TOW Ross Meets Emily
[Scene: Bloomingdaleís, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well letís see. (Grabs his hand.) Youíre about, well uh, this one is large. And this one, (Grabs the other hand.)
Joshua: Also large?
Rachel: Yeah! Okay, two larges coming right up!
Mr. Waltham: (entering) Rachel! Could I have a moment?
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonówell Shropshire really but yíknow, well sheís about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, De Fladermouse, and I was wondering if youíd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: Sure. You got it. Great!
Mr. Waltham: Oh, good.
Rachel: Me, Fladermouse, great. I really (motions to Joshua.)
Mr. Waltham: Ohh! Yes of course, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much.
Joshua: So ... (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
Rachel: Ohh! Right! Right, sorry, Iíll be right back!
Joshua: Uhh, actually yíknow what, I kindaóI have to take off.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Rachel: No! Nothing!
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and itís opening tonight, would you like to come?
Rachel: Yeah! That would be great!
Joshua: Youíre into hardcore S&M right?
Rachel: (shocked) Well, I-I guess I ...
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Iím gonna get there early, but Iím going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: Yeah, great, you betcha!
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnít I?
Mr. Waltham: For you and Emily, tonight, De Fladermouse.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, right.
Mr. Waltham: I think youíll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Rachel: Oh yay!
. . .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's. Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Uh-oh, whatís the matter?
Rachel: Ohh, itís Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So ... What are you gonna do?
Monica: I donít know sweetie.
Rachel: No! Help me!
Monica: I canít! I have to work!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Phoebe: Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this is - I have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yíknow the "Wouldnít it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: No, Chandlerís still in Phase One, and Joeyís that thing you smell.
Rachel: Ohh! (Realises that Ross is in the room.) Hi!
Rachel: So ...
Rachel: Ohhhh, come on!!!
(Thereís a knock on the door.)
Monica: I think sheís here.
Rachel: No! Wait! Wait-wait! Ross, please!
Ross: You want me to take some girl Iíve never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, sheís looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you canít see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
Rachel: Iíll be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weíve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Ross: All right, Iíll do it.
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
Rachel: Iím Rachel Green.
Emily: Thank goodness.
Rachel: Thereís been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Iím not free tonight. So ...
Emily: Really?! Well, thatís just lovely, isnít it? I mustíve missed your call, even though I didnít leave the flat all day.
Rachel: Oh well, no I ...
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thatís not rude! Itís perfectly in keeping with a trip that Iíve already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whoís got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Monica: I-I-I think you look great.
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
Rachel: Iíll get her.
Ross: Please hurry.
Phoebe: Donít you just love the way they talk?!
. . .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast. Rachel enters]
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Rachel: Well, I didnít see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
Phoebe: Ohh! So, did you get to meet her?
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Iím Rachel Greep! Iím Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I canít believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Phoebe: (going over to comfort her) Aww, Pheebs.
Rachel: Honey, thatís youíre name.
Phoebe: Thatís short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: Hello. (Listens) Oh, hey Ross!
Chandler: Ooh, let me talk to him!
Monica: Oh-oh, my God!
Chandler: Well, can I justÖ
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Chandler: Sheís shhing me! Itís my phone and sheís shhing me!
Phoebe: Shhh!! Please! Whatís he saying?
Monica: Heís with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
Phoebe: What? Oh my God!
Rachel: What? Who the hell is Emily (realises) noooo!!
Rachel: Theyíre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
Rachel: How-how did he end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! (She hits Chandler again.)
Chandler: Maybe, she doesnít hit him all the time.
[cut to Ross in Vermont, talking on the phone.]
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnít be miserable? Iím telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Thereís a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Ross: Iíve gotta go, thereís a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
[cut back to Chandler and Joeyís.]
Monica: He had to go, thereís a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Rachel: I donít get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Chandler: Okay, Iím going to go stand over there. (Points and moves into the living room.)
Monica: Why do you care so much anyway?
Rachel: I donít care! All right, yíknow what Iím just upset that Iím getting nowhere with Joshua that, yíknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Monica: Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail.
Rachel: Oh, yíknow, would you just for once, not remember every ... little ... thing!! (Storms out.)
Chandler: So yíknow, uh, whenís he getting back?
Monica: A couple of days.
. . .
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross.] (Ross enters.)
Phoebe: Hey, ooh so, how was Vermont?
Ross: Emily is ... incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Rachel: Oh, hey!
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
Ross: Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other.
Rachel: Oh, hmm.
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnít quite there. Yíknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy ...
Ross: Joshua ... guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda ... yíknow.
Rachel: Yeah, I ...
Ross: But now! Iím there! Iím totally there! Iím-Iím finally where you are!
Rachel: Oh, thank goodness!
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Iím so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Ross: Happy for you. (He punches her back.)
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
Last updated: 9/6/99
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