow, and are there careers for what dumb and dumber do?

Ross: Don’t make fun of my high school friends. I don’t make fun of yours.

Rachel: Ross, there’s nothing that you can make fun of.

Ross: You’re probably right, you can’t make fun of slutty people, and all you can do is tell them that they’re slutty.

Rachel: (Smiles) Shut-up.

Ross: (Looks at her) Wow. You look amazing. I can’t believe I’m married to you. I can’t wait to tell me friends that I banged the head cheerleader.

Rachel: That’s nice, sweetie, very romantic.

Ross: I’m joking, Seriously, you look great.

Rachel: Thank you. You look pretty good yourself, mister.

Ross: So, are you ready?

Rachel: Yeah, just have to find my shoes.

Ross: (Pauses) Okay, I think I’ll go make some popcorn and watch Jurassic Park 1,2,and 3. Are you going to be done by then?

Rachel: I’m not that bad, just another 5 minutes.

Ross: Another 5 minutes and we’ll be going to our 20-year reunion party.

Rachel: (In the bedroom shouting) Ross, listen, I’m sorry if I’m dragging you to this! Are you sure you want to go!? I mean, we can stay at home and watch a movie or something!

Ross: (Shouting back) It’s okay! Why are you so worried all of a sudden!?

Rachel: (Coming out into the living room) It’s just that…(slight pause) you know what, never mind.

Ross: What’s going on?

Rachel: I’m ready, you want to go or stay so I can look at more shoes?

Ross: …And we’re outta here!

-Lincoln High School. Ross and Rachel arrive and enter the gym. He’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a blue tie. She’s wearing a black-laced dress cut at the knees.

Rachel: Wow, it looks like a high school dance.

Ross: I’d always wondered what they looked like.

Rachel: (Smiles) Come on, let’s get some punch.

Ross: Okay, but if it’s spiked, I’m telling the principal.

-Time lapse. The principal is in front of a mike and talks.

Principal: Welcome, all Lincoln High graduates of 1983! (Everyone applauses) I hope you guys have a great time talking, dancing, and reminiscing. Enjoy, and it’s such a pleasure to see almost everyone here.

-More applause as we see Ross and Rachel sitting at a table.

Ross: Are you having a good time?

Rachel: Yeah, I am.

Ross: I’m glad and I (looks around)…look at those girls over there.

Rachel: Where?

Ross: Over there hitting on our gym teacher.

Rachel: Oh…my… god…it’s Cindy, Carrie, and Kate.

Ross: Who?

Rachel: Cindy, Carrie, and Kate; my best friends in high school.

Ross: Oh, how convenient, they’re all together.

Rachel: Wow, they look great.

Ross: (Looks at Rachel) Well, go over there! You haven’t seen them in years.

Rachel: Oh wow, look at me, I’m nervous. I don’t know if I want to.

Ross: What are you talking about, go over there!

Rachel: Come with me.

Ross: …Nah, they’re your friends. I don’t know them at all.

Rachel: Come on, we’re married.

Ross: Is that your answer to everything? “We’re married?”

Rachel: (Smiles at him) Let’s go, they’re really fun girls.

Ross: Alright, but if they act slutty, I’m leaving.

-Rachel grabs Ross’ hand and takes them over to the other side of the gym.

Rachel: Cindy? Carrie? Kate? It’s me! Rachel!

Girls: Rachel! Oh my god!

Rachel: How are you girls doing!?

Carrie: We’re good!

Kate: How are you doing!?

Rachel: I’m doing great.

Cindy: That’s wonderful…Oh, and whom is this handsome man standing next to you?

Rachel: This is my husband, Ross.

Girls: Oh!

Ross: Hi, nice to meet you.

Kate: Same here. So, Rachel, you got married?

Rachel: Yeah, me and Ross have been married for a year now. We celebrated our anniversary about a month ago.

Kate: Congratulations. So, Ross, how is married life for you?

Ross: It depends on which marriage? (He laughs, the girls are confused, and Rachel hits his side)

Cindy: I’m sorry?

Ross: (Looks at Rachel, then back to the girls) Nothing, nothing, just joking. Being married to Rachel is such a thrill, and you can expect the unexpected. (Rubs his side)

Kate: So what school did you go to Ross?

Rachel: No, you see, he went to this school too.

Ross: Yeah.

Kate: Oh, that’s wonderful, when did you graduate?

Ross: Uh, 1982.

Kate: (Confused as like the other two) But, we graduated in 1983. How come we didn’t see you around school?

Carrie: Yeah? You were on the football team, right?

Ross: Uh, no.

Carrie: Basketball team?

Ross: No.

Carrie: What team were you on?

Ross: The academic bowl team. (Looks at the girls) We made state finals, you know.

Carrie: (Confused) That’s nice. (Slight pause) So were you on the prom court?

Ross: No, I didn’t go to prom.

Kate: Were you sick?

Ross: No, I didn’t have a date.

Kate: Why?

Ross: (Being sarcastic) Because I was butt ugly, and you know that they don’t let butt ugly people go to any dances.

Cindy: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Being ugly can put so much stress on a person.

Ross: (Looks at Rachel) I’m going to get some punch, (looks at the girls) and feel insecure about myself. Excuse me ladies.

-Ross exits to the refreshment stand as the girls continue to talk.

Cindy: Why don’t I remember him?

Kate: Me as well.

Carrie: Was he some kind of exchange student?

Rachel: Yeah, Lincoln High didn’t have enough Jews, so we exchanged a Hispanic person for Ross.

Cindy: So that’s how they do it.

Rachel: What? No, Ross went to Lincoln all four years; he was just a grade ahead of us.

Kate: Oh…but still, we should have known about him, I mean if he was at all popular, we should have known who he was.

Cindy: Yeah, I don’t get it.

Rachel: Look, Ross wasn’t that popular in high school.

Carrie: Oh, so why are you with him? Is he rich?

Rachel: No.

Kate: Is he good in bed?

Rachel: (Smiles) Yes, but that’s not it.

Kate: Then what is it?

Rachel: I’m with him because I’m in love with him and he makes me happy.

Kate: Oh. (Pauses) Well, I’m with Todd; he makes me happy and he is rich. He also played football and was the prom king.

Carrie: My Anthony is also rich; he was a two-sport athlete and the homecoming king.

Cindy: Well my Kurt was not only the homecoming king, but the class president too. He played baseball, and is also very rich.

Rachel: (Looks at the girls) Well, my Ross is upper-middle class rich…and he…he was on the honor roll, and was also president…of the Biology club.

-The girls all snicker

Carrie: Oh, we’re sorry, Rachel. That was mean.

Cindy: Yeah, Ross seems like a nice guy.

Rachel: He is, he is so sweet. (Pauses and tries to change the subject) So, what are you girls doing for a living?

Cindy: (Thinks) Well, we go to the salon, the tanning place, and sometimes all three of us go into the city for a massage.

Rachel: What, you guys don’t work?

Cindy: Work, (confused) what’s work?

Rachel: You guys don’t have jobs?

Carrie: What do we need to have jobs for if our husbands are rich? I mean maybe we would try to find something if we’re not well off, but we are, so…

Rachel: Oh, that’s nice.

Carrie: So, do you work, Rachel?

Rachel: Yeah, I work at Ralph Lauren.

Girls: Wow/Fantastic/Good for you.

Rachel: Thank you.

Carrie: Does Ross work, or do you have to support him?

Rachel: No, Ross works; he…he works at the university. He’s a professor.

Carrie: Neat. (Changes the subject) So, where do you guys live?

Rachel: (Slight pause) Oh, in the city; the west village to be exact.

Kate: Really, do you own a house?

Rachel: No, Ross and I live in an apartment. (Slight pause) But, we are looking to move into the country soon. We talked about houses in Scarsdale.

Kate: That’s wonderful; Scarsdale is such a beautiful place, but rather expensive. Can you guys afford it, I mean Ross is only a teacher.

Rachel: (Upset) Ross is a professor. The students all call him Dr. Geller.

Kate: But he’s not a real doctor is he?

Rachel: He’s a doctor of Paleontology.

Girls: Doctor of what!?

-We shift sides at the party and Ross has met his friends from high school.

Will: Man, I can’t believe we did that!

Stevie: (Laughing) I know, but it was so worth it. I mean missing a social life to see The Empire Strikes Back was totally worth it.

Will: Too bad you couldn’t be there, Ross.

Stevie: Yeah, you were probably too busy looking at Rachel to hang out with us half the time.

Ross: It worked out for me in the end, didn’t it?

Stevie: I still can’t believe you got her to marry you. Twice! (Laughs)

Will: Yeah, Ross, how drunk was she!? (Laughs)

Ross: Well…the first time…she and I were really drunk…but the second time, we were both very sober.

Will: Man, a woman like that, with a body like that, she must be great in the sack. Am I right, Ross?

Stevie: Yeah, you have to tell Will some details; he hasn’t done it since Return of the Jedi came out.

Ross: (Smiles) I’m sorry, but I’m not going to tell you guys stuff like that.

Will: Why not?

Ross: Because, she’s my wife, and I have total respect for her.

Will: Ross, she can’t hear you! You don’t have to suck up. She’s with her popular friends; they don’t listen to people like us.

Ross: (Confused) What do you mean, “people like us?”

Will: You know, the different cliques in high school: jocks, cheerleaders, outcasts, geeks, etc.

Ross: (Smiles) You guys, grow up. That was 15 years ago, we’re all grown up now; there are no cliques.

Will: Oh yeah, look around the room. What do you see?

Ross: (Looks around the room) I see people having a good time at a reunion party.

Will: You see cliques having a good time at a reunion party.

Stevie: Yeah. Look, (pointing) the jocks are with the jocks, the cheerleaders are with the cheerleaders, and you are with the geeks.

Ross: (Looks around and realize that Will and Stevie are right) Wow. That’s weird.

Stevie: I know, me and Will are right about something.

Ross: No, not that…It’s just that after 15 years, some people stay the same.

Will: That probably goes for your wife too.

Ross: I said some, not all. Rachel is different, she isn’t like any other cheerleader.

Will: Then tell me this, Ross. Why isn’t she here with you; why is she over there with her cheerleader friends?

-We then move back to Rachel and her friends from high school. Rachel feels that she doesn’t belong there, but tries to be happy because she is with her friends.

Carrie: And that’s why I said yes.

Kate: That is so beautiful.

Cindy: I think I’m going to cry, but I’m not because it will ruin my make-up.

Rachel: Yes, Carrie; that was a very romantic story. I never had someone who said yes to marriage because of the ring the man gave her.

Carrie: Do you want to see it? I’ve got pictures in my purse?

Rachel: That’s okay.

Kate: So, how did Russ propose to you?

Rachel: Uh, it’s Ross. And it was so romantic.

Kate: It couldn’t have been more romantic than Carrie’s; could it?

Rachel: (Looks at Kate) I don’t know, but when Ross proposed, it was so unexpected. He—

Carrie: Oh Rach, let’s not get into details. Let’s talk about something else.

Rachel: (Confused) Oh, like what?

Kate: Oh, how about Pete Carney.

Rachel: My ex-boyfriend?

Carrie: Yes, it seems that Pete couldn’t make it tonight because he just bought his second yacht and was taking it out for a spin…to the Caribbean.

Kate: Oh, that place is amazing and so was Pete. Rachel, I think you made a big mistake by letting Pete go.

Rachel: What?

Carrie: Now listen Kate, Rachel didn’t make a mistake about Pete; she didn’t like him. That’s why she went for Barry. (Pauses and thinks) But that somehow didn’t work either? Oh, I’m sorry Rachel.

Cindy: Yeah, we know how you feel. It’s hard to be alone.

Rachel: (In her head) What are you bitches deaf or something!? (Now out loud) What are you talking about? I’m married to Ross!

Carrie: Yes, we know, but when that marriage fails, we—

Rachel: Wait…what do you mean, “When that marriage fails?” Who says that my marriage to Ross is going to be a failure?

Carrie: You actually think that you and Ross will last?

Rachel: Yes I do, and I’m very upset at you three for judging our relationship. You barely know Ross.

Kate: Rachel, sweetie, we are only looking out for you. We are all best friends.

Rachel: No, we are not best friends, we were best friends 15 years ago. (Pauses) Now, I don’t even wanna know you three.

-We now go to the geek side of the reunion.

Ross: (Looks across the gym) Man, Rachel looks upset. I should go over there.

Will: I don’t know; you might get eaten alive.

Ross: Relax guys, she’s my wife and she looks uncomfortable.

Will: Hang out here where you belong.

Ross: What!? (Looks at Will and Stevie) Are we in gangs now?

Stevie: That’d be so cool. (Pauses) Let’s be the T-Birds!

Will: Yeah!

Ross: Oh…my…God…

Will and Stevie: What!?

Ross: You guys are dorks.

Stevie: What’s your point? You’ve always known that we’re dorks, and you’re one too!

Ross: (Looks at them) Listen guys, it was nice to see you again, but I’m feeling a little sick right now. I’m going to get Rachel, and I think we’re going to head out.

Will: No, stay awhile.

Stevie: Yeah, drink some Zimas with us.

Ross: I’m sorry; maybe we’ll see each other again at our 30-year high school reunion.

Will: …But, by that time, we could change.

Ross: (Pauses and looks at the two) Good. (Slight pause) I’ll see ya.

-Ross walks away leaving Will and Stevie speechless. Ross then starts to walk towards Rachel but stops halfway to listen to her.

Rachel: I can’t believe you guys have the decency to judge Ross. Just because he isn’t rich like your husbands, doesn’t give you the opportunity to think that you’re higher than him in any way. (Pause) I can’t believe I hung out with you guys, and I can’t believe I was like you. (Looks at them) But I’m glad I didn’t turn out like you three. And I’m so glad I married Ross.

Carrie: Are you finished with that little speech now?

Rachel: Yes, I am. (Turns and walks towards Ross, but turns back to the girls) Oh, and Ross was right, you are slutty.

Carrie: (Pause) I can’t believe she just said that.

Cindy: I know, I’m more skanky than slutty.

Kate: And I’m more of a bitch than a slut.

Cindy: What are you, Carrie?

Carrie: (Pauses) I’m a pure slut.

Cindy: Wow, you never find those kinds of people any more.

-Rachel walks to the center of the gym to meet Ross. They both smile knowing they both did the right thing. They then shared a kiss.

Rachel: I’m sorry about tonight. It wasn’t very fun was it?

Ross: No, it wasn’t, but I’m glad we came.

Rachel: Why’s that?

Ross: (Pauses) Tonight made me realize that high school was nothing special, and that it’s in the past.

Rachel: Tonight made me think that too. (Pauses and looks around) But I guess for some, high school was all that they have.

Ross: Well, I’m glad I have you.

Rachel: I’m glad you have me too.

Ross: And I’m so glad that you called them sluts. That was so cool.

Rachel: It was, and it felt great! (Slight pause) You wanna go and see your friends?

Ross: No…no, you were right about them. (Looks at her) What do you say we get out of this time machine, and never come back?

Rachel: (Sighs) I agree. (Slight pause) So, I guess it’s only the present and the future for us.

Ross: That’s fine with me. Let’s just go and see our real friends back home.

Rachel: (Smiles) Yeah!

-Ross and Rachel exit the reunion party hand-in-hand and headed for their car.

Ross: So, if our past is gone, does that mean my 3 divorces are gone too?

Rachel: No, that has to stay.

Ross: Why?

Rachel: Your 3 divorces gives you character.

Ross: What…that…that I have no self control?

Rachel: (Smiles at him) I love you, my divorcing guy.

Ross: (Gives in and smiles at her) I love you too, former slut.

The End… July 18, 2002